A Second Thought

sugababyboo

mrs. charlie
Rated- PG 13
A Second Thought


The whistling of a black teakettle sounded throughout the quaint Boston apartment as steam escaped from its spout. Quickly, Christiana’s bare feet moved across the cold kitchen floor as she rolled up the sleeves of her opened terrycloth robe. Leaning over the stove, she turned the knob to off and pulled a small packet of green tea out of the cabinet. She reached out, grasped the plastic handle and poured the boiling hot liquid into the gray oversized coffee mug. Her fingers gripped the mug while she left the kitchen and entered her bedroom.

Inhaling the soothing scent of her tea, she pulled up her low- rise jeans before yanking the window shades open. Beams of sunlight illuminated the minimalist bedroom causing her to squint for a moment. As she adjusted the strap of her black lace bra she drank from her green tea. Her eyes traveled to the digital clock on her nightstand; it was 8 AM.
Unhurriedly, she turned on the television and strolled over to the nightstand to set her mug down. The morning news blared from the television’s speakers while she removed her robe and threw it in the hamper inside the closet. Reaching for her sleeveless v-neck black top, she contemplated her plans for the day.

For the first time in six months, she had a week off. Most people would sleep in late and spend their time doing very little; Christiana wasn’t like most people. Gabe, (her boss at the Gazette) practically forced her to take the week off. She remembered his exact words, “Chris, you’re one of my best and you’re a great kid. But if you don’t take the next week off, you’re gone.”

The top hugged her slim shape when she sat down on her comforter to put on her black boots. Intently, she watched the morning news.

“Yesterday in Jerusalem, a school bus filled with children exploded. Twenty-five children were killed. This is the third bombing that has occurred in the past month,” the anchorwoman said. “In other news, New York man Paul Lear is being tried today for the murders of his three children back in July of 2002. Lear allegedly shot his children to death. Last night, a Cambridge woman was found dead in her home. She was brutally beaten and stabbed to death. Her husband is the prime suspect.”

"We're Forgiven"
by The Calling

Well, I would like to think
The world hasn't seen
That all the best is still to come,
And I know life ain't easy


Expressionless, she sat on the full-size bed and drank her tea. Her blue mobile phone began to vibrate on the nightstand.
“Jaden,” she said without even looking at the caller I.D. as she pressed the talk button.
“Tell me again why you don’t use your house phone?” Jaden asked.
She half smiled and answered, “Because it’s cheaper. And I’m barely home half the time.”
“Well, since this is your week off and today is your 24th birthday, I was thinking..”
“Forget about it Jaden.”
“Come on, we’ve known each other for five years and you’ve never once gotten drunk off your ass.”
She gave a little laugh. “Well, you should have given up when I wouldn’t go into that bar with you on my 21st birthday. Give it up J, I’m not a drinker.”
“Fine. At least let me take you out for dinner. Or are you against eating food as well?”
“No, smart ass. Besides, you know that I’m not into that balloons and streamers felgercarb,” she said sounding a bit annoyed.
Jaden paused before replying. “Why are you always an uber ***** on your birthday? Every year you always do this.”
“Yeah and every year you just don’t get that I hate celebrating my birthday!”
“Sorry If I just want to show my best friend how much I care about her on her birthday!”
“If you really cared, you would know by now to not make my birthday such a big deal! It’s just another gorram day!” There was a pause. “Jaden?”
“You win,” he said calmly.
“What?”
“You heard me. You’re the most stubborn person I know and you always have to win every fight.”
“Yeah, but so do you.”
“Not this time. I get it now. We get into this same fight every year and I always back down because I get tired. But now I understand.”
“Enlighten me then.”
“You won’t let me in. There’s a reason why you hate your birthday so much and you’re too afraid to tell me what it is.”
She knew that he was right and that he was getting too close to finding out. “Nice theory, but you’re not even close,” she said before gnawing on her thumbnail.
“You’re lying and right now you’re probably gnawing on your thumbnail,” he said while smiling.
She pulled her thumb away from her mouth. “What are you stalking me now?” She pursed her full lips.
“Chris, you always gnaw at your thumbnail after lying. And right now you’re pursing your lips because you know I’m right,” his voice was smug as he continued talking. “We both know how much you hate being proven wrong.”
“I’ve got some things to do today and if I keep on talking to you I won’t get them done. So, bye.” She placed her thumb on the end button.
“Chris?” He said quickly.
“Yeah?”
“One of these days, you’re going to tell me. And happy birthday.” She listened to him breathe for a few seconds before hanging up.
Sighing, she got off the bed and went into the bathroom. She grabbed her moisturizer and mint flavored lip balm from the cabinet under the sink. Generously, she massaged the moisturizer all over her slightly tanned face and neck. Then, she dipped her index finger into the lip balm and polished her luscious lips with it. Her wavy, chocolate colored tresses framed her angular face. With her hands on the cool porcelain sink, she stared at her reflection. The two almond shaped mahogany pools that were her eyes gazed back at her.
Jaden always told her that, aside from her lips, her eyes were her best feature. He also said that there was this despair and vulnerability about them that intrigued him. Of course, any man in love with his best friend will say anything to please her. Although she would never openly admit it, she agreed with him.
Casually, she exited the bathroom, turned off the television and continued her way into the living room where she yanked her wool coat off the couch before leaving the apartment.
Two boys were playing catch in the corridor adjacent to the lobby when she passed through the front doors. The unbelievable freezing winter weather kept most people indoors; at least those who had a place to call their own.
Sliding her hands into her knitted gloves, Christiana headed towards the bus stop a few feet away from the entrance of her apartment building. The deep but loud voice of a homeless man caught her attention. He sat on the concrete sidewalk and leaned against the side of her building. His dirt covered hands held out a small paper cup begging those who passed him for some change.
While shoving her hands into her pockets she approached him. Half his face was masked by a black beard and soot. Surprisingly, his coat was in decent condition but his pants, hat and shoes wore holes. She smiled as she dropped seventy-five cents into the cup. Just as she began to withdraw her hand, he reached out and gripped her wrist. They met each other’s gaze for a few seconds; he had the most beautiful hazel eyes she had ever seen in her life.
“You,” he whispered as his eyes penetrated her.
In the distance, she could hear her bus pulling up.
“I-I have to go,” she said trying to keep her voice calm as she pulled away from him.

