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Why the chicken crossed the road.

Discussion in 'Open Chat' started by Kara, Mar 15, 2003.

  1. Kara

    Kara eternally nostalgic

    Joined:
    Apr 26, 2003
    Location:
    under your bed
    I read this, and thought some people may enjoy it. So here we go:

    "Why did the chicken cross the road?"

    George Bush's Answer:
    We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road or not. The chicken is either with us or it is against us. There is no middle ground here.

    Al Gore's Answer:
    I invented the chicken. I invented the road. Therefore, the chicken crossing the road represented the application of these two different functions of government in a new, reinvented way designed to bring greater services to the American people.

    Bill Gates' Answer:
    I have just released eChicken 2003, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your checkbook - and Internet Explorer is an inextricable part of eChicken.

    Martha Stewart's Answer:
    No one called to warn me which way that chicken was going. I had a
    standing order at the farmer's market to sell my eggs when the price dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any insider information.

    Dr. Seuss' Answer:
    Did the chicken cross the road?
    Did he cross it with a toad?
    Yes, the chicken crossed the road,
    But why it crossed, I've not been told!

    Ernest Hemingway's Answer:
    To die. In the rain. Alone.

    Martin Luther King Jr's Answer:
    I envision a world where all chickens will be free to cross roads without having their motives called into question.

    Grandpa's Answer:
    In my day, we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Someone told us that the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough for us.

    Barbara Walters' Answer:
    Isn't that interesting? In a few moments we will be listening to the
    chicken tell, for the first time, the heart-warming story of how it
    experienced a serious case of molting and went on to accomplish its
    life-long dream of crossing the road.

    Jerry Seinfield's Answer:
    Why does anyone cross a road? I mean, why doesn't anyone ever think to ask, "What the heck was this chicken doing walking around all over the place anyway?"

    Pat Buchanan's Answer:
    To steal a job from a decent, hard-working American.

    Rush Limbaugh's Answer:
    I don't know why the chicken crossed the road, but I'll bet it was getting a government grant to cross the road, and I'll bet someone out there is already forming a support group to help chickens with crossing-the-road syndrome. Can you believe this? How much more of this can real Americans take? Chickens crossing the road paid for by their tax dollars, and when I say tax dollars, I'm talking about your money, money the government took from you to build roads for chickens to cross.

    Jerry Falwell's Answer:
    Because the chicken was gay! Isn't it obvious? Can't you people see the plain truth in front of your face? The chicken was going to the "other side." That's what they call it -- the other side. Yes, my friends, that chicken is gay. And, if you eat that hicken, you will become gay too. I say we boycott all chickens until we sort out this abomination that the liberal media whitewashes with seemingly harmless phrases like "the other side.".

    John Lennon's Answer:
    Imagine all the chickens crossing roads in peace.

    Saddam Hussein's Answer:
    This was an unprovoked act of rebellion and we were quite justified in
    dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on it.

    Captain Kirk's Answer:
    To boldly go where no chicken has gone before.

    Fox Mulder's Answer:
    You saw it cross the road with your own eyes! How many more chickens have to cross before you believe it?

    Scully's Answer:
    It was a simple bio-mechanical reflex that is commonly found in chickens.

    Bill Clinton's Answer:
    I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What do you mean by chicken? Could you define chicken, please?

    The Bible's Answer:
    And God came down from the heavens, and He said unto the chicken, "Thou shalt cross the road." And the chicken crossed the road, and there was much rejoicing.

    Albert Einstein's Answer:
    Did the chicken really cross the road or did the road move beneath the
    chicken?

    Sigmund Freud's Answer:
    The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken crossed the road reveals your underlying sexual insecurity.

    L.A.P.D.'s Answer:
    Give me ten minutes with the chicken and I'll find out.

    Richard Nixon's Answer:
    The chicken did not cross the road. I repeat, the chicken did not cross the road.

    Buddha's Answer:
    If you ask this question, you deny your own chicken nature.

    Oliver Stone's Answer:
    The question is not "Why did the chicken cross the road?" but is rather "Who was crossing the road at the same time whom we overlooked in our haste to observe the chicken crossing?"

