Really Funny

X

xxaliasxx35

Cadet
read this, its weird!:

ARTHUR:
I must speak with your lord and master.

SOLDIER #1:
What? Ridden on a horse?

ARTHUR:
Yes!

SOLDIER #1:
You're using coconuts!

ARTHUR:
What?

SOLDIER #1:
You've got two empty halves of coconut and you're bangin' 'em together.

ARTHUR:
So? We have ridden since the snows of winter covered this land, through the kingdom of Mercia, through--

SOLDIER #1:
Where'd you get the coconuts?

ARTHUR:
We found them.

SOLDIER #1:
Found them? In Mercia? The coconut's tropical!

ARTHUR:
What do you mean?

SOLDIER #1:
Well, this is a temperate zone.

ARTHUR:
The swallow may fly south with the sun or the house martin or the plover may seek warmer climes in winter, yet these are not strangers to our land?

SOLDIER #1:
Are you suggesting coconuts migrate?

ARTHUR:
Not at all. They could be carried.

SOLDIER #1:
What? A swallow carrying a coconut?

ARTHUR:
It could grip it by the husk!

SOLDIER #1:
It's not a question of where he grips it! It's a simple question of weight ratios! A five ounce bird could not carry a one pound coconut.

ARTHUR:
Well, it doesn't matter. Will you go and tell your master that Arthur from the Court of Camelot is here?

SOLDIER #1:
Listen. In order to maintain air-speed velocity, a swallow needs to beat its wings forty-three times every second, right?

ARTHUR:
Please!

SOLDIER #1:
Am I right?

ARTHUR:
I'm not interested!

SOLDIER #2:
It could be carried by an African swallow!

SOLDIER #1:
Oh, yeah, an African swallow maybe, but not a European swallow. That's my point.

SOLDIER #2:
Oh, yeah, I agree with that.

ARTHUR:
Will you ask your master if he wants to join my court at Camelot?!

SOLDIER #1:
But then of course, uh, African swallows are non-migratory.

SOLDIER #2:
Oh, yeah.

SOLDIER #1:
So, they couldn't bring a coconut back anyway.
[clop clop clop]

SOLDIER #2:
Wait a minute! Supposing two swallows carried it together?

SOLDIER #1:
No, they'd have to have it on a line.

SOLDIER #2:
Well, simple! They'd just use a strand of creeper!

SOLDIER #1:
What, held under the dorsal guiding feathers?

SOLDIER #2:
Well, why not
 
I LIKE COCONUTS, COCONUTS I LIKE! I LIKE COCONUTS, COCONUTS I LIKE! I LIKE COCONUTS, COCONUTS I LIKE! I LIKE COCONUTS, COCONUTS I LIKE! I LIKE COCONUTS, COCONUTS I LIKE! I LIKE COCONUTS, COCONUTS I LIKE! I LIKE COCONUTS, COCONUTS I LIKE! I LIKE COCONUTS, COCONUTS I LIKE! I LIKE COCONUTS, COCONUTS I LIKE! I LIKE COCONUTS, COCONUTS I LIKE! I LIKE COCONUTS, COCONUTS I LIKE! I LIKE COCONUTS, COCONUTS I LIKE! I LIKE COCONUTS, COCONUTS I LIKE! I LIKE COCONUTS, COCONUTS I LIKE! I LIKE COCONUTS, COCONUTS I LIKE! I LIKE COCONUTS, COCONUTS I LIKE! I LIKE COCONUTS, COCONUTS I LIKE! I LIKE COCONUTS, COCONUTS I LIKE! I LIKE COCONUTS, COCONUTS I LIKE! I LIKE COCONUTS, COCONUTS I LIKE! I LIKE COCONUTS, COCONUTS I LIKE! I LIKE COCONUTS, COCONUTS I LIKE! I LIKE COCONUTS, COCONUTS I LIKE! I LIKE COCONUTS, COCONUTS I LIKE! I LIKE COCONUTS, COCONUTS I LIKE! I LIKE COCONUTS, COCONUTS I LIKE! I LIKE COCONUTS, COCONUTS I LIKE! I LIKE COCONUTS, COCONUTS I LIKE! I LIKE COCONUTS, COCONUTS I LIKE! I LIKE COCONUTS, COCONUTS I LIKE! I LIKE COCONUTS, COCONUTS I LIKE! I LIKE COCONUTS, COCONUTS I LIKE! I LIKE COCONUTS, COCONUTS I LIKE! I LIKE COCONUTS, COCONUTS I LIKE! I LIKE COCONUTS, COCONUTS I LIKE! I LIKE COCONUTS, COCONUTS I LIKE! I LIKE COCONUTS, COCONUTS I LIKE! I LIKE COCONUTS, COCONUTS I LIKE! I LIKE COCONUTS, COCONUTS I LIKE! I LIKE COCONUTS, COCONUTS I LIKE! I LIKE COCONUTS, COCONUTS I LIKE! I LIKE COCONUTS, COCONUTS I LIKE! I LIKE COCONUTS, COCONUTS I LIKE! I LIKE COCONUTS, COCONUTS I LIKE! I LIKE COCONUTS, COCONUTS I LIKE! I LIKE COCONUTS, COCONUTS I LIKE! I LIKE COCONUTS, COCONUTS I LIKE! I LIKE COCONUTS, COCONUTS I LIKE!
 
