Okay, stop the riots...new chapter!!! And I posted both parts...enjoy!
A/N: Before you begin it is my duty to tell you that this chapter is twice as long as the chapters previously, so I have two (revised: three) things to say:
One. Make sure you have lots of spare time, and be sure to laugh quietly, so you don’t alarm the people around you.
Two. I expect double the reviews for double the story, so R/R!!!!
Three (revised). I have divided the chapter into two parts. I have also named the chapters now. The other two things still apply.
Chapter 14, Part I
I Don’t Want Your Pants!
During the interval, Irina and Sydney got together, and were talking in hushed voices. Francie was attempting to revive Sark, and Alice was talking to Mike. Eric had pulled two extra yo-yos out of his pockets, and was teaching Jack and Dixon some of the tricks he knew. They could barely flick the yo-yo properly, so he had to teach them that first. It wasn’t as if he minded though. He enjoyed passing on the methods of this art to his friends. Well, he considered them friends. Eric didn’t get out of the office much. Sloane was still lying on the floor, next to the Purple table, unconscious. Kendal was sitting in his chair at the Red Devil table, head hung over onto his chest, arms by his side, sleeping. Marshall was talking to Doc, who was an amazing listener (A/N: Maybe because she is a qualified listener
). Allison was making good use of her spy training and was ‘extracting’ pina coladas from the other tables, and finishing them off. (A/N: Hi, my name is Allison, and I’m an alcoholic.) So far she had found four, and she hadn’t even gotten past the fourth table.
Hailey and Will then entered the room, and sat down at their table. The two were speaking in hushed voices for a while, when Hailey stood up. She looked around her table for an empty glass, but a quick glance around the room revealed that they were all on Black Sabbath’s table. Not to be deterred, Hailey simply yelled,
“ATTENTION PLEASE!!!!” When she had everyone’s (somewhat divided) attention, she continued.
“Thank you. I apologise for all of the recent intermissions, and promise there will be no more interruptions until you have all finished your songs. I realise that you also have lives, although not extensive lives, as you are still stuck in the cell. Therefore, we shall do the remaining three songs without breaks in between. In this way, you will also be able to get some rest before the next challenge in two days. And that brings us to the Green Bay Packers. The stage is all yours.”
Hailey bowed politely, and sat back down, taking Tippin’s hand into her own.
Alice walked on stage, took her mike out of it’s stand, and waited for Dixon to untangle himself from the yo-yo. After doing so, he ran up, apologised to her with a peck on the cheek, and took his mike out of the stand. Neither of them were even half as inebriated as the others, and as such, were fully functional. The pianist started, and the two of them were really in a groove, singing The Beatles ‘Twist and Shout’. Marcus sang it with soul, while Alice brought a more feminine quality to it. Neither one of them were particularly gifted singers, but they managed to pull off a very passionate rendition of the song. Marcus sang the main vocals, and Alice sang ‘back-up’, if it can be called that (because really, Alice sang just as much and just as loudly as Marcus). After the song, Alice and Dixon took a bow, and returned to their seats.
“Bravo you two. An amazing job, well worked, very passionate, 15 points. Well done. Next up we have the Blue Jays singing ‘Love Shack’ by the B-52’s (A/N: I may be 16, but I know and love this song. Not all of us are ignorant!) Get up there and SING!”
Sydney walked up on stage, and took her mike. She then realised that she was alone on the stage, and returned her mike to the stand before angrily stomping off the stage, and going over to her table. And there was Sark, passed out, head on table, snoring. Normal Sydney would have had patience. Drunk Sydney picked Sark’s head up off the table by his hair, slapped her hand across his face until he stirred, and pulled him up to the stage by his ear. A small whisper of ‘I taught her that’ was heard from the crowd. Sydney proceeded to place Sark in front of the mike, and leaned him on the stand. When he toppled over (prevented from hitting the floor only by Sydney’s quick reflexes), she called her mum up onto the stage to hold him upright, while she went over to the bar. She then returned the stage, and stuck a massive chunk of ice into Sark’s pants. That woke him up pretty damn quick. He jumped up and shoved his hands into his pants, trying to get the ice out, while screaming bloody murder in a high pitched girly shriek. By the time he found where the ice was, it had melted, and he was left with a wet patch, which made him look as though he had peed in his pants.
