Hello . Yes I know I`ve not been around and I`m sorry But any road up I have wrote some nice little stories about a new breed of hero and his name is Captain Bob I hope you take time to have a read , I know my grammer is felgercarb as I didn`t have a great education and yes I did just want to be a footballer and have affairs with my team mates wife`s ... Oh sorry . Yeh so if you have a read and yeah ! even comment good or bad I can take it Thank you . And if there is someone out there like them I have more where this blinder comes from .. Yeh my head . Ok then here we go it`s ......... Captain Bob . A new breed of Super Hero is in our midst he is a mild mannered man who lives in the sleepy town that sits half way up in the country that is known in the days of knights and Dragons and funny looking Mushrooms that is Albion , but it`s now called England and the Town is called Stalybridge (Ask Richard Gere where it lies , he says its in the pit of hell but thats Hollywood for ya ) The Hero ? you ask . His name is Captain Bob , he is a forty something chap and lives with his mum . His powers ? Well that will come apparent in coming episodes So lets begin our adventures with Bob Bob decide to take the 4x4 to work this morning and as it was raining he didn`t want to get his rain coat wet . He drove down the main street and on the large Tellyscreen there was the news that a 25 mile split of ice in the Antarctic Its you with your bloody 4x4 `s polluting our mother earth !" shouted a man dressed in a bright jumper and camoflauge trousers and what looked like a peruvian hat with a badge of a panda stuck on it . "Oh really ... Sorry " said Bob Bob was upset about being blamed about the Earths plight and took it to heart (oh folks heart is an anagram of earth ..makes you think dosn`t it ? )that he booked a flight to the Artic to see if he could help put , you know like leave fridge doors open and not use any deorderant . When he got off the plane there was a man dressed in a bright jumper and camoflauge trousers and what looked like a peruvian hat with a badge of a panda stuck on it . "It`s all your fault flying around on your big planes warming the planet and leaving the polar bears homeless !" he shouted . "Oh sorry " said Bob I will help the polar bears and there homless plight said Bob to himself so he went out looking for a bear . He got to a big cave and he remembered that bears lived in caves from his school book from long ago intitled Bears Live in caves and eat fish so he went inside and to his amazement there was a big flying saucer melted in the ice so he got out his blow torch that he had in his back pocket and started to melt the ice around the flying saucer . 3 days later the ship was out of the ice and Bob knocked on the ship . "Hello ! " he shouted And then there was a loud noise and a door opened on the top of the ship and a little gray man came out . "ugdbnc xjzufer kifeaskn " he said . "No problem said Bob " As Bob once had a book called Aliens live in caves and eat fish with a bit on how to speak Alien . "njsffgf ogndjugbh ojjm jagdveuctxx " said the alien "Special powers ! why thanks , now I can save the Earth " said Bob . And with that the alien shot a hole in the ice and went back in the ship and came out with a fishing rod . Bob said his goodbyes and he went back home and told his mum about his tale and went to bed and thought of how he could use his new super special powers to help mankind . "Turn that landing light off Bob! your not helping the planet "shouted Bobs mum . "Sorry " said Bob and without getting out of bed he thought of the light switching off and in a monment the light went off . "Wow !" he said "Never mind I`ve done it " shouted Bobs mum .