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time cannot erase

Discussion in 'Creative Writing & Arts' started by aliaschick47, Apr 6, 2003.

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  1. aliaschick47

    aliaschick47 Ensign

    Joined:
    Mar 16, 2003
    all of this belongs to jj and the song is evanescence my immortal (timecannot erase)
    this happens a year after getaway but phase one and all that has not happened, sd-6 is still there

    ch1

    syd is in the hospital because she didnt listen to vaughn on a mission and he thinks that their relationship is interfereing. theyve been seeing each other in secret since getaway.

    vaughn and kendall are in kendalls office

    K: What are you thinking! there are a million reasons you shouldnt be doing this you could end up dead!

    V: I love sydney, but.....

    K:you cant do this

    V:i know

    K:and

    V: thats why im putting in for a transfer to france

    K:very well

    V:thanx


    nexy chap in a few minutes
     
  2. aliaschick47

    aliaschick47 Ensign

    Joined:
    Mar 16, 2003
    ch2

    syds hospital room


    V: syd...

    S:im so soryy i didnt listen. please forgive me, i was being stupid.please dont hate me

    V:i could never hate you....but thats why im going to france.

    S:(crying) NO! you cant leave too.i got in to this for danny, one love i lost then noah died, now im in it for you, for us, if you live i have nothing to fight for.

    V:yes you do, do it for yourself, so you can be free!

    S: i dont want to be free with out you.

    V: i have to go, my flight is in an hour, but i wanted to tell you myself

    S: noooooo

    S: i love you(sobbing)

    V: i know bye
     
  3. SiriCerasi

    SiriCerasi Rocket Ranger

    Joined:
    Dec 8, 2002
    Location:
    CA
    I love that song!

    but but but... Vaughn can't leave right? :unsure:
     
  4. Aliasfan23

    Aliasfan23 Rocket Ranger

    Joined:
    Mar 4, 2003
    Location:
    LA
  5. aliaschick47

    aliaschick47 Ensign

    Joined:
    Mar 16, 2003
    more later i just type like a ton and it got deleted
     
  6. SiriCerasi

    SiriCerasi Rocket Ranger

    Joined:
    Dec 8, 2002
    Location:
    CA
    :( that really sucks, I hope you can remember everything!
     
  7. beepbeep808

    beepbeep808 Captain

    Joined:
    Jan 22, 2003
    Wow, thats great! I like it so far, but I'm concerned with the whole Vaughn thintg! I DON"T WANT HIM TO LEAVE!
    -Bekah
     
  8. vaughnscaligurl47

    vaughnscaligurl47 Rocket Ranger

    Joined:
    Mar 7, 2003
    Location:
    murrita, temecula, Cali
    NOOOOOOOOOOO *i drag it on as i run out of the room like a drunken mummy* COME BACK MY LUVER!!!!


    lauren vartan i am sooo sad!! :( lol lol lol lol :LOL: laflaflaflaflaf
     
  9. aliaschick47

    aliaschick47 Ensign

    Joined:
    Mar 16, 2003
    ch3

    syd is in her car and vaughn is at his house they are both listening to this song

    I'm so tired of being here

    supressed by all my childish fears

    and if you have to leave

    I wish that you would just leave

    'cause your presence still lingers here

    and it won't leave me alone

    these wounds won't seem to heal

    this pain is just too real

    there's just too much that time cannot erase

    when you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears

    when you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears

    and I held your hand through all of these years

    but you still have me

    all of me

    you used to captivate me

    by your resonating light

    now I'm bound by the life you've left behind

    your face it hurts

    my once pleasant dreams

    your voice it chased away

    all the sanity in me

    I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone

    but though you're still with me

    I've been alone all along...

    V POV wow this fits

    *god i love her but i have to do this* shakes his head *i need to pack*


    Syd POV

    still sobbing

    *i love him so much and i will do any thing for him, but i guess if he wants i have to let him go
    ill take down the ALLIANCE BUT ill still do it for him and when its over and im settled ill find him*

    just then her phone rings
     
  10. aliaschick47

    aliaschick47 Ensign

    Joined:
    Mar 16, 2003
    ch4 francie is still francie


    S: hello

    F:hey! are you on your way home

    S: yeah lets not go out tonight, i dont feel well. bye

    f BYE

    syds house
    syd in her room holding her pictureframe and sobbing francie come in and hears her so she tries to talk to her

    S:oh(gulp) god

    F:what is it sweetie

    S:Vaughn...

