A/N
dis is another 1 of my stories over @ sd-1 hope y'all enjoy, n remember i like quotes n constructive critisim
Confessions Of A Broken Heart
We all have secrets; hers is unimaginable
Written by: SydnVaughn4eva 2 ~elle
Disclaimer: I don’t own alias I just decided 2 meddle with va characters lives. But I do claim right 2 my new characters.
Summary: Everything thinks that Syd has the life, but they don’t know the secret she has, they don’t know that she has a heartbreaking confession. They don’t know what goes behind closed doors.
Prologue:
I am said to be perfect. Perfect, popular and beautiful. Well at least on the outside I am. But inside I am broken in a million pieces. My heart is in a million pieces. Sydney Bristow is in a million pieces. My life consists of going to school faking a smile everyday of my life, and coming home to a war zone of casualties with the enemy in close range amidst us. It only took one man to tear this family apart, one man to leave unmistakeable marks on my stepmother’s face; it only took one man to destroy Sydney Bristow.
Am I happy? It’s hard to say. I’m happy with school and my friends, but I’m not happy at home. It’s almost like love/hate. I love my life, I hate my father. Hate is such a strong word, but the reality is this is what it’s all become. It is hard to say when everything was normal and when the war started it’s as if the line is blurred. It is as if it has been going on for so long that I can’t even remember when it all started. We were all happy, well almost. I even admit we still had problems. Nadia never liked Serenah and resented Samantha but apart from that we were happy until it all came crashing down. We’re a family in crises that only grows older. No matter how much chaos happens, the blood never spills to the streets. We’re a family in crises but nobody knows, not even the people I’m closest to.
I love my friends, but somehow I feel as if I couldn’t trust them with my secret. Francie would be speechless. Will would be flabbergasted and start ranting, and Lisa being practical will tell me to tell someone. But I can’t. I hate my father, but he is still my father. Despite what he is doing to me, to Serenah, I could never do that to him. I hate my father but then again I love him at the same time despite what he is doing. Even if I love him, it is never enough to make peace, to stop this bitter battle to stop the tears and the heartbreak. Here it all is around me still ravaging. Here I am in a million pieces, with my heart in a million pieces. With my life in a million pieces. It only took one man to tear this family apart, one man to leave unmistakeable marks on my stepmother’s face; it only took one man to destroy Sydney Bristow.
TBC
Chapter one:
It’s Just an Ordinary Day
Sydney’s POV
I walk out the front like I do everyday of a school week and feel that wave of happiness rush through me, filling every single inch of me, inside and out. Except for one small place. My heart. My heart is twisted mangled and broken. I feel no pain anymore, pain has long since been forgotten. I am just numb. My heart is numb. But being away from the inside, away from the war zone, the happiness drowns out the numbness. It’s almost like I forget, but then I don’t. It still remains as a heavy weight, weighing me down. Though I am Happier, happy as I’ll every probably be. I hear the slamming of a door behind me. I turn slightly to see my sister Nadia striding toward me.
“Let’s go.” She says sharply.
“Someone got out on the wrong side of the bed.” I say smiling slightly. She just gives me one meaningful look and doesn’t reply. I walk towards my Lexus Convertible and hop in. Nadia slides in beside me and I start the engine, reverse out of the driveway and head off to school.
“So do you think it’s gonna stop...everything is just gonna go back to normal again?” Nadia says, breaking the silence. “Because I can’t take this anymore.” She starts to cry. “We’ve…lived…through…this…for a year now...I just can’t…take it anymore.” She says between her sobs. Tears start to fall down my face.
“I don’t know.” Is all I can manage and all I can answer, because I have no answer. I can’t take it either.
“Not even she deserves it.” Nadia says wiping away her tears.
“So you actually admit you like her.” I say laughing through my tears.
“No!” She says shortly. It’s funny how quickly her emotions can change. “I’m just saying that even people like her don’t even deserve this.” She says sighing.
“Yeah sure.” I say teasingly. I love teasing my sister because she bites very easily.
“Shut up, Sydney.” She says grinning.
“I will when you admit you like her.” I say still teasingly.
“Can we just drop it?” She yells at me. Like I said easy to bite.
“Okay, okay, I was just joking.” I say smiling at her.
“I’m sorry, it’s just everything is getting to me at the moment.” She says looking down at her hands.
“Yeah me too.” I say agreeing with her. I turn into the school entrance and the movement of my arm makes me flinch.
“What’s wrong?” She asks in concern, studying me carefully. I don’t reply. “Dammit Syd, did he hit you?” I still don’t reply. A huge lump I in my throat and my stomach fluids start to churn. I feel like I’m going to be sick. I park the car. I get out and walk away not even looking back. I’m trying to keep Nadia from knowing that he’s harming me too. But somehow I think she has known all along.
