Does anyone have abusive parents?

IT IS NOT YOUR FAULT JO!!!!!!!!!!!! never think it is....And come on i know you are strong you hit your mom...i am soooo proud of you.....i love when ppl stand up for their rights....how can it be your fault....belieive me i kno it is not so dont blame it on yourself...anyway I am proud of you whther or not you do share ....persoanlly that is not the most important thing....the most important thing to me is that you guys would not throw your life away for nothing!!!!!!!!
 
:angelic: I think the most important thing we all have to remember is that just because our circumstances really hurt to think about sometimes, doesn't mean we can allow all the bad stuff in our lives to take over.

I heard this once and have never forgotten it.


<span style='font-size:14pt;line-height:100%'>"Don't let your circumstances become your excuses." </span>

I think that's the most important thing. :angelic:
 
liberty47 said:
<span style='font-size:8pt;line-height:100%'> :angelic: I guess I just wanted to thank-you all so much for all your support, I didn't realise people could be so understanding, I really didn't. So, thank-you so much.

As I continue reading all your stories I’ve begun to realize it really isn't just me, this is a reality for many people that they face everyday.

I'm about to ask you all something that I’ve had on my mind since I can remember, I’m not sure if there's even an answer but here goes, 'why or what do you think it is that causes parents to act this way?' I mean for me, my greatest fear will be that I’ll turn out like my mother, there I said it. So, I want to try and understand what it is, so I can be aware of it.

Anyhow, I guess I just wanted to thank-you all for saying you'll be there. I understand that when we tell our stories we probably leave a good chunk out, I know I do. Maybe it’s too hard to talk about, or maybe you just don't want to remember, I think I’m beginning to understand that. I wanted to tell anyone and everyone reading that it's alright to speak up on this forum. I have got my own problems, so I might be a little opinionated at times, but if you want to talk, I’m always here to listen.

Thanks for everyone’s support, it means a lot. :angelic:
</span>
First of all, if you haven't already met me, I'm Mandi and I'm 14. My entire life, my parents never abused me, I mean for disiplinary reasons I would get spanked. You know when I did something bad or was being too loud or something. And yes, a few times I was hit with a wooden cooking spoon because it was the closest thing around. Yes, it hurt, and yes, I cried, but I don't believe my parents were trying to abuse me, just teach me a lesson. They don't do it anymore, because since I'm older I don't really get into trouble anymore. but to this day when we look back on it they still say that it hurt them more than it hurt me. And I have to say that until I heard what Jo just said, I took everything in life for granted. All the times we ate together as an entire family, all the happy holidays we shared, family vacations, going shopping all day just me and my mom, and staying up late watching movie with my dad that we only share a love for. Yes, I always tell them I love them, everytime they leave the house. But I always took the simple things for granted. I guess before I start I just want to apologize for that and to say that I don't feel like that anymore.

liberty, after listening to your story, I was touched and I think it helped me understand you better as a person. Your caring, your loving, and your just an innocent person standing around getting tormented because of your mother's insecurities. That's really what I think causes it, insecurities. You didn't do anything wrong. Maybe your mother doesn't feel good enough about herslelf and she knows that she has control over you, and she hits you and treats you this way to boost her own self esteem. It might make her feel more powerful, like she's in charge. If her life is going badly, maybe it makes her feel like she is in control of something. I don't know if that's right or not, but that's just what I think.

And one other thing: After hearing your story and the way you told it, I can assure you that you will NEVER become your mother. Just remember who you are, and even when things are going bad, make the best of everything. The only other thing that I can say is to trust in God. If know one else is your friend, he will be. God is always there for you, always. He's everywhere you go. Pray. Prayer possesses the greatest power against everything evil in life. And even though you think no one hears your prayers, God does. And when you feel like no one loves you, God loves you. He loves you so much that he sent his only son to die on a cross for you. And remember that I love you all too. And if you need to talk I'm here. I'm sorry if I'm sharing a little too much, you know, my story and my religion and all. But my love for God is what has kept me going when things get hard. God Bless You All!
 
liberty47 said:
I'm really not sure if any of this classifies as any sort of abuse, I’m not writing this to complain, but rather as a message to anyone and everyone who's ever been physically, emotionally or psychologically abused or put down in anyway.
Since no one has said it: yes, it does.

I am old enough to be a mother, but I am not one--and one of the reasons (other than some health ones) is that I didn't think I'd be very good at it. And then I hear things like this. It makes me sad.
:(

My own parents weren't perfect, but they weren't abusive--if anything, they were a bit uninvolved . . . But I consider myself very lucky.