“You are worse than my mother! She only stuck the ice down my shirt! You are going to regret doing that.”
“I don’t want in your pants at the moment Sark, I want to sing this song, get some points and win this competition. I want to go home. I want to live in my house. And I repeat, I don’t want in your pants!”
“Fine. But you say that like it’s such a bad thing. There is nothing wrong with my pants.”
“There’s nothing wrong with your pants, that I agree with. It’s what’s in your pants that’ lacking.”
“Burn b****, burn!” shouted Francie from the crowd.
“That was really low Sydney. I didn’t think you would ever stoop that low.” Replied Sark. He was pouting, and looking dejected. “Can we just sing the song please.”
“Yes, we can. Mr. Pianist, start the music.”
Neither Sydney nor Sark seemed very in step with the song, and to begin with, they were only speaking the words. You can only imagine how exciting it would be to hear to adults say, in the blandest of voices, “If you see a faded sign at the side of the road—“ Anybody listening would have thought they were tortured into reading the prompts. That’s absolute rubbish of course, because Hailey was only going to torture them if they failed to go along with the plan. But then something happened to change that. As they were speaking “…at the side of the road that says fifteen miles to the—“ The entire crowd jumped into the song and yelled “LOVE SHACK!”
Sydney responded to this positive energy by actually singing.
“I’m headin’ down the Atlanta Highway, lookin’ for the love getaway, heading for the love getaway.”
Sark responded to Sydney’s singing by singing as well.
“I got me a car, it’s as big as a whale, and I’m headin’ on down to the—“
“LOVE SHACK!” The audience were really getting into the groove, and Sydney was feeding off of the energy, with Sark, in turn, feeding off of her energy.
“I bought me a Chrysler, it seats about twenty, so hurry up and bring your jukebox money.”
Then the two of them sang the chorus together, and it was a powerful and awesome chorus, with the audience singing along. They carried on in this manor, becoming more and more passionate, until they were dancing around each other, and looking into each other’s eyes. It wasn’t a romantic look, and it wasn’t a look of hatred. They were looking at each other as though this was a competition, and they were against each other, like lions inching towards the kill. Their performance became even more extreme, and with a still drunk Sydney dancing around the stage with Sark, and a stoned-looking Sark dancing around the stage with Sydney. They weren’t dancing together, and every time Sydney pulled off a stunt, Sark tried something even more extravagant. The performance become more heated, and more passionate, and by the time the climax came, the two were about ready to strip each other, and probably would have done it if Mike and Allison weren’t there to yank them off stage, and drag them back to their tables.
Hailey stood.
“That was definitely an interesting take on ‘Love Shack’, and you put lots of passion into your performance. However, I don’t think that this is really that sort of song, but I suppose it’s up to you how you interpret it. I’m going to give your team 20 points. I’m also giving Vaughn and Allison five points each for stopping the two of them, and thus saving us the ‘pleasure’ of seeing two piss-drunk people rip each other’s clothes off. It was most appreciated.”
Chapter 14, Part II
The Spy Family Band
“Next up we have Jack and Marshall singing ‘I Love Rock N Roll’ by Joan Jett and the Blackhearts. Take it away.”
Marshall and Jack walked up onto the stage. Jack took hold of his mike. Marshall picked up his mike, and tapped on it while saying ‘Testing, testing.’ Jack, who is not a patient man, barked at him, forcing the poor guy to jump and drop his mike. Marshall bent over to pick it up, and Jack signalled to the pianist. However, the pianist didn’t start playing the music, but simply stood up, walked over to the curtain, and opened it. Upon opening the curtain, he revealed all of the equipment seen when P!NK had performed, with one major difference. There were already people behind the instruments. Irina had taken up drums, and Syd had grabbed hold of the bass guitar. Jack picked up the lead guitar, and started jamming away with it. Marshall, who was obviously not expecting this, looked at Jack with his jaw dropped and his eyes bulging out of his head.
