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All You Always Wanted to Ask an Alias Character...

Discussion in 'General' started by Trish, Jun 1, 2003.

  1. Trish

    Trish Creative Genius at Work

    Dec 20, 2002
    Author: Patrícia Pontes.
    Title: All You Always Wanted to Ask an Alias Character But Never Had an Author Disturbed Enough to Write a Fic About It.
    Genre: Humor. Right.
    Rating: PG
    Disclaimer: Alias belongs to J.J Abrams, the cute Bad Robot boy and the rest of the big guys. I am just a girl who apparently is willing to do anything to avoid Math homework.
    Author’s Note: Hum… this is a weird fic. It’s supposedly humorous but I didn’t think it was funny at all and it has this weird format… Give it a try anyway. Comedy is so not my thing…

    Read on…


    Author: Everyone, listen up, please. Um, readers, if you would stop squealing for just a moment… yes, thank you. Now let go of Mr. Vaughn’s suit. Yes, good girls. Mr. Vaughn, if you’d please come to your seat.

    *girls pout* *Vaughn takes his place next to Sydney*

    Author *host-like*: Welcome to the first and probably last “All you wanted to ask to an Alias character but never had an author disturbed enough to write a fic about it”. Welcome, agents, and thank you for being here tonight.

    Sydney: It’s our pleasure.

    Sark: You look particularly lovely tonight, Mrs. Author.

    Author: Oh, thank you Mr. Sark. I still don’t like you.

    Sark: You’ll come around.

    Author: Um, sure. *slyly* Hey Marshall.

    Marshall: I- Hum… Hello.

    *Author flashes giant grin*

    Author: Is that a new suit, Marshy?

    Marshall: Um.. yes my mother thought I should – that is.. my wardrobe wasn’t… We went shopping yesterday and um…

    Author *nodding*: Fascinating.

    *Someone screams at author through comm. link.*

    Author *snapping out*: Um, let’s start with the questions. Um, yes? You there at the back, with the green av. What’s your name?

    Fan #1: Hi. I’m nameless Fan #1. *smiles* Hi Vaughn.

    Vaughn: Hey.

    Author *annoyed*: Your question please?

    Fan #1: Oh, right… Well, I was wondering if Mr. Bristow could tell me why he usually says no to everything, even before the person fini-

    Jack: No.

    Fan #1: I see. Thank you, Mr. Bristow.

    Author: Are you all bored yet?

    *Fans stare at Vaughn*

    Fans *distractedly*: No…

    Author: Girls, remember to use the buckets placed under your seats. It’s not polite to drool on other people’s fics. Now, on with the next question. Hum, this lovely lady here. What’s your name?

    Fan #2: Nameless fan #2, Author.

    Author: What’s your question?

    Fan #2: Well, obviously Irina and Jack have a lot of pending issues they still didn’t deal with. So my question is, are you afraid of facing your own demons? Are you afraid that the ghosts from your previous crimes and actions might come back to haunt you if you open the box on which you keep your feelings, including your feelings for each other, locked away?

    Author: Sorry, no deep analyzing is allowed here. Next question?

    Irina: No no, let’s answer her question. Are you afraid of dealing with your feelings for me, Jack?

    Jack *challenging*: It’s very presumptuous of you to think I have any type of feeling left for you.

    Irina: And it’s very naïve of you to think that you don’t.

    Jack: Think what you want to keep your illusion of complete power over people’s life. The truth is, you do not control me, Irina.

    Irina: I never intended on controlling you. But tell me, do you control yourself? Do you command you feelings like you command your subordinates? Can you choose who you love and who you don’t?

    Author *embarrassed*: Guys… I’m trying to write a comedy here… you’re really not helping.

    Irina *nodding once*: Forgive us.

    Jack: Do not speak in my behalf.

    Irina: I was simply-

    Author: Guys!

    Jack *mutters*: Forgive me.

    Author: Alright. Next question.

    Fan #3: Hey there. I’m Nameless Fan #3. This question if for Ms. Bristow. Um, how does it feel… to date your handler, after so long of pinning over him?

    Sydney: Are you asking this on the literal sense? Because I’m afraid this fic is PG rated.

    Fan #3: Hum… okay… Then, do you two fight a lot?

    Vaughn: Constantly.

    Sydney: Yes. It’s terrible.

    Fan #3: Really?

    Vaughn: Yes. People think we have this perfect harmonic life together but it’s not true. I mean, we fight for the TV control…

    Sydney: For the last piece of pizza…

    Vaughn: We fight over the name Lisa.

    Sydney *in explanation*: He likes it and I don’t.

    Vaughn: It’s a beautiful name.

    Sydney: Let’s not do this on public, honey.

    Vaughn *discreetly sending her a kiss*: Alright. Oh, we forgot our pillow fights.

    Sydney: Oh, yes. They are very violent.

    Weiss *shocked*: Those are your fights? Those are your fights?? They probably end with a kiss every time anyway. You cheated.

    Vaughn: I didn’t cheat. You asked me if Sydney and I ever fight, and I said yes. You didn’t specific what kind of fight. *after a second* And they usually end with more than a kiss. *smirks*

    Sydney *grins*: We’ve been missing a lot of movies lately.

    *Vaughn laughs and kisses her hand*

    Sark: *coughdisgustingcough*

    Weiss: Isn’t it? Annoyingly sweet.

    Irina: I think it’s lovely. *Looks pointedly at Jack*

    Author: Alright, we’re going to take a break. When we get back people at home will be able to call us and ask their questions. Don’t go away, we’ll be right back with “All you always wanted to ask an Alias characters but never had an author disturbed enough to write a fic about it.”