    F: who?

    S:My.............coworker, hes leaving because we have been seeing each other in secret and we got caught and hes leaving fror france(she checks her watch) ten minutes ago.

    F: soo.

    S: i have to tel you something, i dont work for a bank i never have, almost nine years ago now.....
    syd tell francie everything they talk for hours and then at the end of the night they are both sobbiong

    F: oh mi gosh you have it so hard im so sorry, i complain about going to the spa and youre saving the world

    S: ive gotta go to the...bank you can tell any one you know that right?

    F: yes,danny

    S:love ya bye

    F:u2 bye
     
  11. aliaschick47

    aliaschick47 Ensign

    Joined:
    Mar 16, 2003
    ch5 after work that day, syd still teary and all day she got sympathetic smiles, she hated it

    Syd POV

    *ill write him a letter*

    dear michael,
    wow ive never called you that before, i love you so much but i will let you go because thats what you want, but i promise you that i will never love another man and ill complete my job for you, i only hope you are happy
    love always
    syd

    * darn im crying again*
     
  12. aliaschick47

    aliaschick47 Ensign

    Joined:
    Mar 16, 2003
    Four years later

    CH6
    SD-6 WAS TAKEN DOWN ONE YEAR EARLIER-BUT WILL AND HER FATHER WERE KILLED-francie is in the WPP and is somewhere in austrailia syd quit the cia and now teaches kindergarten in upstate new york-she adopted a little 5 year old whos parents were killed in the credit dauphine biulding collapse-her name is laura-syd didnt name her and she still cries over vaughn every night

    S: come on laura time for school

    L: okay sydney

    S:what are we learning today!

    L: i dunno your my teacher

    S(laughing)we have a special storry teller coming today

    L: ok

    at school

    syd with her 12 kindergardners just finished coloring


    S: okayy everyone take your seats in the story corner, we hava guest coming, hes a story teller

    KIds: YAYAYAYAYAY

    the door opens and a mans walkis in

    Man:hi is the the kinder garten class?

    Syd turns around while she says "yes''

    S: VAUGHN!
     
  13. aliaschick47

    aliaschick47 Ensign

    Joined:
    Mar 16, 2003
    continued

    V: sydney!

    S: hugs him "so your a teacher now"

    V: no i am a writer

    S: oh i missed you,

    V: syd, i have to tell you...........im married.

    syd runs out crying
     
  14. aliaschick47

    aliaschick47 Ensign

    Joined:
    Mar 16, 2003
    this is all i have written any ideas on how you want it to go email me at kirasett@hotmail.com dont post it here
     
  15. Alias Elle

    Alias Elle Rocket Ranger

    Joined:
    Dec 1, 2002
    Location:
    Los Angeles, CA
    Alright, I'm gonna try to be gentle...

    Up until Ch. 6, you were doing pretty well, except you forget a lot (like WHY she was in the hospital and the extent of her injuries?) and then ch. 6 just made very little sense. That was extremely compressed and it just went by too fast, as if you were writing a preview for this story instead of the story itself. I also thought you dragged out the whole "Syd crying over Vaughn" thing. In every scene she's crying over him. Why? You might want to go back to the storyboards with this because I don't believe you fully developed your plot. You've got some good ideas, and if you want, I'd be willing to help you think them out, but I think you should go back and start again.

    I'm sorry if I was harsh, but some of the writers on here can tell you, the stories have gotten much better. I don't do this to be mean, I just do it to enhance the quality of work in this forum.

