Advice needed...

[VaughnFan13]

okay, I need a lil advice...see, i was talking to one of my friends, and i said what's up and she started talking about how her parents dont care about her...etc. anyways, after she finished, she asked me if i was happy right now and i just said...no comment because i'm not the sort of person who really discusses their feelings unless its anger or something (kinda like jack)...anyways, after i said that, she said "i told you all about me, and now you dont tell me anything about you?" so, she got upset, but i never asked her to share that information with me. i hate having people know about my personal stuff because in the past, i've shared parts of myself to people and word got around, and i was branded weird. anyways, she has asked me if i liked my parents and was happy with my life, and i'm not...but i cant tell that to anyone who knows me in rl...people will think i'm weird, and enough people think that already. so, anyways, yeah...and this isnt the first time this has happened...another time, one of my friends told me her crush and asked me for mine, and i wouldnt tell her...i dont trust people very much for some reason. so, anyways...she got mad too. this has happened numerous times. what do you think i should do? i'm a very private person, and the only time i spill my thoughts and true feelings and tell everything to is my journal. what should i say to my friends? i mean, they tell me so much about themselves and theirlives, and i tell them...pretty much nothing really personal

 

[Sophie]

it's your right if you don't want to !! if they're really good friends you can try to share some of your feelings w/ them, if you really can't they'll understand !

 

[xdancer]

You are under no obligation to share anything with anyone that you don't want to. You don't have to change your personality for others. If these people are really your friends, they shouldn't pressure you.

 

[nancee]

tell her "foo if i dont wanna talk about it leave me alone. if u cant accpet that then suck it up"... i mean it

 

[wildwildrae]

seems like you should be saying everything you just said in that paragraph.

Sidenote: A true friend accepts and loves you for every one of your insecurities.

Rachel

 

[aliaschick4mv]

If you don't want to tell her, then explain to her why not. Granted, she might get annoyed, saying that you don't trust her, but stick to your principles. Just calming explain that it isn't anything personal, you don't tell personal stuff to anybody, and just launch into a convo about someone who did something stupidly funny today.

 

[Existentialist]

If you don't want to tell her, then explain to her why not. Granted, she might get annoyed, saying that you don't trust her, but stick to your principles. Just calming explain that it isn't anything personal, you don't tell personal stuff to anybody, and just launch into a convo about someone who did something stupidly funny today.

Exactly! If you don't want to go into your personal life, then that's fine, and since she's your friend, she should understand and respect that. And you're under no obligation to tell anyone anything, even if they tell you stuff.

 

[pasta_sauce385]

i agree...and if they do ask something you don't want to answer, ask them "why do you want to know?"

 

[aliasjgfanaticmv]

exactly and ditto to all those. Friends will respect each other's privacy and won't probe into your life if you don't want them to. I'm sure if you explain they'll back off. I know how you feel, I'm not really all for telling many people how I really feel in offline life because they'll just tell everyone else and then everyone knows and is whispering about it and lookin at you funny...But anyways, yeah, if they're real friends, they'll understand if you explain it to them

 

[Sunfire_77]

Vaughnfan. I agree with you. I use to tell my friends things. Then I got stabbed in the back and it hurt so now I keep things private. I vow to never get hurt again............... I now find it easier to keep things to myself. I know I wont betray myself......


so I agree....

 

[alias_fan]

same thing happened to me sunfire...and it practically ruined me and 2 years later i'm still trying to figure everything out and wishing i could have changed what happened. i try to stay as guarded as i can. don't say tell them anything you don't want to.

 

[Rambaldi_Follower]

you shouldn't have to say anything you don't want too.

 

[Kara]

I'm generally very private, I have things I don't tell my friends for the simple reason that I don't want to. If they want to share feelings with you, then that's great, but just because they share feelings with you doesn't mean you have to with them. It doesn't work like that with friends. If I don't want to tell someone something, I tell them that I don't want to tell them. (Did that make sense? :lol: ) Just let your friends know that you're more of a private person. They should respect your privacy, and if, in time, you decide to share things, then they'll be the first ones to know.

 

[SydB_JenG]

Vaughnfan. I agree with you. I use to tell my friends things. Then I got stabbed in the back and it hurt so now I keep things private. I vow to never get hurt again............... I now find it easier to keep things to myself. I know I wont betray myself......


so I agree....

well...you werent "stabbed" at all...and thats probably why your friends "stabbed you in the back"...just a thought...

 

[Scarlet Crystal]

hmm... maybe just tell them that. exactly what you posted here. they don't have to tell you anyting u know.

 

[Bevinski]

i agree with everyone...if you dont want to tell them personal info, then don't tell them, even if they are pressuring...they will probably eventually give up...im the same way, and my friends have gotten used to it

 

[feeling_like_a_spy]

don't worry. i don't like telling others about my personal life very much. the thing is, you don't really HAVE TO tell them anything back. but they have to understand that it's still your choice whether you want to share your feelings or not. the reason why they're so offended is because they've told you so much about themselves (it's personal for them too) and they're just used to the "i tell you something, you tell me something" thing. before you start those personal conversations again, try to remind them that you're not used to saying your personal information... they'll try to understand.

 

[SiriCerasi]

Vaughnfan. I agree with you. I use to tell my friends things. Then I got stabbed in the back and it hurt so now I keep things private. I vow to never get hurt again............... I now find it easier to keep things to myself. I know I wont betray myself......


so I agree....

well...you werent "stabbed" at all...and thats probably why your friends "stabbed you in the back"...just a thought...

hmm... good theory...

 

[Sunfire_77]

Vaughnfan. I agree with you. I use to tell my friends things. Then I got stabbed in the back and it hurt so now I keep things private. I vow to never get hurt again............... I now find it easier to keep things to myself. I know I wont betray myself......


so I agree....

well...you werent "stabbed" at all...and thats probably why your friends "stabbed you in the back"...just a thought...

hmm... good theory...

Monica. what exactly are you getting at..... I am just curious.....

Sorry I guess I just dont understand quite what yoru saying....


^__^ Silly me..... -_-


But I dont understand much these days so........ ^_^

 

[SiriCerasi]

Vaughnfan. I agree with you. I use to tell my friends things. Then I got stabbed in the back and it hurt so now I keep things private. I vow to never get hurt again............... I now find it easier to keep things to myself. I know I wont betray myself......


so I agree....

well...you werent "stabbed" at all...and thats probably why your friends "stabbed you in the back"...just a thought...

hmm... good theory...

Monica. what exactly are you getting at..... I am just curious.....

Sorry I guess I just dont understand quite what yoru saying....


^__^ Silly me..... -_-


But I dont understand much these days so........ ^_^

what the hell you fully understand what shes saying