ALIAS Mad Libs

Here's the second set of words (you didn't put in an occupation, but there were 2 nouns that worked, so I added the leftover noun from the last set).

~~~~
(Marshall goes to his desk, Sloane leads Sydney inside a boardroom.)
SLOANE: So, we needed a kinky plan. So, we brought in our best sorority girl.
(Mr. Bristow turns around.)
MR. BRISTOW: Hello, Sydney.
SLOANE: Have a laxative.
(She sits near her father.)
SLOANE: We mapped out a scenario where you would idolize the K-Directorate lab where we believe the headphones [are] being held. Jack thought -- your father thought it could be too big of a risk.
SYDNEY: Why? It sounds like the macho move.
MR. BRISTOW: Obviously, we need the headphones. Obviously, they need the waffle iron. Six hours ago I contacted K-Directorate and we settled on an arrangement. You and Ana will meet at a evil location, under cover of both agencies' security forces. Together, you'll open the waffle iron.
SYDNEY: Is this a joke?
SLOANE: As far as we know, the Directorate doesn't know the bosom was divided into two thongs. We have nothing to lose by letting them see what's inside the waffle iron.
MR. BRISTOW: This is a mental scenario. It compels both sides to adopt a jubilantly stoned course of action and humpbacked tapeworm is one of the most infertile flatulant paradigms.
SYDNEY: Assuming all players are tanned. Plus, I'm supposed to trust Joan Rivers?
SLOANE: I need to whip the advance team.
(He leaves them alone.)
MR. BRISTOW: Your first plan was marijuana.
SYDNEY: I could have handled Carrot Top.
MR. BRISTOW: Then we disagree. At least my way, you have a engorged hitchhiker.
SYDNEY: Then I guess I should jiggle.
MR. BRISTOW: It never bit my armpit.
(He gets up to leave.)
SYDNEY: Dad?
(He turns.)
SYDNEY: Before I go, just answer my question about Marshall.
MR. BRISTOW: Marshall knew I was flamboyant, it was no secret between us. He nuzzled in the inflatable chair. I never lied to you about that.
~~~~

Let me know if you enjoy it--if so, I'll look for more.
;)
 
Oh man...I'm so unreasonably amused by these things...:sideroll:

My favorite parts..
MR. BRISTOW: Then we disagree. At least my way, you have a engorged hitchhiker.
SYDNEY: Then I guess I should jiggle.

And also...
MR. BRISTOW: Marshall knew I was flamboyant, it was no secret between us. He nuzzled in the inflatable chair. I never lied to you about that.
Woo, Jack! I never would have guessed... ;)
 
3 adjectives: stinky ugly stupid
3 adverbs: madly drunkly dumbly
4 verbs: kissed licked smelled
4 nouns: bra panties moustache
2 plural nouns: cars hats
dorky celebrity: meryl streep
 
Azalea said:
Okay Darcy, here's yours! (I put your words in bold).

The mission that day had been very quirky . Sydney had already crashed a bomb and been smelled by an angry German intelligence agent. Now she was passionately running to reach her extraction point before the bed left without her. She made it, just in time, and was dirty when she saw her father already on the plane. He put down his headset and touched his pigeon nervously.
"Sydney," he said spontaneously . "There's a problem. Vaughn's got a spy stuck in his intelligence ."
"What?!" Sydney gasped in disbelief. "I thought the agency stopped the Tobey Maguire investigation."
"They did," said Jack. "But you know how enormous Vaughn is. :sideroll:
Just then, from out of nowhere, Vaughn stumbled slyly onto the plane. "I'm fine," he explained. I just had to erect some roses in the warehouse. Let's get out of here."
Sydney, relieved, threw her carrots around Vaughn and made him promise never to contemplate the Germans again.
rotflmao! that was so not planned! and yet... i'm proud of that sentence...
"But you know how enormous Vaughn is."

i also enjoyed... "He put down his headset and touched his pigeon nervously."

Bad Jack!
 
When is the next request for words, verbs, adjectives, etc. being posted? those are all so funny. Please post more. Thanks.
 
OK, I'll look for another one. I wasn't getting a lot of responses for mine, so I was wondering if I should continue . . . (Sometimes people don't appreciate my attempts at humor . . .)

I'll return with a request in a while . . .
;)
 
Here's one:

9 nouns
6 verbs
2 adverbs
1 adjective
1 celebrity

----

And if you're feeling particularly ambitious, I have one that turned out pretty long:

1 silly place name
19 nouns
15 verbs
5 adjectives
2 adverbs

----

The sillier, the better!
;)
 
Agent Stacey! said:
yeah! my words were funny! props to the reese witherspoon fan who came up with the first one. that one was far superior.

stacey.
havent been on in a while but thanks stcey.. im chanel bw; u can call me that. i loved urs though.. now to read the rest!
 
9 nouns
photo album
mirror
cellphone
teddybear
pillow
stereo system
medal
lava lamp
inflatable chair


6 verbs
wax
polish
strip
smack
clung

2 adverbs
heavenly
proudly

1 adjective
pimped-up

1 celebrity
Orlando Bloom

Hows that.....
 
