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Review: 2012 - A disaster of a movie (SPOILERS WITHIN!)

Discussion in 'Movies' started by worldmaker, Nov 15, 2009.

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  1. worldmaker

    worldmaker Producer/Screenwriter

    Joined:
    Feb 5, 2009
    Location:
    England
    Incensed, so much I have to put metaphorical pen to cybernetic paper, thus herein are my views, thoughts and the venting of spleen, etc.

    Now I don't mind the underlying premise. The writers have to hand the story on something and the huge upheavals in the Earth are as good as any excuse for a story Hollywood can come up with, so I'll let them off for that. (Please, if you're a geologist or astrophysicist don't tell me off there, yes I know, unrealistic, etc.)

    So let us at the underlying storyline.

    A billion euros (a bit like a foreign dollar, very alien and un-America, gosh what were the producers thinking, poking fun at the feebleness of the good ol' greenback!?), for your safe seat on the "last ship out of the end of the world".

    Sound like a good deal, to any half-wit. But how much does it really cost to build your own ship for you, your family, friends, girlfriends, mistresses and other totty? A couple of hundred million, and a few hundred million to spare for some other luxuries, like a few more ships?

    So all the half-wits are to be packed away on a magical, mysterious "big ship" to save their lives.

    Right. Yes. I think not.

    Oh, and don't forget to kill of all the non-U people, those who don't "fit" the magical ships, like foreigners who aren't proper Americans, ie., born in America or as rich as an America.

    As for big ships, obviously the half-wit population of the world haven't noticed the huge cruise ships already floating around the world, so easily modified, oh and the vast aircraft carriers that could airlift an entire town to safety, oh, and... But of course these are "special ships" for special people, not like all the nuclear submarines in the world though.

    As so we sail off into the sunset heading for a new home, where all the foreign people have already settled because it didn't get harmed too much in the end of the world (of America), so we can conquer it as soon as we arrive by offering them Trade Goods.

    Let this sink in the mire of it's own doom.

    :rolleyes:
     
  2. Viktor Kuprin

    Viktor Kuprin Spaced Cadet Writer

    Joined:
    Jun 21, 2007
    Location:
    Bloomington, Indiana, USA
    Before you stomp too hard, remember that Roland Emmerich always makes junk movies, and that he's German, not American. Well, the original Stargate film was interesting, at least until the Egyptian slave mob came running over the dunes at the end.
     
  3. worldmaker

    worldmaker Producer/Screenwriter

    Joined:
    Feb 5, 2009
    Location:
    England
    Ah, that explains it - revenge for the war (Don't mention the war!!)

    :D
     
  4. Kevin

    Kevin Code Monkey Staff Abductee

    Joined:
    Mar 20, 2004
    Location:
    Pennsylvania
    Worldmaker, if you weren't happy with 2012 then I suspect you won't be happy to hear that.... Roland & team are already working on 2013 which will be a sequel to the movie dealing with those who survived on Earth instead of getting on the ships.
     
  5. Tim

    Tim Creative Writer

    Joined:
    Jan 16, 2005
    Location:
    England
    I've seen a few films from asian cinema origins about disasters recently. Tsunami and end of the world stuff. Maybe it would be better to watch them instead?
     
  6. LudwigPrandtl

    LudwigPrandtl Cadet

    Joined:
    Nov 18, 2009
    i can't tell if "WorldMaker's" reviews of 2012 are sarcastic, witty, or just plain stupid.


    1. A billion euros (a bit like a foreign dollar, very alien and un-America, gosh what were the producers thinking, poking fun at the feebleness of the good ol' greenback!?), for your safe seat on the "last ship out of the end of the world"
    1. Dude, as an American, even I know euro's are worth more than the American greenback. "a bit like a foreign dollar?" Dude! This ain't the 1980s! Welcome to 2000!


    2. Oh, and don't forget to kill of all the non-U people, those who don't "fit" the magical ships, like foreigners who aren't proper Americans, ie., born in America or as rich as an America.
    2. Who are "non-U" people? Why the American bashing? Why do you think Americans are the richest? The stupidity of political correctness aside, I thought the movie was well representative of "non-traditional" Americans. A smart black person instead of a gun-totting gangster? Emotional Chinese actors who don't have to do kung-fu? That crazy Russian!!? C'mon, the movie was well representative of international character.

    3. ...it didn't get harmed too much in the end of the world (of America)
    3. sounds to me like you hate America. Fine, that's your opinion, but it's just a movie, dude. it's meant to be COOL with some introspection of society and humanity. great special effects. good characters. humorous at some parts. That's all!!!!
    don't spoil a feel-good movie with your disdain for America!
    besides, where would get breast implants and facials without America?? =P
     
  7. worldmaker

    worldmaker Producer/Screenwriter

    Joined:
    Feb 5, 2009
    Location:
    England
    Right! That's it! I'm building my own starship to escape the impending doom as we dumb down below the level of chimps, and chumps.

    I'm selling tickets, a billion euros anyone?

    :D

    Oh, and the sequels' supposed to be a TV series?
     
  8. worldmaker

    worldmaker Producer/Screenwriter

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    England
    I have nothing but love and admiration for the people of America, including all my cousins over there, it's that tripped out West coast Hollywood bunch that make me squirm.

    :D
     
  9. Kevin

    Kevin Code Monkey Staff Abductee

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    Mar 20, 2004
    Location:
    Pennsylvania
    Yes, 2013 will be a TV series slated for next year.
     
  10. worldmaker

    worldmaker Producer/Screenwriter

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    Feb 5, 2009
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    Oh joy, I look forward to not watching it. :rolleyes:
     
  11. samesame

    samesame Scout

    Joined:
    Nov 20, 2009
    I guess regardless of how much the movie sucked (which it did), they've certainly made their money back and then some. Why do people go out and support bad movies!!!

    While In The Loop barely gets noticed....such a shame...
     
  12. reffer101

    reffer101 Cadet

    Joined:
    Dec 7, 2009
    Location:
    India
    What the hack, you mean that there would be another felgercarb on TV like that. Well now I can say that WORLD is DOOMED now. This is the real 2012 for me.:D
     

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