    The Pope's Answer:
    That is only for God to know.

    O.J. Simpson's Answer:
    It didn't. I was playing golf with it at the time.

    And finally:

    Colonel Sanders' Answer:
    I missed one?
     
  2. rotflmao. hehehe so funny :D
    --mandy :angelic:
     
  3. a.k.a.Kate_Jones

    a.k.a.Kate_Jones Rocket Ranger

    Joined:
    Dec 13, 2002
    Location:
    behind you.
    :LOL: omg, these are so funny!
     
  4. alias8000

    alias8000 Rocket Ranger

    Joined:
    May 26, 2003
  5. SiriCerasi

    SiriCerasi Rocket Ranger

    Joined:
    Dec 8, 2002
    Location:
    CA
    :ROFLMAO: these are great!!
     
  6. *Agent Legolas*

    *Agent Legolas* Rocket Ranger

    Joined:
    Feb 26, 2003
    Location:
    Southern California
    Those are really funny!! :D :LOL: ^_^ :jump: :joker: :sideroll: (y) :ROFLMAO: :clap:
     
  7. aliaschick4mv

    aliaschick4mv Rocket Ranger

    Joined:
    Feb 26, 2003
    Location:
    East Coast
    OMG I got this e-mail from my friend!!! LOL
     
  8. Freelancer598

    Freelancer598 Rocket Ranger

    Joined:
    Mar 8, 2003
    Location:
    USA
    LOL, thats really funny!!!
     
  9. Giggles

    Giggles Captain

    Joined:
    Jan 28, 2003
    :LOL: :LOL: :LOL:
    thoose are really really funny

    (y) (y)
     
  10. SydneyandVaughn

    SydneyandVaughn Rocket Ranger

    Joined:
    Feb 26, 2003
    Location:
    Maine
    That is absolutely hilarious!!!!!!! :LOL: :sideroll: :ROFLMAO: :clap: Ha ha!!
     
  11. aliasjgfanaticmv

    aliasjgfanaticmv Rocket Ranger

    Joined:
    Jan 9, 2003
    Location:
    shouldn't matter to you where I live
    LMAO!! Why didn't I read this before? Oh well, I read it now, that's what counts!! :ROFLMAO: I'm gonna be laughing for a loooong time now!
     
  12. btvaughn

    btvaughn Rocket Ranger

    Joined:
    Dec 7, 2002
    Location:
    Ohio
    That is definitely my laugh for the day!!!!!
     
  13. kylo4

    kylo4 Rocket Ranger

    Joined:
    Mar 12, 2003
    Location:
    Canada
    Pretty funny. That was cool!!!!!!!!!!
     
  14. Azhria Lilu

    Azhria Lilu Rocket Ranger

    Joined:
    Nov 18, 2002
    Location:
    Derbyshire, UK
    Yeah I saw that --- too funny :LOL:
     
  15. AliasHombre

    AliasHombre Rocket Ranger

    Joined:
    Mar 2, 2003
    Location:
    Meeeeeshigan
  16. Chanel

    Chanel Rocket Ranger

    Joined:
    Feb 26, 2003
    oh my god!!!!!!!!!!!!!that was ahlarious
     
  17. SydB_JenG

    SydB_JenG Rocket Ranger

    Joined:
    Mar 1, 2003
    Location:
    USA, Virginia/Utah
    LMAO!!! PLOP *sound off ass falling on floor*...THAT WAS HILARIOUS!!! Wow...thanx so much for posting!
     
  18. turnipcouch134

    turnipcouch134 Rocket Ranger

    Joined:
    Mar 1, 2003
    Location:
    California
    thats funny!
     
  19. Lilly

    Lilly Rocket Ranger

    Joined:
    Feb 26, 2003
    LOL! That is soooo funny! i don't know half of them though, but the grandpa one was spot on, Bill Clinton too!LOL! does anyone have any more?
     
  20. Bondgal2007

    Bondgal2007 Rocket Ranger

    Joined:
    Feb 26, 2003
    ROTFLMAO!
     

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