Nadia’s POV
No one’s hurting as much as she is right now. I know Syd was very close to our mother and father. Even more so when mom died. Syd was devastated, she was so lost without mom, and dad sorta saved her from falling off the face of the earth. And now he’s disappointed her. I sigh. I look near the school building and I see my friends. “Hi guys.” I say brightly. The don’t reply. They just walk away. I walk after them. “What’s wrong?” I ask, confused.
“Oh, I think you know what’s wrong, Nadia.” Amanda turns around abruptly and yells at me. The rest of the group follow suit.. They all look like they have all being crying.
“No actually I don’t.”
“You sure, well then let me give you a run down. You cheated on Aaron at his party with your ex-boyfriend Shane West!” She yells at me punctuating every word.
“I don’t remember such a thing, and I wouldn’t do that to Aaron any way. I love him.” I exclaim to her.
“Oh really. Because it’s funny, because we all saw it with our very own eyes. And guess what Nadia:? Aaron knew it happened.” She says.
“Knew what do you mean knew.” I say confused.
“It’s all your fault.” She says now crying.
“It’s all my fault what. And why are you saying new as if it is past tense, as if he is like dead or something.” I say to her sharply.
“Because he is dead. He committed suicide of you. Nadia Bristow. The pathetic little s**t of the school.” I stare at the wall. “He’s dead.” I stutter.
“Yeah Nadia he’s dead and it’s all your fault.” I just cry. “Go ahead and cry, no one feels the slightest bit sorry for you.” She says sharply and walks away. I fall to the ground crying even harder. I’ve lost the one guy I truly cared about. I loved him, didn’t he know that. Didn’t he know I must have been drunk or something. What happened? And somehow I know. My hands start beating the ground until I am completely overcome with exhaustion. I then feel warm hands picking me up and taking me inside.
Sydney’s POV
“Hi guys.” I approach Lisa, Francie and Will. :How’s your weekend.
“Didn’t you hear?” Lisa says to me, she looks strangely pale.
“Hear what.” I say, confused.
“Aaron Walker committed suicide.” Lisa says.
“What, you mean as in my sisters boyfriend Aaron?” I say bewilded and worried how my sis was gonna take this.
“Yeah, you better find your sister cause the rumors that are going around are saying that she cheated on Aaron with her ex, and this made him commit suicide everyone’s saying it is her fault.” Francie says looking worried. Knowing that b**ch of a friend she has Amanda she’s probably turned everyone against her.
“I better go find her.” I say.
“Don’t worry.” A voice says behind me. That voice I love. A voice I could never miss. Michael Vaughn. So yeah I have a huge crush on him but I have no chance when Lauren Reed the head cheerleader has her nails sunk deep into him.
“Hi” I say. Quickly noticing he has my sister crying into his shoulder. “Thanks, where did you find her?” I say gratefully.
“Outside n the ground crying I saw Amanda tear deep into her. He says as he makes eye contact with me. I could literally get lost in those beautiful green orbs.
“B**ch.” Lisa say.
“I agree,” Michael says.
“Do you know if it is all true?” I ask him.
“Yeah they are, but I know for a fact that Nadia didn’t drink much at the party, so she wasn’t drunk, so it is possible Shane drugged her, which wouldn’t surprise me because he is a sleaze.” He says honestly.
“Bastard I say.” Reaching to grab Nadia out of his arms. She won’t budge. “Doesn’t look she is going anywhere.” I say.
“We can take her to an empty classroom see if she wants to talk.” He suggests to me.
“Good idea, you should probably stay because she obviously finds comfort in you,” I say softly rubbing Nadia’s back. We walk to empty classroom and Michael sits down with Nadia. “Nadia.” I say gently. She lifts hr head to look at me.
“It’s all my fault, I could have stopped him, he came to say goodbye to me, I said goodbye, I should’ve known by the look in is eye what he was about to do. I should’ve known, he was going to kill himself. I’m supposed to love him and I can’t even tell when he is about to kill himself. I am a hopeless human being and I don’t deserve to live. He hates me, he killed himself because he hates me. But then again that’s pretty hard not to, since I’m a slut and all. I’m a dirty skank.” I just stare at Michael with worry on my face. If I leave her alone, what’s going to happen? Will she do it too?
TBC
Chapter Two:
A Million words wouldn’t Bring you Back
Recap:
“Good idea, you should probably stay because she obviously finds comfort in you,” I say softly rubbing Nadia’s back. We walk to empty classroom and Michael sits down with Nadia. “Nadia.” I say gently. She lifts hr head to look at me.