Irina started thumping away at the drum kit, and Syd had a real groove going with the bass. They had played the opening riff three times before Jack screamed “MARSHALL!” over the sound. Marshall jumped, of course, and started the song. His voice left a lot to be desired. It wasn’t awfully screechy, but he was so nervous he introduced an unreal amount of vibrato. However, when he eased up a little, he started really getting into the groove. Jack was stalking away on the stage with his guitar, and he took over the chorus from Marshall. He was every bit a rock star, and was really enjoying the song. While the song was going on, he and Marshall were equals. Actually, Marshall had the main lead of the song, Jack simply sung the chorus. The instruments were in perfect harmony with each other, and everyone was having a good time. When the song came to a halt (after both a guitar and a drum solo) Marshall screamed into his microphone,
“Put your hands together for the Spy Family Band everybody!”
Laura stepped out from behind the drum kit, Jack put his arms around hers and Sydney’s shoulders, and the Spy Family Band took a bow while the applause died down. They then all went back to their seats. Marshall was the last one on the stage, and he decided to seize the moment as it presented itself. He went and placed his mike in the stand, and picked up the guitar, which was leaning against the amp.
“GOODEVENING KASHMIR!!!” Marshall shouted into the mike, while putting his heavy metal devil horns into the air.
“MARSHALL!!!!” Jack screamed at him.
This brought him to his senses, and he yelped, while placing the guitar on the amp, and running back over to the Coldplay table, and sitting down next to Jack.
“Neat-o!” called Hailey as she stood up. “That was amazing! I loved it! 30 points for Coldplay, and 10 points each for the other members of the Spy Family! Okay then, last but not least we have Purple Nurple with ‘Man! I feel like a woman!’ originally by Shania Twain. Take it away ladies.”
The tune started, and Irina had the opening lines.
“I’m going out tonight, I’m feeling all right, Gonna let it all hang out.”
She managed to get the country nicely, for somebody who hadn’t grown up with country music like Doc had. Irina had a powerful voice, as one would expect of her. Doc took the next lines.
“Wanna make some noise, really raise my voice, Yeah I wanna scream and shout.”
Doc’s voice had more of a country twang to it, but she grew up with the likes of Willie Nelson, and had had a crush on Garth Brooks since he released his first album. Both women sung the song as if it was their personal anthem, and the passion they threw into it was amazing. They also had a bit of a dance routine going, and it was something else to watch. They each had their own lines, and then doubled up on the chorus, doubling the volume. It went something like this (shared parts in black, Irina in bold purple, Doc italicised purple):
“I’m going out tonight, I’m feeling all right
Gonna let it all hang out
Wanna make some noise, really raise my voice
Yeah I wanna scream and shout
No inhibitions, make no conditions
Get a little outta line
I ain’t gonna act politically correct
I only wanna have a good time
The best thing about being a woman
is the perogative to have a little fun and…
Oh, oh, oh, go totally crazy,
forget I’m a lady,
Men’s shirts, short skirts
Oh, oh, oh, really go wild
yeah doin it in style
Oh, oh, oh, get in the action,
feel the attraction
colour my hair,
do what I dare
Oh, oh, oh, I wanna be free
yeah to feel the way I feel
Man! I feel like a woman!
The girls need a break,
tonight we’re gonna take
the chance to get out on the town
We don’t need romance,
we only wanna dance
We’re gonna let our hair hand down
The best thing about being a woman
is the perogative to have a little fun and…
Oh, oh, oh, go totally crazy,
forget I’m a lady,
Men’s shirts, short skirts
Oh, oh, oh, really go wild
yeah doin it in style
Oh, oh, oh, get in the action,
feel the attraction
colour my hair,
do what I dare
Oh, oh, oh, I wanna be free
yeah to feel the way I feel
Man! I feel like a woman!
The best thing about being a woman
is the perogative to have a little fun and…
Oh, oh, oh, go totally crazy,
forget I’m a lady,
Men’s shirts, short skirts
Oh, oh, oh, really go wild
yeah doin it in style
Oh, oh, oh, get in the action,
feel the attraction
colour my hair,
do what I dare
Oh, oh, oh, I wanna be free
yeah to feel the way I feel
Man! I feel like a woman!
I get totally crazy
Can you feel it
Come on, come, come on baby
I feel like a woman!”
The song finished with a pose, and both ladies looked Hailey straight in the eyes.
“Now that,” started Hailey, “was a performance to rival Mrs. Twain’s own version. It was spectacular, inspiring and well thought out. As a result of this, and your combined efforts throughout the evenings competition, I award your team 30 points! Congratulations!
