Sci-Fi Alien Super-Dooper Planet Killer

Tom

An Old Friend
Joined
Dec 6, 2004
Location
Gulf Coast
You are an alien that has traveled here from another part of the galaxy.
Your mission is to kill those pesky Earthlings and end all life on the planet and their threat to the galaxy.

Will you blow up the planet?
Will you go down there and kill in person?

King Glooberhurst directed that you be creative in your extermination methods so a recording can be flashed to other potentially pesky civilizations as a warning.

Will you go for efficiency or torturous sadistic brutality?
Do you wish to send a message of our simplicity in terminating a planet or are you looking to make a statement of dedication to the cause?

What is your preferred method? Its okay to have more than one method because it gets boring flying around all day.
 

Tom

An Old Friend
Joined
Dec 6, 2004
Location
Gulf Coast
Lets see...

I'd hook my tractor beam up to a planetiod in the Oort Cloud and drag it to the far side of the Sun in Earth's orbital path. I'd stop all its movement and fracture it into about a dozen nice sized chunks.
Then I would take up a spot above the Sun and watch as Earth comes around on the guitar and runs into my silly little trap. Tee Heee Heee... They see it but can't do anything about it [snort] hahaha. Gotta be sure to record all their planetary frequencies.

"Sir, we're gunna hit a bunch of rocks that used to be a planet!"
"When will they get here?"
"They're not moving, sir. We are!"
"PUT ON THE BRAKES!!! PUT ON THE BRAKES!!!"
"What Brakes Sir?"
"AHHHHH"
Thunk, thunk, thunk bobble, boble, willy thunk.
 

Tom

An Old Friend
Joined
Dec 6, 2004
Location
Gulf Coast
Okay Julipererten, You stay here and I'll go over to that side of the Solar System.
The idea is to initiate collisions that ultimately impact Earth.

You get 1 point for each collision.
You get 2 points if one collision splits and results in a double impact.
You get 5 points if you include their Moon in the combo.

Okay, I go first...
I'm gunna do the thrice around the system, double loop back - 6,000 point, Moon Kills Earth shot with a single pico-second sensor reading.
Watch this! (Hold my beer)
 

Tom

An Old Friend
Joined
Dec 6, 2004
Location
Gulf Coast
King Glooberhurst, Mission accomplished.
I planted a pregnant Phentillian Carbon Eater in their rainforest.
The planet should be gone in about 6 days.
 

Tom

An Old Friend
Joined
Dec 6, 2004
Location
Gulf Coast
The "Suitcase" as been placed on the far side of the Moon according to your instructions.
Activate Gravity Amplification Drive...

Suitcase opens and a nearly invisible jet streams outward.

Slowly at first but gaining speed the Moon Moves closer to the Earth.
Faster and faster it gains the distance.

This is gunna be GREAT!
 

Tom

An Old Friend
Joined
Dec 6, 2004
Location
Gulf Coast
[[[woao woao, woao, woao, woao, woao, woao]]]

A bobblehead ray? Oh c'mon Tom can't you think of anything cool?

I know its lame but watch what happens at the point of maximum mass expansion...
[[[Sploik]]]
P r e t t y
 

ByGoneYrs

Gaelic Oracle
Joined
Sep 25, 2017
Location
USA, Southern New Jersey
Travel to high Earth orbit and listen and study the earthlings for a while and let them see you...! Your ship is like 2 miles wide and big as day, hanging above the earth...but silent!!!

Then send out a signal that disrupts all communication on the planet...and play the following and keep repeating it again and again!!!


Then after 24 hours, begin to drop Thermal Plasma Nuclear bombs in the atmosphere and have them explode in high orbit and burn the atmosphere off the planet. Send the video to the galactic news for all to see back home!!!
 
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Tom

An Old Friend
Joined
Dec 6, 2004
Location
Gulf Coast
ATTENTION PLANET EARTH, WE HAVE YOUR STAR SYSTEM SURROUNDED
King Glooberhurst HAS ORDERED YOUR ANNIHILATION.
47 OF YOUR EARTH YEARS AGO WE FIRED A JOINT ASSAULT ON YOUR SYSTEM
YOU ARE ALREADY DEAD AND YOUR STAR IS ALREADY DESTROYED. IT JUST HASN'T GOT THERE YET.
PLEASE STAND BY...
THIS IS A PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT
 

Tom

An Old Friend
Joined
Dec 6, 2004
Location
Gulf Coast
Whaaa, That little planet...a threat?
Seriously?

Yup, we've been ordered to take it out.

Seriously? By who?

King Glooberhurst

Seriously? He feels threatened by them?

Yup

Did he say how? How we should assure their demise?

He suggested to be creative...

Creative? Seriously?

Yup, creative.

Lemme think a second...

Can we just blow their atmosphere off to space like we did with those Martians?

He did say creative...

Hang on....

I got nuthin...

WAIT... be right back.

