Christmas Stuff

I just bought a wooden x'mas tree that has little holes in it that you stick lights through and when you light it up it looks so cool. Very happy, as I've done my part to save the ozone layer(as well as convincing my parents not to by a SUV)

Wait... if the tree was wooden, then a tree somewhere must have died. Argg!
 
:blink: are yous erious???8 days i thought today was 11 days!!! man that means my christmas break should have begun :woot: but why hasn't it????? :(
 
it's 11...it's gotta be...my english teacher's bday is on x-mas and he's told us every single day of our lives...*shudder*...i will have the santa email posted rather than PMed...it's really long
 
Someone clearly had too much time on their hands...

>SANTA CLAUS
>AN ENGINEER'S PERSPECTIVE

>

>I) There are approximately two billion children (persons under 18) in the

>world, however since Santa does not visit children of Muslim, Hindu, Jewish

>or Buddhist religions, this reduces the workload for Christmas night to 15%

>of the total, or 378 million (according to the population reference bureau).

>At an average (census) rate of 3.5 children per household, that comes to

>108 million homes, presuming that there is at least one good child in each.

>

>II) Santa has 31 hours of Christmas to work with, thanks to the different

>time zones and the rotation of the earth, assuming he travels east to west

>(which seems logical). This works out to 967.7 visits per second. This is

>to say, that for every Christian household with a good child, Santa has

>around

>1/1000 of a second to park the sleigh, hop out, jump down the chimney, fill

>the stockings, distribute the remaining presents under the tree, eat

>whatever snacks have been left for him, get back up the chimney, jump into

>the

>sleigh and get on to the next house. Assuming that each of these 108 million

>stops

>is evenly distributed around the earth (which of course, we know to be

>false, but will accept for the purpose of our calculations). We are talking

>about

>1.25 Km per household, a total of 120.8 million Km, not counting bathroom

>stops or breaks. This means Santa's sleigh is moving at 1040 Km per

>second........3,000 times the speed of sound. For purposes of comparison,

>the fastest man-made vehicle, the Ulysses space probe, moves at a poky 43.8

>Km

>per second, and a conventional reindeer can run (at best) 25 Km per hour.

>

>III) The pay load of the sleigh adds another interesting element.

>Assuming that each child gets nothing more than a medium Lego set (two

>pounds), the

>sleigh is carrying over 500 thousand tons, not counting Santa himself. On

>land, a conventional reindeer can pull no more than 300 pounds, even

>granting that the "flying" reindeer could pull ten times the normal amount,

>the job

>can't be done with eight or even nine of them......Santa would need 360,000

>of them. This increases the payload, not counting the weight of the sleigh,

>another 54,000 tons, or roughly seven times the weight of the Queen

>Elizabeth

>(the ship, not the monarch).

>

>IV) 600,000 tons traveling at 1040 Km per second creates enormous air

>resistance....this would heat up the lead reindeer in the same fashion as a

>space shuttle re-entering the earth's atmosphere. The lead pair of reindeer

>would absorb 14.3 quintillion joules of energy per second each. In short,

>they would burst into flames almost instantaneously, exposing the reindeer

>behind them and creating deafening sonic booms in their wake. The entire

>reindeer team would be vaporized within 4.26 thousandths of a second, or

>right about the time Santa reached the fifth house on his trip. Not that it

>matters, however, since Santa, as a result of accelerating from a dead stop

>to 1040 k p s in .001 seconds, would be subjected to centrifugal forces of

>17,500 G's. A 250 pound Santa (which seems ludicrously slim) would be

>pinned to the back of the sleigh by 4,315,015 pounds of force, instantly

>crushing

>his bones and organs and reducing him to a quivering blob of pink Jell-O.

>

>V) Therefore, if Santa did exist, he's dead now.




THere you go..,.it's a bit long...sorry
 
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