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Shattered Truth

Discussion in 'Creative Writing & Arts' started by Espionage, Apr 18, 2003.

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  1. Espionage

    Espionage Rocket Ranger

    Joined:
    Mar 5, 2003
    Location:
    England!
    Ok, this is my first attempt of a fic and I'm gonna try to include lots of different ideas, gonna b fluffy in parts and be action packed in others! Please review it 4 me coz I'd like 2 know what everyone thinks of my writing. Here's the beginning, and i'll post more soon if people are interested!

    Prologue

    ‘The CIA, supposedly the heart of American intelligence. A unique organisation run by extremely proficient and patriotic people.
    Sydney Bristow had believed this since the day she was recruited to serve the US government and provide Intel to those that sort to cause harm to American society. Little did she know or believe that patriotic did not describe those she admired and obeyed. The time was fast approaching however when she would realise what uncertainty and lies surrounded her and cause her to doubt all those she cherished most dear’
     
  2. You've got my attention. i'm all eyes :D :LOL:
    --Mandy :angelic:
     
  3. aliaschick4mv

    aliaschick4mv Rocket Ranger

    Joined:
    Feb 26, 2003
    Location:
    East Coast
    Hmmm sounds interesting. Can't wait for more.
     
  4. sbmv12

    sbmv12 Rocket Ranger

    Joined:
    Apr 1, 2003
    Location:
    Ill
    I really like to see what hapens. so pleas post more soon.
     
  5. kate jones

    kate jones Scout

    Joined:
    Jan 14, 2003
    It's a good start. Keep writing - maybe post more next time. It sounds good!
    ~kate
     
  6. totally4alias10

    totally4alias10 Rocket Ranger

    Joined:
    Mar 22, 2003
    Location:
    Oklahoma
    You got my attention!! write soon!!!
     
  7. nancee

    nancee Rocket Ranger

    Joined:
    Feb 26, 2003
    Location:
    from da hood
    o0o0o00o yeah
     
  8. Adriana

    Adriana Rocket Ranger

    Joined:
    Mar 19, 2003
    Location:
    oklahoma
    my attention is caught also!
     
  9. bluheart13

    bluheart13 Rocket Ranger

    Joined:
    Feb 26, 2003
    I think that the beginning caught everyones attention. post more soon

    timmy :ninja:
     
  10. Espionage

    Espionage Rocket Ranger

    Joined:
    Mar 5, 2003
    Location:
    England!
    Thank you 2 everyone who reviewed my Prologue - (sounds quite posh! LMAO!) This is the first chapter, havent written anymore yet but I will do in the next few days, revisin at the moment so I'll write whenever I have spare time if people want 2 read my story.

