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Paradise

Discussion in 'Creative Writing & Arts' started by bluheart13, May 14, 2003.

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  1. bluheart13

    bluheart13 Rocket Ranger

    Joined:
    Feb 26, 2003
    Ok everyone this is my first fan fic. So please, criticism is welcomed. The song is Paradise (which is also the title) by Vanessa Carlton. Hope you all like. And it is a little short.

    Paradise

    Sydney stood on the ledge. She stood there, but for what purpose. Well, there is no purpose in her life. It flew away on that day, the day the one she loved died.

    *Once upon a year gone by, she saw herself give in. Every time she closed her eyes she saw what could have been*

    Whenever Sydney closed her eyes she saw him. His beautiful, green eyes, his wonderful smile, his loving hugs, everything about him was amazing to her, but it hurt also……

    *Well nothing hurts and nothing bleeds when covers tucked in tight. Funny when the bottom drops how she forgets to fight...to fights*

    Why she stood on that ledge she knows not why. Maybe it…it will lead her to her paradise…………with him.

    *And it’s one more day in paradise, one more day in paradise. On last chance to feel alright……………………*




    So yay or nay. I hope you all liked it. I know it’s sort of depressing, but I just hope you like it. I know it’s short but sweet (well sort of?)

    Timmy :blink:
     
  2. aliaschick4mv

    aliaschick4mv Rocket Ranger

    Joined:
    Feb 26, 2003
    Location:
    East Coast
    :wonders how the hell a GUY could write that:

    YAY! DEFINET YAY! :swoons: You BETTER tell me what happens here! Is this after The Telling? TELL ME! LMAO Sry, I'm panicking.

    Luve ya,
    Dani

    PS Where are the Vaughn's not married and Alice haters clubs? So lost, so very very lost... MUST JOIN!!
     
  3. nancee

    nancee Rocket Ranger

    Joined:
    Feb 26, 2003
    Location:
    from da hood
    u killed vaughn......u killed vaughn.......gah....
     
  4. bluheart13

    bluheart13 Rocket Ranger

    Joined:
    Feb 26, 2003
    no one else likes it??? *runs to the corner and cries like a baby*

    timmy :blink:
     
  5. aliaschick4mv

    aliaschick4mv Rocket Ranger

    Joined:
    Feb 26, 2003
    Location:
    East Coast
    WHAT??? OF COURSE PEOPLE LIKE IT!! They probably just haven't noticed it.

    :just to show honor to Timmy and his amazing fic, posts a link in her fic, which hopefully will get some loyal readers with its confusing plot: The last ones got loyal readers anyway...
     
  6. Mrs. Karie Vartan

    Mrs. Karie Vartan Rocket Ranger

    Joined:
    Apr 4, 2003
    Location:
    Texas
    Yay!! Yay Yay Yay!!!
    -Karie-
     
  7. Sarahmañana

    Sarahmañana Rocket Ranger

    Joined:
    Apr 26, 2003
    hmn....sounds interesting! i liked it!!! i hope you keep writing!
     
  8. Mrs. Karie Vartan

    Mrs. Karie Vartan Rocket Ranger

    Joined:
    Apr 4, 2003
    Location:
    Texas
    BTY, you are a very talented writer!! (y) (y) Very poetic!! Keep it up!! :D
    -Karie-
     
  9. Sarahmañana

    Sarahmañana Rocket Ranger

    Joined:
    Apr 26, 2003
    post more timmy!!!! its good!!!
     
  10. aliasgurl

    aliasgurl Rocket Ranger

    Joined:
    Mar 2, 2003
    Location:
    Atlanta, GA
    hmm interesting. i like it so far. good job.
     
  11. bluheart13

    bluheart13 Rocket Ranger

    Joined:
    Feb 26, 2003
    WOW!!!!!!!!PEOPLE ACTUALLY LIKE IT!!!!!!!!!YAY!!!!!!!!!!OK NOW IM INSPIRED. OK i'll post a back story soon people. and thanks again for the reviews.

    timmy :blink:
     
  12. bluheart13

    bluheart13 Rocket Ranger

    Joined:
    Feb 26, 2003
    I'll probably have it up tonight so ill just say that it has nothing to do with the end of the second season but the end of the first season..............................

    timmy :blink:
     
  13. Ames47

    Ames47 Amy Strikes Back

    Joined:
    Mar 31, 2003
    Location:
    the outskirts of HELL
    wow timmy im impressed!!!great job!! i wanna see what happened to vaughn!!please continue!! :D (y)
     
  14. sydney_alias_vaughn

    sydney_alias_vaughn Rocket Ranger

    Joined:
    May 4, 2003
    Thats a great story I like it so far........YAY, YAY keep going its very interesting i wanna see what happened to Vaughn
     
  15. *SPYnish*

    *SPYnish* Rocket Ranger

    Joined:
    Mar 16, 2003
    Location:
    SPAIN
    A Paradise always is interesting. Continue please.
     
  16. Italian fan

    Italian fan Rocket Ranger

    Joined:
    May 6, 2003
    Location:
    Italy
    OH IT'S GREAT!!!!! Keep writing!!! (y) (y)
     
  17. allagent333

    allagent333 Rocket Ranger

    Joined:
    Apr 26, 2003
    Location:
    Folkestone Kent England
    LMAO!i love Vanessa Carlton!!and this is rely gud- post more soon
     
  18. Alias_luver33

    Alias_luver33 Rocket Ranger

    Joined:
    Apr 9, 2003
    Location:
    MI, US
    Of course a YAY!! This is great! Is this after The Telling? Well, keep going. Post the next chapter soon!! (y) (y) (y)

    ~Shammi~ :love:
     
  19. AliasFreak24

    AliasFreak24 Rocket Ranger

    Joined:
    May 14, 2003
    Location:
    You wish you knew.
    What a great start! Keep it comin'! YAY!
     
  20. aliasgurl

    aliasgurl Rocket Ranger

    Joined:
    Mar 2, 2003
    Location:
    Atlanta, GA
    i actually reread it, and now im a little confused. it says that she was on the ledge.. was she trying to kill herself so she could be with vaughn?? or did i jus read it wrong?
     

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