A Life of Loss

Chapter Fourteen

Sydney drove into Paris and stopped when she reached the train station. She parked the car and she went inside of the building, the place was full of people. People from different countries speaking different languages. She just sat on a bench and took in everything, and thought about the previous night.

What would she do if Sark told her he loved her? What would she say? Could she ever say it to him? What were her feelings about him?

She sat and thought. If her relationship with him was going to continue, she needed to talk to him about last night.

Two Hours Later

Sark had been trying to find Sydney for two hours. He didn’t want to leave the house in case she came back, but he was tapping into many security feeds all over Paris to see if he could find her. By the time he thought of the train station he heard the front door open. He ran to the door as fast as he possibly could and stopped when he saw her.

She looked so broken and confused.

“You’re back” he said softly.

She noticed his presence and looked up at him. Her face looked tired.

“Yeah” she replied moments later.

“Where did you go?” He spoke to her softly, so he didn’t startle her.

“The train station” she paused and looked down at her hands, “Julian, I need to talk to you about something.”

“Sure,” he walked up to her and took her hand and they went into the living room and sat on the sofa “we can talk” he couldn’t help but think that this was the end, that she was about to leave him.

“What scared you so badly that you had to run away this morning?”

“It was something you said,” she paused looking at him, he was really confused, “while you were sleeping. I woke up this morning and everything was perfect, I was just lying in your arms and I was so contempt. Then I heard you mumble my name in your sleep. That was alright, it’s not that bad if you mumble my name, but what you said after that just scared me a little. You said ‘I love you’.”

“Oh” there was nothing else that he could say. She’s scared of me loving her? What? He thought.

“It isn’t you loving me that scared me, it was the thought of not being able to return that love. If you told me that you love me right now, I don’t think I could say it to you too. It’s just too soon for that.”

When she paused, he wanted to voice his main concern, “Are you leaving?”

She looked at him wide-eyed, “No! Not unless you want me to…”

“I don’t, I really, really don’t want you to leave.”

She smiled weakly. “I’m sorry for scaring you this morning.” Sark put his arm around her shoulder and she leaned into his side, placing her head on his shoulder.

“It’s okay. You came back” he kissed the top of her head.

“Julian, I’m sorry for everything. I kind of ruined the morning after, didn’t I?” she laughed, and that was the moment that he knew everything would be ok.

“Well what did you think of last night then?”

She pursed her lips, then bit down on her bottom lip. “Well, it was sort of…” she paused and looked into his eyes, “perfect” she saw only his desire for her.

“My thoughts exactly” he said, then he kissed her softly, “what would you say to breakfast?”

“I wouldn’t object” she replied when her stomach growled. He laughed at her and they went to the kitchen together.

* * * * * *

Eating Breakfast

“Julian, you have an extra bedroom right? Because Weiss is coming tomorrow and I wanted to be sure that there’s an extra –“

“Sydney, there is more than one extra room in this place, believe me.”

“I just wanted to be sure.”

“Any other questions?”

“Yeah, is your real last name Sark?”

“No, it’s Lazarey.”

“Right! I knew that.”

“I’m sure you did.”

* * * * * *

The Next Day

Sydney left in the morning to pick up Weiss at the airport. It was odd because Sark felt lonely without her at the house. It was so empty without her. But she would be back soon. He didn’t want to go to the airport with her because Weiss didn’t know about him yet, and it was better for the CIA agent to scream and yell in his secluded house than in front of many at the airport.

It had been over two hours when she returned. She opened the door and he heard Weiss compliment the house, he smiled to himself. He heard Sydney call out to him, but he didn’t move until he was sure the front door was closed.

“Julian” she called.

He heard her tell Weiss who it was, or at least he figured that’s what she was telling him when he heard someone scream “WHAT?!” from the front hall.

He came in the room to a steaming Weiss and Sydney trying not to break down after seeing her friend’s great disapproval. “Weiss, please, just listen to me. I really care about him alright? Please, Weiss you mean so much to me. I wanted you to come here and see what he’s really like. Not what you think he’s like.”

Weiss turned to look at Sark and he was wide-eyed. “Mr Weiss, I’m sorry this is such a shock to you, but I-“

“Sydney, you’re really doing this?” she nodded. “I can’t believe this! He’s a criminal Sydney! A terrorist! Do you really want to do something that could ruin your life like this?”

“Look Eric, I know you’re not happy about this, but I really need you to understand.” Sydney walked over to him and took his hands. “I’m really happy right now. I’m happier than I have been in a long time. I was killing myself over Vaughn and this is just what I need. Can you please try and deal with the issues?”

“I don’t think I can truly understand your reasons, but…” he paused and thought about how happy she had looked when she picked him up at the airport. “I guess I can try.”

Sydney squealed and jumped onto Weiss hugging him tightly. “Thank you Wiess! I love you!”

He looked over at Sark, “So I take it that I don’t have to give you the ‘if you hurt her I’ll kill you’ speech?”

“I won’t hurt her.” Sark replied with a nod.

“I’ll show you to your room Weiss” Sydney said, smiling. Sark noticed that she was glowing. He had never seen her this happy.

They were out of the foyer carrying his bags and Sark just watched them leave the room. He was surprised as to how much Eric Weiss cared about Sydney. He had expected anger from him over what Sydney was doing to her life, but the acceptance that she had received from him was something that surprised him.

* * * * * *

Sydney and Weiss walked through the hallway and Sydney was telling him all about the previous few weeks.

“So it started out with me taking my first holiday since… well… ever. And I ran into Sark in the same hotel. I was debating whether or not to take him into custody when people started shooting at us.”

“Why do these things only ever happen to you?” he asked smiling.

“I don’t know, people just keep getting stuck on ruining Sydney’s life. So we got away, and he told me about how he’s gotten out of the spy world. We went shopping,” at Weiss’ look she explained, “We needed clothes. We were wearing sweats and in Paris, and we weren’t exactly out for a jog. So then we went to dinner and he was explaining why he left, and how he felt about me when the same people attacked us. I was shot and he saved my life. Now I’m here and I’ve healed and I’m finally happy.”

“So what’s happened between you guys? I don’t want many details, but I want to know how serious this is.”

“It’s getting serious. The other night, after the first time we… well… um… you get it. He was mumbling in his sleep and I heard him say ‘I love you’.” Weiss gasped. “Naturally, I freaked out and I ran away to the train station for a while to think.”

“You do that a lot don’t you. Go to the train station.”

“I do. Well when I came back, I talked to him and we worked everything out. Weiss, I really care about him. I want this to work out. You can’t tell anyone about this, about where we are. I don’t want him to be taken away from me. Do you understand?”

“Yes Sydney, I understand, and I won’t tell anyone. I can see how much this means to you.”

“Thank you so much Weiss. So, is there anything you’d like to do now?”

“Well, how about I go talk to your new boyfriend. See what his intentions are with my best friend.”

“Weiss, just don’t do anything to piss him off. The last thing I need is to have to clean up Weiss out of the carpet.”

“Hey, I could take him.”

“I know you could sweetheart” she said pinching his cheeks.

“I’m offended. Just because he’s tougher and better looking and better than me doesn’t mean that he could beat me when it comes to you.”

* * * * * *

Sark was in his study, looking over the files and information he had on the Covenant. And he was horrified when a name came up on the screen. It seemed that there was a new employee working for the Covenant.

Arvin Sloane.

* * * * * *


Chapter Fifteen

“Julian?” he heard her call from the living room. “Where are you?”

“I’m in the study.”

“Can you come to the living room? Weiss wants to talk to you.”

“I’ll be right there” he printed off the information about Arvin Sloane and prepared himself for the inevitable. Sydney was going to be hurting, and he didn’t want it to happen, but she needed to know.

“Weiss, come on! I was not that drunk.”

“Sydney you were totally hitting on me! But I couldn’t do anything, because it would have hurt Vaughn.”

“Oh so it wouldn’t hurt me, the morning after, but all you cared about was Vaughn? I’m hurt Weiss. I’m hurt” she pouted.

“Oh Sydney, you know how I love you.”

Sark walked into the room with the papers in his hands and the moment Sydney saw his face, she knew something serious was about to happen. “Does Weiss know what’s going on, Syd?” he asked her.

“Basically.”

“I found something else. You’re not going to like it.”

“I don’t like anything that causes you to have that serious look. So who’s betrayed me now?”

Weiss looked at her shocked. “Syd, not everyone you care about is betraying you.”

She looked at him and shook her head. She pinched his cheeks and spoke to him in a baby voice “you are so clueless aren’t you?”

“Syd,” Sark spoke up again. “The Covenant hired a new man for the hit on you.”

“Julian!” she pleaded “Please just tell me who it is.”

“Arvin Sloane.”

Sydney paled and stopped breathing. Weiss froze. “What?!” he screamed. “I’m working for that man!”

“How are you working for him?” Sydney asked, “I thought he would be in CIA custody! Not your boss!”

“You know how I ‘resigned’ from the CIA?” Sydney nodded, Sark had no idea that he had resigned, “Well, I was asked to join a black-ops unit in the CIA. Like a real SD-6. But I didn’t know when I signed on who my boss was. Imagine my surprise when I see Arvin Sloane in the briefing room, and not in handcuffs.”

Sydney was frozen. Sark walked up to her and held her hand. “Why does this keep happening?! Don’t people understand who he is? What he does? Why do they continue to put their trust in him?!”

“Sydney,” Sark pulled her into his arms, Weiss looked a little shocked when he saw this, “I’m sure that they will stop him.”

“Weiss, I’m going to stop him. Julian, Simon and I will stop him. I’m going to make him pay for ruining my life time and again.”

“Simon? Who’s Simon?” Weiss asked.

“Simon Walker. He’s alive. We’re working with him to bring the Covenant down.”

“Woah, this is news to me. I had no idea that he was still alive. I mean, I heard him die over the coms!”

“Well it’s not hard to fake someone’s death Weiss. They’ve faked mine, and Julian’s.”

“And Allie’s” Sark added, receiving a cold glare from both Sydney and Weiss.

“Julian, please don’t bring her up right now.”

“Sorry, love” he looked down at the ground.

“Syd, you’ve got him so whipped” Weiss said happily, Sydney laughed and Sark looked like he could kill him in an instant.

“Julian, we have to put a stop to this. Weiss, would you be able to help us out with this?” he nodded “We’ll need you to update us on Sloane’s location. Whether or not he’s in the country. Just don’t talk to anyone about this. Vaughn is the only person who can know. Do not under any circumstances involve my father or Nadia. She’ll be heartbroken, and my father could be in on it. He’s unpredictable.”

“Of course Syd.”

“Ok, so you call us every night, or email us. Just it has to be through a secure server. Give us all the information you can. We need to take him down. For all the people that he’s hurt.”

“Syd” Julian spoke, “We’ll get him for what he’s done to you. I understand that you need to bring him down.”

She smiled at him, “He took too much away from me. He took my life, Danny’s, Francie’s… then he took two years of my life. And now he’s trying to kill me. Plus, he put your life in danger. Now he’s tricked the CIA into letting him work for them. I can’t stand him! He needs to be brought down.”

“We’ll do that Syd” Weiss spoke up.

“Thanks you guys. You don’t know how much this means to me. You’re doing so much.”

“He’s taken something from all of us.”

They went to the kitchen and talked about their plans to bring him down while making lunch.

* * * * * *

“Weiss, I remember earlier that you wanted to talk to Julian about something… If you’d like, I can leave you two alone for a bit, so you can talk.” Sydney offered.

“Ok.” Weiss said.

“I’ll be on the balcony” Sydney said standing up from the table. She went over to Sark and kissed him softly, then headed out to the balcony.

“So Mr Weiss, what is it you’d like to talk about?”

“First off, it’s Eric, or Weiss. You’re dating my best friend in the world, so you can call me by my name.”

“Eric then, what would you like to talk about?”

“Sydney. She’s been through a lot Sark, I want to be sure that this isn’t just some fling. I want to make sure that you won’t play around with her and break her heart.”

“I have no intention of doing so. And if I’m calling you by your first name, Eric, you should call me Julian. But if you’re more comfortable with Sark, then by all means, continue.”

“Julian, I don't know if you’re aware, but Sydney’s birthday is on Friday. I don’t even know if she remembers. But I think that we should plan something for her. Something special.”

“What do you think we should do?”

“Well, I was thinking about a double date. My girlfriend is flying into Paris on Thursday for a business meeting and she’s been wanting to meet Sydney. Do you think we could do something like that?”

“Of course! I think that would be perfect. I know Sydney loves dancing. Do you think we should take the girls for a night in Paris, dinner and dancing in one of the clubs?”

