Feels like coming home

THANKS SO MUCH for the reviews, guys. :D :D Here's chapter 5. Hope you like it.


Chapter 5.

Vaughn rubbed his eyes, and shook his head to refuse the drink the airhostess offered him. The sky outside the plan was dark, punctuated by thin purplish clouds here and there. He could hear Ailish crying inside his head, could see her begging for him to stay. He could see Sydney’s look, one that had matched his own.

He remembered when he had been transferred. By his own request. A request that he now greatly regretted. How long had it been, six, seven months? Seemed like forever. Ailish hadn’t cried, or looked upset when he and Sydney sat her down to tell her, with carefully chosen words, that he was going to France. She had rambled about the plane, and the birds, and how the plane was a bird, and how the other birds were afraid of the plane because he was a big bird… She had hugged him and said goodbye, like it was no big deal.

He came back to visit about three weeks later. And Ailish had refused to talk to him. She wouldn’t look him in the face; she would ignore his pleas, she would hide behind her mother’s legs every time Vaughn approached. Because, in her mind, Vaughn had abandoned her. She had assumed he would go to France and come back the next day to pick her up at the daycare center. But he hadn’t. And he hadn’t visited(dropped by) on the next day, or the day after that.

Vaughn had put in a considerable amount of work to make her understand that going to France wasn’t like going to the office there at L.A. He showed her a map, and pointed out where he was and where she was, and explained why he couldn’t go from one place to the other every day. He assured her, multiple times, that he hadn’t abandoned her, and that he never would. Slowly, carefully, Ailish started to understand, and they were able to go back to what they were.

But, although she understood, every time he visited and had to go back again, she would cry. Sometimes she tried to hide it, sometimes she did it open and wide, for the whole world to see, and sometimes she just curled up in a corner and refused to get out of there.

And every time she cried Vaughn felt a wave of sadness and guilt overcome him.

He rubbed his eyes again.

There was Sydney too. He wouldn’t be able to visit them again for God knew how long. How exactly did he plan to survive without seeing her for so long? Months, without seeing her face, the way her eyes sparkled when she laughed, how they would go to the movies and chat quietly throughout it, so they couldn’t even tell what the movie was about when it was over.

God, he had it bad for her.

Not that this was anything new. He’d always had. That was mostly the reason why he had asked for his transference. It was starting to hurt. The whishing, the longing… they were overpowering him in a way he thought it was impossible. He didn’t know a man could be so controlled by his feelings. His heart ached every time he saw her, and things had got to a point where he simply couldn’t bear it anymore. So he had run away. Cowardice, maybe, but the only solution he had came up with.

He had no hopes of getting over her. The thought was too ridiculous for him ever to formulate. His love for Sydney came from a long way back, and he knew there was nothing he could do to make it go away. However, he had hoped he would be able to get hold of himself with the distance.

And he actually had. He still loved her, and he still longed for her, but he managed to keep those feelings locked inside of him. She was his friend, and he loved and treated her as such. It was better that way.

It was safer that way…

*-*-*-*

“Mommy, when will Uncle Michael be back?”

“I don’t know, honey. Uncle Michael is really busy; he has to work. I don’t know when he’ll be able to visit us again.”

“No, not visit. When will he be back, for good?”

“Oh…” Sydney looked down, and starting to smooth down her daughter’s quilt. “I don’t know, honey. Things are working out fine for him there at France.”

Ailish looked suspiciously at her mother, considering something she hadn’t thought about before.

“Mommy, he will be back, right?”

Sydney didn’t answer. She got up, and started to put the toys scattered around the floor into their places.

“Mommy?” Ailish insisted.

“Aili, Uncle Michael has his own life. We can’t expect him to be around forever.”

Ailish’s eyes grew bigger, and her face showed a mix of shock and instantaneous sadness.

“But… he has to be…” she said, sounding slightly frightened. “He has to be my daddy.”

Sydney rushed to her daughter, who looked dangerously close to crying, instantly regretting approaching the subject in such a bad hour.

“Honey, you already have a daddy.” Sydney embraced her daughter, trying, and failing, to think of anything she could say that would make things better.

“But he’s an angel, mommy. And the angels are really busy there at Heaven, because they have to take care of every kid in the world. I need a real daddy. An Earth daddy.”

Sydney swallowed down hard.

“Well, maybe he’ll be back someday.” Sydney said, as she kissed Ailish’s cheek, and made her lie down again. “Which doesn’t mean that he and mommy will get married.” She hurried to add. There was no point in putting Ailish’s hopes up. It would only make the fall bigger.

“But maybe you will.”

Sydney turned off the lamp, and got up.

“Yeah, who knows,” She whispered. “Maybe we will.”

*-*-*-*

Sydney’s dream was one of memories. Sweet memories, ones she cherished deeply. And Vaughn was part of every one of them.

--

”Syd, is everything ok?” his voice was full of concern, and Sydney felt slightly guilty.

“Yeeah… It’s just…” She sighed, and decided she could very well say it at once. “I need watermelons.”

There was silence on the other side of the line.

“What?”

“Watermelons. Must have them.”

“Do you know what time is it?”

“No, fuzzy vision... all blurry.”

“Sydney, it’s three in the morning!”

“Oh… you think there are no supermarkets opened at this time?”

“I think my eyes aren’t opened at this time.”

“You said I could call if I needed anything.”

“’Anything’ does not involve watermelons.”

“What do you have against watermelons?”

She could hear Vaughn take a deep breath, and then sigh.

“I’ll go buy the damn watermelons.”

“My hero.”

“I want the child to be named after me.”

