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Agent Flinkman

Discussion in 'General' started by destiny 47, May 23, 2003.

  1. destiny 47

    destiny 47 Scout

    Joined:
    May 23, 2003
    here's my story!



    Sydney sat down at the table next to Marshall and Vaughn.
    "You’re going to France to retrieve the crystal ball that is supposedly a Rambaldi artifact." Jack ordered.
    "Who is you?" Marshall asked. Marshall glanced around.
    "Sydney and Marshall." Jack said rolling his eyes.
    "Me Marshall? And Agent Bristow Sydney? Wow!" Marshall said cheerfully.
    "Anyway, look for gypsies. They will have the crystal balls. Not all of them. Only one." Jack told them. "Be ready in 15 minutes and Marshall, I mean 15 minutes." Jack said.
    "Marshall can be ready in 15 minutes!" Marshall said. Sydney giggled. Marshall turned red and walked away.

    ***

    Sydney and Marshall strolled onto the airplane. They slid their luggage above them and sat down. Sydney laid her head on her pillow and drifted off to sleep.
    "Hellooooo France! Syd! We’re here!" Marshall screamed.
     
  2. kylo4

    kylo4 Rocket Ranger

    Joined:
    Mar 12, 2003
    Location:
    Canada
    You should've written more. Also, I hate posting negative comments about peoples fanfics, but, your fanfic was moving too fast. I mean, from sitting at a table talking to already arriving in France. Sorry about those negative comments, but I hope that they help you write a little better.

    Other than that, I'd like for you to continue on with this fanfic.
    kylo4
     

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