Okay so I owe you all the biggest apology EVER. I really thought that I would have more time with my new job to write but as it turns out I haven't really had any free time. Still I've managed to finish a new chapter for all of you. It isn't as long as I wanted it to be, nor does it include everything I wanted it to soooo JuJu might just get her wish and this fic might last more than 50 chapters! Hopefully I'll be able to post one a week for you! Anyway thanks for sticking in there and staying with the fic!!
A little bit of Chapter 45 to refresh your memory
Sark fought desperately to get as far from the lab as he could. He had thrown a few more jewelry box sized objects around the halls of the facility as he was making his escape. As he was reaching the top level another round of guards caught up with him but before they could even fire at him an explosion was heard and the floor vibrated with such great force they were all knocked over. Sark jumped up and continued running because he knew that he only had a few seconds before the rest of the bombs he had left behind were set off and if he had any chancing of getting away he needed to be out of the building before they went.
Sydney held her breathe as another explosion was heard and their footage was completely cut off.
“Vaughn! Weiss! Come in! Where are you?” She hollered into the coms set.
“We just reached the lab but Syd… it’s been destroyed.” Weiss stammered.
“What?” Tears welled up in her eye ducts. She couldn’t lose Sark now.
“It doesn’t look like anyone could have survived.” Vaughn said in what sounded like a relieved tone.
Chapter 46
Sydney collapsed on the floor of the task force center. Her head was spinning in a million different directions. What the hell had happened at the lab with Julian? Why had he gone off camera and why was the place blown to bits?
Her father and Dixon scrambled to get her up and sitting in a chair. Marshall brought her a glass of water and when her eyes met with his her mind connected it all together.
“Marshall! Did Julian ask you for extra op-tech?” She demanded of him.
“Well yeah but I didn’t see the harm in it. I mean he said he only wanted it to protect you and well I thought…”
“Marshall,” she cut him off with gritted teeth, “What exactly did you give him?”
Marshall stammered more than usual under the pensive gaze of everyone in the office surrounding him.
“I, I gave him ah um well first I made him a compact flame thrower to well you know burn the eggs with so that no one could ever get their hands on them again. You know like the Covenant because he…Sark said, he said that they would come back after them, after the eggs when they realized they were missing.”
Sydney nodded and tried not to kill Marshall for stammering so much.
“What else did you give him?”
“Nothing. Okay well not nothing but just some mini bombs that I had cooked up. He wanted to make sure that he would be able to get out of the building without any trouble and and well he said he wanted to destroy the lab. All of it in case, in case the eggs weren’t all in the same place, in case they weren’t all destroyed by the flame thrower. I’m sorry, I thought that he had cleared it with with everyone and I mean he made, he made sense and everything. I didn’t want the Covenant to get your eggs back either. I’m so sorry Sydney.”
Sydney hung her head in hands trying to process what had just happened. She wasn’t really mad at Marshall for supplying Julian with the op-tech, after all it had been a nice gesture but now it could have cost Julian his life for her once again.
“Marshall, can you activate the tracking device we planted in Sark now?” Jack asked Marshall somewhat gravely. He nodded and went to push some keys into the computer as Vaughn’s voice could be heard over the coms once again.
“Troopleader are we clear to return to the plane?”
“Negative, Boyscout. Stay there until we’ve located Sark dead or alive.” Hearing the word dead in reference to Sark made Sydney’s stomach turn and twist in the most unpleasant contortions. She couldn’t believe that he might have died trying to prove to her that he loved her and could be trusted. She should have never agreed to let him do this mission; she had known it would be too risky.
If I had the chance love
I would not hesitate
To tell you all the things I never said before
Don't tell me it's too late
“The tracking device should send us a signal within the next five minutes. I’ll have it upload to Agent Weiss’s palm pilot when we’re receiving.” Marshall told them in one long breath.
Cause I've relied on my illusions
To keep me warm at night
I've denied in my capacity to love
I am willing to give up this fight
Sydney felt like it was the longest five minutes of her life. She knew that even if she was confused about her feelings for both Sark and Vaughn that she was sure of one thing – She loved Julian Sark and did not want him to die before she got the chance to tell him that again. Finally after five painstaking minutes a small beeping sound was heard and Marshall began clicking away on the type board.