    *commercial break*


    :unsure: I know I know, it sucks. But, if you still want to read another chapter despite of the suckness of this one, add a question to your review, and I’ll put it in the fic. ;)
  2. Evil Temptress

    Evil Temptress Rocket Ranger

    Dec 21, 2002
    GREAT ONE!! I wonder why Irina and Jack are 'fighting' like that.. hmmmm... maybe they're hiding something.. hehehee pretending things are normal so no one would notice.. hmmm.... *gives Trish a Sherlock look*
    I'll think of a question.. right now my questions are all about *cofMr.Vaughncof*... ^_^ -_-
  3. Aliasscape

    Aliasscape Captain

    Dec 21, 2002
    :LOL: :LOL: :LOL: :LOL: :LOL: :LOL: :LOL: :LOL: :LOL: :LOL: :LOL: :LOL: :LOL: :LOL: :LOL: :LOL: :LOL: :LOL: :LOL: :LOL: :LOL: :LOL: :LOL: :LOL: :LOL: :LOL: :LOL: :LOL: :LOL: :LOL: :LOL: :LOL: :LOL: :LOL: :LOL: :LOL:

    *takes a deep breath*

    :LOL: :LOL: :LOL: :LOL: :LOL: :LOL: :LOL: :LOL: :LOL: :LOL: :LOL: :LOL: :LOL: :LOL: :LOL: :LOL: :LOL: :LOL: :LOL: :LOL: :LOL: :LOL: :LOL: :LOL: :LOL:

    Write :LOL: :LOL: more :LOL: :LOL: soon! :LOL: :LOL: :LOL: :LOL:
  4. musically83

    musically83 Rocket Ranger

    Jan 27, 2003
    this doesn't suck...I think it's hilarious!!!! Please...post more silliness soon! and if you do, think I could get a PM? I'd really appreciate it :)
  5. redheadgrl78

    redheadgrl78 Scout

    Dec 20, 2002
    This is hysterical.

    More Sark please!
  6. aliasjgfanaticmv

    aliasjgfanaticmv Rocket Ranger

    Jan 9, 2003
    shouldn't matter to you where I live
    LMAO! :LOL: it is really funny, but I don't have a question.. :( does this mean no more? :unsure:
  7. Aliasgirl47

    Aliasgirl47 Rocket Ranger

    Feb 26, 2003
    My House
    LMAO! I can see myself as one of the girls! Please continue!
  8. TephieD

    TephieD Rocket Ranger

    Mar 18, 2003
    MORE SARK!!! It's great but you need more Sark!
  9. nancee

    nancee Rocket Ranger

    Feb 26, 2003
    from da hood
    major lmao!!!!!!!!!! i stared culh at teh first line!!!!! mr vaughn! lmao.....suit...lol.....sark.....=D..lol....i like trish i like....and buckets....thats so wikky......sorry.....and it was his fault...anyways.....funny..post more!...
  10. Alias Obsessed 47

    Alias Obsessed 47 Rocket Ranger

    Jun 2, 2003
    OMG! U have to have to have to have to write MORE MORE MORE MORE! I toally and completely LOVE it! U are a very talented writer. Keep writing! Can u PM wen the next chapter is up? That would be soooooooooooooooo great! :jump: I cant wait to read the rest! Chapter 3 is done and Chapter 4 is up! YAY! :cheers: Check it out! I think that these 2 chapters have been my best. What do u think? Read it and find out! Im starting chapter 5! Im on a roll! Sorry, I had to change my username. I couldn’t post on my other one.

    <3, Kailyn
  11. IrinaDerevko

    IrinaDerevko Rocket Ranger

    Mar 23, 2003
    LMAO!! Please keep writing!!
  12. Archangel_dj

    Archangel_dj Rocket Ranger

    Mar 9, 2003
    New Zealand
    LMAO!!!! :LOL:
    absolutely hysterical!!!!
  13. She'sgood

    She'sgood Rocket Ranger

    Mar 14, 2003
    This is soooo funny. Now I say this about everything but write more on Jack and Irina. pleaz :D
  14. Crawstinium

    Crawstinium Rocket Ranger

    Jan 15, 2003
    no, this is really really good!!!! i love it, it cracked me up :D please write more, wow, you are fantastically talented at all kinds of writing!
  15. *SPYnish*

    *SPYnish* Rocket Ranger

    Mar 16, 2003
    LMAO !!!! It´s Really Good, Hilarious :LOL: :LOL: :LOL: :LOL: :LOL:

    More Soon Pleaseeeee

  16. nancee

    nancee Rocket Ranger

    Feb 26, 2003
    from da hood
    trish!!!! u ever gonna post more!?!?
  17. bluheart13

    bluheart13 Rocket Ranger

    Feb 26, 2003
    TRISH THIS IS AMAZINGLY FUNNY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!ARE YOU GOING TO POST MORE!!???!!!???!!!!???
  18. Alias: Eme

    Alias: Eme Scout

    May 21, 2003
    Please Post More
  19. sydandvaughn4evr

    sydandvaughn4evr Rocket Ranger

    Mar 17, 2003
    This is awesome! It doesnt suck, Its very very very funny :excited: cant wait 4 more!!!!!!
  20. Ames47

    Ames47 Amy Strikes Back

    Mar 31, 2003
    the outskirts of HELL
    omg i love this!! THIS DOES NOT SUCK AND IS NOT STUPID!!! this is a really good idea and love the format of this!! hope you post another chap soon!!

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