He goes down to the sample deck and grabs a small black box and heads back to the control room.
Holds up the box and grins

No, that's just not right.

Well, you said he wants creative.

He tosses the box onto the teleporter and hits a control and whoosh, gone.

The box appears in the Earth's Pacific Ocean and dissolves. The reactions starts a cascade effect on all the water in, on and around the planet. Everything that has water is quickly turned to a cement like substance.
The atmosphere falls out of the sky and the Earth becomes one solid brick.

Creative enough?
 

Tom

An Old Friend
Joined
Dec 6, 2004
Location
Gulf Coast
Okay fellas, You gotta take some landers and go down there and grab some of them humans.
Take them aboard and do weird stuff to them and put them back. Save some for later tho.
Be sure to avoid cows at all costs. If you encounter a cow, destroy it.
Try not to practice any of your artwork on their fields either, they hate that.
Get them all worked up and scared.
Sit back and have some popcorn and watch them destroy themselves.
It'll be a short story but should prove to be quite entertaining.
 

ByGoneYrs

Gaelic Oracle
Joined
Sep 25, 2017
Location
USA, Southern New Jersey
You know dropping Thermal Plasma Nuclear bombs worked real well on the 4th planet in this solar system, these humans of Earth call that planet Mars. We burned off that planets atmosphere a couple thousand years ago and well we will do the same to this planet. This solar system is a major pain in the butt, will they never learn?
 

Tom

An Old Friend
Joined
Dec 6, 2004
Location
Gulf Coast
Okay, we have Eiensteins, Teslas and Copernicus models left. The Hawking model comes with its own chair.
Go down there and steer these freaks in different directions. Be convincing and they will believe anything.

But sir, how is this going to destroy Earth?

Its not but it will be fun, you wanna have some fun first doncha?

Later on we can just drop a particle in their machine and cause an instability that consumes the planet.
Lets have some fun first. We can tell them a lil about atoms and quantum and black holes and strings and get them really going.
 

Tom

An Old Friend
Joined
Dec 6, 2004
Location
Gulf Coast
<<<I AM YOUR GOD>>>
<<<YOU WILL KILL EVERYONE THAT DOESN'T BELIEVE IN ME>>>

c'mon, cut that out, they'll never believe that

wanna bet?
 

Tom

An Old Friend
Joined
Dec 6, 2004
Location
Gulf Coast
FIRE the reaction pods
How come you told them they were Leg Chambers?
What is a Leg Chamber?

I dunno, just made it up. Told them I was sending them some Leg Chambers to make it easier for them to communicate with us.

Yeah, but why Leg Chambers?

I was thinking about Zythilium's legs when I was talking to them and it just stuck in my mind.

Yeah, she has some of the most wonderful sets of legs, all 6 sets are gorgeous.
 

ByGoneYrs

Gaelic Oracle
Joined
Sep 25, 2017
Location
USA, Southern New Jersey
Attention humans of Earth we have returned...we are sorry to say we made a mistake when we created you, we added a gene that made you develop into different races (Colors). We have decides to let you resolve the issue yourselves. Pick one color and kill all the rest, and when we return we will uplift just that one color. If when we return and you have not done as we asked we will simply kill you all and start again but this time we will fix our mistake with your genes. Have a nice day...The Gods!!!

Then tell them we will play some listening music for all to listen to that we think fits...play it none stop for a year...LOL!!!

 
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Tom

An Old Friend
Joined
Dec 6, 2004
Location
Gulf Coast
Quadrant Commander Arriving {Ding}

You were told to be creative! (whacks Captain Norble on the head and it splatters against the console)
Put your head back together and explain why they are still alive!

(The captain fiddles about with his head a minute or so and starts to explain ...)

Forget it.
When exactly is your little plan going to end these freaks?

well...

Forget it.
I'm taking over.

Send a ship to that planet and bring me back some pizza.
While you're there, separate and lift the tectonic plates and give them a good shake.

Yes sir! What do you want on your pizza sir?

Make it a Veggie Lovers with extra cheese.
 

sci-fi-dude

1963, 1899 called they want every thing back....
Joined
Jul 20, 2017
Location
DFW
I'm a good judge of folks feelings, cooking off the planet is a cry for attention, my suggestion is to get some of this.....
Dr. Sci-fi recommends taking 1 daily and call my office in the morning...;);)
 

Tom

An Old Friend
Joined
Dec 6, 2004
Location
Gulf Coast
Gravity nullification field in place.
Mass is 10,000 times that of their star.
Solar Orbit set to match Earth, half way between Earth and Mars.
Neutron Star fragment roughly the size of an average asteroid.
No chatter on its detection evident.
Turn off the nullification field.
 

Tom

An Old Friend
Joined
Dec 6, 2004
Location
Gulf Coast
He wants to do what?

Captain wants you to get a fix on all the bones on their planet.
He then wants you to transport, only their bones, 2 meters to the left.

He's ready Captain.

Make it so.
 
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