Nothing seems to help me since you went away
I’m so tired of this town
“Teddybear you should be receiving the signal now.” Marshall paused. “Do you read the signal?”
When every back is turned
Telling secrets that should never be revealed
Theres nothing to be gained from this but disaster
“Yes Merlin I’m receiving the signal and we’re moving in on it now.” Weiss’s voice came through the head phones bringing hope to Sydney. There was a chance that Sark might be alive out there and they would find him.
If I had the chance love
Oh no, I would not hesitate
To tell you all the things I never said before
Don't tell me it's too late
“The signal appears to be coming from under some ruble. We’re going to need a minute to dig through it.” Sydney held her breath as she heard what sounded like the team shifting through the remains of the building. They just had to find Julian and he had to be alive.
“I think I found something. Vaughn help me lift this board.” Weiss’s voice boomed through the ear piece, flooding Sydney with renewed hope and strength.
Cause I've relied on my illusions
To keep me warm at night
I've denied in my capacity to love
I am willing to give up this fight
Sydney could feel her breath catching in her throat, her heart beat so loud she could barely hear what Weiss and Vaughn were saying. They had found Sark but he was in bad shape, barely breathing. They were afraid to move him because it appeared as though he had several broken bones. Her head was spinning with mixed feelings of relief, confusion, and fear. Sure they had found Julian but he might not live to make it home to her.
oh I am willing to give up this fight
In the midst of it all she heard them moving him, checking the area for other survivors, and finally they were in the air en route to home. Sark was barely stable but still alive. Dixon was trying to get her attention now but it was all a blur. She couldn’t focus on anything; thoughts of Julian swirled amongst the confusion and before she could steady herself on any one thought or memory everything went black.
oh I am willing to give up this fight
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Her ears started working long before her eyes were able to open themselves and focus on anything.
She could hear the soft murmur of machinery near by her. In the not too distant she thought she make out bits and pieces of a conversation between her father, Weiss, and Dixon.
Come to me now
lay your hands over me
even if it’s a lie
say it will alright
and I shall believe
She felt a tingle run up at down her arm as a warm finger traced circles in her hand. An involuntary smile spread across her face as she dreamily saw Julian appear before her eyes. When her eyes were finally able to focus on the figure that was now cupping face and placing a stray piece of hair behind her ear, she realized it was not Julian, but Vaughn who was sitting next her bed starring down at her with love and worry written on his face.
Her first instinct was to recoil away from him and jump out of bed, demanding to see Julian and to hear how he was. Yet, all she could was lay there while Vaughn smiled and laid a soft kiss on her forehead.
“You’re awake.” His smile broadened as he saw that her eyes were fully focused on him now.
“What happened? How did I get here?” She asked the questions that were burning in her mind, omitting the one about Julian. Not only did she know that Vaughn was not the person to ask about him, she was afraid of the answer they might give her.
“I wasn’t here but they said you just collapsed. The doctors say you’ve been putting your body under a lot of stress and not taking care of yourself. Your body just needed some time to rest and recover from all of the stress and strain it’s been under these past few months.” Sydney nodded as she took it all in. It was true that she hadn’t been taking very good care of herself since Julian left her and before his return. The only time she had ever actually taken care of herself was when he was staying with her.
“But you made it back.” She smiled weakly, he nodded.
“Sark is just in the other room, recovering. He hasn’t woken up yet either.” Vaughn paused, obviously disgusted with having to tell her about Sark but he knew it was what she wanted to know about. “Syd, you were right about trusting him. He did destroy your eggs, all of them and from the looks of it he made a major dent in the Covenant’s operation. The entire lab was destroyed and no survivors were found, including McKennas Cole. Seeing as how we can’t imagine he would have escaped the facility we assume he is dead allow with other top Covenant officials that may have been there.” A few silent tears welled up in her eyes as she realized what Julian had done for her and that it may just have cost him his life. She couldn’t fight the urge to get out of her bed anymore; she needed to go see him.
“Sydney, I know you want to go see him but the doctors think it’s better that you rest for awhile. You can go see him later.” Vaughn suggested as Sydney sat up in her bed, but he was silenced by the palm of hand.
“Vaughn, he saved my life, he kept the Covenant from doing anything with my eggs, and he put a major dent in their operations. The very least I can do is go see him and sit with him until he wakes up.” Vaughn nodded as he helped her out of the hospital bed and tightened her gown in the back. He escorted her to Julian’s room before disappearing, letting her know that he’d only be gone for a few minutes and if she needed him he’d be there.
