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Through Will's Eyes

Discussion in 'General' started by crazy_4_alias, Mar 30, 2003.

  1. crazy_4_alias

    crazy_4_alias Rocket Ranger

    Joined:
    Mar 23, 2003
    Ok, this is my first fic, so tell me what you think!
    disclaimer: I do not own alias, If I did I would be rich
    This is right after they discover Freplica, and mostly from Will's POV. Irina is Irina, or Derevko, Jack is Jack, Sydney is Sydney or Syd, Vaughn is Vaughn, Will is Will, and you get the picture. This is kind of written like a play.......

    ~~~~~~~~~~~Chapter 1~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    Will's POV
    *
    *I'm sitting in the CIA meeting room, a place I dreamed I'd be in as a little kid, and listening to the fact that the woman I had slept with was NOT who I thought she was, and I had probably leaked secrets that threatened national security. Hey, just another day in Will Tippin's life.*

    Kendall- HEY TIPPIN! Are you with us?

    *Holy felgercarb* I jumped about 5 feet in the air.

    Will-Yes sir.

    Kendall-Good. Bristow SR, the ball's in your court now

    *Jack totally freaks me out. Maybe because he gave me a shot of heroin a couple months ago. Though his eyes freak me out. They are grey and shifty, hardly ever in the same spot.*

    Jack- Thank-you, Kendall.(he stands up) Tippin, we believe that whoever sent out the clone is going to try to capture you and extract any information they don't already know.(he glares at me and I shift guiltily) So we will be sending you to Florida with Sydney.(Jack's thoughts: This chump reporter is depriving us of our best agent when we need her to help clear up the mess HE created? Give me a break!)
    She will be posing as your wife. You will be known as Gary and Helen Sharpp.

    *Oh yes! I ge to be married to Syd!*

    Will-(gulps) When do we leave?

    Jack- Your plane leaves in 6 hours. "Freplica" is still at large, so be careful.
     
  2. crazy_4_alias

    crazy_4_alias Rocket Ranger

    Joined:
    Mar 23, 2003
    Ok, I don't really like Jack, so If you like him, don't sue, because I might do some Jack- bashing.
     
  3. fledermaus

    fledermaus Rocket Ranger

    Joined:
    Dec 12, 2002
    don't worry, have a ball. jack kind of scares me. but he's in all these movies now, like music man and stuff! huh. suggestion: maybe you could give a little back info, like how they found freplica (unless that's a spoiler or something.) this is interesting, keep it coming! and is francie dead?
     
  4. crazy_4_alias

    crazy_4_alias Rocket Ranger

    Joined:
    Mar 23, 2003
    You'll just have to wait & see! :devil:<-----that is supposed to be a devil. MUHA HA HA HA!
     
  5. crazy_4_alias

    crazy_4_alias Rocket Ranger

    Joined:
    Mar 23, 2003
    Yay! New post!
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~Chapter 2~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    Will's POV
    *
    *I'm in my apartment, packing up my things. I don't beleive it. I have been told to pack up everything, and hop on a plane taking me away from the life I've know in less thean 6 hours. What kind of twisted story is that?
    As I'm packing up my clothes, my eyes fell on a long black t-shirt of mine. I gulp. It's the one Francie, or whoever the heck she was wore on the last night we were together. Boy, do I remember that!

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~FLASHBACK~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    It was morning, and Francie was just going out the door to go to work.

    Will- Hang on a minute, Francie!

    Francie- (turns around) Yeah, Will?

    Will- I, Um....(slips a small diamond ring over her left ring finger)......was........er...

    Francie-(throws her arms around Will) Oh Will, of course I'll marry you!

    Will-(smiles & looks estatic)

    Suddenly, there are flashing lights and a heicopter overhead.

    CIA Agent- (over a megaphone, from in the helicopter) COME OUT WITH YOUR HANDS UP!!!!!!

    I did as he commanded. Francie ran. Somebody shot her in the left shoulder, but she kept running. I sank down, because I didn't know if the girl I loved would live or die. I don't know who she was, but almost definately not Francie. I didn't care. I loved her anyway.
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~END FLASHBACK~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    *I hold back the tears that are threatening to fall, and keep packing. I have a plane to catch.
     
  6. crazy_4_alias

    crazy_4_alias Rocket Ranger

    Joined:
    Mar 23, 2003
    I don't think that's a spoiler, I haven't checked. Should I even bother to post more? I don't think anybody is reading but you, fledermaus.
     
  7. GeoGirl

    GeoGirl Captain

    Joined:
    Dec 20, 2002
    Crazy,

    I think you're right about readers not really appreciating Will's POV, though I think its interesting to explore. This is a great start. Can I give a little constructive criticism? Just watch the spacing a bit between lines, it just reads a little better. Here's an example...


    If it were to look like this, it would make it easier to follow.

    Just a suggestion. Keep going and hopefully more readers will appreciate this.
    GeoGirl
     
  8. kylo4

    kylo4 Rocket Ranger

    Joined:
    Mar 12, 2003
    Location:
    Canada
    That's a good fanfic. I like it and the fact that it's in play format is kinda cool, considering I'm an actor.
     
  9. crazy_4_alias

    crazy_4_alias Rocket Ranger

    Joined:
    Mar 23, 2003
    ok, that was, the end. I know it was kind of boring with no plot, but it's a good stopping place and I have no readers.
     
  10. kylo4

    kylo4 Rocket Ranger

    Joined:
    Mar 12, 2003
    Location:
    Canada
    Yah, I don't want to end the Sydney vs. Elektra fic but I might have to because not enough people are writing what they think about it.
     
  11. fledermaus

    fledermaus Rocket Ranger

    Joined:
    Dec 12, 2002
    heck, if you wanna finish it, just go ahead. people will read it, and then they'll respond. keep going if you want to, express yourself! and the spacing really does help.

    :bat:
     
  12. nancee

    nancee Rocket Ranger

    Joined:
    Feb 26, 2003
    Location:
    from da hood
    o0o0o0o
     
  13. crazy_4_alias

    crazy_4_alias Rocket Ranger

    Joined:
    Mar 23, 2003
    I just have no more ideas of where to go.......I might do more if I'm un-creatively zapped ( is that ven a word?). I have no plot ideas. Maybe I should do more Freplica...... I dunno.
     
  14. kylo4

    kylo4 Rocket Ranger

    Joined:
    Mar 12, 2003
    Location:
    Canada
    Hmmmm........ Why don't you just ask people for ideas and then credit them when you post the chapter.
    kylo4
     

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