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vaughns journal

Discussion in 'Creative Writing & Arts' started by IluvVaughn13, Mar 5, 2003.

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  1. IluvVaughn13

    IluvVaughn13 Vaughnster's Girl

    Joined:
    Dec 16, 2002
    Location:
    Where ever Michael Vartan is (-:
    sunday january 28th 2003,

    I wanted to start this journal because the days go bye so fast I just wanted to remember them. The other day was kinda of crazy. woke up with the rain pounding outside my window my alarm clock was screaming in my ear, I felt horrible. I slowly walked to the bathroom to take a nice warm shower, I usually feel ok after but I still felt horrible.

    I walked outside and felt the cold rain hit my face, I made me feel somewhat better.As I reached the CIA building I saw the most wonderful person walk by. Sydney was always dressed in a nice black suit, she looked amazing in what ever she put on. I stepped out of the car and ran up to her.

    She smiled as I came up to her. She asked me how I was feeling, I told her that I was fine, even thought I wasnt. We walked in together just as weiss ran up to us and told us we were late for a meeting. Kendall was passing out pictures of a rambaldi manuscript that Sloane is after, he wanted us to get it before he did.

    My head was starting to hurt again and i felt like i was going to pass out. Syd looked at me with worry in her face. Her cold hand touched my head, I relaxed again. She asked if I was ok, I wanted her to think I was a tough guy so I told her I was fine. Then as everyone was leaving and I was just starting to exit through the door. I felt like I couldnt breathe, I felt my whole body hit the floor and then everything went black.

    I hope you guys like this tell me what you think and if you want me to write more
     
  2. alias_16

    alias_16 Rocket Ranger

    Joined:
    Jan 25, 2003
    Location:
    Ontario, Canada
    its good, can u plz plz write more!!!???
     
  3. IluvVaughn13

    IluvVaughn13 Vaughnster's Girl

    Joined:
    Dec 16, 2002
    Location:
    Where ever Michael Vartan is (-:
    sure alias16 all write some more when i get home thanks
     
  4. alias_16

    alias_16 Rocket Ranger

    Joined:
    Jan 25, 2003
    Location:
    Ontario, Canada
    k good, because i was like so into it, and i cant wait till i get to read more! :)
     
  5. Kristina

    Kristina Rocket Ranger

    Joined:
    Feb 28, 2003
    Location:
    CHICAGO
    It's good keep on going!
     
  6. vavavavartan

    vavavavartan Captain

    Joined:
    Dec 13, 2002
    Keep writing.
     
  7. Alias*Kelli

    Alias*Kelli Rocket Ranger

    Joined:
    Jan 27, 2003
    Location:
    Wisconsin
    Very good story but try not to start a sentecne and continue it after you hit enter a few times it kind of hard to read like that. I don't know if you understant what I'm trying to say but I'm just trying to help. It is a very good story and I hope you write more soon!

    Kelli
     
  8. spysurfergrl247

    spysurfergrl247 Rocket Ranger

    Joined:
    Dec 18, 2002
    Location:
    Where the lovers lose...
    You have to write more!!its really good!! :D :D
     
  9. aliasjgfanaticmv

    aliasjgfanaticmv Rocket Ranger

    Joined:
    Jan 9, 2003
    Location:
    shouldn't matter to you where I live
    YES! WRITE MORE!! Please.
     
  10. kleverkitten

    kleverkitten Rocket Ranger

    Joined:
    Feb 26, 2003
    This is a great start, and I'm definitely interested in more! You might want to capitalize your "I's" and check spelling. This story definitely has potential though! (y)
     
  11. aliaschick4mv

    aliaschick4mv Rocket Ranger

    Joined:
    Feb 26, 2003
    Location:
    East Coast
    I love it! Write more!! AAHHH VAUGHN'S UNCONCIOUS!!!
     
  12. Alias Elle

    Alias Elle Rocket Ranger

    Joined:
    Dec 1, 2002
    Location:
    Los Angeles, CA
    Huh?

    Okay, the breaks in paragraph were really weird, I don't know if that was you or just how you copied and pasted. Also, try to be a little more descriptive. I know you're going for the mysterious side, but this is a little too mysterious.

    ~Me :angel2:
     
  13. ILuvMichael

    ILuvMichael Rocket Ranger

    Joined:
    Jan 26, 2003
    i loved it!
     
  14. alias_16

    alias_16 Rocket Ranger

    Joined:
    Jan 25, 2003
    Location:
    Ontario, Canada
    r u gonna write n e more??? its very interesting
     
  15. Scarlet Crystal

    Scarlet Crystal Bibbity Rabbity

    Joined:
    Dec 30, 2002
    Location:
    Narnia
    wow! this is great? will you continue it?
     
  16. Alias*Kelli

    Alias*Kelli Rocket Ranger

    Joined:
    Jan 27, 2003
    Location:
    Wisconsin
    I agree with Alias Elle. It is a good story though.

    Kelli
     
  17. nancee

    nancee Rocket Ranger

    Joined:
    Feb 26, 2003
    Location:
    from da hood
    oOoOo kool story.....write more..its good..
     
  18. Alias Elle

    Alias Elle Rocket Ranger

    Joined:
    Dec 1, 2002
    Location:
    Los Angeles, CA
    :shamefullyembarrased:

    ~Me :angel2:
     
  19. IluvVaughn13

    IluvVaughn13 Vaughnster's Girl

    Joined:
    Dec 16, 2002
    Location:
    Where ever Michael Vartan is (-:
    thanks everyone for your nice comments and great help i will be writing more tomorrow dont worry thanks for the tips.
     
  20. Alias Elle

    Alias Elle Rocket Ranger

    Joined:
    Dec 1, 2002
    Location:
    Los Angeles, CA
    You're welcome... :shamefullyembarrased:
     

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