secretlives
Cadet
A/N: I'm a sucker for love songs, so it was pretty inevitable that I'm doing a series of song fics of the songs that 1) relate most to VSR and 2) I really like. Songfics are new to my writing scope, so if there's anything that you do not like, please, tell me. If I get a lot of negative feedback on this idea, then I won't post parts 2 to 5 
Timeline: (For Part One: ) Post-Telling, definte before Crossings
Relationships: Sydney/Vaughn fragment; mentioned-Marshall/Carrie
ARIA
By Jalyn/secretlives
Part One of Five of the Aria series
Separate Lives – Stephen Bishop
Why are you wearing that ring?
You’ve been missing for almost two years.
You feel your heart sink as the thoughts from that conversation kept running through your head. You are confused, lost, and worst of all, the man you love isn’t yours anymore.
Your near-perfect world comes crashing down.
You once told yourself that Daniel Hecht was the man you would marry and live with for the rest of your life. You would quit the service once the time comes, and you would create a family with the man. You might even be given an honourable discharge from the CIA for your services all these years.
Of course, this plan would have worked very well if SD-6 was indeed part of the CIA. The harsh reality is that it isn’t, and they had him killed because you told him. That’s when you find out about the truth, and you went on a rampage. A rampage to avenge your fiancé’s death that led you to join the real CIA on a quest to take down The Alliance, the organization which had sanctioned the hit for Danny.
That’s when you found him. Your would-be soul mate, lover, boyfriend, and god-forbid for now, husband. The first time you had set your eyes on him was when you had a swollen jaw, bruised limbs and a throbbing pain in your head. He cracked a joke that you had smiled politely at, but at that point of time, all you had wanted to know was whether you had been accepted into the CIA.
You needed someone to talk to the night your father stood you up for a dinner date. Mochtar had died, and all you needed – wanted – was someone that you could talk to. So you had called the person you thought would understand – him. You poured your heart out to him, and with the carousel and the peals of laughter as your backdrop, he had assured you then that you could call him whenever you felt like you needed someone to vent out on.
Tears flow down your cheeks as you sit alone at your desk. You’re desperate enough not to show anybody that you’ve been crying, so you dry them quickly and walk swiftly to the bathroom. You look into the mirror and question yourself – Who am I, really?
You have been Kate Jones. Victoria King. Marie Robinson. Rita Stevens. A million names have been assigned to you, but the most important of all – have you ever been Sydney Bristow? You ask yourself again and let out an audible, defeated sigh, because you already know the answer to that:
The only times you have been Sydney Bristow were when you were in love with him.
You can feel your head pounding, and as you walk over to a private corner in the office, you steal a glance at his desk. He’s not there, and you don’t know if you want him to be or not.
The day you woke up in Hong Kong was the day a big part of you died. The things he said stung you. You would have waited, you told him. You shouted, and then you wonder if the deal is still on – the one where you could call him anytime, anywhere. You suppose it is not, because he is a married man now.
You figure that the person you should thank most is Eric, because he was, simply put, the glue that held you together through this disheartening period of your life. But no matter how much you want to forget, you cannot.
All you can think about is the happy endings the both of you could have lived if you had not chosen to fight Doren that fateful night. The night that had robbed you of your very existence and even now as you think about it, you feel something crumble from within. You know very well that he had loved you then, and you wonder, for a moment, if he still does now.
Because the awful truth is, you are still very much in love with him. Everything has changed since then, but your love for him has become a constant.
You should know, in addition to being the new NSC liaison, I'm also Michael Vaughn's wife.
You remember being stunned. Yes, you understand that he is married. And yes, you also realise that unless by some chance of a miracle, unless his wife turns out disloyal, you can never have him again. But what you had not expected was the torrent of emotions so brutally real even the sweet ones turned bitter. You want to move on so badly. But the haunts of bittersweet memories have broken you - Even the lost memories of the two years.
You feel the hot tears threatening to fall off once again. This time round, you are certain that your co-workers have seen them. You see Marshall hovering in the background and you welcome the simple gesture of solace he provides as he smiles at you. From the side door, you see Carrie, who has a huge bump by now, walking towards him and the two of them wave goodbye to you.
This is only a testimony of how everything has changed. Even the most minute of minutes have, but one thing has not and you feel the blinding ache of it in your bones everyday.
Your love for him has become an undercurrent of pain and you let out a sob from the knowledge that you will never heal from this blow. You know that the greatest thing in life is to love and be loved in return, but you also know that he cannot love you anymore.
You cry, with no one to dry your tears.
You cry, as the ache in your heart proves too painful to bear.
You cry out loud, not bothered if anybody is looking.
You cry, because you know you can never love anybody else that way.
You cry.
1/5
---
A/N: So, how was it? Worth continuing? If anybody wants a copy of this song, feel free to PM me and I'd upload it to my radio.blog and broadcast it over my website. In case you were thinking there was no plot in this, then I've got to clarify that I've got most of my thoughts planned out. The final part should reveal everything that it should, but this series will take place mostly through Season 3, and brushes across Season 4, which I will take it on to a higher level by continuing my own version of the relationship.
Which should be my typical fluffy angst, heh.
Timeline: (For Part One: ) Post-Telling, definte before Crossings
Relationships: Sydney/Vaughn fragment; mentioned-Marshall/Carrie
ARIA
By Jalyn/secretlives
Part One of Five of the Aria series
Separate Lives – Stephen Bishop
Why are you wearing that ring?