Ok, I'm new.. just found this site and had to get in on the mad lib action ;) !
Here goes: (I'm honosly not perverted, i'm just trying to think of words that would be comical, i swear) :thinking:


9 nouns - Ford Focus, cat scan, yardstick, screwdriver, lighter, lipstick, toilet seat, labotomy ( i honostly forget what that is, but it sounds like a funny word lol), epidural
6 verbs - penetrate, sink, drown, taste, vibrate, dealing
2 adverbs - scantily, sheepishly
1 adjective - disproportionate
1 celebrity - Richard Simons

----

I guess I'm feeling ambitious :cool:

1 silly place name - Timbucktoo
19 nouns - slinky, wig, pink jumpsuit, supa swank sunglasses, pine tree, ferrit, warthog, litterbox, pen knife, laptop, seringe, spotlight, hedge clippers, telephone shoe, stilleto, baby picture, alias novel, Nordictrack, beaver
15 verbs - scream, kick ass, eat, play, tango, slink, mope, surf, trick or treat, jog, slither, scamper, ballet dance, belly dance, strip
5 adjectives - horney, smelly, virginal, pathetic, senseless
2 adverbs - slyly, shortly
 
I have two scenes from "Salvation." Here's the first one. (Wah, I accidentally asked for 2 adv and 1 adj, but I needed the opposite, but for the first set I got "heavenly" again as an adv--it's an adj--so it worked out; I had to supply an extra verb--random from the dictionary)

(In another inflatable chair, Jack uncaps his lava lamp.)
JACK: Please try to understand what I'm about to tell you, Sydney. After your mother left, I tested Project Stereo System on you because I didn't want you to be a pillow. I thought it was my responsibility to teach you how to wax proudly, to see through people's photo albums, to be as heavenly as you could be in an environment where one cellphone could cost you your medal.
SYDNEY: Then you should've clung before I ended up pimped-up.
JACK: Yes, you're right! I never intended you to strip. I imagined recruiting you into the CIA after you polished the mirror. But Orlando Bloom got to you first, and that is a teddybear I will never live down.
SYDNEY: I'd like to smack you, but I don't trust anything you mop.
(She caps his lava lamp and leaves.)

~~~~

Second set of words (sheepishly changed "sheepishly" to "sheepish"):

(In another Ford Focus, Jack uncaps his lipstick.)
JACK: Please try to understand what I'm about to tell you, Sydney. After your mother left, I tested Project Labotomy on you because I didn't want you to be a lighter. I thought it was my responsibility to teach you how to vibrate scantily, to see through people's cat scans, to be as sheepish as you could be in an environment where one epidural could cost you your toilet seat.
SYDNEY: Then you should've penetrated before I ended up disproportionate.
JACK: Yes, you're right! I never intended you to sink. I imagined recruiting you into the CIA after you dealt yardsticks. But Richard Simmons got to you first, and that is a screwdriver I will never live down.
SYDNEY: I'd like to taste you, but I don't trust anything you drown.
(She caps his lipstick and leaves.)

~~~~

Having come up with an interesting phrase (Pyrrhic victory) when going after the verb, I tried for a dictionary-stab version, and came up with the following:

(In another psychoanalysis, Jack uncaps his jetsam.)
JACK: Please try to understand what I'm about to tell you, Sydney. After your mother left, I tested Project Pyrrhic Victory on you because I didn't want you to be a carcass. I thought it was my responsibility to teach you how to captivate tubularly, to see through people's carbon monoxide, to be as awesome as you could be in an environment where one lawmaker could cost you your feet of clay.
SYDNEY: Then you should've translated before I ended up transsexual.
JACK: Yes, you're right! I never intended you to flounce. I imagined recruiting you into the CIA after you suffocated the anteater. But River Phoenix got to you first, and that is a predisposition I will never live down.
SYDNEY: I'd like to elevate you, but I don't trust anything you understate.
(She caps his jetsam and leaves.)

~~~~

I hope you find these amusing!
;)
 
Again, from "Salvation," the ambitious piece:

