Butterfly Kisses

sexcivaughn14

welcome home
Title: Butterfly Kisses
Author: Carolyn (Sexcivaughn14)
Disclaimer: JJ Abrams and Bad Robot own these characters, not me
Lyrics: Bob Carlisle, Butterfly Kisses
WP: By Me, textures by Jems
Note: This is one shot.

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There's two things I know for sure:
She was sent here from heaven and she's
daddy's little girl.
As I drop to my knees by her bed at night
She talks to Jesus and I close my eyes and
I thank god for all the joy in my life
Oh, but most of all
For butterfly kisses after bedtime prayer;
sticking little white flowers all up in her
hair; "Walk beside the pony, Daddy, it's my first ride."
"I know the cake looks funny, Daddy, but I sure tried."
In all that I've done wrong I know I must
have done something right to deserve a hug
every morning and butterfly kisses at night.


He smiled inwardly, watching the infant sleep, looking over, slightly above the crib he saw the framed birth certificate, Hilary Elizabeth Vaughn, it was typed as simply as day with the loopy signature underneath the name reading Sydney Bristow.

Sydney Bristow, god how he had missed her smile, the way she looked when she slept, the look of peace on her face that he always saw when she had closed her eyes and she was sleeping for the night. Of all the time they had spend together, of all the time that they had spent loving each other. One thing he was especially guilty of was the fact that he always watched her sleep, she would often fall asleep before him, and in that time he would sit and watch as she would lull into a peaceful sleep, her heart rising and falling at a constant rhythm, he missed it, he missed watching a piece of stray hair fall onto her eye, he missed smiling at the urge to brush the hair away and kiss her gently, waking her so they could laugh and smile and talk until all hours of the night. He rarely followed through on that thought though, he never had the heart to wake her. But now he found himself wondering if she still slept the same way, if she still slept that peacefully, with a smile pursed gently over her lips, with a stray hair in her eyes.

He didn’t know if she would still be the same person that had once loved him.

He didn’t know if she would still want him to love her.

Drifting back to the reality in front of him, he smiled once more. Realizing that this was the first time he had seen his daughter, the peaceful life that was sleeping in front of him, her breath murmuring softly- that was his little girl.

Sighing as he traced his pinky finger over the wooden crib, he wondered, he wondered if Sydney would still feel anything for him. He wondered if she would hate him for having left, for having disappeared, for having made her think that he was dead, forever lost to her and their unborn child.

Would she realize that he had done this for her?

That he had done this for them.

Sweet 16 today
She's looking like her mama a little more everyday
One part woman, the other part girl.
To perfume and make-up from ribbons and curls
Trying her wings out in a great big world.


At that moment however, none of that mattered, all that really mattered was the life in front of him, the murmuring heart beat with the occasional sniffle, the little girl in front of him who all he wanted to do was watch grow up, he wanted to see her ballet recitals, her first day of school, he wanted to walk her down the isle and more than anything he wanted to see her hold her own children one day. However much to his own dismay, this dream was something that he knew would never happen, things were too complicated for Michael Vaughn to actually live a life with the people he loved, it would be even more complicated for him to live a safe life with the people he loved, and every moment that he thought about it, it broke his heart to know that he would have to leave the people he loved most in the world, hopefully unnoticed, hopefully without pain, but sorrow would loom as he walked out of those doors.

“Don’t move” Sydney’s voice came from behind him, he could hear her cock the gun as she slowly walked towards him.

But I remember
Butterfly kisses after bedtime prayer; sticking
little white flowers all up in her hair.
"You know how much I love you, Daddy, But if you
don't mind I'm only gonna kiss you on the cheek this time."
With all that I've done wrong I must have done
something right to deserve her love every morning
and butterfly kisses at night.


Suddenly, he was ever so thankful that he had chosen to wear a hood, he didn’t want her to know it was him and he hoped the behind the bruises and behind the hood, behind all of the pain, she wouldn’t recognize the man who loved her more than anything in the world.