You’ve been missing for almost two years.
--
You feel your heart sink as the thoughts from that conversation kept running through your head. You are confused, lost, and worst of all, the man you love isn’t yours anymore.
Your near-perfect world comes crashing down.
--
When you're alone in your room
Do I feel lonely too?
Do I feel lonely too?
--
You once told yourself that Daniel Hecht was the man you would marry and live with for the rest of your life. You would quit the service once the time comes, and you would create a family with the man. You might even be given an honourable discharge from the CIA for your services all these years.
Of course, this plan would have worked very well if SD-6 was indeed part of the CIA. The harsh reality is that it isn’t, and they had him killed because you told him. That’s when you find out about the truth, and you went on a rampage. A rampage to avenge your fiancé’s death that led you to join the real CIA on a quest to take down The Alliance, the organization which had sanctioned the hit for Danny.
That’s when you found him. Your would-be soul mate, lover, boyfriend, and god-forbid for now, husband. The first time you had set your eyes on him was when you had a swollen jaw, bruised limbs and a throbbing pain in your head. He cracked a joke that you had smiled politely at, but at that point of time, all you had wanted to know was whether you had been accepted into the CIA.
You needed someone to talk to the night your father stood you up for a dinner date. Mochtar had died, and all you needed – wanted – was someone that you could talk to. So you had called the person you thought would understand – him. You poured your heart out to him, and with the carousel and the peals of laughter as your backdrop, he had assured you then that you could call him whenever you felt like you needed someone to vent out on.
--
You have no right to ask me how I feel
--
Tears flow down your cheeks as you sit alone at your desk. You’re desperate enough not to show anybody that you’ve been crying, so you dry them quickly and walk swiftly to the bathroom. You look into the mirror and question yourself – Who am I, really?
You have been Kate Jones. Victoria King. Marie Robinson. Rita Stevens. A million names have been assigned to you, but the most important of all – have you ever been Sydney Bristow? You ask yourself again and let out an audible, defeated sigh, because you already know the answer to that:
The only times you have been Sydney Bristow were when you were in love with him.
--
You have no right to speak to me so kind
--
You can feel your head pounding, and as you walk over to a private corner in the office, you steal a glance at his desk. He’s not there, and you don’t know if you want him to be or not.
The day you woke up in Hong Kong was the day a big part of you died. The things he said stung you. You would have waited, you told him. You shouted, and then you wonder if the deal is still on – the one where you could call him anytime, anywhere. You suppose it is not, because he is a married man now.
--
I held on to let you go
--
You figure that the person you should thank most is Eric, because he was, simply put, the glue that held you together through this disheartening period of your life. But no matter how much you want to forget, you cannot.
All you can think about is the happy endings the both of you could have lived if you had not chosen to fight Doren that fateful night. The night that had robbed you of your very existence and even now as you think about it, you feel something crumble from within. You know very well that he had loved you then, and you wonder, for a moment, if he still does now.
Because the awful truth is, you are still very much in love with him. Everything has changed since then, but your love for him has become a constant.
--
I can't go on holding onto ties
Now that we're living separate lives
Now that we're living separate lives
--
You should know, in addition to being the new NSC liaison, I'm also Michael Vaughn's wife.
You remember being stunned. Yes, you understand that he is married. And yes, you also realise that unless by some chance of a miracle, unless his wife turns out disloyal, you can never have him again. But what you had not expected was the torrent of emotions so brutally real even the sweet ones turned bitter. You want to move on so badly. But the haunts of bittersweet memories have broken you - Even the lost memories of the two years.
--
There was no way to compromise
So now we're living separate lives
So now we're living separate lives
--
You feel the hot tears threatening to fall off once again. This time round, you are certain that your co-workers have seen them. You see Marshall hovering in the background and you welcome the simple gesture of solace he provides as he smiles at you. From the side door, you see Carrie, who has a huge bump by now, walking towards him and the two of them wave goodbye to you.
This is only a testimony of how everything has changed. Even the most minute of minutes have, but one thing has not and you feel the blinding ache of it in your bones everyday.
Your love for him has become an undercurrent of pain and you let out a sob from the knowledge that you will never heal from this blow. You know that the greatest thing in life is to love and be loved in return, but you also know that he cannot love you anymore.
You cry, with no one to dry your tears.
You cry, as the ache in your heart proves too painful to bear.
You cry out loud, not bothered if anybody is looking.
You cry, because you know you can never love anybody else that way.
You cry.
--
Someday I might
Find myself looking in your eyes
But for now we'll go on living
Separate lives
Find myself looking in your eyes
But for now we'll go on living
Separate lives
--
1/5
---
A/N: So, how was it? Worth continuing? If anybody wants a copy of this song, feel free to PM me and I'd upload it to my radio.blog and broadcast it over my website. In case you were thinking there was no plot in this, then I've got to clarify that I've got most of my thoughts planned out. The final part should reveal everything that it should, but this series will take place mostly through Season 3, and brushes across Season 4, which I will take it on to a higher level by continuing my own version of the relationship.
Which should be my typical fluffy angst, heh.
Love the angst... I shouldn't be saying it, since I love Syd and Vaughn together... But I absolutely can't get enough of this fic. DUDE! It's one of the best ever!!! Just every single word... Gosh!!! It's amazing how you write!!! *stares in awe* It was just unbelievable, that chapter!! And the first one too... I'm still not over that one yet 