“Jennifer loves dancing! We haven’t been yet. Oh, what would the dress code be?”

“Formal. Sydney loves dressing up. She proved that to me the other night” Sark blushed.

“Is the infamous, stone-cold Mr Sark blushing?! I think he is!”

Sark coughed. “Well, I can make the arrangements tonight. Would you be able to get a hold of a tux by then?”

“Yeah, sure.”

“Alright then. I’ll go get Sydney. And Weiss, don’t let this slip.”

He pretended to zip his lips shut. Sark walked to the balcony where Sydney was bathing in the sun with her eyes closed and a sun hat guarding her face from the sunlight.

“Syd?”

She looked at him and stood. Giving him a once-over, feeling his body with her hands, “Syd, what are you doing?”

She smiled at him “I’m checking for wounds. I just want to make sure that you aren’t dead.”

He laughed, “I can assure you that neither Eric nor I am injured.”

“You called him Eric!”

“Yes, love” he kissed her forehead. “How about we go back inside. Eric is probably wanting to tell you something.”

“Weiss, what do you want to tell me?”

“Huh?” he looked at her confused. “Oh right! Well, Jennifer is flying into Paris in two days, so you can meet her.”

She looked at him, “Jennifer?”

“My girlfriend!”

“Oh the girl you told me about on the phone! You never mentioned her name Weiss.”

“Well, I’m sorry about that, but we were kind of talking about something else at the time.”

“So why don’t you tell me about her?” Sydney asked. Sark stood and whispered in her ear that he was going to work in the study, she kissed him softly and he left the room.

“She’s perfect Syd. She’s got brown hair, deep chocolate brown eyes, she’s tall and beautiful. We’ve been dating since a couple of weeks after you left, so we’re going on three months. And well, I’m so in love with her. I’m going to tell her when she’s here because, Hello?! Paris?! The city of love… Actually our three month anniversary is on Friday! That’s so perfect!”

“Weiss, I love you! You’re such a romantic” she kissed his forehead.

“Well, I need to go into Paris tomorrow with Sar-Julian, so I can rent a tux. I’m going to surprise Jen with dinner for our anniversary. I can’t believe I’ve been with her for a quarter of a year!”

“You’re so cute. I’ll talk to Julian about that in a minute. I just want to tell you something” she paused, “I’m leaving the CIA. I’m leaving New York and I’m going to be living here for a while.”

“Well this is a shock.”

“I can’t exactly take down Sloane when I’m working for the same company, now can I?’

“I guess not. But Syd, have you really thought this through?”

“Yeah. And I’ve talked to Julian about it, he’s fine with me staying with him.”

“If you’re sure, and he’s ok with it, then I can’t argue. Plus, you’ll be living in France, outside Paris! How exciting is that?!”

“Very” she smiled.

“Well, I’ll go un pack now, if you don’t mind. I kind of feel like taking a little nap. I’m a little jet-lagged.”

“Go ahead!”

* * * * * *

“Julian” Sydney knocked on his study door “can I come in?” she asked.

“Of course Sydney” he replied.

“Weiss was wondering if he could take you into Paris tomorrow so he could rent a tux. It’s his three month anniversary with his girlfriend on Friday, so he wants to look all fancy-like” she said smiling.

“Of course. But only if you’ll come with us. I’ll try on tuxes too, and you can watch both of your boys look fancy. And if you come, I’ll buy you a fancy dress.”

“How could I say no to that? You in a tux and a new dress? There’s no other answer” she kissed him softly and sat on his lap. “You really don’t mind me being here do you?”

“Of course not. I don’t want you to ever think that you have to leave. You’re always welcome here.”

They sat like that for a while. Sark didn’t know how long it was until he realized that an hour had passed and Sydney was asleep in his arms, her head on his shoulder.

He picked her up and carried her to the bedroom, and Weiss was just leaving his. He saw the sleeping Sydney in Sark’s arms and was silent. He opened the door for him and Sark nodded his thanks to him. As Sark laid Sydney down on the bed, Weiss watched from the doorway. His only thoughts while watching this action were she’s so peaceful and beautiful and, he’s totally in love with her.

He watched him kiss her forehead and whisper something that he couldn’t hear into her ear and tucked her under the covers carefully. It was odd to see someone who was so ruthless and violent be so caring and soft.

Sark turned and saw Weiss watching him and they left the room quietly, closing the door behind them.

When they got to the living room, Sark looked at the clock and noticed the time. It was 8:30. Where did the day go? He wondered. “Eric, we should eat something for dinner. I expect Sydney is out for the night.”

“Yeah sure. What do you have?”

“I’m not sure. I don’t really cook that much. Sydney has been doing that, but I’m sure there’s something.” They opened the fridge and found some pasta, ham and various cheeses and vegetables. “See? There’s food.”

They just ate what they felt like. Grabbing little things from the fridge when they wanted. An hour later they were talking to each other about their girlfriends over tequila. They were both a little drunk. “Don’t kill me Eric, but…” Sark paused when Weiss burst out into laughter.

“HA! When you say ‘Eric’” he imitated Sark, “it’s so… just so… BRITISH!” and they both fell into another fit of giggles.

“Well, don’t kill me, but I’m SO in love with Sydney. I’d do anything for her.”

“I know” he laughed, “I love her too. Just not that way. I saw how you feel when you put her in the bed today. You are SO hooked.”

“Well, you’re the same way!” Weiss looked at him surprised, “not with Sydney” he stumbled “Sydney, of course. You’re that way when you talk about Jennifer. You are going to marry her. I can just tell.”

“Did you know that I'm psychic?”

“No, I didn’t!”

“Well I am!”

“That's good to know. I’ll be sure to ask you to read Sydney’s mind in the morning. But for now, I’m going to go and join her in bed.”

“I’ll see you tomorrow!” And they both stumbled off to their different beds.

Sark let his clothes fall to the floor and got into bed next to Sydney and pulled her sloppily into his arms. Thankfully she did not wake, and he soon fell asleep.

* * * * * *


Please review!!! :D
 
Hey guys, sorry for the lack of updates. I've been busy. Tonight my friends are playing a gig, so I'm in a good mood. Here's the next THREE CHAPTERS! (I want to get this fic finished soon...)

Chapter Sixteen

Thursday – Two days later

“Syd! Come on, she’ll be here in an hour!” Weiss screamed from outside her door. Julian and Sydney were still inside their room, getting dressed after first-thing in the morning love making…

They emerged from the room with dishevelled hair and flushed cheeks, but they were wearing clothes and otherwise looked acceptable.

“Do NOT tell me what happened in there” both Sydney and Sark exchanged a goofy grin and a laugh as they looked back at Weiss “God, you guys are like two love-sick teenagers.”

Sark put his arm around Sydney’s shoulders and pulled her close to him, and she sighed, “we are aren’t we?” she said.

“So Eric, this girl of yours, what does she do?” Sark asked.

“She works for the CIA, she was hired a few months before Sydney left. She’s an analyst. So I don’t have to worry about her getting shot at every time she goes on a business trip. Oh and by the way, she’s SO excited to meet you Syd. And she won’t tell a soul about you Sark. I mean Julian” he corrected quickly, “Sorry man, it’s gonna take some time.”

“I get it” Sark answered.

Sark took Sydney’s arm and they walked to the car. He opened the door for her and kissed her hand, she giggled and rolled her eyes.

* * * * * *

The plane had landed, Weiss, Sydney and Sark were in the arrivals area of the airport waiting for Jennifer. Weiss was moving from side to side because he was so happy and excited to see his girlfriend for the first time in three days. They haven’t spent much time apart in their relationship Sydney thought, neither have Julian and I.

Jennifer came through the door and Weiss ran up to her, she met him halfway with a big smile and a passionate kiss. “I missed you” Sydney overheard. She smiled. Sark must have heard this too, or maybe it was just from the public display of affection, because he pulled Sydney to him and kissed her forehead and held her to his chest.

She smiled and sighed against his chest. Weiss walked to them holding Jen’s hand, “Syd, this is Jen, Jen this is Syd. And this is Sydney’s boyfriend Julian. He’s the one you can’t say a word about.”

“I get it” she said. She looked at Sydney and smiled, “Eric has told me so much about you. Mostly about either you and Vaughn, or your famous nights with Tequila” she laughed.

Sydney blushed and Weiss laughed, “There were a lot of those weren’t there Syd?” Weiss asked.

Sark looked at Sydney with a goofy grin, “Nothing happened that I should worry about, right love?”

She kissed him softly, “Nothing at all” she turned to Jen, “Well, I can imagine that you’re wiped out from the flight, so why don’t we go home?”

“Sounds good,” Jen replied, “So where do you live?”

“Well, I live in New York right now, but I’m staying at Julian’s. He has a place outside Paris, and if you’re anything like me, you’ll love it. It’s incredible.”

They got Jen’s bags from the baggage check and headed back to the car. Sark got into the driver’s side and said “Fasten your seatbelts” and they were off.

* * * * * *

“Wow!” Jen said when the house came into view, “This is incredible. I’ve always dreamed of living in a place like this.”

“Well, you haven’t even seen the back yet. There are lilies and roses everywhere in the garden,” said Sydney, beaming with excitement.

“Syd, why don’t you show Jennifer around the place, while Eric and I take her bags to their room” Sark said.

“OK!” both girls replied, kissing their boyfriends on their cheeks.

When both girls were out of earshot, the boys began to plan the next night. “Eric, I just realized that Sydney has been here for almost five weeks, and we’ve been together for almost four. I can’t believe she’s stayed with me that long.”

“I can’t either. I’m still shocked she hasn’t tried to kill you a few times.”

“Yeah. So about tomorrow night… we’ve got everything planned right?”

“I think so. I rented my tux yesterday, I need to pick it up tomorrow morning, which I can do when the ladies are getting ready… Can I borrow a car for that?”

“I have to go into town as well, to pick up something for Sydney that I had ordered. So I’ll go with you.”

“Sure. And you made the reservations right?”

“Of course. They’re for 7:30. And then we take them dancing.”

“Sydney hasn’t mentioned her birthday once yet has she?”

“No, nothing to me. How old is she this year?”

“She’s turning 29. Do you think she’s forgotten? Or do you think she just wants to keep it low-key?”

“I don’t know, but there must be something behind it. It’s not like her to forget the date. I think I’ll talk to her about it.”

“Ok. So do you think that we should keep this as a surprise?”

“I think we should keep the anniversary part secret, but I think we should tell Sydney about her birthday. I think something’s wrong, and I don’t want her to go through anything alone.”

* * * * * *

As the boys were talking about their plans and their girls, Sydney and Jen were outside in the backyard talking about the boys.

“Julian is amazing. He’s helped me through a really hard time. I really care about him.”

“I can see he cares about you. There’s something in his eyes. Pure affection.”

“Well, the same could be said for Eric, he’s so happy with you.”

“I’m so in love with him. He’s the perfect man. He’s smart and cute and funny… just everything I need. Plus, when I’m having a bad day, I can call him up and we just talk.”

“I miss that about him. He’s really my best friend in the world. I’m so happy for you guys” they sat in the sun for a few minutes, just listening to the trees in the wind, “Can I talk to you about something?”

“Yeah sure.”

“I don’t want you to tell the guys alright?”

“Of course, I won’t tell a soul.”

“Tomorrow’s my birthday. I’m turning 29.”

“Oh, why don’t you want them to know?”

“Because they’ll make a big deal out of it, and I don’t want that. I just want it to be like any other day” she paused, “I was engaged once. His name was Danny. I loved him more than anything, and one day he proposed. It was a week after my birthday. I hate my birthday now, more than any other day. Because a few days after that, he was killed. By Arvin Sloane.”

“Sydney, that’s horrible. Of course I wont’ tell anyone about your birthday. Are you sure you don’t want to talk to Julian about it though? I’m sure he would understand.”

“I don't want him to know. I’m turning 29, and I haven’t done anything that I’m supposed to do in life. All I’ve done has been work. I saved the world every day, I went to work every single day for so long, and now I want a real life. I’m never going to get out, either. I’m stuck in this world forever” she smiled bitterly, “I’m never going to live a normal life, with a husband and children. Not when there are people out there who want to take it away from me.”

“Sydney, just be patient, you’ll have everything one day. You’ll have the life you dream about.”

Sydney looked at Jen and smiled, “thank you” she said seriously.

“Not a problem,” Jen replied.

They walked back inside a few minutes later, where they saw the boys in the living room reading books. Sark looked up and saw Sydney, he noticed the serious look on her face, “Is everything alright?” he asked, concern was now taking over.