~~~~

(Plane heading to Timbuctu. Sydney looks over some wigs. Jack sits at the back of the plane, screaming on a telephone shoe. He looks over at Sydney, throws down his telephone shoe and gets up to sit across from her.)
JACK: I see your mother's latest spotlight had its intended effect on you.
SYDNEY: What spotlight would that be?
JACK: Trick-or-treating, accepting the smelly pink jumpsuit.
SYDNEY: Yep. She's got us right where she wants us.
JACK: Not us. You. Your mother's no fool. She must have deduced I kicked her ass, so why do you imagine she trick-or-treated? Because she was struck by a crisis of Slinkys?
SYDNEY: I think she knew the stiletto was a pathetic syringe.
JACK: She trick-or-treated to keep you from surfing her laptop, Sydney, from having you see NordicTracks of the penknifes she savagely murdered, including Vaughn's hedgeclippers. She knew if you sat through that, whatever sympathy she'd managed to elicit from you would vanish, so she cast herself as the warthog to compel you to slink and guess what? You fell for it.
(He reaches into his litterbox and tosses Sydney's folded up baby pictures on her table.)
JACK: I thought you deserved a second chance to think things over. Here's your baby pictures.
SYDNEY: How'd you get that?
JACK: I spent a decade with this beaver and another twenty years analyzing how she could have stripped me for so long. Trust me when I tell you, I am moping.
SYDNEY: No, you're not. I think you tangoed with Mom so much that when she scampered, you lost your supa swank sunglasses. You know what else I think? I think the kind of man who'd use his own daughter to play her mother, who'd test senseless Alias novels on her when she was six years old is the kind of man who looks at his daughter and sees his virginal ferret.
(Jack's eyes fill up with tears.)
JACK: You can't slyly believe that.
SYDNEY: It's true, isn't it? If Mom hadn't bellydanced for you, if you hadn't been so horny, I never would have danced ballet. I'm going to finish jogging around the pine tree now.
(He goes back to his seat.)

~~~~

Next I'm off to find Syd/Vaughn or Syd/Irina . . .
;)
 
Those are hilarious! Every single one of them!! :rotflmao: My mom keeps yelling from downstairs, "What? What's so funny up there?" How can I explain? :D
 
verdantheart said:
I think the kind of man who'd use his own daughter to play her mother, who'd test senseless Alias novels on her when she was six years old is the kind of man who looks at his daughter and sees his virginal ferret.

SYDNEY: It's true, isn't it? If Mom hadn't bellydanced for you, if you hadn't been so horny, I never would have danced ballet. :sideroll: I'm going to finish jogging around the pine tree now.
Oh wow this is so fun! I totally love this! :lol: I'm So glad my parents aren't in here right now, because i was laughing so hard reading those... I don't think I could explain to them exactly why i was laughing... they just wouldn't understand!
 
Since people seem to be enjoying these how about:

11 nouns
2 celebrities
6 adjectives
1 adverbs
6 verbs (include some transitive verbs--things you do to other things, like strangle)

Have fun!
;)
 
11 nouns- dog, highlighter, wreath, headphones, poop, toilet, hair dryer, penis, tree, band-aid, pillow

2 celebrities-Reese Witherspoon, Bob Barker

6 adjectives- smelly, yellow, tiny, hot, hard, loud

1 adverbs-quickly

6 verbs (include some transitive verbs--things you do to other things, like strangle)-bang, sit on, crush, pull, screw, hurt

Thanks to my sister for helping me think of some of these words. :D
 
You really are trying to get me in trouble, aren't you?! Well, here goes:

~~~~
From "A Dark Turn":
SYDNEY: Are you sitting on poop?
VAUGHN: What?
SYDNEY: Answer the question.
VAUGHN: I'm sure I am. We just started screwing. Of course there are highlighters that I don't feel hard --
SYDNEY: No, that's not -- I'm not talking about us.
VAUGHN: What, headphones then? Yeah. There are loud hairdryers, under trees, that I'm not hurt to bang about with Reese Witherspoon.
SYDNEY: And that's it?
VAUGHN: Look, there is something you don't pull about me. I don't like it when people crush my penis. It makes me hot.
SYDNEY: This isn't about your penis. I never said anything about your penis.
VAUGHN: When you ask me if I'm sitting on poop, the suggestion's pretty yellow.
SYDNEY: And you know what? Poop will be a wreath between us. After everything we've been through, you should know that.
(He takes out the tiny toilet from his jacket pocket and opens it. He takes out a band-aid.)
VAUGHN: This is the band-aid of my dog. I was going to give it to you tonight over pillows. Quickly, a smelly move.
SYDNEY: Vaughn...
VAUGHN: Bob Barker's waiting for me.
~~~~
Or, alternately:
SYDNEY: Are you sitting on a wreath?
VAUGHN: What?
SYDNEY: Answer the question.
VAUGHN: I'm sure I am. We just started screwing. Of course there are highlighters that I don't feel hard --
SYDNEY: No, that's not -- I'm not talking about us.
VAUGHN: What, headphones then? Yeah. There are loud hairdryers, under trees, that I'm not hurt to bang about with Reese Witherspoon.
SYDNEY: And that's it?
VAUGHN: Look, there is something you don't pull about me. I don't like it when people crush my penis. It makes me hot.
SYDNEY: This isn't about your penis. I never said anything about your penis.
VAUGHN: When you ask me if I'm sitting on a wreath, the suggestion's pretty yellow.
SYDNEY: And you know what? Wreaths will be a band-aid between us. After everything we've been through, you should know that.
(He takes out the tiny toilet from his jacket pocket and opens it. He takes out poop.)
VAUGHN: This is the poop of my dog. I was going to give it to you tonight over pillows. Quickly, a smelly move.
SYDNEY: Vaughn...
VAUGHN: Bob Barker's waiting for me.
~~~~
:o_O: :blush:
 
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