“And the final standings points-wise, if I have added them up correctly:
Red Devils with 5, P!NK with 45, Green Bay Packers with 50, Then tied for second place it’s, The Blue Jays, Coldplay and Black Sabbath with 55 points each, and in first place we have Purple Nurple with an amazing 95 points! Well done.
“Now, for something new. Mr Tippin. On Stage! We have a song to sing!!!”
“Miss Snackles, babe, I think you’re slight;y knackered.”
“Nonesense Lover Boy, I’m absolutely smashing! Smashing. Hehehe…You’re right Tippy. I’ve outdone myself this time. Now let us sing!”
“I think you should step off the stage, and sleep it off.”
“Oh come now Tippy baby. It’s ain’t over ‘til the fat lady sings, and I am fat, and I am going to sing!”
“Hailey, you are hardly fat. Now step off the stage before you hurt yourself.”
“Don’t patronise me Mr. Tippin. I am in charge here! I can stand on my own two feet!”
“I’m sure you can Miss Snackles. However I don’t think this is such a good id—“
Hailey tried to grab hold of Will’s tie, but he obviously wasn’t wearing tie, or a shirt for that matter, so she was simply swiping her hand across his chest.
“Oh forget it.” She said, and pulled him onto the stage by his pants.
“Now choose a song sexy, and sing it!” Hailey nearly fell off the stage as she thrust her hand into the air. This was (nearly) prevented because Irina had seen it coming, and leapt out of her chair (also drunk, it must be added) and caught Hailey, before throwing her back on stage, and into Mr. Tippin’s arms. He planted a soft kiss on her forehead, before asking her, one last time, to go back to her room and sleep it off.
“Garbage Mr. Tippin. Utter garbage! I am fine! And we shall sing! Now choose a song you sexy beast!”
Knowing that he wouldn’t win he agreed.
“All right then Hailey. But then you are going to bed, and you are going to sleep this off.”
“Yes yes, whatever you want Will. Now pick a damn song and let’s GET ROCKED!!!!!”
Will walked over to the pianist, and gave him the name of the song. The pianist nodded, and pulled out the music sheet. Will walked back over to Hailey, who was having difficulty pulling her mike out of it’s stand in her state. Will took it out for her, and then took up his own. The flick of a finger in the Pianists direction was the cue for the song to start, and it did just that.
“WAIT! I wanna choose the song!” Yelled Hailey over the intro. “I wanna sing that song about that bullfrog and the wine!”
“That’s the song I choose, babe. I thought you’d like it.”
“Oh. Okay then…play the song!!! Whopeee!!!!!”
“Jeremiah was a bullfrog!
Was a good friend of mine!
Something something something
Something something
And a whole lotta loads about Wine!
“Now you Will! Whoppee!!!! Chorus!”
“JOY TO THE WORLD!!!!!
All the boys and girls now!
Joy to the fishes in the deep blue sea
Joy to you and me!
“Sing it again!! Woohoo!!!”
Will was staring at Hailey, who was so unbelievably drunk she didn’t even notice. He could see she was getting out of hand, and she could barely see anything, she was so drunk. She was staggering around the stage, chanting drunkenly. Will, who was completely unimpressed by this (and worried about her state of mind) walked over to Hailey, picked her up, and threw her over his shoulder. She started kicking and screaming, but he ignored her. Over the racket she was making, he awarded Irina ten points for stopping Hailey from falling off the stage (technically it was 5 for the catch, and 5 for doing it piss drunk). He then told the guards to escort his ‘CIA mates’ back to their ‘rooms’, and proceeded to carry Hailey back to their room, where he would put her to bed.
She managed to wiggle free and, barely standing upright, yelled at the buff man standing ten metres away from her.
“GUA-ARD!!! Take these lovely prisoners back to their cell, and please ensure they each have a bed, blanket, pillow and lots of aspirin. They’ll want it come morning. I have to finish some things off here. Mr. Tippin, I could use your help, if you don’t mind lending me your services.”
“Of course Miss Snackles. Anything I can do to help.”
And everybody returned to their specified areas.