I pass them sleeping on the streets
Their bloodstained hands and dirty feet
And I can't ignore them
Any more than I already have



She gave him a quick glance before stepping into the bus. It pained her to see him stare at her hopelessly as the bus drove away.
Pensive, she recalled the argument she had with Jaden earlier. He sounded very determined to find out her real hatred towards her birthday. Even though she didn’t show it, this mere fact nearly scared her to death. Revealing to him her true reason would make her vulnerable and she couldn’t allow that to happen, ever.
The opening of the doors removed her from her train of thought. Grasping the seat in front of her, she hoisted herself up and walked out of the bus.

So we laugh, and we smile
And we play our games of sweet denial
But don't tell me we're forgiven
If we hold, all our breath
If we kneel right down and just repent
You can't tell me we're forgiven
 
Boldly, she marched to the entrance of the majestic looking cathedral and opened one of its towering doors. Serenity overcame her as she paced towards the front pew. The sound of her footsteps echoed throughout the otherwise silent cathedral. Seemingly, she was the only one there.
Before kneeling down, she pulled out her blood red rosary necklace and hung it around her right index finger. She kneeled down and clasped her hands together.



Start with me
I cannot lie
When my heart doesn't follow my eyes
Turn away from all the suffering
That surrounds
Our time on this earth
For some their life has been a curse
I say I'm sorry and I should change
You know it just could be me someday

After closing her eyes she began to pray. Images from the morning news entered her mind. She prayed for those who weren’t as fortunate and blessed as she was. Around the world the innocent suffered and everyday she prayed for them. Sometimes she questioned God’s plans; it just seemed as if life was a curse for some individuals. But she has never once questioned her faith in him.

So we laugh, and we smile
and we play our games of sweet denial
But don't tell me we're forgiven
If we hold, all our breath
If we kneel right down and just repent
You can't tell me we're forgiven