Coconuts sitting in my hand
Remindin' me of my island man
And my island man sitting in his hut
Dreamin' about my coconuts

Coconuts floating in the sea
I remember you, I remember me
Coconuts dancing in the sand
And I'm in love again with my island man

Coconut milk is like a stream
That comes from the mountain pure and clean
And the man he comes to drink it up
Never tires of the taste of those coconuts

Coconuts floating in the sea
I remember you, I remember me
Coconuts dancing in the sand
And I'm in love again with my island man

Coconut flavor sweet and mild
Remindin' me of my island child
And my island child all grown up
Out in the carnival of life jugglin' coconuts

Coconuts floating in the sea
I remember you, I remember me
Coconuts dancing in the sand
And I'm in love again with my island man
 
I like coconuts, you can't break them open
they smell like ladies,
lyin in the sun

I like coconuts you can't break them open
they smell like ladies,
lyin in the sun

And if I had my way
I'd give a coconut to everyone

Well I gotta friend named Jack
Look like he born in a paper sack
well that's my friend Jack

Oooh, c'mon Jack
Smell these coconuts

There's enough for everyone

Jackie likes the smell of cut grass
he used to play ball on Saturdays
Playin in the sun

Jackie likes the smell of cut grass
he used to play ball on Saturdays
Playin in the sun

If Jackie had his way,
he'd give some cut grass to everyone

Well I gotta friend named Fred
Look like he born in a slanty shed
(in some versions "piece of bread)
well that's my friend Fred

Oooh, c'mon Fred
Smell these coconuts

There's enough for everyone

Freddy likes the sound of cold drink
he used to pop tops on Saturdays,
sippin in the sun

Freddy likes the sound of cold drink
he used to pop tops on Saturdays,
sippin in the sun

If Freddy had his way
ooh, he'd give a cold drink to everyone

(I'm gonna follow my nose to where the coconut grows
nobody knows like my nose, to find those, no)

I like coconuts, you can't break them open and they smell like ladies,
Lyin in the sun
 
Picking coconuts from the coconut tree
nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah
Biggest coconuts that you ever see
nah nah nah nah nah nah
Picking coconuts from the coconut tree
nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah
Biggest coconuts that you ever see
Feeling free and happy

Come follow come follow, follow, follow me
nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah
Picking coconuts from the coconut tree
nah nah nah nah nah nah
Come follow come follow, follow, follow me
nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah
Biggest coconuts that you ever see
Feeling free and happy

Ohh, all the sunshine boys
Let's start the party
Ohh, all the sunshine girls
Let's have a good time
Ohh, everybody, were going to party tonight, tonight, tonight

Come follow come follow, follow, follow me
nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah
Picking coconuts from the coconut tree
nah nah nah nah nah nah
Come follow come follow, follow, follow me
nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah
Biggest coconuts that you ever see
Feeling free and happy

Ohh, all the sunshine boys
Let's start the party
Ohh, all the sunshine girls
Let's have a good time
Ohh, everybody, were going to party tonight, tonight, tonight

Come buy a co-co-co-nut
What's the matter with you
Come buy a co-co-co-nut
Come on, come on

Come buy a co-co-co-nut
What's the matter with you
Come buy a co-co-co-nut
Come on, come on

Picking coconuts from the coconut tree
Biggest coconuts that you ever see
Picking coconuts from the coconut tree
Come follow come follow, follow, follow me
Picking coconuts from the coconut tree
Biggest coconuts that you ever see
Picking coconuts from the coconut tree
Feeling free and happy

Ohh, all the sunshine boys
Let's start the party
Ohh, all the sunshine girls
Let's have a good time
Ohh, everybody, were going to party tonight, tonight, tonight

Ohh, all the sunshine boys
Let's start the party
Ohh, all the sunshine girls
Let's have a good time
Ohh, everybody, were going to party tonight, tonight, tonight

Come buy a co-co-co-nut
What's the matter with you
Come buy a co-co-co-nut
Come on, come on

Come buy a co-co-co-nut
What's the matter with you
Come buy a co-co-co-nut
Come on, come on
 
only pineapple song i could find.

Detective is flat
no longer is always flat out
got the number of the getaway car
didn't get very far
As lucid as hell
these images moving so fast
like a fever
so close to the bone
I don't feel too well

And if you choose
to take that path

I will play you like a shark
and I'll clutch at your heart
I'll come flying like a spark
to enflame you

Sleeping alone
for pleasure, the pineapple head
it spins and it spins
like a number I hold
don't remember if she was my friend
it was a long time ago

And if you choose
to take that path

Sleeping alone
for pleasure, the pineapple head
it spins and it spins
like a number I hold
don't remember if she was my friend
it was a long time ago

And if you choose
to take that path
would you come to make me pay?
 
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