A/N: Told you this was going to be long! :lol: Hope you enjoyed it! Anything you want to see happen, PM it to me, or post it with your review! (but as posted earlier, Kendal and Sloane will wear their shirts at all times)
A/N: Before you begin it is my duty to tell you that this chapter is twice as long as the chapters previously, so I have two (revised: three) things to say:
One. Make sure you have lots of spare time, and be sure to laugh quietly, so you don’t alarm the people around you.
Two. I expect double the reviews for double the story, so R/R!!!!
Three (revised). I have divided the chapter into two parts. I have also named the chapters now. The other two things still apply.
Chapter 14, Part I
I Don’t Want Your Pants!
During the interval, Irina and Sydney got together, and were talking in hushed voices. Francie was attempting to revive Sark, and Alice was talking to Mike. Eric had pulled two extra yo-yos out of his pockets, and was teaching Jack and Dixon some of the tricks he knew. They could barely flick the yo-yo properly, so he had to teach them that first. It wasn’t as if he minded though. He enjoyed passing on the methods of this art to his friends. Well, he considered them friends. Eric didn’t get out of the office much. Sloane was still lying on the floor, next to the Purple table, unconscious. Kendal was sitting in his chair at the Red Devil table, head hung over onto his chest, arms by his side, sleeping. Marshall was talking to Doc, who was an amazing listener (A/N: Maybe because she is a qualified listener
). Allison was making good use of her spy training and was ‘extracting’ pina coladas from the other tables, and finishing them off. (A/N: Hi, my name is Allison, and I’m an alcoholic.) So far she had found four, and she hadn’t even gotten past the fourth table.Hailey and Will then entered the room, and sat down at their table. The two were speaking in hushed voices for a while, when Hailey stood up. She looked around her table for an empty glass, but a quick glance around the room revealed that they were all on Black Sabbath’s table. Not to be deterred, Hailey simply yelled,
“ATTENTION PLEASE!!!!” When she had everyone’s (somewhat divided) attention, she continued.
“Thank you. I apologise for all of the recent intermissions, and promise there will be no more interruptions until you have all finished your songs. I realise that you also have lives, although not extensive lives, as you are still stuck in the cell. Therefore, we shall do the remaining three songs without breaks in between. In this way, you will also be able to get some rest before the next challenge in two days. And that brings us to the Green Bay Packers. The stage is all yours.”
Hailey bowed politely, and sat back down, taking Tippin’s hand into her own.
Alice walked on stage, took her mike out of it’s stand, and waited for Dixon to untangle himself from the yo-yo. After doing so, he ran up, apologised to her with a peck on the cheek, and took his mike out of the stand. Neither of them were even half as inebriated as the others, and as such, were fully functional. The pianist started, and the two of them were really in a groove, singing The Beatles ‘Twist and Shout’. Marcus sang it with soul, while Alice brought a more feminine quality to it. Neither one of them were particularly gifted singers, but they managed to pull off a very passionate rendition of the song. Marcus sang the main vocals, and Alice sang ‘back-up’, if it can be called that (because really, Alice sang just as much and just as loudly as Marcus). After the song, Alice and Dixon took a bow, and returned to their seats.
“Bravo you two. An amazing job, well worked, very passionate, 15 points. Well done. Next up we have the Blue Jays singing ‘Love Shack’ by the B-52’s (A/N: I may be 16, but I know and love this song. Not all of us are ignorant!) Get up there and SING!”
Sydney walked up on stage, and took her mike. She then realised that she was alone on the stage, and returned her mike to the stand before angrily stomping off the stage, and going over to her table. And there was Sark, passed out, head on table, snoring. Normal Sydney would have had patience. Drunk Sydney picked Sark’s head up off the table by his hair, slapped her hand across his face until he stirred, and pulled him up to the stage by his ear. A small whisper of ‘I taught her that’ was heard from the crowd. Sydney proceeded to place Sark in front of the mike, and leaned him on the stand. When he toppled over (prevented from hitting the floor only by Sydney’s quick reflexes), she called her mum up onto the stage to hold him upright, while she went over to the bar. She then returned the stage, and stuck a massive chunk of ice into Sark’s pants. That woke him up pretty damn quick. He jumped up and shoved his hands into his pants, trying to get the ice out, while screaming bloody murder in a high pitched girly shriek. By the time he found where the ice was, it had melted, and he was left with a wet patch, which made him look as though he had peed in his pants.