Exhaling, she opened her eyes and stood up. Combing her fingers through her thick shoulder length hair, she made her way to the doors and left.
A strong wind chill welcomed her as she walked outside. Shivering, she cursed at herself for not bringing enough change for the bus or train. Speedily, she treaded for a few blocks until she arrived at her destination.
Decrepit and rundown, the abandoned two-story house was isolated from the other homes on the street. It stood atop a small hill covered in dead grass and weeds. Its windows were boarded up while the front door hung on its hinges.
For a moment, she let her eyes trace the structure of the decaying house as she paced up the walkway.
Cautiously, she entered the house and turned left into the bare living room. Beneath her thick boots the floorboards creaked. Gently, she sat down in the center of the room and rested her hand on the floor. She closed her eyes and remembered when she used to call this house her home.
Joyously, a six-year-old girl ran around a beautifully furnished living room. With a new doll in her hands, she stopped in the center of the room and plopped herself on the floor. Her little chubby hand grabbed the small comb out of the doll’s hand.
“Mrs. Liddy, I have to make you all pretty before Daddy comes home,” Christiana said as she combed the doll’s hair. “After he comes home from work, he’s gonna take me, you and Grandma out to eat. I don’t know if Mommy will come, she’s mad again today,” her eyes lowered to the floor. “What’s that?” She brought her ear to Mrs. Liddy’s mouth. “Of course he can pay for all of us!! He’s a lawyer and he helps put bad guys in jail. What’s that Mrs. Liddy? You want to dance? OK!!” She hugged Mrs. Liddy and began to spin around the room. Unintentionally, she bumped into the end table and knocked over a vase.
Chards of the porcelain vase covered the floor as she hugged Mrs. Liddy tightly. Frozen by fear, she stood there and prayed that her mother didn’t hear the vase shatter into pieces.
“Christiana!!” Her mother screamed from the kitchen.
Rapidly, her hearted pounded against her chest when she heard her mother’s footsteps approaching.
Intoxicated, her mother came into the living room and glared down at her.
“What the hell did you do this time?!” Her mother yelled before noticing the fragments of porcelain on the floor.
“It was an accident,” Christiana said timidly. Firmly, she held the doll to her chest. “I didn’t mean too.” Pools of water began to form in her eyes.
“You ungrateful little brat!” Her mother said as she gave Christiana a hard backhand to the face. “All you ever do is destroy everything!!” She slapped her face.
“I’m sorry!” She cried out. Warm tears traveled down her face as she fell to the floor.
“I can’t believe anything you say!!” Her mother said as she smacked her again.
“Mommy please stop!” She pleaded as her face burned. “Please,” she sobbed.
“You get away from her!” Her father said as he entered the room and advanced towards his wife.
“Stay out of this Tom!” His wife replied angrily.
“Christiana, go to grandma,” he said to his daughter. She nodded and ran upstairs.
“And you call yourself a father,” she sneered.
His face wore a firm expression as he stared into her eyes.
“I’ve had enough of this, of you,” he said. “Maggie, I don’t know what the hell happened to the woman I married. I look at you and I don’t see her at all. I’ve tried so hard to work through this with you. And I’m just tired of trying to save a marriage that doesn’t exist anymore. I paid for rehab, counseling..and it’s all been a waste of time. I accept that I’ve failed as a husband. But I refuse to fail as a father. Christiana doesn’t deserve this, no child does. You have one day to move out.”
She pursed her lips and said, “You Bastard. You’re just walking away because you’re not man enough to-.”
“No. This was long overdue. You’ve already ruined me but you are not going to do the same to our daughter. And if you even come near her, I’ll kill you,” his eyes pierced right through her. Without giving her a second look, he turned away and headed upstairs.
Christiana looked at him as she sat atop the stairs. The expression on her face caused him to pause. Her eyes glistened from the remaining tears that she had suppressed. They gazed at each other and knew what the other one was thinking; it was finally over.
He bent down and took her into his arms. Carefully, he set her down on her bed and held her small hand. He brushed a strand of hair behind her ear.
“Daddy?” She asked.
“Yes Sweetie?” He replied.
“Is Mommy gonna be sick forever?”
He stared into her dark brown eyes and said, “I don’t know Sweetie. She’s been sick for awhile.”
“She’s not gonna get better, is she?”
He answered by kissing her forehead. “Just remember that I love you, never forget.”
“I love you Daddy,” she said as she hugged him. He heard the doorbell and said, “Mom, could you get that?!”
“Sure!” She said as she stepped down the stairs. “Tom, you need to get down here!”
“I’m going to see who that is, you just wait here,” Tom told Christiana before leaving the room.
A policeman and two women stood in the front door and spoke to his mother.
“What’s going on?” Tom asked as his eyes traveled from his mother to the policeman.
“ Mr. Stevens, I’m officer Banks and this is Diane Higgins and Gloria Evans, they’re from Social Services,” he said. “Your mother called us earlier-.”
“Mom?” Tom said in disbelief.
“I’m so sorry, but I had to. For Christiana’s sake,” she said to her son.
“Get off of me!!” Maggie screamed as an officer took her out of the living room.
“Where’s the child?” Diane asked his mother.
“She’s upstairs,” she replied.
“Nooo!!” Tom yelled as tears welled up in his eyes.
“Daddy, what’s happening?!” Christiana cried out as Diane came down the stairs holding her. “Who are these people?!”
“You can’t do this! You can’t take her away from me she’s all I have!” Tom cried.
“Let me go!!” Christiana began hitting Diane as they passed her father. She stopped and reached out for her father. “Daddy!!” She cried hysterically as he took a hold of her gentle hand. She gazed deeply into his beautiful hazel eyes as Diane pulled her away.
Immediately, her tear filled eyes shot open. Her mouth fell opened when she remembered looking into the homeless man’s eyes.
“Dad.” She sobbed.
At once, she pulled out her mobile phone and ran out of the house. As she dialed Jaden’s number she flagged down a taxicab and spoke to him while she got into the car. Urgently, she told the driver her address and commanded him to get there as quickly as possible.