“Everything’s fine” Sydney replied, “I’m just going to go take a little nap.”

“That sounds like a good idea. I think I’m going to take one too, I feel a little jet-lagged.” Jen said.

“Well, I’ll come tuck you in then, love.” Sark said. Sydney nodded and walked to the room, Sark behind her.

When they got to the room Sydney got undressed and Sark watched her. He was trying to figure out what was going on in her head, but couldn't think of anything. “What’s going on Sydney?” he asked.

“Nothing.” She answered quickly.

“I know something’s going on.”

“I’m just tired, I want to get some sleep.”

“Syd, please talk to me” he pleaded. She just continued to get into more comfortable clothing.

“Fine Syd, I know something’s going on with you, but I’ll leave you alone with your inner demons. If you’re just going to shut me out, then what’s the point of all this?” he turned to leave when he heard her begin to sob.

“It’s been almost five years” she whispered shakily.

“What?” he turned in disbelief.

“Danny” and finally he understood, “he died a week after my 24th birthday. I’m turning 29 tomorrow” she sobbed. He walked to her and enveloped her in his arms. “I’m sorry” she whispered when her sobbing subsided.

“Sydney, I understand. You were engaged to the man and then he was suddenly taken from you, I can’t imaging how hard that must be for you. You’re so strong. You’ve been able to make yourself happy without him. I bet that right now he is watching over you and he’s happy that you’re able to move on. That you’ve found happiness with others.”

She smiled at him with tears in her eyes, “Thank you” she said shortly.

“I’ll stay with you until you fall asleep if you want me to.”

She nodded and hugged him tightly before getting under the covers, and soon falling asleep.

Once Sark was sure she was asleep he got up and left the room. He entered the living room to see Weiss sitting on the sofa with Jennifer in his lap. She was asleep and he was nodding off. Sark coughed and Weiss’ head jerked up and he stared at him wide-eyed. Weiss saw the serious look on Sark’s face and silently took Jen to the bedroom and returned a few minutes later.

“What happened with Sydney?” Weiss asked when he sat across from Sark on the sofa.

“We have to keep tomorrow night focused on you and Jennifer. Sydney explained to me why she hasn’t mentioned her birthday” he looked up from his hands at Weiss, “it’s because of Danny.”

Weiss exhaled slowly, “What about him?”

“He was killed about a week after her 24th birthday. It’s going to be 5 years since she lost him.”

“I get it. Jen will love the extra attention. And we won’t mention her birthday much. Do you think that would work? Because I know how much Sydney loves dancing, I wouldn’t want her to miss this night.”

“I wouldn’t either” he paused and stood up, “I’m just going to go for a walk. Could you tell Sydney that I’ll be back soon?”

Weiss shook his head “yeah, of course. Just come back soon.”

Sark nodded and left the house quietly.

Half an hour later Sydney had woken up and found Weiss watching television in the living room. “Hey, where’s Julian?” she asked.

“Walking. He told me to tell you that he’d be back soon.”

“Ok. What time is it?”

“After one I think…” he looked at the clock, “yeah, it’s 1:25”

“I’m going to make something for lunch. Want anything?”

“Yeah, sure. Just make enough for Jen and Julian, because they’ll probably want some when they’re back or up…”

She smiled and nodded, “Oh course.”

Twenty minutes later Jen was in the kitchen helping Sydney with their meal. She was slicing limes when Sark walked into the room. He walked straight to Sydney and put him arms around her front. She smiled and he kissed the top of her head and let go. He moved beside her and asked if there was anything he could do to help. “Someone’s cheery right now” Sydney said with laughter in her voice.

“Can you blame me?” he smiled and began chopping some carrots after Sydney pointed at them and handed him a knife, “I’ve got a beautiful woman in my kitchen who is currently cooking for me.”

“Oh, Julian, why can’t all men be like you?” Jennifer said as Weiss walked into the room.

“Why can’t all men be like who?” Weiss asked.

“Why can’t all men be like Julian. He’s just so perfect and he can compliment a women perfectly.” Jennifer said.

Weiss came up behind her and turned her to him, “you look so gorgeous today. I’ve missed you more than I can possibly say.”

She smiled, gave him a quick kiss and went back to work. Ten minutes later they were gathered around the dining room table eating their meal.

* * * * * *

It’s an evening of dinner and dancing at the hottest Paris nightclub. Everyone enjoyed the night. Sydney didn’t even feel like it was her birthday, Julian made her forget… and she loved him for that. Jennifer and Weiss had a wonderful time. They celebrated the anniversary of their first date in a night of happiness and music.

When they got home, the two couples went to their rooms and spent their nights in bliss.

* * * * * *


Chapter Seventeen

Weiss and Jessica had left two weeks ago. Sydney was sitting in the living room with her laptop on her lap, typing up notes on their future op.

“Syd, when do you think we can leave for Zurich?” she heard Sark yell from the study.

“I just have to finish these notes, and write an email to my dad! Oh and then I have to make a quick phone call.” she told him.

“Are you all packed?” he asked.

“Of course.”

He walked into the room and smiled when he saw her. She was completely immersed in her email to her father. She was wearing her glasses, which he had never seen on her before, she looked adorable. She paused for a moment and bit the inside of her cheek, contemplating what to write. “Julian!” she yelled.

“What, love?”

She nearly dropped her laptop when she noticed him behind her, “Did I scare you?” he brushed his hands along her shoulders.

“A little,” she admitted.

“So, what is it?”

“What should I tell my father?” she asked him.

“The truth,” he looked at what she had written already, “You should tell him that we’re trying to bring down Sloane, and that’s where you are right now. And you can leave out the part about being my love slave, I think that would kill him.”

“I think it’s more like you being my love slave,” she giggled, “But don’t worry, I won’t say a word.”

“So when you’re done that, we can leave?”

She nodded her head and then kissed his cheek.

“I’ll be right back then.”

“’kay”

She finished the email and sent it off. When Julian returned to the room he had something around his back. “What have you got there?” she asked curiously.

He took a small jewellery box from his hands and put it in hers.

“What is this?” she asked while opening it.

She looked at it and stilled, “Why are you giving me this, Julian?”

“My last mission was in Greece. When I was there, I had some time to look around, visit the markets… Well, one woman showed me this necklace and told me a story behind it. It’s called an ‘evil eye’ and it’s meant to protect the wearer. It’s been said that it watches over you and gets rid of evil. I want you to wear it, so I know that in some way, when we aren’t together, you are protected. I know it doesn’t look all that special, but…”

Sydney cut him off with a passionate kiss. “I think it’s beautiful. And I just don’t what to say…”

He reached behind her neck and placed the necklace on her. “I need you to be safe Sydney.”

She nodded and stood, “We should go. We don’t want Sloane to wait now, do we?”

He laughed and shook his head, “That was a fast subject change.”

“You should know better than anyone, I like moving fast,” she said seductively. Julian swallowed hard and took her arm, leading her out of the house.

* * * * * *

Sloane had a meeting in a nightclub with a man named Arthur Menalda, an arms dealer who was one of the head members of the Covenant. Sydney was dressed in a green dress that was flowing just below the knee, just so she could move around in it if she had to. Julian was wearing his signature black Armani suit. They walked into the club as if they owned the place. They were perfect together, Sydney hadn’t realized it until that moment, but when he had said before that they were destined to work together she hadn’t found how true that was until now.

“I see them,” he whispered to her.

“Wanna dance?” she asked him.

They began to sway to the music on the dancefloor, “I think you like dancing, Maria.”

“We seem to do this a lot, don’t we, Andrew?”

He nodded and she put her head on his shoulder. “What do you think will happen once we’ve brought them down?” he asked.

“I don’t know yet. But we have plenty of time to figure that out.”

“Yeah,” he said breathlessly.

A few moments, he whispered to her, “They’re exchanging the package.”

“Let’s move,” they now had their full game-faces on. There was no fooling around now.

Sydney reached down to her garter where her gun was placed and discretely pulled it out and carried it hidden behind her handbag.

Sark walked up to the pair and sat down, Sydney was still hiding within the massive crowd of dancers. “Ah, Mr Sark,” she heard Arthur say.

“Mr Menalda, Arvin,” he nodded his head curtly at them. “What are you two doing here?”

“Just an exchange Julian, nothing to worry about,” Sloane said.

“Just checking up to see what my money used to be funding.”

“Yes, we did notice that Mr Sark. Your money was doing us some good then” Menalda stated.

“Well, I didn’t like the way business was being done, what can I say? I like to know where my money is going.”

“I had heard you had left this world behind, Julian. What on Earth could have brought you back into something like this?”

“Someone, actually.”

“And who might that have been?” Sloane asked curiously.

“That’s for another time.”

Menalda got up and was about to leave when Julian suddenly took out his gun and shot him in the head. His body collapsed to the ground. Sydney tried to get to him, but was forced back by the screaming crowd. She ended up waiting for him by the front door.

“Sloane got away,” was the first thing he said to her after looking her over for any injuries.

“We’ll get him soon,” she said, caressing his face lightly.

They got into their car and drove off into the night.

* * * * * *

“Sydney!” Sark called from the study.

“You yelled?”

“Can you be ready in an hour?”

She looked at him confused, “Ready for what?” she asked.

“To move in on Sloane.”

She took in a deep breath and smiled, “Of course.”

“Let’s get ready, then.”

He took her hand and they went to the bedroom to pack. “He’s going to be meeting all of the Covenant cell leaders to try and replace Menalda.”

Sydney scoffed, “Don’t you think that’s stupid? I mean, why don’t they just post a bulletin, “CALLING ALL ASSASINS, WE’RE HERE!” with an arrow pointing to their location?”

“That’s basically what they have done. And I’ve done my own investigation, it’s not a trap.”

“Good to know.”

They finished packing and found that they sill had forty minutes until they had to leave.

“Well, you’re a fast packer,” Julian teased.

“We have some time to spare… whatever shall we do?” she said as she brushed her hand against his groin.

He coughed, “Syd, are you sure you don’t want to go over the mission specs?”

“No, I think I want you.”

* * * * * *

They looked over at the clock and found that twenty minutes had passed, “That passed some time,” Sydney giggled.

Sark looked at her and softly brushed a piece of hair out of her face, “It did,” he whispered. He kissed her softly and grinned, “I just need to go check something in the study, and then we can leave.”

Sydney nodded and watched him get dressed and leave the room. She walked over to her purse and took out her cell phone, dialling a familiar number.

“This is Agent Bristow,” she said cautiously when the phone was picked up.

“Agent Bristow, you’re late.”

“I understand sir, I haven’t had a chance to call until now.”

“You will be happy to hear that your plan has been approved by Langley. All you need to do is get Mr Sark here, and you’ll get what you want. Remember that you must complete this mission before you bring him in.”

“I know sir. There shouldn’t be a problem. He told me that he’s out of the business.”

“I guess we’ll be seeing you soon. Do what you have to do to get him here.”

“Yes, sir. I’ll bring him in. Thank you sir.”

She hung up the phone and sat down on the bed, sighing. This is going to be tough, she thought.

* * * * * *

Julian was finished in the study when he was walking back to the bedroom. He heard Sydney talking to someone on the phone. When he heard some interesting words.

“There shouldn’t be a problem. He told me that he’s out of the business.”
“Yes, sir. I’ll bring him in. Thank you sir.”


So, she was going to sell him out. She was using him. I can’t believe her, he thought, I loved her and she’s turning me in?! It’s not going to work, my love.

He took a deep breath and walked into the room. Sydney turned to him and smiled. “Hey,” she said.

“Are you ready to go?” he asked her blankly.

“Yeah. I’ll just grab my purse.”

He took her arm and walked out the front door.

When they were in the car, Sydney grasped his hand gently and began to soothingly rub his hand with her thumb, “What’s wrong?” she asked him.

“Nothing. I’m just thinking about the mission.”

She nodded and looked ahead, wondering what could be making him act this way.

* * * * * *

They arrived in Paris an hour later. They checked into a hotel and unpacked all of their mission gear. “So, care to tell me what is going to happen on this mission?”

“You have to go in and ‘interrupt’ the meeting between Sloane and the other Covenant leaders.”

“I got that, what are you going to do, and how am I going to interrupt the meeting?”

“Your cover is a waitress. Your wardrobe is in there,” he said pointing to the closet, “They are on a private floor. No guests will be able to get there, and there will be pretty heavy undercover security, so be careful.”

“I always am.”

He nodded curtly, “I’m going to disguise myself as one of the security operatives, I’ll be meeting you upstairs when we’ll take them down.”