“You are worse than my mother! She only stuck the ice down my shirt! You are going to regret doing that.”
“I don’t want in your pants at the moment Sark, I want to sing this song, get some points and win this competition. I want to go home. I want to live in my house. And I repeat, I don’t want in your pants!”
“Fine. But you say that like it’s such a bad thing. There is nothing wrong with my pants.”
“There’s nothing wrong with your pants, that I agree with. It’s what’s in your pants that’ lacking.”
“Burn b****, burn!” shouted Francie from the crowd.
“That was really low Sydney. I didn’t think you would ever stoop that low.” Replied Sark. He was pouting, and looking dejected. “Can we just sing the song please.”
“Yes, we can. Mr. Pianist, start the music.”
Neither Sydney nor Sark seemed very in step with the song, and to begin with, they were only speaking the words. You can only imagine how exciting it would be to hear to adults say, in the blandest of voices, “If you see a faded sign at the side of the road—“ Anybody listening would have thought they were tortured into reading the prompts. That’s absolute rubbish of course, because Hailey was only going to torture them if they failed to go along with the plan. But then something happened to change that. As they were speaking “…at the side of the road that says fifteen miles to the—“ The entire crowd jumped into the song and yelled “LOVE SHACK!”
Sydney responded to this positive energy by actually singing.
“I’m headin’ down the Atlanta Highway, lookin’ for the love getaway, heading for the love getaway.”
Sark responded to Sydney’s singing by singing as well.
“I got me a car, it’s as big as a whale, and I’m headin’ on down to the—“
“LOVE SHACK!” The audience were really getting into the groove, and Sydney was feeding off of the energy, with Sark, in turn, feeding off of her energy.
“I bought me a Chrysler, it seats about twenty, so hurry up and bring your jukebox money.”
Then the two of them sang the chorus together, and it was a powerful and awesome chorus, with the audience singing along. They carried on in this manor, becoming more and more passionate, until they were dancing around each other, and looking into each other’s eyes. It wasn’t a romantic look, and it wasn’t a look of hatred. They were looking at each other as though this was a competition, and they were against each other, like lions inching towards the kill. Their performance became even more extreme, and with a still drunk Sydney dancing around the stage with Sark, and a stoned-looking Sark dancing around the stage with Sydney. They weren’t dancing together, and every time Sydney pulled off a stunt, Sark tried something even more extravagant. The performance become more heated, and more passionate, and by the time the climax came, the two were about ready to strip each other, and probably would have done it if Mike and Allison weren’t there to yank them off stage, and drag them back to their tables.
Hailey stood.
“That was definitely an interesting take on ‘Love Shack’, and you put lots of passion into your performance. However, I don’t think that this is really that sort of song, but I suppose it’s up to you how you interpret it. I’m going to give your team 20 points. I’m also giving Vaughn and Allison five points each for stopping the two of them, and thus saving us the ‘pleasure’ of seeing two piss-drunk people rip each other’s clothes off. It was most appreciated.”
Chapter 14, Part II
The Spy Family Band
“Next up we have Jack and Marshall singing ‘I Love Rock N Roll’ by Joan Jett and the Blackhearts. Take it away.”
Marshall and Jack walked up onto the stage. Jack took hold of his mike. Marshall picked up his mike, and tapped on it while saying ‘Testing, testing.’ Jack, who is not a patient man, barked at him, forcing the poor guy to jump and drop his mike. Marshall bent over to pick it up, and Jack signalled to the pianist. However, the pianist didn’t start playing the music, but simply stood up, walked over to the curtain, and opened it. Upon opening the curtain, he revealed all of the equipment seen when P!NK had performed, with one major difference. There were already people behind the instruments. Irina had taken up drums, and Syd had grabbed hold of the bass guitar. Jack picked up the lead guitar, and started jamming away with it. Marshall, who was obviously not expecting this, looked at Jack with his jaw dropped and his eyes bulging out of his head.