    Chapter 1 – An Old friend

    “Room service”
    A harsh call accompanied the defined knock on the door. Sydney stirred and glanced across to the clock beside her on the table. 8am, another day had begun that promised to provide more risk, excitement and intrigue. She shivered, it was a freezing January morning and the air was cool due to the air conditioning that she had mistakenly left on over night. Her bare arm lay still, unable to move. Goosebumps had started to form and she struggled to control the shaking of her body.
    “Knock Knock!” slammed the hand against the door yet again.
    She had forgotten the rude awakening of room service and proceeded to remove herself from the cosy and decidedly warm bed. She struggled to pull on her dressing gown that lay on the bottom of the hotel bed. Clambering across the room, she caught a glimpse of herself in the mirror. Her hair was knotted and looking way in need of a brush and her face was pale. Last nights mission had taken a lot out of her and this was the punishment of returning back and forgetting to moisturise!
    ‘Note to self Syd, never go to sleep without following the skin regime, cause the mirror sure don’t lie!’ she thought to herself.
    This prompted a small smile that was quickly wiped off her face when she reached the door. On opening, outside stood a small, stocky looking man with receding hairline. His creased up face gave a stony glare,
    “Sorry to awaken you at such an early hour Miss Derevko” he uttered in a rude manner, “but I have here a package that was delivered with strict instructions to be given to you personally.”
    He bestowed on her a large brown envelope that was addressed to her in scrawny handwriting. Immediately Sydney’s mind filled with suspicion. Her nature meant that she had misgivings about the least thing but this particular article provided her with an uneasy feeling. The writing was familiar but at this point, she couldn’t provide an identity to it. She looked down at the man, and studied his face. He intently stared back making no expression.
    “Anything else?” she enquired.
    At this, he walked a little down the corridor and commenced pushing a silver-plated trolley crammed with Russian delights. He wheeled the trolley into Sydney’s room and proclaimed,
    “This gourmet breakfast has been prepared especially for you on behalf of the Moscow Plaza. The chef has taken considerable care to include all the best dishes on the menu. I hope you enjoy it once you’ve awoken Miss Derevko!”
    And with that final sarcastic comment, the man scurried off down the hallway.
    ‘Russian manners’ thought Syd, great way to start the day.
    Hopefully not all the people in the city were this rude in the mornings!
    Syd sighed. Her stomach groaned, and the food was calling to her, but her mind screamed that the package must come first. She slammed the door and grappled with the envelope. Inside she found a single, blue sheet of paper folded a number of times. In black marker on one side was a symbol that was all too recognizable. <O>
    She froze. Her mind was right and the hunger in her stomach was now churning into fear. As she slowly opened the note she realised the identity of the sender.
    “My Dear” read the first line,
    He was back!

    Please review! :D

    *~Loz~* :blondewig:
     
  11. *twinkletoes*

    *twinkletoes* Rocket Ranger

    Joined:
    Feb 27, 2003
    ahh who is it? this is so good.
    Mel
     
  12. hum... lemme analyze this... so either she always had the last name derevko or it's a cover for a mission. rambaldi sign and him... Sloane? Sark? some new character u're inventing??? rude russians... hum... u've got me. I have no idea. maybe a little more can help?
    --Mandy :angelic:
     
  13. Moriel

    Moriel Banned

    Joined:
    Feb 27, 2003
    Location:
    Mafia Headquarters
    this is great who is the letter from? anyway please post more soon.
     
  14. nancee

    nancee Rocket Ranger

    Joined:
    Feb 26, 2003
    Location:
    from da hood
    hmm so its syd..but her last name is derevko...and shes think "hes" back but whos he?..hmm...very good
     
  15. kleverkitten

    kleverkitten Rocket Ranger

    Joined:
    Feb 26, 2003
    If he is Sark and she's excited....ewwww!!!!!!!!

    Okay, I'm done now.


    :P
     
  16. Ilikesloane

    Ilikesloane Rocket Ranger

    Joined:
    Dec 12, 2002
  17. totally4alias10

    totally4alias10 Rocket Ranger

    Joined:
    Mar 22, 2003
    Location:
    Oklahoma
    Wow!! Great start!! Can't wait for more!
     
  18. Moriel

    Moriel Banned

    Joined:
    Feb 27, 2003
    Location:
    Mafia Headquarters
    ditto
     
  19. aliaschick4mv

    aliaschick4mv Rocket Ranger

    Joined:
    Feb 26, 2003
    Location:
    East Coast
    Yuck, Sark and Syd fics scare me half to death. :shudder: No offense to whoever it was that wrote Shades of Gray. And very cool. But Miss Derevko?? huh??? LMAO TTFN!

    Danielle/Dani
     
  20. Espionage

    Espionage Rocket Ranger

    Joined:
    Mar 5, 2003
    Location:
    England!
    Hehe! I c i have ur attention with the Miss Derevko thing! LMAO! u'll have 2 wait till the next chapter 2 find out why i used it. second chap is currently near its end, I'm on the case guys, prob post 2day, if i dont, will b in next couple of days, sorry 4 taking so long! Dont hate me! ;)

    *~Loz~* :blondewig:
     

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