Sydney nodded, “How will we do that?”

“I’ll be in contact with you the whole time through an earpiece. When you’re up on the floor, I need you to press this button,” he held up a tray with a small black button poking out from the plastic, “It will allow me to know when you’re ready. I’ll come in and we’ll take them down.”

Sydney nodded, “When is this happening?” she asked.

“We need to be in place in two hours.”

“I’ll go get ready then.”

“Syd,” he grasped her arm as she stood, “You’re almost free.”

She smiled and nodded, “I have to get changed.”

“I need to talk to you,” he said as she opened the bathroom door, “It’s important.”

“Sure,” she said. She turned around again and sat in the chair next to him, “What is it, Julian?”

“Who were you talking to earlier?”

“What?” she was nervous now, “What are you talking about?”

“I know Sydney. I heard your conversation. I know you’re going to bring me in after this mission.”

“Julian you don’t under-“

“When did you start whoring yourself for the CIA?”

She slapped his face hard, “What are you talking about?”

“This!” he screamed, “You and me, it’s a lie. There was never anything between us was there?!”

He was pacing around the room and then stopped when he saw his bag. He opened it and pulled out a gun, pointing it at Sydney he continued, “I’m not going to let you bring me in Agent Bristow.”

Sydney’s eyes were wide with disbelief, “It’s not a lie,” she whispered.

“Then explain it to me. Tell me why you were talking to your director about bringing me in,” his hands were shaking and Sydney wasn’t moving. She just stared at him.

“I can’t tell you that. Not yet.”

“Well, then I guess this is it,” he took off the safety and aimed the gun.

“Please, Julian,” she whispered. Sydney had tears running down her cheeks. When he saw them he faltered.

Suddenly there was a loud bang and Sark dropped to the floor. Sloane was at the door holding a gun, aimed at Sydney. She saw his finger tighten against the trigger and another shot rang out in the room. Sydney looked down at her shaking hands and noticed that there was no pain, no blood coming from her body. She saw Sloane drop to the ground with blood pouring out of his chest.

Julian was lying on the ground with his gun still pointed where Sloane’s chest had just been, she ran to Julian’s side and put pressure on his chest. “I shot Sloane,” he whispered.

Sydney nodded, “I know. Why did you do it?”

“I couldn’t let him,” he whispered tearfully, “I couldn’t kill you Sydney.”

“Why not?” she asked him with her tears falling onto his chest.

“Because I love you,” she gasped at his declaration, “I couldn’t do it.”

“I’m sorry,” she whispered, “You need to understand something. I wasn’t setting you up.”

He smiled at her, “It’s alright Syd. You don’t have to explain.”

“I do, I need to tell you,” she let one of her hands drift to her phone which was sitting on the table. She dialled her CIA contact and requested immediate extraction.

“CIA? I thought you weren’t bringing me in,” he said sadly.

“I am, but not for what you’re thinking.”

“I’m dying Syd. There’s no point.”

“You’re not dying. You aren’t going to die,” she replied stubbornly.

“I am, you can’t do anything.”

“I got you pardoned,” she whispered, “I needed to bring you in so you could sign it.”

A tear fell from his eye, “Why would you do that?”

“Everyone deserves a second chance. Even if it’s you,” she saw his breathing slow, “Please hang on Julian, I need you to hold on.”

“I’m sorry, I can’t,” Sydney whimpered and her hands were shaking more than ever, “I love you,” he whispered before his eyes closed.

“NO!” Sydney screamed. The door slammed open and CIA agents along with paramedics entered the room. They took Julian’s body and placed him on the stretcher. They checked his vitals quickly before leaving the room in a hurry.

“We need to get him to a hospital quickly, he’s still got a pulse,” Sydney heard one of them say.

Sydney got up and held his hand before they left. She was asked to stay behind with the agents and answer questions about the situation.

* * * * * *


HA! When I posted this @ SD-1 I left them for a week with that cliffhanger. :o_O: I was so evil...

Chapter Eighteen

There’s something about sitting in an empty room that gets to you. She had been sitting in the empty hospital bed for hours, staring out the window, watching the grey sky darken as night came. There was nothing to think about other than the fate of a person she cared deeply about.

There was someone at the door knocking slowly, a nurse entered and smiled at her. “We’ll be bringing him back in just a moment dearie,” she said.

Sydney smiled and sniffled, “Is he going to be alright?” she asked.

“I’ll have the doctor come in and speak to you about that,” she said shortly.

The nurse checked the machines and left Sydney alone once again before the doctor entered. “Miss Bristow?” he asked.

Sydney stood up quickly and nodded her head. “Yes?” she said quickly.

“We’re going to bring in Mr Lazarey in a moment, but I need to talk to you first. He’s awake right now, his surgery went well. We removed the bullet from his abdomen, and luckily it didn’t cause too much internal damage. We were able to fix any problem we saw.”

Sydney smiled and let out a breath that she hadn’t noticed she was holding in. “So he’s going to be okay?”

The doctor nodded, “It looks that way right now. We need to keep him here for a week or longer to watch his vitals, but things are looking good at this time.”

“Thank you doctor,” she said before he turned and left the room. He returned a moment later with Julian and many orderlies and a nurse. Julian was lying on a stretcher and Sydney could see that his eyes were open. She smiled at him and he nervously smiled back at her. The doctor checked his vitals before leaving the room while the nurse made sure that the IV glucose was getting into his body before she left Sydney and Julian alone.

“Hey,” she whispered. She looked at the man lying on the bed in front of her and he looked so sick and broken, it made her feel so horrible to just watch him and not be able to take away any of his pain.

“You stayed?” he croaked.

She nodded and a tear fell down her cheek, “I wouldn’t leave you like that. I’m just happy you’re alive.”

“Syd,” he whispered. He took her hand in his and tugged it lightly, “I’m sorry for before.”

Sydney shook her head, “No, I should have told you. I don’t think I’ll understand what you felt when you thought I was betraying you. I would never do that.”

He shook his head, “I’m still sorry,” he smiled lightly. “I love you Sydney,” he quietly stated before dozing off.

* * * * * *

Sydney watched him as he slept, she thought about the fact that this once assassin and terrorist was now reformed and had a presidential pardon. He loved her. He had almost given his life for her. He had actually been willing to die for her.

The question that kept running through her mind was whether or not she loved him. She knew she cared deeply for him, but she didn’t know if it had developed into love yet. Before she knew it, hours had passed and Julian was awake again.

“Hello love,” he said. Sydney smiled and kissed him lightly, “Finally,” he joked, “It took you long enough.”

Sydney laughed, “How are you feeling today?” she asked him.

“Aside from the fact that I’ve been shot?” he joked lightly and Sydney smiled while nodding, “Never better.”

“I’m so sorry Julian,” she said soon after.

Julian looked up at her confused, “What are you sorry for?”

“You’re in love with me…” a look of sadness crept over Sydney’s face and Julian understood.

“Syd, I love you, but you don’t need to say it now. I just had to get it out before I died. I knew that I would have regretted it if I hadn’t said it.”

Sydney smiled and kissed his palm before telling him she would be right back. She returned fifteen minutes later with the Director of her department. He was carrying a briefcase. He placed it down on a table in the corner of the room and took out a document and placed it on the bed tray on Julian’s bed. He took out a pen and handed it to Julian, “Mr Lazarey, this document is your pardon agreement with the United States of America. We would like to thank you for your assistance in the case involving Arvin Sloane. By signing this document you are agreeing with the government that you will not violate this accord, and if you do, that will be punishable by the death penalty and imprisonment at Camp Harris. Do you agree?” he said bureaucratically.

Julian nodded and signed the document. “Thank you sir,” he said.

The man nodded and said goodbye to the pair and left the room.

“Well that was quick,” Sydney said. Julian laughed and pulled Sydney down onto the bed next to him. She carefully placed her arm around his waist and soon they drifted off to sleep.

* * * * * *


OK, so you've got all of the updates there. I'll update again soon. :D
 
Hey guys,
I was going to update yesterday, but I've come down with a case of Bronchitis. :sick:

I was supposed to be going to Toronto tomorrow until Sudnay night for my university interview, but I called them and they've postponed it due to my illness :D. So, one good thing came of this.

I'll update tomorrow or Thursday though. See you all soon! And thanks for reading!
 
Chapter Nineteen

Two months had passed and Sydney had resigned from her position at the CIA. She had been living with Julian in France at his home since they had returned from the hospital. The life she was living right now was a happy one; a normal one. Finally after so many years of fighting, she had won her normal life. Julian made her happy.

Two months ago, Julian confessed his love for her, and she still had not yet returned the gesture. Oh, what she felt for him was definitely love; but for some reason, she could not say it out loud yet. She wasn’t ready.

Sydney was actually looking for a new job as an English teacher in one of the local schools; she was surprised that the children spoke English so well. For a month, she had been substituting for a teacher who had gone on maternity leave. She loved the kids. Every day she would come into the classroom and see her students sitting at their desks with attentive looks on their faces; eager to learn something new. It made her look forward to the future.

Children. Sydney had thought about having her own children for many years. The first time she had thought about it was when she had been with Noah. Her dream went down the drain that time. Then with Danny, and finally with Vaughn. She had always thought that Vaughn was her soul mate, but she now knew she had been mistaken. Julian Lazarey had proven to her that he was her soul mate.

* * * * * *

Sydney woke up because of a feeling in her stomach. She turned on her side and saw Julian sleeping peacefully next to her. The feeling in her stomach returned and she bolted out of bed and ran into the bathroom, emptying the contents of her stomach.

Sadly, this wasn’t the first time this had happened. It had been happening almost every morning for the last three weeks. Thankfully, Julian had not noticed yet, but she was concerned. For some reason Julian hadn’t seen much of her because she was sleeping a lot more than usual.

Something about this morning was different though; Julian woke up when she had closed the bathroom door a little more forcefully than she had thought. “Love, what’s wrong?” he asked when he saw her hunched over the toilet seat.

“Just not feeling too good today,” she croaked out. Julian came up behind her and began to rub her back soothingly.

“Are you going to be alright?” he asked. “I can go get you something for your stomach.”

Sydney nodded and sat against the bathtub. “I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I’m so tired. I’ve been sleeping so much. I don’t know how you haven’t noticed,” she said when he came back into the room with a can of ginger ale. Sydney opened it and took a sip before putting it down.

Julian sat down beside her and wrapped his arm around her back, holding her against him. “I’m sure you’ll be fine Syd. It’s probably just the flu or something,” he said.

* * * * * *

The next week Sydney woke up to the smell of bacon all through the house. The second it permeated her nose, she bolted out of bed and ran to the bathroom, vomiting anything that remained in her stomach.

Sark, being in the kitchen a few doors down heard a door open and another shut loudly. It worried him that this continued happening. This had been the third time this week that this had happened. He was worried about her, but every time he tried talking to her about it, she brushed it off saying it was just a bug.

He walked to the bathroom to see her head hung over the toilet. He walked over to her and brushed her hair out of her face, holding it back. He rubbed her back soothingly and whispered sweet nothings into her ear.

A few minutes later, they headed back to the kitchen. “Syd,” he said, kissing her forehead, “I’m going to take you into town to see a doctor today. This isn’t just a stomach bug. It’s more serious than that, I can see.”

“It’s nothing Julian. I’m fine. I don’t need to see a doctor.”

“Please Sydney, just humour me.”

“Why are you so concerned anyway? Nothing’s wrong with me. It’s nothing.”

“I’m concerned about you because I love you. I just want to make sure that everything’s alright with you. I’m sure it’s nothing serious, but I just want to get it checked out.”

“I don’t understand why you would love me.”

“You mean everything to me Sydney, I don’t know what I’d do without you.”

“Well,” she smiled, “in that case, I’ll humour you. I’ll see the doctor tomorrow. Maybe today if you want” she paused, contemplating possibilities. “Well, you realize that there could be another thing that’s going on with you right?”

“What are you talking about?”

“I’m late” at his questioning look she continued, “my period. It’s late. There’s a chance that I’m pregnant” she was glowing at this point.

“Pregnant?” his face was blank. “Syd, you might be pregnant?” he frowned.

Sydney looked down to the floor, her face falling, “Yeah, well, it’s a slim chance though. It’s not likely” she turned away and started to walk to the bathroom, “I’m going to go have a shower.”

“Syd!” he called after her. Running up and grabbing her arm. “Syd? Please. I’m sorry. I just didn’t expect that. I didn’t even consider it.”

There were now tears in her eyes. “Please don’t cry love. Please don’t cry. I’m so happy,” his face was glowing with happiness and pride, “Do you really think you might be pregnant? Because if you are, then I’ll be the happiest man alive.”