Irina started thumping away at the drum kit, and Syd had a real groove going with the bass. They had played the opening riff three times before Jack screamed “MARSHALL!” over the sound. Marshall jumped, of course, and started the song. His voice left a lot to be desired. It wasn’t awfully screechy, but he was so nervous he introduced an unreal amount of vibrato. However, when he eased up a little, he started really getting into the groove. Jack was stalking away on the stage with his guitar, and he took over the chorus from Marshall. He was every bit a rock star, and was really enjoying the song. While the song was going on, he and Marshall were equals. Actually, Marshall had the main lead of the song, Jack simply sung the chorus. The instruments were in perfect harmony with each other, and everyone was having a good time. When the song came to a halt (after both a guitar and a drum solo) Marshall screamed into his microphone,
“Put your hands together for the Spy Family Band everybody!”
Laura stepped out from behind the drum kit, Jack put his arms around hers and Sydney’s shoulders, and the Spy Family Band took a bow while the applause died down. They then all went back to their seats. Marshall was the last one on the stage, and he decided to seize the moment as it presented itself. He went and placed his mike in the stand, and picked up the guitar, which was leaning against the amp.
“GOODEVENING KASHMIR!!!” Marshall shouted into the mike, while putting his heavy metal devil horns into the air.
“MARSHALL!!!!” Jack screamed at him.
This brought him to his senses, and he yelped, while placing the guitar on the amp, and running back over to the Coldplay table, and sitting down next to Jack.
“Neat-o!” called Hailey as she stood up. “That was amazing! I loved it! 30 points for Coldplay, and 10 points each for the other members of the Spy Family! Okay then, last but not least we have Purple Nurple with ‘Man! I feel like a woman!’ originally by Shania Twain. Take it away ladies.”
The tune started, and Irina had the opening lines.
“I’m going out tonight, I’m feeling all right, Gonna let it all hang out.”
She managed to get the country nicely, for somebody who hadn’t grown up with country music like Doc had. Irina had a powerful voice, as one would expect of her. Doc took the next lines.
“Wanna make some noise, really raise my voice, Yeah I wanna scream and shout.”
Doc’s voice had more of a country twang to it, but she grew up with the likes of Willie Nelson, and had had a crush on Garth Brooks since he released his first album. Both women sung the song as if it was their personal anthem, and the passion they threw into it was amazing. They also had a bit of a dance routine going, and it was something else to watch. They each had their own lines, and then doubled up on the chorus, doubling the volume. It went something like this (shared parts in black, Irina in bold purple, Doc italicised purple):
“I’m going out tonight, I’m feeling all right
Gonna let it all hang out
Wanna make some noise, really raise my voice
Yeah I wanna scream and shout
No inhibitions, make no conditions
Get a little outta line
I ain’t gonna act politically correct
I only wanna have a good time
The best thing about being a woman
is the perogative to have a little fun and…
Oh, oh, oh, go totally crazy,
forget I’m a lady,
Men’s shirts, short skirts
Oh, oh, oh, really go wild
yeah doin it in style
Oh, oh, oh, get in the action,
feel the attraction
colour my hair,
do what I dare
Oh, oh, oh, I wanna be free
yeah to feel the way I feel
Man! I feel like a woman!
The girls need a break,
tonight we’re gonna take
the chance to get out on the town
We don’t need romance,
we only wanna dance
We’re gonna let our hair hand down
The best thing about being a woman
is the perogative to have a little fun and…
Oh, oh, oh, go totally crazy,
forget I’m a lady,
Men’s shirts, short skirts
Oh, oh, oh, really go wild
yeah doin it in style
Oh, oh, oh, get in the action,
feel the attraction
colour my hair,
do what I dare
Oh, oh, oh, I wanna be free
yeah to feel the way I feel
Man! I feel like a woman!
The best thing about being a woman
is the perogative to have a little fun and…
Oh, oh, oh, go totally crazy,
forget I’m a lady,
Men’s shirts, short skirts
Oh, oh, oh, really go wild
yeah doin it in style
Oh, oh, oh, get in the action,
feel the attraction
colour my hair,
do what I dare
Oh, oh, oh, I wanna be free
yeah to feel the way I feel
Man! I feel like a woman!
I get totally crazy
Can you feel it
Come on, come, come on baby
I feel like a woman!”
The song finished with a pose, and both ladies looked Hailey straight in the eyes.
“Now that,” started Hailey, “was a performance to rival Mrs. Twain’s own version. It was spectacular, inspiring and well thought out. As a result of this, and your combined efforts throughout the evenings competition, I award your team 30 points! Congratulations!
