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Can It Be True?

Discussion in 'Creative Writing & Arts' started by SpyGurl001, Jan 29, 2003.

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  1. SpyGurl001

    SpyGurl001 Rocket Ranger

    Joined:
    Jan 12, 2003
    Location:
    Florida
    Ok guys I'm giving a stab @ this writing thing, so if this thing totally stinks I'm srry!!! This is my first fic so please feel free to critize!!! and please post!!! Thanks!!!!

    Also I don't own anything its all JJ!! Just borrowiing it all!!


    ~Syd POV~

    As we pulled away from the kiss, I looked @ him and knew this was the man I will always love, but could never have.

    "Michael, I don't think we should have done that."
    "But.....what.....I thought."
    "I'll talk to you later"

    I walked through the rubble and got into my SUV and went straight tot the CIA to get an update on my father and where I should go since I can't stay @ my apartment.

    ~Vaughn POV~

    Wow, that was amazing. I knew it, we are meant for each other, The Alliance is gone and we can be together.

    "Michael, I don't think we should have done that"
    "But........what.....I thought"
    "I'll talk to you later"

    So, this is what I get for telling the woman I love that all I think about is her and that kiss and she says I'll talk to you later. That would be something Alice would say. Man, I need a drink, Better go find Weiss.

    ---At CIA Headquarters--

    ~Kendall POV~

    "Well, Ms. Bristow, we were successful of taking down all SD Cells and the Alliance, because of the intel you got from server 47, I congratulate you. So I would like you to take two weeks off to go to a safehouse in Maine that is were we can locate you to give you information and were we can update you about your father, which right now he is stable. Also might I add Agent Weiss and Vaughn will be joining you too, to ensure their safety. One more thing, Ms. Bristow, after you come back we all need to have a meeting about if you be still an agent and if so who will be your handler. Your flight leaves in three hours, have your things in order and met agent Weiss and Vaughn @ the warehouse.



    I have more but I just wanted to see what advice yall could give me on what I could improve and to see how yall like it so if yall post I'll post the 2 chap.!
     
  2. Scarlet Crystal

    Scarlet Crystal Bibbity Rabbity

    Joined:
    Dec 30, 2002
    Location:
    Narnia
    short and sweet (y)
     
  3. The Kate Vartan

    The Kate Vartan Rocket Ranger

    Joined:
    Dec 16, 2002
    Location:
    California
  4. Alias Elle

    Alias Elle Rocket Ranger

    Joined:
    Dec 1, 2002
    Location:
    Los Angeles, CA
    For your first fic, this isn't bad. In fact, I see definite potential!

    ~Me :angel2:
     
  5. Alias Elle

    Alias Elle Rocket Ranger

    Joined:
    Dec 1, 2002
    Location:
    Los Angeles, CA
    One more thing, when you're writing dialogue- think about the language the characters use on the show and also their maturity levels- you need to stylize (I know, I didn't spell it right) Kendall's speech, for instance.

    ~Me :angel2:
     
  6. SpyGurl001

    SpyGurl001 Rocket Ranger

    Joined:
    Jan 12, 2003
    Location:
    Florida
    I'm srry guys I can't complete this one I lost 3 chapters I only saved the last 2 chapters I posted which were 4 & 5

    so yeah I can't going I'm sorry!
     
  7. Alias Elle

    Alias Elle Rocket Ranger

    Joined:
    Dec 1, 2002
    Location:
    Los Angeles, CA
    That's alright. At least you didn't lose as much as I did.

    ~Me :angel2:
     
  8. berry_kyoote_spy88

    berry_kyoote_spy88 Rocket Ranger

    Joined:
    Jun 19, 2003
    Location:
    Hawaii
    good start keep posting will be waiting
     

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