Her tears stopped at his revelation. She smiled a brilliant smile that lit up the room and laughed when his hands went to her stomach. “Really?”

“Yes, really. And you’ll be the greatest mother of all time Syd, I know it.”

“You’ll be an amazing father. You really will Julian.”

“I’m not so sure of that yet. We’ll see.”

“I know you will Julian. I know you.”

“Well, do you think you’re up for a doctor’s visit today?”

“Yes, I want to go. Would you be ready to go now?”

“I’ll be ready any time Syd. Anything for you.”

* * * * * *

One Hour Later – The doctor’s office

“Miss Bristow, how are you feeling?” she asked.

“Well,” she sighed, “in the past seven days I’ve thrown up three times in the mornings. Y boyfriend out there is paranoid and wants to make sure that I’m alright. I’ve missed my period this month, so I think I might be pregnant.”

“Well, I can take a blood sample and see if everything’s alright. But there isn’t much else I can do for you right now. If the vomiting continues through the next week, I’d like you to come in again” she took a needle and too a sample of Sydney’s blood. “If you are pregnant, do you think he will be happy about it?”

“Yeah, he will be.”

“Well that’s nice to hear” Sydney suddenly winced, her hand reaching down to her stomach.

“Sydney? Are you alright?”

“Yeah, I’m fine. Just feeling a little sick.”

“Are you sure? Sydney, please lie down for a few minutes. I’ll get your friend from the waiting room. If you’d like, I can get this sample analyzed for you within the hour.”

“That would be great.”

A few moments later, Sark rushed into the room. “Sydney, love, what’s wrong?”

“Nothing, just feeling a little sick again. Would you mind waiting around for about an hour with me? Until we get the results from my blood test?”

“Of course, love. Of course.”

He sat down next to her on the exam table, taking her into his arms while they waited for the results.

Forty-five minutes later

The doctor re-entered the room to see Sydney lying on the table with her legs in Sark’s lap. “Sydney? Would I be able to talk to you alone please?”

“Sure,” Sark said, moving her legs off of him, sliding off the table. He kissed Sydney lightly on the lips, “I’ll be in the waiting room.”

“Alright.”

Once they were once again alone, the doctor began.

“Sydney, you’re not pregnant.”

“Oh,” she looked down at her feet, dangling off the side of the table, “then what’s going on with me.”

“Miss Bristow, we found something in your blood. We have to run further tests to confirm, but you might have cancer.”

“Wh – what? How… what… what?”

“Miss Bristow, I need you to listen to me. We are going to keep you over night to do further tests. We found the cancer cells in you’re the blood sample, and we need to see how advanced the cancer might be. We need to see what treatments might be able to help you.”

“How could this happen?”

“We don’t have an answer to that. Do you know of anyone in your family history that has been affected by any form of cancer?”

“No! I don’t think so.”

“Well, would you mind if we kept you overnight to run the tests, or would you like to come back tomorrow.”

“I’ll stay tonight. But I just need to talk to Julian… the man with me before it happens, is that alright?”

“Yes, of course. When you’re ready, just come in and we’ll do the tests” she looked down at her file once again, “I’m sorry Sydney.”

Sydney nodded and left the room silently. Once she entered the waiting room, Julian saw her and stood, closing the distance between them. “Sydney, are you alright? You look pale.”

“I’m fine. Julian, I’m not pregnant.”

“Syd, that’s alright. It was just our thoughts getting ahead of us.” Sark held out his arms to her, and enveloped her in his arms. “Syd, the doctor, did she say what’s going on?”

“No,” she lied, “I’m staying overnight for further testing.”

“Do you want me to stay with you?”

“No, it’s alright. I’ll be fine.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes, Julian, I’ll be fine.”

“Alright. Will you call me when you are ready? I’ll pick you up when you’re ready tomorrow.”

“OK.”

“I love you” he whispered, placing a kiss on her forehead.

“I know” she said back, not ready to say those words to him. “I’ll see you tomorrow alright?”

“Of course.”

* * * * * *

The next morning - After the tests have been run

The doctor enters the room, she looks at a file and frowns. “Sydney, Miss Bristow, I’ve got some bad news. The cancer is more advanced than we originally had thought. I’m sorry, but it doesn’t seem like any treatments that have been developed can help you.”

Sydney had tears running down her face, she was shaking with silent sobs. She tried to wipe them away with her hand, but it wasn’t working. She couldn’t move. She was frozen. “Am I dying?” she managed to croak out.

“I’m sorry Miss Bristow, but it doesn’t seem as if there is anything we can do. If you’d like, we can try chemotherapy, but it’s not likely that it will work. We could also try radiation therapy, but in reality there’s almost no chance of anything helping” the doctor paused, looked down at Sydney’s hands, and looked her in the eyes again, “would you like me to call that man who came with you yesterday? Julian?”

“I should do that. Can you please bring me a phone?”

“Yes, of course.”

Moments later, Sydney was listening to Julian answer the phone. “Julian?”

“Sydney! I’ve been waiting for your call.”

“I’m ready to come back now. Could you please come for me?”

“Of course, I’ll be there soon love. I’ll be there soon.”

“Thank you” she placed the phone back in its cradle, “he’s on his way.”

“I’ll leave you to get your things ready,” she said, turning to leave the room, “Miss Bristow, it would be better for you if you decided whether or not to try the therapies sooner rather than later. That way, there’s a better chance that we could fix this.”

“Thank you doctor.”

* * * * * *

Just over an hour later, and a very uncomfortable and quiet car ride, we are back at his home. I haven’t told him anything yet, and I’m not sure I will. I need time to think everything over, and that’s what I did for the entire ride. I’m not going to tell him. He can’t know. I know that it will kill him to know that I am dying and he can’t do anything to save me. He can’t help me.

I am going to do the only thing that I can think of to stop him. It will break his heart, but it will be better than him watching me die. I can’t let him go through that. I can’t let him see that, because I love him. I can’t tell him that, because he won’t let me go, but that’s what he needs to do. Those words will hang in the air between us while I break his heart in two.

Once we get inside the house, I silently go to the bedroom and sit on the edge of the bed. He goes to the kitchen and gets two glasses of water, and then enters the bedroom. He can feel the tension in the room. It’s as if he knows what’s about to happen.

“Julian, this isn’t working.”

“I know Sydney. But all you have to do is talk to me. Tell me what happened today. Please tell me what you found out.”

“Julian, that’s not what I meant. I meant that I’m leaving. I care about you, but I don’t love you, I never can,” I lie. It breaks my heart to see his face. I can see his heart shatter. I thought it would break in half, but it shatters into a million pieces. He has tears in his eyes, and he drops the glass of water in his hand. “I will never get past the things that you have done in your life. But since I care about you, I’m going to leave. I’m going to let you move on, forget about me. I’m not going to lead you on, and give you false hope that some day I might feel the same way about you.”

“Sydney please. Don’t do this” he pleads, and it almost breaks me.

“I’m sorry” I whisper when I see a single tear fall across his cheek. I stand and leave the room silently. Leaving a broken man behind me. I feel as if I’m about to break down, but I can’t allow for that to happen. Not yet.

Once I leave the house, I get on the first plane to Los Angeles. Once I finally arrive at Michael Vaughn’s apartment, and I see him for the first time in over three months, I finally allow myself to break down.

* * * * * *


Chapter Twenty

The door opens and I can once again see Michael Vaughn in front of me. This moment makes everything that has happened in the past two and a half days become real. They hadn’t hit me until that second. Once I see him, I break down, into full-out sobs. I collapse forward into his arms and just cry. He holds me, surprised that I’m there, but doesn’t ask questions. I think he’s too shocked to say anything.

After an hour of relentless sobbing, he finally gets up and gets a glass of water for me. I know that he has done something else in that time, because once he gets back in the room, he looks at me differently. I don’t know what is going on.

“Sydney…” he says, disbelieving, “what are you doing here?”

“Everything’s changed” I say cryptically.

“Syd, I don’t understand. What’s changed? Why are you here? Because the last time I saw you, you made it pretty clear that you didn’t want to see me again…”

“I’m sorry” I whisper.

“What’s going on Syd? Please tell me. I know something’s wrong.”

I’ve finally gotten my emotions under control. I know it’s time. It is time that I tell him what’s wrong. “I’ll start by telling you this; I’ve left Julian” he looks at her with wide eyes, “but, not for the reason you probably think… or hope.”

“Why, Syd?”

“I’m going to tell you everything, but you can’t interrupt me, alright?”

“Sure. Alright.”

I start the story, the story that tears me apart. “For the last couple of weeks, I have been feeling weak, I’ve been sleeping a lot, and at least three times a week, I’ve thrown up in the mornings.” My story is interrupted by a knock at the door. My head whips around towards the sound.

“It’s Eric.” Vaughn says. “I called him when you showed up. He’s been wanting to see you. He’s been as worried about you as I have.”

I smile at him, “that saves me from telling the story one more time” I say.

Vaughn gets up and gets the door, Weiss then rushes into the room, crushing me to his chest. I didn’t know how much I had missed him until now.

After a few minutes of explanations, about my disappearance, I tell him what I had just told Michael, and then continue my story.

“Julian would try to confront me about what was going on with me, but I didn’t want to talk about it. One morning, we figured out that I might be pregnant. He was so happy,” I remember, smiling, “we went to the doctor that morning, to see if that’s what it was” I look to the ground, frowning now. “The doctor took a blood sample and analyzed it while we waited. Julian was with me for that, but the doctor came back and wanted to talk to me alone. That made me a little worried at that point. If I had been pregnant, Julian could have stayed in the room, heard the happy news together.”

“Syd,” Weiss interrupted.

“No, Weiss please, I can’t tell you this if you interrupt me.”

“Sorry” he said.

“My thoughts were confirmed. I wasn’t pregnant…” my eyes filled with tears “they found cancer cells in my bloodstream. I’m dying.”

Vaughn and Weiss both look at me with tears in their eyes. One solitary tear flows down Vaughn’s cheek and it breaks me. “Vaughn, that’s not even why I’m here,” I explain between sobs, “Julian told me that he loves me. That he loves me more than anything in his life.” Both men in front of me take my hands and hold them tightly, knowing that what I have just said isn’t the worst thing to come. “I know I’m dying, and because of this, I’ve realized that I love him too. But I can’t tell him. I couldn’t. I left him, and lied to him about why. I told him that nothing was wrong. That I could never love him. That I care about him enough to let him move on, and find someone who can love him.”

“Sydney” Vaughn whispers. I know he’s not trying to interrupt me, he’s just saying it to try and calm me down.

“I can’t let him watch me die. I love him too much. I want him to remember me as the person I was, as the person that he knew. I can’t let him see me sick and helpless like I’m soon going to be.”

Weiss sits up and pulls me to his chest once again. Vaughn is now sitting on the sofa opposite me, his face contorted in a look of shock and confusion. “I’m so sorry Syd.” He repeats over and over again.

“I need to ask you a favour” I ask after a few minutes of silence.

“Anything” they both answer at the same time.

“Well, there are two things actually. First thing, I need a place to stay temporarily. And second, which is going to be the hardest thing for you to do. I’m going to give you this phone number. Before you ask, it’s his. I want you to call him when this is all over. I want him to be there, when I… after I’m gone. I want him to know what happened to me. And, could you also give him this letter when I’m gone? I wouldn’t trust anyone else with this.”

“Of course Syd” answers Weiss.

“You can stay in my spare bedroom for as long as you’d like Sydney” Vaughn adds.

Sydney hands Weiss the letter for Sark, and both of them a copy of the phone number to contact Sark.

“I can’t thank you two enough for what you’re doing for me.”

“Syd, the cancer… is… is it curable?”

“No. It’s too advanced. They said that they can try some things, but so far, no one’s survived it being this bad for more than a few months.”

* * * * * *

Two hours later, Weiss headed home, and Sydney and Vaughn headed to their separate rooms. Once Weiss got to his place, he beat himself up over the decision that he was about to make, but he knew it had to be done.

He picked up the phone and dialed the number written on the small piece of paper. He had thought about it, and found that he could take it if Sydney was angry with him for a while, but if Sark really loved her, he should know why she really left. Even if he is a terrorist or was a terrorist, he deserved to know the truth. Plus, he has resources. Maybe, there could be a cure out there that they haven’t found yet. Sark could do that. Maybe he could save Sydney.

The line rings, Weiss waits for someone to pick up.

“Hello?” he hears over the other end.

“Sark? It’s Eric Weiss. I’m a friend of Sydney’s.”