“Sure. And we’ll have an altar to worship you. And the watermelons, of course.”

Vaughn couldn’t help but laugh.

“I’ll be right there.”

----

“So, basically, or I get the reports ready by Thursday, or Kendall will have my head cut off.”

“A disgrace to the human kind.”

“What?”

“Your head being cut off. You have such a pretty head.”

“That was the weirdest compliment I ever got.”

“I prefer to be original.”

“That’s a statement I won’t refute.”

“Do you- Oh my God, Vaughn, look, she’s walking.”

They rushed to baby Ailish, wobbling on her feet, trying to reach a bright yellow cube that was over the table.

“She’s walking.”

And he had been there to see it.

-----

”Come on, Syd, let’s go.”

“Can’t we stay just a little longer, to make sure she’ll be fine?”

“She’ll be just fine. She’s already making new friends, look.”

“She’s too young.”

“She’s smart, she’ll do wonderfully.”

“I only started school at age five.”

“And you always told me that you had wanted to start earlier.”

“I don’t know what I was thinking. She’s just a baby.”

“Sydney.”

“Vaughn, she didn’t even turn three yet.”

“Some kids start ever earlier than that.”

“Some kids, not my kid.”

“Come on, I’ll give you a ride to school.”

“I don’t want to go.”

“Your students are waiting for you.”

“My students are not two-year-olds abandoned by their mothers.”

He dragged her through the halls painted in bright cheerful colors, ignoring her muttering.

“You are not abandoning her. You’re allowing her to get a good education, so she will be just as smart as her mother.”

“I hate you. No flattering will change that.”

“Alright.”

“She’ll hate me.”

“No, she won’t.”

“Yeah, she will. She will never look in my face again.”

“Are you listening to what you’re saying?”

“Not exactly. I think I’m slightly hysterical today.”

“Really? I hadn’t noticed that.”

“Do former CIA agents have the right to be hysterical?”

“Just when it’s their daughter’s first day at school.”

“Good. Then, yeah, I’m hysterical.”

“Glad you admit it.”

“Aren’t you feeling in the least guilty for leaving her here like that?”

“No… Alright, yes. I’m dying inside, and the bigger part of me just wants to turn around, grab her and take her home. But the other part of me, the one that’s making you get inside the car just now, knows that you’re doing the best for her, and that we should let her grow up.”

“I don’t want her to grow up.”

“I know. Me neither.”

“Isn’t there anything we can do about it?”

“Nothing that I’m aware of. But if Peter Pan shows up at my door, I’ll let you know.”

“Vaughn, thanks… for coming with me today.”

“I couldn’t not come.”

“I know you have work to do.”

“Work, unfortunately, won’t go anywhere.”

“Alright, stop making excuses and just accept my thanks.”

He smiled.

“You’re welcome.”

-----

“Why the fishes don’t have feet?”

Vaughn sighed. There they went again.

“Because they live under the water and don’t need to walk.”

“Why?”

“Because they move better swimming.”

“Why?”

“Because they are made for that.”

“Why?”

“Should I explain the theory of evolution to a three-year-old or should say ‘I don’t know’?” he whispered to Sydney, who was watching everything with an amused expression on her face.

“I’d go with the ‘I don’t know.’” She whispered back.

“I don’t know, honey.”

“Why?”

“Because I have limited knowledge.”

“Why?”

“Because I’m human.”

“Why?”

“Because God wanted this way.”

“Why?”

“Why don’t you ask mommy?”

“Mommy, why?”

“Because God thought he would look better as a human than as a monkey.”

Ailish giggled.

“A monkey…” She repeated, and fell into another fit of giggles.

Vaughn used the momentary distraction of the child to change the subject to a safer ground.

He knew the incessant questions phase happened with every child, and that it was necessary to the child’s growth and development, but God, it was annoying.

Sydney smiled at him, and he made a face, but ended up smiling back.

“A monkey…” Ailish said again, and started to laugh once more.


-----

“Mommy, mommy…”

Sydney opened her eyes, seeing only the silhouette of her daughter leaning in front of her. It was still dark, she realized, looking to the lengthy shadows of the furniture on the bedroom floor.

“What is it, honey?”

“Can I sleep with you?”

“Why don’t you sleep at your own room?”

“Because…” The girl stopped, and furrowed her brow in concentration. There had to be a reason why she couldn’t sleep. She just couldn’t remember.

“Never mind.” Sydney said, shaking her head and pulling the girl to the bed. Ailish snuggled against her, smiling contently.

“I love you, mommy.” She said, and hugged Sydney in pure childlike adoration.

“I love you too, sweetie.” Sydney pulled the quilt to cover Ailish. “Now, let’s sleep, alright? We both have school tomorrow.”

“Alright. Goodnight.”

“Goodnight, baby.”

*-*-*-*
 
ahhhhh this is so amazing good job!!!!!!!!! please more soon!!!!!!! its wonderfully fantastically amazing!!!!!!!! cry laugh smile
 
awww so sad....<=(....awww why did u have to leave uncle michael? why?......post more soon....<=(....so sad....
 
I love this story. It is sad in a way but I still love this story. I'm telling you that when I read a story I may like it but this... I LOVE it.
 
its so sweet!
i hadnt read ur story when i voted in the fan fic poll but now i wish i could!
i almost cried and i hardly ever cry!
ukaliaschick (y) (n)
 
:eek: Oh my God! I love your story! You're such a good writer. Pleeeeaaaaaaaaseee make Vaughn come back! I love it when Syd and Vaughn are together! You have to write more soon! I don't have any patience!!

~Shammi~ :love:
 

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