1. Our web server is getting tweaked this week and as a result some links are behaving strange. We're working on getting everything back to normal ASAP.
    Dismiss Notice
Dismiss Notice
Alien Soup is a free community for fans of science-fiction, horror, & fantasy! Everybody is welcome here.

Wife V1.0

Discussion in 'Open Chat' started by Tim, Mar 20, 2005.

  1. Tim

    Tim Creative Writer

    Joined:
    Jan 16, 2005
    Location:
    England
    Dear Tech Support,

    Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0 and noticed that the new program began unexpected child processing that took up a lot of new space and valuable resources. No mention of this phenomenon was included in the product brochure.

    In addition, Wife 1.0 installs itself into all other programs and launches during system initialization, where it monitors all other system activity. Applications such as Poker Night 10.3, Drunken Boys Night 2.5 and Saturday Football 5.0 no longer run, crashing the system whenever selected.

    I cannot seem to keep wife 1.0 in the background while attempting to run some of my other favorite applications. I am thinking about going back to Girlfriend 7.0, but the uninstall does not work on this program.

    Can you please help me !!!???

    Thanks,
    A TROUBLED USER


    *****************************************************************
    *****************************************************************


    Dear TROUBLED USER,

    This is a very common problem men complain about, but is mostly due to a primary misconception. Many people upgrade from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0 with the idea that Wife 1.0 is merely a UTILITIES & ENTERTAINMENT program. Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM and designed by it's creator to run everything.

    It is unlikely you would be able to purge Wife 1.0 and still convert back to Girlfriend 7.0. Hidden operating files within your system would cause Girlfriend 7.0 to emulate Wife 1.0 so nothing is gained. It is impossible to uninstall, delete, or purge the program files from the system once installed. You cannot go back to Girlfriend 7.0 because Wife 1.0 is not designed to do this.

    Some have tried to install Girlfriend 8.0 or Wife 2.0 but end up with more problems than the original system. Look in your manual under "Warnings- Alimony/Child support". I recommend you keep Wife 1.0 and deal with the situation.

    I suggest installing background application program C:YES DEAR to alleviate software augmentation. Having installed Wife 1.0 myself, I might also suggest you read the entire section regarding General Partnership Faults (GPFs). You must assume all responsibility for faults and problems that might occur, regardless of their cause. The best course of action will be to enter the command C:APOLOGIZE. In any case avoid excessive use of C:YES DEAR because ultimately you may have to give the APOLOGIZE command before the operating system will return to normal. The system will run smoothly as long as you take the blame for all the GPFs.

    Wife 1.0 is a great program, but very high-maintenance. Consider buying additional software to improve the performance of Wife 1.0. I recommend Flowers 3.1 and Diamonds 2K. Do not, under any circumstances install Secretary with Short Skirt 3.3. This is not a supported application for Wife 1.0 and is likely to cause irreversible damage to the operating system.

    Best of Luck,
    Tech Support
     
  2. Tom

    Tom An Old Friend

    Joined:
    Dec 6, 2004
    Location:
    Gulf Coast
    Very Good!
     
  3. Kevin

    Kevin Code Monkey Staff Abductee

    Joined:
    Mar 20, 2004
    Location:
    Pennsylvania
    My wife browses these forums so I can't comment! :p
     
  4. Tom

    Tom An Old Friend

    Joined:
    Dec 6, 2004
    Location:
    Gulf Coast
    I've defragmented!
     
  5. hayden

    hayden scribbler/scribe

    Joined:
    Feb 15, 2005
    Location:
    england
    interesting - used Wife 1.0 up until approx 8 years ago until i discovered there were other unauthorised users. Converted to Girlfriend 8.0 and was very happy despite viruses left by Wife 1.0 -did get two child processors which I'm happy with. However gained two more with girlfriend 8.0 and even arranged new upgrade to Wife 2.0 which promptly ordered new casing and appropriate documentation. Due unforseen events this was cancelled twice and now is being 'suggested' again along with acquistion of more child processors. Now considering removal of keyboard/mouse. Any suggestions?
     
  6. Tim

    Tim Creative Writer

    Joined:
    Jan 16, 2005
    Location:
    England
    Well, it doesn't follow true, gate logic has been reversed in my system. Girlfriend v7.0 became Wife v1.0 and due to the twin processors on our Mobo, a spawn of of subroutines was created leading to a LAN networking with 7 indivdual users interacting successfully.

    Unfortunately there was a bad connection with Wife V1.0 leading to a systems crash which i think was due to Spyware and Trojans causing the system slowing on and incorrect parameters being shown.

    Wife V1.0 was inaccessible for a while until a full format was carried out where the previous Wife V1.0 lost all it's updates and reverted to Girlfriend V7.0 again.

    I am thinking about upgrading again, unfortunately when i browsed through the controls i found that the upgrade button is missing now. although i am currently using an older version of the software, it is still useful and carries out essential tasks much as before. this situation will continue until a better piece of software arrives on the market, with better specs, more powerful logic aptitude and an understanding for my setup.
     
  7. Tom

    Tom An Old Friend

    Joined:
    Dec 6, 2004
    Location:
    Gulf Coast
    My dinosaur pc runs wife 1.0 perfectly but the child utilities keep needing defragmenting and realignments.
     
  8. seeker of truth

    seeker of truth Scout

    Joined:
    Apr 15, 2005
    Location:
    Planet Earth, Milky Way Galaxy
    Wife 1.1, the latest upgrade, does not process children, as that function caused numerous breakdowns in the original program. As for the other glitches in the Wife program, we continue to attempt to fix these flaws; our ultimate goal is perfection.
    Unfortunately, the ideal you are looking for may take forever to create, so I suggest you do the best you can with the current program you have.

    Signed,

    The Complaints Department (Now leave us alone, we are overworked enough as it is!);)
     

Share This Page