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I'm bad at fanfic names - help!

Discussion in 'Creative Writing & Arts' started by AliasFreak24, May 23, 2003.

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  1. AliasFreak24

    AliasFreak24 Rocket Ranger

    Joined:
    May 14, 2003
    Location:
    You wish you knew.
    This is my first official fanfic and I would appreciate ANY comments. Thanks! I’ve planned out the first 5 chapters and if you guys like it I’ll continue.

    Takes place after ‘Countdown’ and before ‘Second Double’. Takes place as if ‘Second Double’ and ‘The Telling’ never took place. (A.U. I guess then?)

    S/V Romance, Action (not THAT kind of action!), suspense, etc. etc.

    Also, I don’t own Alias or anything or anyone related Do not sue! – I just love it!
    I’d like to thank my buddy Chayle for telling me about Alias – I wouldn’t be here without her!
    Also Thanks to all the great writers of the GREAT fanfics on this site that influenced me to write my own!
    Okay, here goes....

    Chapter 1:

    RING, RING! The phone went off; Sydney’s phone. She got out of bed and reached for it, taking as few steps as she could.

    “Okay, I’ll come in. I’ll see you soon.” She said and hung up the phone. She walked back to her bed and climbed in, noticing the clock as she fell back into her slumber. It was 8:24.

    “Let me guess…” a voice beside her started, “you have to go in on your only day off this MONTH!”

    “Yeah, you guessed right. And guess what else? You have to come in too!” she said and laughed, pointing a finger in his face.

    “Boo!!! This stinks. It better be important. If it’s not, I’m coming home and you’re coming with me.” Vaughn said as he got up, taking his sweet time. He went into the bathroom and Sydney got up and soon followed.

    About a half an hour later, Sydney and Vaughn reached the CIA Ops Centre and went inside. They were told to go into the Briefing Room, except when they got there, there was no one inside. They sat down anyways.

    “I wonder what this is about.” Vaughn said breaking the silence that was occupied by thought.

    The door is opened. A man walks in. “Miss Bristow? I’ve been told to tell you that the medics have noticed something on your recent medical tests. Could you come with me?” he said and Sydney looked puzzled. She stood up and walked out and was able to briefly see the worried expression on Vaughn’s face.

    About twenty minutes later Sydney returned to the Briefing Room to find Vaughn still sitting in the same chair in deep thought. She came in and stood a few steps away from Vaughn. They stood silent for about 2 seconds and then Vaughn piped up, “What’s going on? What did they tell you?”

    “The doctors game me some…” she paused, “news; surprising and unexpected news.”
    “What?” he said anxiously.

    “Vaughn………….I’m pregnant.”




    Okay...so now it's YOUR turn. Any comments would be great and I should have the next chapter up as soon as I can or as soon as anyone requests it-probably tomorrow morning-I know-Cliffhangers!
     
  2. feeling_like_a_spy

    feeling_like_a_spy Rocket Ranger

    Joined:
    May 9, 2003
    Location:
    places..
    I like it! write more! :D
     
  3. nancee

    nancee Rocket Ranger

    Joined:
    Feb 26, 2003
    Location:
    from da hood
    uhhhhhhhhhh okee....its kinda unexpected but....okee
     
  4. *SPYnish*

    *SPYnish* Rocket Ranger

    Joined:
    Mar 16, 2003
    Location:
    SPAIN
    Interesting. Write more please :woot:
     
  5. Ames47

    Ames47 Amy Strikes Back

    Joined:
    Mar 31, 2003
    Location:
    the outskirts of HELL
    aww i like and it puts me in a good mood after reading some very upsetting rumors concerning the ring on vaughns finger!! :( ok you so have to continue!! :D
     
  6. kylo4

    kylo4 Rocket Ranger

    Joined:
    Mar 12, 2003
    Location:
    Canada
    Yah, I agree with everybody else. Unexpected, but good. Please write some more, cause I'll be waiting for it. Lol.
    kylo4
     
  7. AliasFreak24

    AliasFreak24 Rocket Ranger

    Joined:
    May 14, 2003
    Location:
    You wish you knew.
    I'm writing it right now. I may have it up tonite.

    Thanks for the quick replies! I know its unexpected but thats totally the point! eh? Believe me, I only write fics that are realistic. It gets better. I hope...cks
     
  8. aliaschick4mv

    aliaschick4mv Rocket Ranger

    Joined:
    Feb 26, 2003
    Location:
    East Coast
    Hmmm... interesting. Its moving a bit fast, but you said you only write fics that are realistic, so I'll put my faith in you. Since JJ just killed it. BUT I STILL HAVE FAITH!! :points to avatar: Will not change that until I HAVE MY PROOF!!! AND UNTIL I FIND SOMEONE I LIKE BETTER!!! NEVER GIVE UP!!!
     
  9. hum... interesting.... maybe try to take some more time on describing their emotions or actions. but other than that i like the plot, keep it up :D
    --Mandy :angelic:
     
  10. AliasFreak24

    AliasFreak24 Rocket Ranger

    Joined:
    May 14, 2003
    Location:
    You wish you knew.
    About the pregnancy thing, it doesn’t have A LOT to do with the main plot which will be introduced in this chapter, but I felt like putting it in because I love stuff like that. Don’t worry it’s not a totally Fluff story – it just started as one.