“Sydney? Where is she? Is she alright?” he says quickly.

“Look, I can’t really talk about it over the phone. I just want you to know that I feel you should know the truth. About why she left. She lied to you, Sark.”

“I know. I know she lied to me. She found something out from the doctor, it must have been bad, but I don't know what it was.”

“Can you make it to L.A. soon? I can’t tell you over the phone. It needs to be in person.”

“Weiss, I need to know… is she alright?”

“Just come as soon as you can. Do you know where to find me?”

“Yes, I do.”

“I’ll be seeing you then.”

When the phone is down, Weiss takes a deep breath and heads to his bedroom for a sleepless night.

* * * * * *

Twelve hours later

Weiss is in his apartment, on his computer, researching as much as he can about cancer, when he hears a knock at the door. He gets up and answers the door.

In front of him stand a broken man. Sark is standing in the doorway. It takes a moment for Weiss to take everything in. His suit is wrinkled, his hair is a mess, he has bags under his eyes and the worried look on his face just cuts him to the bone.

“Weiss? Where is she?” he whispers.

“She’s staying with Vaughn.”

Sark looks at him, burning anger in his eyes. “So she’s gone back to him has she?” Sark yelled. He started pacing the room, then stopped when he realized that he had truly lost her. He sat down on the couch silently and put his face in his hands. “I’ve lost her. I’ve lost the only person I’ve ever truly loved.”

Weiss took this moment to speak up. “Sark, she hasn’t gone back to him really. She’s staying in his guest room. They’re not getting back together.”

“Really?”

“Yes”

Sark sighed. “So Mr Weiss, what was it that you wanted to tell me?”

“You were right. Sydney did find something out from that doctor. Sark, Sydney found out that she has cancer. She has cancer.”

“What? How is that possible? It’s curable right? It has to be! She’s not going to die!”

“Sark, the cancer is too advanced. I’m sorry Sark.”

“I have to see her. I have to be with her. She’s going to make it through this, she’s strong!”

“Look! You have to listen to me. She needs your help. I know that we can save her. But you need to help me. You have the resources, you can find someone who can help her!”

“You think I can help her? I don’t have the resources anymore! I’ve left the business, I’ve left everything. I can’t do it! If I go back, I can’t leave! I promised her I wouldn’t go back!”

“Sark, if you want Sydney to live, you have to do this.”

They sat in silence for a while and thought of their options. Sark knew he had to go back. He loved Sydney. He couldn’t let her die.

“Sark, I don’t know how I can convince you to do this for her, but you need to know something else. I can’t take you to see her yet. She only gave me your phone number so we could call you when she was gone. She wanted you to go to her funeral. I’m not ready to just let her die though, none of us are.”

“Why?! Why can’t I see her?! She needs me, I need to see her!” he began pacing again.

“Sark, she doesn’t want you to see her like this!” Weiss screamed. “She wants you to remember her like she was. When she was strong and beautiful, not weak, fragile and helpless. Sark, she’s doing this because…”

“Why, why is she doing this?”

“She lied to you. She lied when she left. When she said that she didn’t love you. That she couldn’t love you. She’s doing this because she loves you.”

“She loves me?” he whispered.

“She loves you.”

“She actually told you? She told you that she loves me?”

“Yes, she did. She told us last night. So why would she get back together with Vaughn after telling him that she loves another man?”

“No reason” Sark whispers, “what do you need me to do?”

“The cancer is very advanced. The normal treatments are not going to help. She needs you to find someone who has been doing research or someone who has developed a treatment that isn’t known to the normal medical field. Sark, Sydney would kill me for doing this. She told me not to go to you until she was gone. But, I can’t let her do this to herself. I can tell that she’s miserable. She is killing herself for leaving you, for hurting you.”

“I would do anything for her. Even if that means that I cannot see her until I find a treatment for her.”

“Sark, it will have to be quick. She doesn’t have much time.”

“It will be quick. I need her to be alright.”

“So where do we go from here?”

“I’ll contact you… soon. Weiss, can you do me one small favor?”

“Yeah, sure.”

“If Sydney ever gets down, can you please, just… remind her that… I love her.”

“Of course, but you don’t think that will sound weird? I mean ‘Syd, it’s ok, just remember that the man that you love but left still loves you.’ But really? How would I know that?”

“I don’t know. Just please, tell her.”

“I will.”

Sark then leaves the apartment, leaving Weiss to think about the past few days.

* * * * * *





Chapter Twenty-One

Weiss had just gotten rid of Sark when his phone began to ring. He checked the caller-ID and saw that it was Vaughn.

“Hello?” Weiss spoke.

“Weiss? Hey. I’m calling about Sydney.”

“What… is something wrong with her? Vaughn! Did something happen?”

“Well, nothing life-threatening. It’s just that I’m really worried about her.”

“Why, Vaughn? What happened after I left?”

“Sydney and I went to out beds and fell asleep. Or at least that’s what I did. Sydney however, cried herself to sleep. And then this morning, when I got up, I heard her crying in bed again. Weiss, I’m worried about her. I think we should call Sark. Maybe with his resources, he could do something. She’s miserable without him. I can’t see her like this.”

“Mike, I did something that I thought you wouldn’t agree with, but I see that you will. I called him last night.”

“Called who? Sark?”

“Yeah, he flew in late last night, and he just left my apartment. He’s promised not to see her until he knows whether or not he can find something for her. He really loves her Vaughn. I’ve never seen anything like it, when I told him about her… it was just… sad.”

“Do you think he’ll have any luck?”

“I don’t know. It isn’t likely, but if anyone can find a cure, it’s him.”

“Oh my god. Weiss, Jack doesn’t know. We have to get him here. He’s her father, he needs to know about this!”

“You’re right. But, we should ask Sydney about that first. We should really do what she wants from now on.”

“Sure.”

They ended their call, because Vaughn heard Sydney’s door open. “Syd? Are you up?”

“Yeah” he heard her say quietly.

“Are you alright?” he asked when he saw her face. Here eyes were red and puffy from crying.

“I’ll be fine. It was just different, being in that big bed without him next to me. I just miss him. Vaughn, I miss him so much.”

Sydney broke down again and fell into his chest, crying harder than he had ever seen her. He just held her, stroking her back and feeling his shirt dampen from her tears.

“Syd, you miss him, that’s understandable. But, you said that he loves you right? Don’t you think he should be here, don’t you think he should be the one comforting you right now?”

“No!” she yelled. “I don’t want him to see me like this. He thinks that I’m strong, but I can’t be strong any more.”

“Alright Syd, I understand. What about your father?”

“Oh. Um… he doesn’t know either. I should probably see him today, and tell him. I bet he’s going to go out and see a million doctors and try to find a cure or something” she laughed.

“Yeah, that’s something that he would do. That man doesn’t give up. Syd, neither does Sark.”

“Please don’t bring him up right now, I can’t think about him without breaking down.”

“Of course. I’m sorry.”

* * * * * *

Sydney picked up the phone and dialled a very familiar number, “Dad?”

“Sydney?” he answered quickly.

“Dad, hi. I’m in town and I was wondering if I could come over and see you soon.”

“Of course, sweetheart. Is Julian with you?”

Sydney almost burst into tears when he said that, “Um… no, I’m alone.”

“Well you can come over any time today. I have finally taken a piece of your advice and taken a day off.”

She smiled “I’m glad to hear that dad.”

“Well, I’ll let you go. See you soon sweetheart.”

“Yeah, bye dad.”

“Bye”

* * * * * *

One Hour Later – Jack’s Apartment

“Sydney! How are you? How’s everything?” he asked.

“Dad, hi.”

“Sydney? What’s wrong?” he asked when he saw the lack of happiness in her face. “Why are you here without Sark?”

“I found something out the other day, dad. I’m here without him because… I left him, and everything in my life is just gone.”

“Sydney, why… what’s going on? Why did you leave him? I saw how much you cared for each other, I didn’t like him, but I could see you loved him.”

She smiled, “I never told him. Dad, there are two things I have never told him. I didn’t tell him that I loved him, and I didn’t tell him that I’m dying.”

“Dying? Sydney what are you talking about?”

“I’m dying daddy. I have cancer” she said, and then broke into more sobs.

“Oh god.” Jack whispered.

* * * * * *

Sydney stayed at her father’s home that night. He just held her until she fell asleep.

* * * * * *

Four Days Later

Sydney had been staying with her father for four days and was much happier than she had been at Vaughn’s. Even if there was nothing between them, it was still awkward. Her father was also better at comforting her.

Every day, they had gone to different doctors. All of them said the same things, “it’s very advanced, there isn’t anything we can do.” But her father was not going to give up hope. That just wasn’t a Jack Bristow thing to do. So Sydney went along with it.

On the fourth morning, Sydney woke up and threw up the remains of the previous night’s dinner. She was not having a good morning. Her head was pounding, she woke up without Julian next to her, which made her cry a little still, and her stomach was in pain. She was feeling really weak today.

Her father was out talking to another doctor, thankfully without her, and she was home alone for the time being. Weiss was due over at any minute.

“Speak of the devil” she said when she heard a soft knock at the door.

“Hey Syd, how are you feeling today?” he asked sympathetically, seeing her pale complexion.

“Weak, tired, sad, sick. Just the usual, but ten times more this morning.”

“Come here” he said, and enveloped her into his arms.”

“Thanks.”

“So, have you had any breakfast yet?”

“No, I don’t feel like eating right now.”

“Syd, you have to. You know that if your father was here, he’d force food down your throat. And he’d kill me if I didn’t make you eat something.”

“Fine. Just no eggs. The smell of them make me nauseous.”

“No eggs coming right up.”

Sydney went to the living room and sat on the sofa. Her head was spinning today. She couldn’t shake off the dizziness.

“Chef Weiss has made you the most delicious pancakes in the entire world Syd. What would you like on them?” he heard no answer. “Syd, pancakes… syrup or blueberry sauce?”

Still no answer.

He put down the plate and walked to the living room where he saw Sydney lying on the floor. Her eyes were closed, but she was breathing. “Syd” he screamed, “Syd! Wake up!” he shook her lightly, checking her pupils. He got no response.

He called 911 and a few minutes later, they were off to the hospital in an ambulance.

* * * * * *


Chapter Twenty Two

Three Days Later

Sydney awoke in a hospital room lined with flowers. The bunch that stood out were the ones that Eric Weiss was carrying into the room at the moment.

“Syd! Oh my god you’re awake! I’ve been here every day just praying that you would wake up. Vaughn has been too, but he’s been called away. How are you feeling?”

“Weak. Nothing hurts though, I just feel like sleeping.”

“Well I’ll just put these down and get the doctor” he looked at the flowers guiltily and put them down on a free space on the table.

Sydney looked down at her hands, there were three needles in them, and then she saw the IV’s that were attached to them. She felt some discomfort around her nose and found tubes there.

She looked at the flowers that Weiss had just put down and realized what they were.

Lilies. Her favourite.

He knew.

Weiss re-entered the room and saw her face, she looked broken and tired. He felt horrible for her, he wanted to take her pain away. “The doctor will be in shortly Syd.”

She nodded and a single tear fell down her cheek. “You told him didn’t you” she smiled sadly.

Weiss looked at her and frowned, nodding his head slowly.

“It’s ok Weiss. I understand.” Sydney took his hand and held it in hers. “He isn’t coming to see me right?”

“No, he just sent the flowers.”

* * * Flashback * * *

Right after getting Sydney to the hospital Weiss called Jack, who was worried about Sydney, but said that he was on his way. He then prepared himself to make an even harder phone call.

“Julian Sark.”

“Sark, hey. It’s Weiss” he said grimly.

“Hello. Is something wrong? Did something happen to Sydney?”

“Yeah, it’s about Sydney. Man, she’s unconscious. She’s in the hospital. They’re looking after her. But I think you might have to speed up the search.”

“I’m going as fast as I can! I can’t do anything else! But I’m getting close. Tell me exactly what happened.”

“She woke up this morning and she wasn’t doing too well. She was sick to her stomach, feeling tired, weak, and then she sat down in the living room while I was making her some breakfast. It wasn’t any more than fifteen minutes and I saw her on the floor.”

He heard a sharp intake of breath on the other end of the phone. “Please Weiss, tell her I love her, and that I’m trying to help her. Please. She doesn’t even have to be conscious.”

“I will. Just hurry.”

“Weiss, I’m going to send her some flowers. Tell her they’re from you. They’ll be some white lilies. They’re her favourite.”

* * * End Flashback * * *

“If you talk to him, can you please tell him that I’m sorry? And thank you for the flowers, they’re beautiful.”

