Pawns are played in a chess game like decoys, you watch your opponent use the pawns and marvel at how stupid they could be for making that move, until you hear “Checkmate” and you realize what they did, and you ponder how you could have let them….
That’s how Sydney felt, like a pawn, a measly pawn in this great game of chess she was living. Why did she let this happen? Back and forth she let her self move, sliding around the board not sure where she was going next, but now it felt more like someone had gotten angry and threw the chess board on the wall, leaving her, the measly pawn, broken and on the ground.
“I don’t understand why he recommended this.” Sydney sighed, ‘It’s not my fault I’m depressed, s*** happens.’ Her thoughts went from confusion to anger as she spoke to the flaxen haired woman in front of her. “Dr. Navaro, I realize agent Kendall wants me to talk to someone, but I truly feel fine.” Eyes were rolling, breath forced and heavy. “Sydney, I realize that, but it’s mandatory if asked by a ranking officer.” The psychiatrist was nice enough, yet Sydney had never felt good talking about her problems to other people, it made her feel whiney. “Yes, my world has fallen apart the past few days, but I know how to deal with my problems. I don’t need help.” Sydney looked the woman straight in the eye while telling her why she shouldn’t be in the office, yet the doctor kept an imperialistic look upon her face. “Fine, Agent Bristow, if you feel that way, you can leave.” A stony expression stayed on her features, and Sydney nodded and left the room.
Finally outside Syd let a relieved sigh fall out her mouth. Yet the more she thought about it the more she wanted back in that little stuffy room with over stuffed chairs and pictures of the ocean on the wall. It was safer than in these halls, where everyone knew what happened, and gave her looks of sympathy, disgust, or wonderment. She was about to turn the cold handle and walk back in when she felt a hand on her shoulder.
“Sydney?” As a voice penetrated the silence Syd jumped, and turned around quickly ready to back hook kick anyone threatening. “Syd, I just heard, I’m sorry.” Another agent, dressed in a stunning suit smiled at her. “Thank you.” Sydney forced the words out like she had every time before that. The man nodded and began his way down the hall again. ‘Well there goes that idea.’ Syd thought to herself as she too started back down the hall.
A familiar display stopped her, and made her catch her breath. It was one she passed often, and always stopped to look at. The CIA building contained numerous cases filled with pictures, flags, and medals of deceased or retired agents, but this one was her favorite.
A marble backing lined the case, and spaced in equal intervals were single five pointed stars, each with a name on them. Agents who had died on duty had their names placed on these stars as homage to what they did for their country and the agency. Syd had studied this display hundreds of times, and she realized what was different about it, there was one more star. ‘Oh God.’ She mumbled, and felt as if she was going to be sick. There in front of her was the newest fallen star, she stared at it as if it was going to disappear, but she knew it was there to stay. Shiny and golden the new star read what she dreaded to see….”Michael Vaughn”
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That’s how Sydney felt, like a pawn, a measly pawn in this great game of chess she was living. Why did she let this happen? Back and forth she let her self move, sliding around the board not sure where she was going next, but now it felt more like someone had gotten angry and threw the chess board on the wall, leaving her, the measly pawn, broken and on the ground.
“I don’t understand why he recommended this.” Sydney sighed, ‘It’s not my fault I’m depressed, s*** happens.’ Her thoughts went from confusion to anger as she spoke to the flaxen haired woman in front of her. “Dr. Navaro, I realize agent Kendall wants me to talk to someone, but I truly feel fine.” Eyes were rolling, breath forced and heavy. “Sydney, I realize that, but it’s mandatory if asked by a ranking officer.” The psychiatrist was nice enough, yet Sydney had never felt good talking about her problems to other people, it made her feel whiney. “Yes, my world has fallen apart the past few days, but I know how to deal with my problems. I don’t need help.” Sydney looked the woman straight in the eye while telling her why she shouldn’t be in the office, yet the doctor kept an imperialistic look upon her face. “Fine, Agent Bristow, if you feel that way, you can leave.” A stony expression stayed on her features, and Sydney nodded and left the room.
Finally outside Syd let a relieved sigh fall out her mouth. Yet the more she thought about it the more she wanted back in that little stuffy room with over stuffed chairs and pictures of the ocean on the wall. It was safer than in these halls, where everyone knew what happened, and gave her looks of sympathy, disgust, or wonderment. She was about to turn the cold handle and walk back in when she felt a hand on her shoulder.
“Sydney?” As a voice penetrated the silence Syd jumped, and turned around quickly ready to back hook kick anyone threatening. “Syd, I just heard, I’m sorry.” Another agent, dressed in a stunning suit smiled at her. “Thank you.” Sydney forced the words out like she had every time before that. The man nodded and began his way down the hall again. ‘Well there goes that idea.’ Syd thought to herself as she too started back down the hall.
A familiar display stopped her, and made her catch her breath. It was one she passed often, and always stopped to look at. The CIA building contained numerous cases filled with pictures, flags, and medals of deceased or retired agents, but this one was her favorite.
A marble backing lined the case, and spaced in equal intervals were single five pointed stars, each with a name on them. Agents who had died on duty had their names placed on these stars as homage to what they did for their country and the agency. Syd had studied this display hundreds of times, and she realized what was different about it, there was one more star. ‘Oh God.’ She mumbled, and felt as if she was going to be sick. There in front of her was the newest fallen star, she stared at it as if it was going to disappear, but she knew it was there to stay. Shiny and golden the new star read what she dreaded to see….”Michael Vaughn”
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