    Chapter 2:


    “Irina, can you come here for a minute, I need to tell you something.” Sloane yelled to her.

    “Yes” she answered.

    “We’re going to be giving the CIA a gift soon and I wondered if you’d like to do the honors.” He said as he typed up an address on an e-mail.

    “Of course I would.” She said confidently as she typed a few things on the keyboard. “There.”

    “Good. Let’s hope they read it soon.” Sloane said and took the keyboard back.

    “Oh, I’m sure they will and I’m sure everything will go as planned.” She said and walked away.

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    “Vaughn………I’m pregnant.”
    Sydney said smiling.

    “What!” Vaughn screamed as he jumped from his chair. He had a huge smile on his face. “Wow. I mean, what a …..I’m shocked!” he finally finished.

    “I was shocked too!” Sydney said coming closer to him.

    “Wait, you’re happy about this right?” Vaughn asked, concerned.

    “Of course I am! Are you kidding?” she said happily.

    Just then an Agent came into the Briefing Room and told them a meeting was about to begin.

    “Okay.” Sydney told the agent and then turned to Vaughn. “Can we keep this to ourselves for a couple days?”

    “Yes, of course.” Vaughn agreed and they went into the (other I guess) Briefing Room. Jack and Kendall were there.

    “We called you both here to tell you we received some Intel from an anonymous source earlier today. It gives the location of Arvin Sloane and Irina Derevko.” Jack said. Sydney and Vaughn were shocked. It took a few seconds for Sydney to speak.

    “Where are they then?”

    “They’re in Germany.” Kendall said. “You two will head a team to Germany tomorrow.”

    “How can we be sure about this source? You said it was anonymous. How can we trust it to be real? Can’t it be a set-up?” Vaughn asked.

    “That’s been considered, of course, but reports have surfaced of strange activity in the region specified and we spoke with local arms dealers who say that Sloane and Derevko have been there. Besides, it’s our best lead, why not? Got any better ideas?” Kendall said.

    “No, of course not” with that they got up and left. Jack stayed behind to talk to Sydney.

    “Sydney, why did you go to the medical wing?” he asked.

    Sydney’s eyes widened. “Oh, no reason really, just to ask when my check-up is.”

    “Oh, okay then .See you tomorrow.” He said and left.

    Sydney walked up to Vaughn and hugged him. They left out the back door hand in hand.


    Sorry it’s short but I got it done. I just read that you think (aliaschick4mv) it’s moving too fast. I totally agree and have taken that into account. I do read and consider EVERY reply. Any suggestions will be greatly appreciated, not just on the plot, etc. but on anything. If something isn’t working, seriously tell me about it. Plus, if you want something to happen, you can tell me about that too! Don’t hesitate at all; it makes me a better writer. (Like I’m good to begin with hehehe) If you still think it's moving too fast, give me some suggestions or examples how i can make it better cause i cant!
    thanks....cks
     
  11. xdancer

    xdancer Rocket Ranger

    Joined:
    May 2, 2003
    Location:
    North Carolina
    Interesting plot, but isn't it kind of dangerous for her to be going on a mission when she's pregnant, I mean for the baby anyway. Just a thought. Keep going!
     
  12. girlincognito

    girlincognito Captain

    Joined:
    Mar 8, 2003
    Ok I am loving this alot! Keep it up!
     
  13. liliana

    liliana Rocket Ranger

    Joined:
    Jan 8, 2003
    Location:
    South Africa
    interesting i like it it's a great story can't wait for more
     
  14. Ames47

    Ames47 Amy Strikes Back

    Joined:
    Mar 31, 2003
    Location:
    the outskirts of HELL
    i think it is great!! wouldnt change a thing!! hehe just wait til jack finds out!!! :D
     
  15. AliasFreak24

    AliasFreak24 Rocket Ranger

    Joined:
    May 14, 2003
    Location:
    You wish you knew.
    You guys are soooo nice. It really makes me wanna write more and I am right now. It should be up by this afternoon or tonite. Thanks again!...cks
     
  16. *SPYnish*

    *SPYnish* Rocket Ranger

    Joined:
    Mar 16, 2003
    Location:
    SPAIN
    It´s Great and Very Interesting, Please continue (y)

    ~Natalia~
     
  17. supergirl14

    supergirl14 Rocket Ranger

    Joined:
    May 5, 2003
    i like it. Syd pregnant? ae they married??? a little confused but begging for more!
     
  18. krzykty57789

    krzykty57789 Rocket Ranger

    Joined:
    May 7, 2003
    Location:
    Virginia
    yea..i agree is great..cant wait 4 more
     
  19. SydALias07

    SydALias07 Rocket Ranger

    Joined:
    Mar 24, 2003
    I like it!! Please post more soon. I can't wait to see what happens.
     
  20. AliasFreak24

    AliasFreak24 Rocket Ranger

    Joined:
    May 14, 2003
    Location:
    You wish you knew.
    No, they aren't married....that's true...thanks for pointing that out...it takes place right after Countdown so i guess not...anyways chapter 3 should be up tonite...thx..cks
     

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