She took a minute at the door to take in all the tubes and monitors that were hooked into Julian. Her breathe caught in her chest again as she realized that he had just barely survived and that she could still lose him.
broken in two
and I know you’re onto me
that I only come home when I’m so all alone
She made her way to his bed and cautiously sat on the edge as she lifted his hand to her lips. She watched as his chest rose and fell to the beat of the machine next to her.
but I do believe
that not everything is going to be the way you think it ought to be
seems like everytime I try to make it right it all comes down on me
please say honestly you won’t give up on me
She sat there for hours just watching him. She refused the food her father and Vaughn tried to give her, as well as the change of clothes. She couldn’t bare to leave Julian for fear he would wake up alone.
and I shall believe
I shall believe
Open the door
Show me your face tonight
After what seemed like an eternity, but was really only about nine hours, Sydney felt pressure squeezing her hand. She looked up to see Julian’s beautiful, crystal blue eyes staring into hers. She was flooded with relief as she bent down to kiss his lips. A wide smile spread across her face as she pulled away.
“You really scared me this time Julian.” She wiped a tear from her eye. “I thought for sure I’d lost you again without even getting to tell you how much I love you.” She was no longer able to keep her tears in, as they flowed down her cheeks and choked up her words.
I know its true, no one heals me like you
You hold the key
Never again
Will I turn away from you
I’m so happy tonight but your love is alright
Julian wrapped his arms around her and held her close until her sobs subsided. He brushed a loose strand of hair behind her ear as she sat up, wiping her nose. His thumb rested against her cheek, her head rested in his palm.
“It’s alright Sydney.” She nodded through her remaining sniffles.
“Thanks to you. You destroyed the whole lab with all of the eggs. I can’t believe you did that. I mean what were you thinking!? You could have been killed! You were almost killed!” Julian chuckled softly at her stern tone.
“I did what had to to save you and I would do it again even if it meant dying.”
“Oh Julian, I love you. I’m so sorry about everything I said. I never should have doubted you. I was just stressed and confused and Lauren was really messing with my head.” She kissed him softly but pulled away when she realized her wasn’t kissing her back.
“Julian?” She stammered.
And I do believe
That not everything is going to be the way you think it ought to be
Seems like every time I try to make it right it all comes down on me
Please say honestly you won’t give up on me
“Sydney, I love you, I really do…that’s what makes this so hard. I didn’t destroy that lab just to win you back or to make you think losing me would be the worst thing in the world. I did it because I love you and it was the right thing to do and I was the only one that could do it. I’m not going to delude myself into believing that it has suddenly made you realize that your feelings for Agent Vaughn were nothing more than remnants of a past life. What I said before about us taking some time so that you could figure out your true feelings I still mean now. My near death doesn’t change that, despite how much I would love for you to have chosen me.”
I shall believe
I shall believe
“No Julian, don’t say that. Don’t make me suffer through losing you and living without you all over again.” She begged him with her eyes to just believe that she was in love with him.
I shall believe
And I shall believe
Please say honestly you wont give up on me
“I’m not making you lose me all over again. I’m not going anywhere.” He gestured to the equipment that kept him hooked to the bed. “I’m just asking you not to rush back to me temporarily because you’re feeling guilty or grateful or scared. I’m asking that you still take the time to think about who you really want to be with.” He could see the hurt in her eyes and it was killing him but he knew it was the right thing to do. Tears spilled over her eyelids and slid over her lips. “Hey,” he cupped her face in his hands, massasing away her tears with his thumb. “I do love you Sydney Ann Bristow. I’m not saying no to you forever, I’m just saying not right now, not yet. Things are only going to get more complicated before they get easier and I need both us to be able to focus.”
Sydney nodded. “I should go get the doctors and let them know you’re awake.” She sniffled as she walked to the door, turning to get one last look at the love of her life.
I shall believe
I shall believe
I shall believe
I shall believe
I shall believe…..
I can't wait!!!!!
DAMN CATHY YOU ARE GOOD... I mean my god i know why i never made it past the frist 3 chapters was because it was sarkney but iam SO FREAKIN GLAD I read the WHOLE thing!!! now iam just sad i didnt read it sooner 
you till you update!!! 