    ~Me :angel2:
     
  16. Bondgal2007

    Bondgal2007 Rocket Ranger

    Joined:
    Feb 26, 2003
    I want more pleaseeeeeeeeeee
     
  17. aliaschick47

    aliaschick47 Ensign

    Joined:
    Mar 16, 2003
    ok im going to do a flash back to the mission where she got hurt, itll be up soon
     
  18. nancee

    nancee Rocket Ranger

    Joined:
    Feb 26, 2003
    Location:
    from da hood
    ditto
     
  19. aliaschick47

    aliaschick47 Ensign

    Joined:
    Mar 16, 2003
    FLASH BACK TO THE MISSION

    slone is sitting in the conference room at sd-6, dixon and marshall are there syd walks in 10 minutes late, she was with michael.

    ''im so sorry im late, my car wouldnt start''syd said, suprised at how easily the lie slipped out. *god ill be happy when this is all over and i will be ablr to be with michael and tell everyone the ruth*

    ''ok'' sloane said, ''lets set started'' "sydney, dixon, your mission is to go to a party in paris, where you will pose as mr and mrs cole dickenson, some welthy art collectors. There, a painting is being auctioned, what the owners don't know is that under the painting, the canvass is a rambaldi page'' you leave in one hour"

    ~~~on the plane~~~

    syd typing a paper on her lap top

    "so syd are you still going to be a professor"?Dixon asked

    "no," she replied, "I have decided that I am going to teach kinder garten"

    "wow that's amazing syd" how much longer do you have of school?"

    she said"about 2 1/3 years.

    "this is your captain speaking, we are about to land"

    Dixon cries"we better get ready.

    ~~~~~~~~at the party~~~~~~~~~

    syd is wearing a gorgeus white gown with one shoulder, she has on a rust red wig and blue contacts

    the art owner walks up to them and says "mr and mrs dickenson, im so glad you area able to attened the party and auction, the painting you were looking at earlier is now put aside, as a special offer, if you would like, I will sell you the painting now so you wont have to go through the auction."

    Syd in a southern accent"well arnt you a dear, of course we'll take it now. How does ten thousand dollars sound"?

    "why that's wonderful"

    syd whispers in dixons ear as soon as he walks away, im going to go get the painting and then lets get out of here, you go get the car ok"

    "you go t it bluebird" he mumbled

    syd walks down a hallway and asks the nearest guard where is the restroom? She then knocks him out and eneters the art room using the cell scrambler marshall gave her.

    "im in" she mumbled to Vaughn"

    Flash back to Vaughn and syd in the wear house earler befor the party

    "hi"

    Hey Vaughn replied

    " I have about ten minutes" I told sloane I was going to pack"

    "ok heres your comm. And when you get the painting you have to take it to the airpotrwith Dixon and when you are on the plane get Dixon to leave for a moment and call me and tell me where in the cargo it is, then I will have a cia agent posing on the plane switct it for a copy with no rambaldi properties on it, when you pick it up at the baggage claim run your hand through your hair and we will make your you are given an antedote for a truth serum, just in case"

    "OK"

    "talk to you later"

    ~~~~~~back in the art room~~~~~~~

    "im in"

    "ok:" Vaughn answered

    "it should be on the right, third painting from the door" ok syd?

    OK

    "wait syd get out of there, the guard are coming I see them on the video survaeilence, they know the paintings rambaldi leave now!"

    "no way Vaughn im so close give me one moreā€¦'" the door burst open and syd takes off down the room two guard tackle her and she is stabbed in the leg, she takes then down she pulls hur gun on the third and he shoots her in the hand, but she shoots him and he dies
    "SYD" Vaughn screamed"Dixon is on his way get rid of your comm. Link now"

    "ok I love you"

    "syd why didn't you listen" but the only response he get is a ton of static>

    ~~~~later the doctor is telling syd the extent of her injuries~~~

    the doctor said"you should be alright tomarow and you can leave but you will limp and be sore for a few days, if you had gotton here any later you would have died from blood loss"

    "thanks"

    "here take this it will help with the pain"

    the door opens and Vaughn walks in

    THIS IS WHERE CHAPTER 2 STARTS AND WE GO FROM THERE do you get it ? any ways more later
     
  20. FrEeLaNcEr03

    FrEeLaNcEr03 Rocket Ranger

    Joined:
    Mar 29, 2003
    Great Story!! Who is vaughn married to??? Please tell me! write more soon!
     

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