“You really should let him see you. He’s miserable and so worried about you right now.”

“Weiss, I’m hideous like this. I have needles and tubes sticking in me, I’m pasty and pale. I’m just disgusting right now. You shouldn’t even be seeing me this way.”

The doctor entered the room, stopping all conversation. “Miss Bristow, glad to see you’re awake. How are you feeling?”

“Weak. Nothing hurts though.”

“Ah that’s good, that means the drugs are working” he checked the folder at the end of her bed.

“We’ve run some tests on you Sydney and everything came back saying the same thing. You need to rest. This disease is taking its toll on your body and you should really stay in bed as much as you possibly can. We can start running the chemotherapy if you’d like, it might help delay harsher effects.”

“No, it’s alright.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes.”

“Ok then. Well we’re going to administer morphine for the pain and continue the IV for the next few days and see where it goes from there.”

“Sure.”

The doctor left Weiss and Sydney alone again.

Weiss was about to ask her why she didn’t want the chemo when his cell phone rang. “Weiss, you’re not supposed to have a cell phone in the hospital” Sydney scolded as he reached into his pocket.

“I’m CIA, they can sue me” he answered the phone, “Weiss.”

Sydney only heard one side of his conversation. “Yeah, what did you find?”

“Really?!” his face lit up. Good news, Sydney thought.

“You did it! You really did it! Ok, get him to my apartment as soon as you can. I’ll take it from there. I can’t believe you did it, man!” he hung up the phone and turned to Sydney smiling like a kid on Christmas.

“Syd. I’ve got good news!”

Sydney interrupted him. “Weiss, I want you to bring Julian to me now please. I need to see him. I can’t die before I tell him how I feel.”

“He’s coming Syd. That was him” her face lit up, “he’s been looking at experimental treatments for advanced cancer and he’s found something. They’ve been doing research for ten years. It’s something to do with filtering the blood. I don’t know. But no one has died using this treatment. The only thing is that it’s not legal in the US yet, so we’re taking you to Berlin. Sark has saved your life again Syd. He did it!”

He had saved her life, again. And she could be with him now. “Weiss, give me your phone.”

He handed her the phone and she dialed the number. He picked up the other end and she said “room 457, Riverside Hospital” and hung up the phone. She smiled at Weiss and said “thank you so much Weiss. I can’t ever thank you enough for what you’ve done for me.”

“Well, you can thank me by coming to my wedding. In all this chaos, I couldn’t tell you that I proposed to Jennifer a couple of weeks ago, and well… she said yes. And since you’re going to live and all, if you’re all healed up by then, I’d love for you to come.”

She was glowing, “Of course! Congratulations Weiss! How did you do it?”

“It was really cliché. I planned the romantic dinner at the French restaurant at the pier, and then when we went for a walk on the beach I got down on one knee and asked her.”

“That’s so romantic. I hope one day I’ll actually get married and not just engaged.”

“You will Syd, don’t give up.”

“Well this was almost enough to make me.”

“Syd you’re going to be ok now.”

“How can you really know? There’s no guarantee that this will work. It might not work, and then I could die. I’ll never do any of the things that I’m supposed to do. I’ll never get married, I’ll never have kids, I’ll never grow old with the love of my life. I’m not even going to be able to tell Julian how much I love him.”

She was sobbing at this point and Weiss pulled her to him, rubbing her back soothingly. She clung to him and sobbed into his neck. A few minutes later someone came into the room silently and watched for a few minutes in silence. He was holding a bouquet of roses and lilies.

Both Sydney and Weiss were oblivious to the man in the room until they broke apart. Sydney gasped when she saw him and began crying again. Weiss smiled and left the room.

“How did you get here so fast, Julian?” she whispered.

“When you love someone, you have super speed” she giggled, “I was in the area.”

He handed her the flowers “these are for you.”

“Thank you” she smelled them, “they look just like the ones from the house.”

“I had them flown in the other day. Just for you” Julian bent forward and kissed her forehead.

“I love you” Sydney whispered.

“I love you too” he replied. Tears formed in his eyes.

“Don’t cry. You’ll make me cry.” Sydney pleaded, wiping the tears from her eyes.

“I never thought you’d tell me that.”

“I never thought I’d have the chance.”

“I can’t believe that I actually fell for what you had told me back when you left. I didn’t even think that this could be why you left.” His tears fell down his cheeks, “you know, I think this is the first time I’ve cried in over twenty years.”

“I’m sorry. I’m so, so sorry.” Sydney was weeping, and he kissed her lips softly, tasting their mixing tears. “I should have told you, but I was scared.”

“I know, I know love. I’m sorry too.”

“You shouldn’t be.”

“I know. But I still am” he sat in the chair next to her bed. “You’re going to make it through this, you know that right?”

“I will if I have you by my side.”

“I’ll never leave.”

“So twenty years from now when I’m married to another man and have lots and lots of babies, you’re just going to follow me around?”

He laughed and kissed her again, “I’ll only leave if you ask me to.” Sydney yawned, “go to sleep my love, I’ll be here when you wake. But, you might wake up in Berlin.”

“Fine by me,” she whispered groggily.

Sark was sitting in the chair holding her hand for two hours after that, just watching her sleep. He had missed her so much.

They were on the plane an hour later, and only then, did he allow himself sleep. He hadn’t had more than twelve hours in the past week. But it had been worth it.

She was worth it.

* * * * * *

She awoke in another hospital room, she figured that she was in Berlin. Her IV needles had been changed, she could tell because the tape was clean and the end of the needles were a different colour than they had been.

She turned to her side when she felt a pressure in her hand and she saw Julian asleep in the chair next to her. He looked so peaceful.

It was as if he could sense she was awake, because moments after she had awoken, he yawned and it was still the sweetest thing she’d ever seen. “Hello love” she said to him and he smile the most brilliant smile she had ever seen on him.

“You’ve never said that to me before.”

“I know. I thought that it was about time.”

“Me too.”

A doctor walked into the room with a nurse and he smiled at Sydney. “So I’ve done the initial tests and everything looks good. We’re going to start the procedure in a few minutes, so you’ll be asleep for most of it.”

Sark looked at the doctor “how long will she be unconscious?”

“About a week. We can’t take any risks with her, the cancer is at a very advanced stage. We’ll have to put her under. It won’t be a coma, but it’ll be similar.” The nurse took a syringe and tested it to get the air out. “This is Maria, she’ll administer the drugs to you every day. So she’ll get to know you, but you won’t know a thing.”

“Doctor?” Sydney spoke “Can I please know your name?”

He smiled and nodded “Nikolai Dubranov”

“You’re Russian?”

“Yes. Why?”

“Both of us are half-Russian.”

He smirked and nodded. “Well, I’m going to get the transfusions ready. You’ll be out by the time they’re ready, so I’ll see you in a week.”

“Wait!” Sydney cried, “How long is the entire thing going to take. Am I just going to be cured after a week?”

“Most of it should be finished within the week, but you will have to come in after that once a month for chemotherapy treatments. You should be perfect again in about six months.”

“Ok” Sydney smiled.

“Syd, everything’s going to be fine. You’re going to be healthy, and then we can be together” Sark said, he was smiling so brightly still.

“I love you. I’m sorry that it took this to get me to tell you.”

“Don’t be sorry my love.”

Sydney’s head began to move from side to side and her eyelids were becoming heavy. Sark kissed her forehead and tucked her hair behind her ears and then kissed her palm. “We’ll be together forever my love” he whispered when she was asleep.

The nurse smiled down at him and he had forgotten that she was there. “You really love her don’t you?”

“More than anything” he replied, “more than anything” he repeated.

* * * * * *


Scroll down for the rest :D
 
Chapter Twenty Three

One Year Later

Sydney walked into her house mumbling something about the CIA being jackasses for keeping her at work so late. She was nearly one hour late for her date with Julian. Tonight was their one year anniversary of their reconciliation. It was now just under five months that Sydney had been confirmed cancer-free and two weeks since she had been tested to see if her children would be affected by the cancer. It was all good news because they had found out that her children would be healthy.

After opening the door, Sydney stepped inside the house, dropped her bag on the ground and tore her jacket off. She threw her keys on top of the radiator behind the door and pulled off her shoes. “Julian?” she cried out. His car had been in the driveway, so he must have been in the house.

They had bought the house together after her cancer-free confirmation. It was a beautiful tudor house in a nice neighbourhood in LA. Julian had agreed to move back with her as long as they could keep the house in France, just for special occasions, he said to her. She loved this house though, it was perfect for them.

“Julian, I’m sorry, I know I’m late,” she cried as she ran to the bedroom to get changed. Julian had not answered her yet and she was a little worried. But this worry did not stop her from getting ready for their anniversary dinner. She opened the bedroom door and saw Julian standing in front of her in a tux holding a single calla lily. Sydney gasped and her eyes welled with tears when she looked around and saw the dozen vases around the room all holding lilies. Rose petals were scattered across the floor and the bedspread and candles were illuminating the room.

“Welcome home love,” he said when she froze in front of him.

“You did all of this?” she asked.

“I almost didn’t get it done,” he said quickly, “But,” he walked up to her and kissed her cheek, “I had your work mates keep you in late,” he smirked.

She slapped his arm playfully, “So now I get it. I thought that ‘emergency staff meeting’ was a little silly.”

“I called Sarah and told her what I had planned. She said that she would do whatever she could to keep you later.”

“I love you,” she whispered. “Can I get dressed?” she asked him sweetly.

“You already are. You look beautiful,” he added.

“I’m in work clothes. See?” she held out the bottom of her skirt and showed him a purple paint stain. “Lizzie spilled purple paint on me this morning. Honestly, if she wasn’t so adorable I would have killed her,” she said smiling.

Julian laughed and then walked to the closet. Sydney knew that he was picking out her dress for her, but she couldn’t see which one he was going for. Finally he turned around and held up a black dress with a slit up to the top of the thigh that went somewhat diagonally, and it had some embroidered flowers decorating it. “Oh, that’s beautiful Julian,” she gasped.

“Nothing’s too beautiful for you.”

Sydney changed into the dress and they headed into the dining room which was also lit by candles. Julian lit a fire in the fireplace and they ate a delicious gourmet meal that he had specially made for her.

When they finished eating Sydney and Julian danced to beautiful Cuban guitar music that happened to be Sydney’s favourite. They danced for hours before Julian turned off the music. Sydney wondered why until he turned around. In his hand was a small black box. He walked up to Sydney and dropped to one knee.

“Sydney, I have loved you for so long now, and I could never have even thought of you coming to love me. I don’t know what I would do without you in my life. You have saved me, given me everything that I could have dreamed of, given me so much more than I deserve. Love you more than anything in the world and I would do anything for you. I can’t live my life without you beside me. Will you marry me?” he asked her.

Sydney just stared at him and opened her mouth, but nothing came out. Instead of saying anything, because that didn’t seem to be working, she pulled Julian up to her and kissed him passionately. When he pulled away, she noticed that he was shaking slightly. It was then that she noticed how nervous he must have been. She then breathed in and said, “Yes!”

He picked her up and twirled her around. He took her left hand and placed the ring on her finger. He kissed her again with such passion that they forgot about anything that wasn’t in their little world of love at that moment. They barely made it to the bedroom before tearing off each other’s clothing and collapsing onto the bed in extreme passion.

* * * * * *

Sydney and Julian had been engaged for three weeks when it started. She kept it from Julian because she knew it would break his heart. This morning she woke up and instantly ran to the bathroom, emptying the contents of her stomach. Recently, she had been sleeping much more than usual. She was glad that Julian hadn’t noticed yet. He had been working a lot recently, trying to get a new job as a languages teacher at the same school she worked at. He was great with kids.

The thought of children brought her to tears in the small bathroom. She sat with her back against the bathtub and cried until she saw Julian looking at her concerned in front of her. “Love, what’s wrong?” he asked as he pulled her into his arms.

“It’s back,” she whispered into his neck.

Not understanding what she was talking about, his mind strayed to the worst thoughts possible. He put on a calm tone, “What’s back, love?”

“The cancer,” she whimpered, “I think it’s back,” she began to sob against him. As soon as she had said cancer he froze. He stopped breathing. His mind stopped working. He just froze.

After a few minutes he picked her up and brought her back to the bedroom. He got dressed and then picked up some clothes for Sydney and began to undress her. “What are you doing?” she asked tearfully.

“I’m getting you dressed. We’re going to the doctor right now,” he said. Sydney nodded and began to help him get her dressed. She was unable to do it on her own because she was trembling.