“And the final standings points-wise, if I have added them up correctly:
Red Devils with 5, P!NK with 45, Green Bay Packers with 50, Then tied for second place it’s, The Blue Jays, Coldplay and Black Sabbath with 55 points each, and in first place we have Purple Nurple with an amazing 95 points! Well done.
“Now, for something new. Mr Tippin. On Stage! We have a song to sing!!!”
“Miss Snackles, babe, I think you’re slight;y knackered.”
“Nonesense Lover Boy, I’m absolutely smashing! Smashing. Hehehe…You’re right Tippy. I’ve outdone myself this time. Now let us sing!”
“I think you should step off the stage, and sleep it off.”
“Oh come now Tippy baby. It’s ain’t over ‘til the fat lady sings, and I am fat, and I am going to sing!”
“Hailey, you are hardly fat. Now step off the stage before you hurt yourself.”
“Don’t patronise me Mr. Tippin. I am in charge here! I can stand on my own two feet!”
“I’m sure you can Miss Snackles. However I don’t think this is such a good id—“
Hailey tried to grab hold of Will’s tie, but he obviously wasn’t wearing tie, or a shirt for that matter, so she was simply swiping her hand across his chest.
“Oh forget it.” She said, and pulled him onto the stage by his pants.
“Now choose a song sexy, and sing it!” Hailey nearly fell off the stage as she thrust her hand into the air. This was (nearly) prevented because Irina had seen it coming, and leapt out of her chair (also drunk, it must be added) and caught Hailey, before throwing her back on stage, and into Mr. Tippin’s arms. He planted a soft kiss on her forehead, before asking her, one last time, to go back to her room and sleep it off.
“Garbage Mr. Tippin. Utter garbage! I am fine! And we shall sing! Now choose a song you sexy beast!”
Knowing that he wouldn’t win he agreed.
“All right then Hailey. But then you are going to bed, and you are going to sleep this off.”
“Yes yes, whatever you want Will. Now pick a damn song and let’s GET ROCKED!!!!!”
Will walked over to the pianist, and gave him the name of the song. The pianist nodded, and pulled out the music sheet. Will walked back over to Hailey, who was having difficulty pulling her mike out of it’s stand in her state. Will took it out for her, and then took up his own. The flick of a finger in the Pianists direction was the cue for the song to start, and it did just that.
“WAIT! I wanna choose the song!” Yelled Hailey over the intro. “I wanna sing that song about that bullfrog and the wine!”
“That’s the song I choose, babe. I thought you’d like it.”
“Oh. Okay then…play the song!!! Whopeee!!!!!”
“Jeremiah was a bullfrog!
Was a good friend of mine!
Something something something
Something something
And a whole lotta loads about Wine!
“Now you Will! Whoppee!!!! Chorus!”
“JOY TO THE WORLD!!!!!
All the boys and girls now!
Joy to the fishes in the deep blue sea
Joy to you and me!
“Sing it again!! Woohoo!!!”
Will was staring at Hailey, who was so unbelievably drunk she didn’t even notice. He could see she was getting out of hand, and she could barely see anything, she was so drunk. She was staggering around the stage, chanting drunkenly. Will, who was completely unimpressed by this (and worried about her state of mind) walked over to Hailey, picked her up, and threw her over his shoulder. She started kicking and screaming, but he ignored her. Over the racket she was making, he awarded Irina ten points for stopping Hailey from falling off the stage (technically it was 5 for the catch, and 5 for doing it piss drunk). He then told the guards to escort his ‘CIA mates’ back to their ‘rooms’, and proceeded to carry Hailey back to their room, where he would put her to bed.
She managed to wiggle free and, barely standing upright, yelled at the buff man standing ten metres away from her.
“GUA-ARD!!! Take these lovely prisoners back to their cell, and please ensure they each have a bed, blanket, pillow and lots of aspirin. They’ll want it come morning. I have to finish some things off here. Mr. Tippin, I could use your help, if you don’t mind lending me your services.”
“Of course Miss Snackles. Anything I can do to help.”
And everybody returned to their specified areas.
A/N: Told you this was going to be long! :lol: Hope you enjoyed it! Anything you want to see happen, PM it to me, or post it with your review! (but as posted earlier, Kendal and Sloane will wear their shirts at all times)
