From the Joint Task Force Command Center in Los Angeles, California…
TOP TEN SIGNS THAT SHOULD HAVE TIPPED OFF JACK BRISTOW THAT HIS FAVORITE WIFE WAS ACTUALLY AN EVIL SOVIET SPY:
10. Vodka in the morning, vodka with lunch, vodka at evening meal, midnight vodka break.
9. Favorite secret nickname for hubby: Big Ivan.
8. Slitting the throat of the waiter who screwed up their dinner order was a little…much.
7. Laura: "Jack, Syd, dinner's ready!" Syd: "Mom, please not borscht AGAIN?!"
6. Giggled whenever Bill Vaughn made any reference to ‘future plans’.
5. Her explanation for the 38th time Jack caught her rifling through his briefcase at 3:00 am (“Uh…honey, I was…sleepwalking yeah that’s the ticket!”) was really kind of lame.
4. Whenever Jack complained about credit card bills, her use of the phrase ‘capitalist swine’ in the ensuing heated argument highly suspicious.
3. Chistmas morning, 1980: Santa left Jack a shiny new infra-red laser-enhanced sniper scope, Syd a shiny new Spy Barbie, and Laura a shiny chunk of bituminous, again.
2. It was really damn strange how every time Jack mentioned he and his spybuddies were going overseas ‘on business’, the enemy always seemed to know exactly where they would be, when they would be there, and what they were doing, but somehow always got Jack’s hotel room number wrong for the bomb with his name on it.
and the number one sign that should have made Jack Bristow suspicious...
1. When watching Rocky and Bullwinkle with little Sydney, showed disconcerting tendency to root for Boris and Natasha.
TOP TEN SIGNS THAT SHOULD HAVE TIPPED OFF JACK BRISTOW THAT HIS FAVORITE WIFE WAS ACTUALLY AN EVIL SOVIET SPY:
10. Vodka in the morning, vodka with lunch, vodka at evening meal, midnight vodka break.
9. Favorite secret nickname for hubby: Big Ivan.
8. Slitting the throat of the waiter who screwed up their dinner order was a little…much.
7. Laura: "Jack, Syd, dinner's ready!" Syd: "Mom, please not borscht AGAIN?!"
6. Giggled whenever Bill Vaughn made any reference to ‘future plans’.
5. Her explanation for the 38th time Jack caught her rifling through his briefcase at 3:00 am (“Uh…honey, I was…sleepwalking yeah that’s the ticket!”) was really kind of lame.
4. Whenever Jack complained about credit card bills, her use of the phrase ‘capitalist swine’ in the ensuing heated argument highly suspicious.
3. Chistmas morning, 1980: Santa left Jack a shiny new infra-red laser-enhanced sniper scope, Syd a shiny new Spy Barbie, and Laura a shiny chunk of bituminous, again.
2. It was really damn strange how every time Jack mentioned he and his spybuddies were going overseas ‘on business’, the enemy always seemed to know exactly where they would be, when they would be there, and what they were doing, but somehow always got Jack’s hotel room number wrong for the bomb with his name on it.
and the number one sign that should have made Jack Bristow suspicious...
1. When watching Rocky and Bullwinkle with little Sydney, showed disconcerting tendency to root for Boris and Natasha.