They got into the car and were at the doctor’s office within fifteen minutes. Julian had called on the way there to tell him that it was an emergency and they needed to be seen right away. The office happened to be in the doctor’s home, so he was able to see them before normal office hours.

Sydney sat on a cold bench with her sleeve rolled up. The doctor came in and took a needle from a drawer, explaining to Sydney that they were going to analyze the blood, checking for traces of cancer. Julian sat by her side, holding her hand the entire time.

They left the doctor’s office and went to see a movie, trying to get their minds off things. The only movie playing at the right time was a spy flick. They gladly saw it and happened to be the only people in the theatre at the time, so they spent their time mocking the actors and pointing out everything that they were doing wrong. It was one of the things that they just loved to do. Watching the movie actually took their minds off everything for a while, and when they left the theatre they tried to get something to eat, but it didn’t really work out. Both Sydney and Julian had no appetite because of their nerves.

Two hours later, they received a call from the doctor asking them to come back for the results. Sydney and Julian were asked to go into the same room they had left a few hours ago. Sydney sat on the same cold table and Julian took his place in the seat next to her and held her hand. The doctor came in and took one look at Sydney before he broke into a smile. “Good news Miss Bristow, the cancer is not back.”

Sydney squeezed Julian’s hand and exhaled. Julian stood and kissed her forehead. “That’s so great Syd,” he said kissing her lips softly.

“So do you know what’s making me sick?” she asked the doctor.

He nodded and smiled, “Congratulations Miss Bristow, you’re pregnant.”

Julian’s face instantly lightened up. He looked over at Sydney who looked shocked. The doctor noticed that Sydney hadn’t moved and wasn’t breathing. “Miss Bristow are you alright?” he asked quickly. Sydney looked up at him and a small smile began to creep up on her face.

“I’m pregnant,” she stated quietly. “Oh my god, I’m pregnant!” she squealed. She jumped off the bench and hugged Julian, “We’re having a baby!”

“Yes, we are having a baby,” he whispered. The doctor laughed.

“Miss Bristow, we’ll need to give you a referral to another doctor to do an ultrasound soon, and I’ll give you a prescription for your prenatal pills. So far everything looks good. Just rest, no drinking, no smoking, no travelling in your third trimester… But other than that, you can live your life normally. Congratulations again, both of you.”

Sydney and Julian shook the doctor’s hand before leaving together. “I am so happy that I’m pregnant,” Sydney said as they got into the car, “I was so scared thinking that it was cancer. I didn’t want to leave you.”

“I don’t ever want to be without you Sydney. That’s why we’re getting married.”

“Can we get married really soon?” she asked.

Julian looked over at her and smiled. He took her hand in his, “We could drive to Vegas right now and do it if you wanted to.”

Sydney laughed and shook her head, “I think we should tell my father and Nadia all of this first. And I wasn’t thinking today, I was thinking about next month. That way we know if the baby’s okay and I can still look thin in my dress.”

“You’re going to be the sexiest pregnant woman in the world.”

Sydney laughed, “I’m going to be fat. Are you saying that you want me to be fat?” she asked.

“No, that’s not what I meant. I think that you’ll look incredibly sexy with that baby in you because I’ll know that it’s a product of our love for each other.”

Sydney smiled and then giggled, “When did you get so sappy?” she asked, “What happened to the cocky British bastard that I fell in love with?”

“I don’t know if you’d want him around our child. Something might happen. They might learn to be like me.”

“Well, that’s true. I don’t want our child to be in the same life we lived. I want our baby to have both parents and not a dead one with the other not actually being a part of its life. I don’t want it to be like us.”

“I wouldn’t mind a little girl that looks like you running around the yard. A little girl wearing a pink dress with pigtails and chubby cheeks, who smiles at her mother and giggles when you tickle her sides…” he drifted off as they turned a corner and got to the house.

“It looks like you’ve given this a lot of thought,” she smiled, “But one BIG rule,” she said seriously, “No guns in any place that could be accessed by our child.”

Julian nodded seriously, “I would never dream of it,” he said. They went into the house and smiled, knowing that one day they would enter the house carrying their baby. “Also, we should increase the security here. I don’t want someone getting in here without us knowing.”

Sydney nodded and hugged him tightly, “We should call everyone and get them over here so we can tell them.”

“Your father is going to kill me.”

They both laughed before Sydney went to the phone and dialled the first number, “Hey, dad. Can you please come to the house? Yeah, everything’s just fine. I need to talk to you though. Okay, thanks. See you soon!” she said cheerfully before hanging up the phone. She then repeated the gesture by calling Vaughn, Weiss and Jennifer. They had waited for their wedding because they wanted to make sure that Sydney was going to be alright. They wanted to have her at the wedding and needed to know that she was healthy enough to participate in the ceremony.

An hour later everyone was gathered in the backyard looking at each other in confusion. Sydney and Julian sat on a small bench in front of the others, who were sitting on chairs. The pair smiled at each other before turning to the group, “We’re engaged,” Julian said like a lovesick puppy.

Vaughn looked like he was going to be sick and Jack’s face was stoic. No emotion was passing over his face; it was just a look of complete and utter shock. Weiss and Jennifer however looked excited. “That’s wonderful!” they both said. “I can help you with the wedding plans!” Jennifer squealed.

Sydney smiled and nodded, “Um… another thing…” she bit her bottom lip and looked at her father. “This morning I woke up and well… I felt nauseas and kind of freaked out. That was the first thing that happened before I was diagnosed with the cancer last year. Julian and I panicked and went straight to the doctor’s,” her father looked like he was about to cry. There wasn’t a moment that she could remember that he had ever shown this kind of emotion before. Well, other than the time she turned up on his doorstep announcing that she was dying. “We found out that I’m pregnant,” she said as a smile broke out on her face. Julian smiled as well and kissed her temple before glancing at Jack.

Jack let out a breath and slowly, a smile crept over his face. “So to be clear, you’re not dying?” he asked.

Sydney shook her head and smiled, “Not dying,” she answered.

“I can’t believe my daughter’s getting married,” he said. He got out of his seat and hugged her, “By the way, I approve of him,” he whispered.

“You do?” she asked as they pulled away.

“He’s stood by you through everything. He really loves you Sydney.”

Sydney kissed her father’s cheek, “Thank you daddy.”

She looked at Jennifer who was talking to Weiss, and judging by his reaction Jennifer told him something along the lines of ‘I want a baby too’. He jumped off the bench and screamed, “ARE YOU CRAZY!?” before sitting back down. He saw her hurt face and kissed her forehead before saying, “Not until after we’re married,” she giggled and got out of her chair.

Jennifer smiled at Sydney and gave her congratulations before Vaughn made any movement. He stood and hugged Sydney telling her congratulations before he kissed her cheek and left. “Vaughn,” Sydney cried out after him, “Please Vaughn.”

He turned around harshly, “Look, Syd I want to be happy for you. And I really am, but I can’t help but be jealous. I wanted you to be with me! I wanted this to be you and me, announcing our engagement. I wanted that baby to be ours.”

A tear ran down her cheek, “I’m sorry Vaughn, but things are different now. I’m with Julian and I’m happy.”

“I know, and that’s what makes things better. Because, as much as I love you, I just want you to be happy, and you’re happy with him. I want to be your friend though, if that’s alright.”

“Well, that’s a change in the discussion,” she mumbled but nodded, “I want to be your friend too, Vaughn.”

They hugged and he left through the front door. Sydney jumped when Julian came up behind her and put his arms around her waist, “Everything alright, love?” he asked.

“Jesus! You scared me.”

He laughed and kissed her head, “Sorry,” he sheepishly apologized, “So is everything alright with Vaughn?” he asked.

“It will be, he just needs some time.”

“So earlier, was that really your father saying that he approves of me?” Julian asked.

Sydney laughed, “I think it was.”

Sydney turned around and kissed him softly. They walked back out to the backyard and saw Jack, Weiss and Jennifer talking to each other. Jack asked them if they had thought about a wedding date yet, “Um…” Sydney answered, “We’re planning on next month. That way it’s before the baby arrives and I can still fit in a wedding dress without looking like a whale.”

“Syd, you won’t look like a whale,” Weiss quickly countered.

“I’m going to gain like thirty pounds in the next nine months, I’m going to look like a beached whale!” she screamed before breaking into sobs. “I’m going to be hideous and everyone’s going to hate me and Julian’s going to leave me and I’m not going to be able to take care of the baby and…”

Julian cut her off with a kiss. “Syd,” he said when they broke apart, “I will never leave you. You are going to look like a goddess. You really are. We are going to be together, and we will love this baby more than anything in the world.”

“I’m so sorry, Julian, it’s these stupid hormones,” she laughed, “I don’t even know why I’m crying.”

“Great,” Julian sighed, “Nine months of this,” he whispered and Jack chuckled.

“Laura was unbelievable. She cried almost twelve hours a day. It was impossible for her to stop sometimes. Hopefully Sydney won’t be like that.”

Sydney groaned, “I don’t want that to happen to me,” she laughed.

“Well we have to make an appointment with the doctor to see how far along she is, and the due date.”

“I think we should do the amniotic test to see if there are any traces of genetic abnormalities,” Sydney said.

“If you want to, love.”

Twenty minutes later everyone had left and Sydney and Julian were once again alone in their home. “Syd, do you want to find out the sex of the baby before it’s born?” Julian asked suddenly.

“I don’t know, do you?”

He nodded, “I want to get the nursery ready for this little one,” he said as he rubbed her stomach lovingly, “before it comes.”

Sydney smiled at him, “What would the other terrorists say if they could see you like this right now?” she asked him jokingly.

He laughed and shook his head.

* * * * * *

“Come on, Syd you are strong, you can do this!” Julian screamed as another contraction tore through his wife’s body. She was pushing as hard as she could and within a few seconds a shrill scream from a new life’s lungs tore through the room.

“It’s a girl,” was the next thing he heard. He looked over at Sydney who had tears running down her face. Julian had to admit that there were tears in his eyes as he watched the doctors check his daughter’s vitals. A few moments later she was in his arms, intently paying attention to the new world around her.

“Hello beautiful,” he whispered, “You are the most beautiful baby girl in the world.”

He placed her in Sydney’s arms and she instantly smiled at her, “Hey sweetheart,” she whispered. Julian kissed Sydney’s forehead and whispered that he loved her. “What should we name her?” she asked him.

“I was thinking about Lily for her middle name,” he admitted. Sydney smiled at him and then looked back at their daughter who had just fallen asleep in her arms, “How about you pick her first name,” he added.

“I don’t know if you’d feel bad about it, but would Francine be okay?” she asked tentatively.

Julian nodded and smiled, “Francine Lily Lazarey?” he asked with a smile on his face. He looked down at their little bundle of joy and then at Sydney, who began to smile, “It’s perfect.”

“Hey Francie,” Sydney whispered to the sleeping baby, “We love you so much.” Sydney looked up at Julian and smiled, “So what are we going to tell her about how we met?” she said jokingly.

“We’ll figure it out,” he replied, “We are spies, after all.”

The two spies watched their daughter sleep for a while longer as they watched their new, normal life begin to unfold before them. Sydney was no longer living a life of loss, but a life with a happy ending.

The End



Please review guys. This was the last update, so I want lots of reviews!!! :D Thanks for reading!

I've noticed that Sarkney is kind of dead over at this board, but I'm glad I posted this anyways!

I've just started the sequel, if you want to read it, it's over at SD-1.net. I'm under the same username there too.
 
First, I am SO sorry I have been a bad reviewer! I will make it up by doing a really LONG quotey one later. (y)

Anyways, that was AMAZING, just amazing.

Excellent writing, it makes you want to cry and smile at the same time.

😌
 
awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww
luv it
sorry it took me so long
n wow that was a lot of chapters :D
luv it
i was so scared you were going to kill syd off :thinking:
glad u didn't
luv the ending
thanks for all the pms

luv Chicketepee :seehearspeak:
 
Oh, my God...

Emotional overload...

Like, holy felgercarb.

That was amazing!
Simply, brilliant!

The cancer thing was completely out of the blue, like, I didnt expect it at all. And I love how everyone stuck together for her, even Vaughn, and that she was able to overcome it.

I'm sooo happy that her and Julian said I love you's. That was great!

And they're living the perfect little life they'd always wanted.
With a baby girl, at that.

I loved this fic so much!

I'm sorry it took me so long to review...
Honestly, I still have PM's from the beginning of January that I havent gotten around to yet...

But, you did an absolutely amazing job with this!
Just, like...wow.

Thanks for the PMs, and putting up with my lack of response.
*_Ash
 
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