“Turn around slowly” Sydney told him, he could practically feel the cold barrel of the gun against his neck as he began to turn, looking down slowly as he did.

As he turned, a thousand possibilities ran through his head, what if she didn’t recognize him? Would he be able to live with himself knowing that he had let her continue to believe that he was dead? What if she did recognize him, what if she hated him for everything he had put her through? And the most painful thought that came into his head was what if she still loved him. What if Sydney Bristow had all the same feelings for him that she had a year ago, two years ago, five years ago. Would he be able to walk away knowing that this woman was still in love with him, that she still needed him.

“Look at me” Sydney glared at him, slowly, he raised his head, praying that she would be okay when she saw him. As soon as their eyes met, Sydney let the gun drop to her side, as she stared into those emerald eyes that she hadn’t seen in so long, all she could do is stare, questioning over and over whether or not this was all a dream, “Vaughn” she choked as the words came out of her mouth.

All the precious time
Like the wind, the years go by.
Precious butterfly.
Spread your wings and fly


Without saying a word, Vaughn removed the hood that covered his head, revealing his sandy blonde hair to her, it was as uncontrollable as it had been the first time they met, “I’m sorry” was all that he could muster to say, “I am so, so sorry”

“You…your dead” Sydney whispered, her body visibly shaking as she stared at the man who she loved more than breathing itself, the man who had given her the best gift she could ever ask for, the father of her daughter.

“I know” Vaughn nodded, not bothering to explain all of the circumstances, there wasn’t time for that, “Sydney I just…I had to see her”

“Where have you been?” Sydney asked, not paying attention to the words coming out of his mouth as tears streamed down her cheeks.

“It doesn’t matter” Vaughn told her, kissing her cheek, “Just remember that I love you”

She'll change her name today.
She'll make a promise and I'll give her away.
Standing in the bride-room just staring at her.
She asked me what I'm thinking and I said "I'm not
sure-I just feel like I'm losing my baby girl."
She leaned over…gave me butterfly kisses with her mama there,
Sticking little white flowers all up in her hair
"Walk my down the aisle, Daddy-it's just about time."
"Does my wedding gown look pretty, Daddy? Daddy, don't cry!"


“Remember?” Sydney looked at him with confusion in her eyes, “I…”

“I’m sorry” Vaughn whispered, kissing her finger, “But this…you have to forget you ever saw me tonight”

“No” Sydney shook her head, “Vaughn you can’t, I need you, I want you to stay, I…she needs a dad, and I need a husband and I just…Vaughn don’t go”

“I’m sorry Sydney” Vaughn looked away from her, not wanting to see all of the pain that was in her eyes, “Please, just remember”

“I love you” Sydney whispered as she wiped her tear stained cheeks.

“When she’s old enough” Vaughn looked at his son, “Make sure she knows that I love her more than anything and that I did all of this as a way to keep her safe”

“She will” Sydney nodded, blinking heavily and opening her eyes, feeling as though her entire world has just crumbled around her, and she knew that it had all ended as quickly as it had begun as she heard the door click. “Daddy loves you” Sydney whispered to the tiny life in the crib, “He loves you so much”

Oh, with all that I've done wrong I must have
done something right.
To deserve your love every morning and butterfly
kisses-I couldn't ask God for more, man this is what love is.
I know I gotta let her go, but I'll always remember
every hug in the morning and butterfly kisses.
 
sissy I'm in tears :brokenheart: *stomps foot* now you write some more and bring him back. Do you hear me? BRING VAUGHN BACK! I don't care if its a one parter you make it a two parter!!!

but even if you don't i still :love: this and you!




:spam:
 
Awww, poor Syd and Vaughn :love:. You should make this an actual fic. It's really good, and I like where it would have gone. I'm also curious to know why he had to leave, and how Syd would react to seeing him :thinking: ? Thanks for the PM!

~Andrea :angelic:
 
Oh man, I have been weepy all day but, this was just too much!! I really want him to come back NOW and help Syd raise her! He deserves to raise his little girl. Please add more and bring him back, for good this time.
Thanks for the PM
 
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