Hang in there! Everybody.
 
:angelic: OMG, I didn't realise how much someone could care. This is kind of embarrassing but after reading what Verdantheart and Aliasgirl47 wrote I literally have tears running down my cheeks. Thank-you so much, I can't even find the words to write, I'm not really sure of what to say. After reading what you all wrote I realised nobody has ever really listened to me before, I guess I just didn't really understand how incredible that is. I mean, having someone actually listen to what you have to say, like they respect what you have say and they really listen not just nod and mumble or yell at you for something before you get a chance to speak. I can't begin to tell you all how much that really does mean to me. Ok, my hands are shaking. I really want to tell you all how much this means to me. I’ve never experienced anything like this, I feel valued, thank-you so much. You've all given me Hope, something that nobody else ever has.

I have to be honest with you all, when I started with this forum I was a little skeptical of the point, but now I can't believe I ever doubted it. Thank-you again for your advice, it lets me know I’m not going crazy and I’m not just being stupid or making a big deal out of nothing. I’m just so grateful for your responses to my story. :angelic:
 
liberty47 said:
:angelic: OMG, I didn't realise how much someone could care. This is kind of embarrassing but after reading what Verdantheart and Aliasgirl47 wrote I literally have tears running down my cheeks.
Well, your story made me cry too, so your not the only one
 
I just stumbled across this thread...the topic kinda caught my eye...anyway I just wanted to say after reading everything, that it's made me appreciate my parents more because they're not perfect, neither is any one on this planet but they're okay, they're good parents.

Reading this has also left me in complete admiration for all of you who are dealing or have dealt with that and are sane and are not letting it define who you are now. The topic also caught my attention because my friend has been free from his mum's abusive boyfriend for over a year now and while his mum ( the main object of the as well call him, "devil spawn's" wrath) has made peace with it, he's still had issues with it, which is completely justified but the thing that I really admire about him is the fact that like many of you, he doesn't let it define who he is and along this journey with him, I mean I was mad and angry because so powerless I've learnt a few things, as the person watching on the sidelines from him and his mother:

1. Those who hurt you in the past cannot continue to hurt you unless you hold on to the pain. Your past is your past. Nothing will change it. Learn from it and then let it go.

2. Everything is okay in the end. If it's not okay, it's not the end. ( She said this to me once, which just blew me away because it applies to not only her situation but has to apply to everything in my life)

I thought that I'd share that.

later
 
Aliasgirl47 said:
Well, we're like a family here. We all contribute our thoughts and ideas and support and care for each other. it's really great!
*starts singing* "we are family......"

just had to do that.
 
alias_fan said:
Aliasgirl47 said:
Well, we're like a family here. We all contribute our thoughts and ideas and support and care for each other. it's really great!
*starts singing* "we are family......"

just had to do that.
It's true really. I feel like this community is my family, you guys are all so nice and don't throw things at me when I walk in the room (or the topic/thread whatever :rolleyes: )

And liberty47, a lot of people care, even if they don't know you! Heck, I met people on this site who cared and I didn't even know them! It's safe to say, I believe, that the whole site cares about every single person on here. :smiley:
 
Yeah, we have a lot of different opinions, but we all still care for and support each other. And when we thought Jo had died and when Ally almost died, I think it probably brought us closer together.
 
Yes, Mandi. It did bring us closer together. We are one big Alias loving family.

I've read everything that I missed and liberty47, like Jo says, everyone here cares. I don't know you and I still care. Like Mandi says, you can't be your mother. Just listen to this, you can't be ANYONE but yourself, you can be anything YOU want to be.

Everyone, remember this: Everything bad your parents has done it will always end up coming back to them.

O, don't let my age bother you with everything I've said on here.

~Erika
 
I agree, i think it did bring us closer together. Since then I have realized how much my friends on here mean to me, and I think I have grown closer with them. Much to my parents dismay...
 
Oh man...You guys. I love you all so much. You mean more to me than anything...Im crying like a baby right now. I read this and I went to go look at my memory box full of me and my family...then I wrote my parents a 3 page letter on how much I love them. Thank you guys. I love all of you so much! Especially you Jo...you are my best friend in the whole world and I know things will start looking up for you! I would do anything just so you wouldnt have to feel one ounce of sadness or pain. I love you so so much jo...I cant say it enough!! all of you...If I could I would come and take all your pain away. I dont want you guys to have to go through it. Oh gosh...my hands are shaking like crazy...i need to lay down or something...im so emotional...stay strong...I wish you guys the best life in the whole entire world. You all deserve it!
 
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