There's no way out of here
I don't want to die, and leave it all behind
Each day part of me disappears
But who am I to judge, what's been sent from above
 
Her heart sank when the cab stopped in front of her apartment building. Without paying the fare, she got out of the car and hastily ran through the crowd. A female officer prevented her from crossing the yellow tape.

“Miss, you have to stay behind the yellow tape,” the officer said.
“What happened?” Her voice cracked.
“A homeless man was hit by a car, he was killed.”
Her heart stopped.
“You have to let me through.”
“Miss-.”
“He’s my father!” She cried out before pushing the officer out of the way.
The Officer stared at her for a moment. “Let her through!” The officer yelled to the EMTs as Christiana went into the ambulance.

She sobbed hysterically as she sat next to his frail body. Gently, she gripped his cold hand and stroked his scruffy face.
“Daddy,” she whispered before the ambulance sped off.

In solitude, she sat in the waiting room of the hospital. Sighing, she clasped her hands together.
“Chris,” Jaden said from the door.
She made her way to him and wrapped her arms around his body. The last time she felt this safe, was in her father’s arms.
He brought her down to the couch and looked into her eyes.
“I um-I have no idea what to say,” he said.
“It’s all right,” she replied. There was a pause between them. “My parents are paying for his funeral,” she stared down at the bland tile floor.
“You never told me you were adopted.”
“I didn’t want you to know. My mother, she was an abusive drunk. But my father, he was my world. During one of my mother’s drunken fits, she beat me, which wasn’t unusual. He came home and saved me. I couldn’t believe it. Then… my grandma had called social services and the police. They took me away from him. It was my 6th birthday.
When I was fifteen I began searching for him. My parents were supportive about it. After they took me away, he lost his job. The law firm couldn’t afford the bad press. He still fought to get me back though, but he lost everything. He became depressed and then he went missing,” she felt the warmth of his hand wipe away her tears.
“And that’s why you became a journalist, to find him,” he said.
She nodded. “I read an article about a homeless man that was stabbed in Brookline a few years ago. The description fit him perfectly.”
“When did you realize that it was him?”
“This morning, I just saw him as another homeless man. When I gave him some change, he grabbed me and looked into my eyes. There was something familiar-almost comforting about them, but I didn’t even give it a second thought. And now,” she sobbed.
“Chris,” he took her into his arms and cradled her.
“He would have liked you,” she whispered into his ear.


It was spring; the air was cool and crisp. Their fingers were intertwined as they walked through the graveyard. Christiana turned to Jaden and smiled while they continued on their way. He replied by tightening his grip, and gave her a reassuring grin.
“There it is,” she said to him.
He let go off her hand and held her face.
“I’ll be right here if you need me,” he told her.
She nodded, “I know.”
They shared a tender kiss before withdrawing from each other.
Slowly, she went over to her father’s tombstone and kneeled down before it.
“I know that it’s been three years. But I couldn’t bring myself here until now,” she said. “Jaden and I, we’ve been married for two years now. He’s a great guy, he has a good heart, like you.” She was silent for a few moments and wiped away her tears. “I-I just wanted you know something. Even though you’re not here with me, I know you’re listening. I never stopped loving you, never. And we’ll get our second chance,” she placed her hand on the tombstone. “We will.”
She closed her eyes and felt a familiar sensation on the side of her cheek. A content smile came across her face.

The End
 
Thats so sad...I loved it, but it almost drove me to tears.
She went through a lot, and then hes really dead in the end...
But Im glad that Jaden (sp?) is there for her, and that she finally let him in.
That story was great and really well written.
I loved it
Ash
 
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