“It’s all my fault, I could have stopped him, he came to say goodbye to me, I said goodbye, I should’ve known by the look in is eye what he was about to do. I should’ve known, he was going to kill himself. I’m supposed to love him and I can’t even tell when he is about to kill himself. I am a hopeless human being and I don’t deserve to live. He hates me, he killed himself because he hates me. But then again that’s pretty hard not to, since I’m a slut and all. I’m a dirty skank.” I just stare at Michael with worry on my face. If I leave her alone, what’s going to happen? Will she do it too?
Nadia’s POV
It’s al a blur one minute I’m in a classroom crying and the next I am in a church witnessing with great heartache my boyfriend’s funeral. It should have never been this way, he should have grown old experiencing his whole life, but instead he cut it short and it is partly my fault. I turn my head side ways and I see his brown coffin with the bouquet of roses on top. Tears cloud my vision and I cry for the thousandth time in two days. I look back at my sister who is about to start the Eulogy, reminding me that after her I have to speak. I haven’t spoken one word since I was in the classroom with Syd and Michael. I feel that if I speak I will kill Aaron even more then he already is, I feel like if I speak I’ll, drive a dagger deeper and deeper into him. I am shame brought upon Aaron his body lying limp in his coffin represents that clearly and I think majority of the people in this room believe the same thing. It was my entire fault.
“Aaron was a fun-loving person and a dear friend too everyone in this room. Aaron had the ability to make anyone smile when they are down. One of his biggest gifts was being able to make me smile. It’s not easy to make me smile when I’m down but he always did and that is a gift within itself. He was able to make my sister happy and cherish her in more ways then I can imagine. I thank you so dearly for looking after my sister when I couldn’t for being there for her when I couldn’t. Aaron was a bit of a goof most of the time but we all loved him for it. He could do the most stupidest things and usually anyone would scold him for it but it was his laughter which drew us to all turn away from that, his laughter was contagious. One of my most funniest memories of Aaron would be when I was in homeroom and we were halfway through saying our prayer and Aaron walks in late saying: hi guys. Really loudly. It caused the teacher to give him a dirty look but for the rest of us it caused us to fall to the floor laughing so hard we nearly all cried. The funniest part was when Aaron didn’t know what he had just walked in on. His blank expression was priceless. I still don’t think he knows. Aaron is a great loss to us all and is going to leave a huge whole in our hearts. We’re all emotional, we’re all crying, we’re all grieving for one of our greatest friends. Aaron’s probably looking down on us right now shaking his fist telling us ‘this is my funeral, you should all be laughing.’ Aaron we may not be able to laugh at your funeral but I’m sure we will be able to laugh about the silly things you did and smile at the beautiful memories you left us with in the near future. On behalf of the students, friends and your family, we all say goodbye to our best friend, Son, Nephew and grandson. We will never forget you, no time will ever change that. As painful as it is to say goodbye, it is something we all have to do. On a more personal note. I thank you Aaron for being there for more, my best friend and my dear confident. I owe you so much, because you taught me the most precious lesson in the world. You told me what my heart is for. So goodbye Aaron, I’m gonna miss you so much, I hope you are finally at peace.’ I see the tears fall down her face after she finishes and she steps down. I walk up to the podium.
“Losing Aaron was like losing my mother all over again, except in a more deeper and personal way. When I found out about his death I did the one thing I have always done when things upset me. I write. This one is for you Aaron:
A million words wouldn’t bring you back, I know because I Have tried.
Neither would a million tears, I know because I have cried.
They say that memories are golden,
Maybe this is true.
But I never wanted memories,
I only wanted you.
My heart still aches in sadness,
And secret tears still flow.
What it meant to lose you,
No-one will ever know.
“Well.” I sob. “I guess…I guess this really is goodbye.” I sob even harder. “No…matter what you think about me, no…matter…what you do. All I know is that I…I still love you.” The tears just come down. I can’t continue, my words are meaningless to them. I feel warm arms dragging me away and holding mw tightly. I smell the scent of the a woman I despises, but with those warm arms I finally come to terms with that. I finally love her.
Sydney’s POV
I walk into Nadia’s room later that day. She’s lying on her back staring at the ceiling. I approach her ad she sits up.
“I’m gonna get Dad to change me to a different school.” She says straight away.
“Running away isn’t the answer.” I say to her solemnly.
“Then what do you suggest I do then. Go back there to people who hate my guts, who are going to make my life a living hell then it already is.” She says yelling angrily at me.
“Nadia you didn’t lose all your friends, you may not realize it now but there are some people who are still behind you, who still care for you. Believe me Nadia you still have friends. If anything you can learn something from this, the people who left you and accused you when you needed tem most are not your friends. Think about it Nads, remember who was there in that group, not everyone was there. Rachael wasn’t there, Haylee and Ashlee and what about Jessica. Sometimes you learn who your true friends are and those people are your true friends the one who have stuck by you. And it’s not only them, you have me, Lisa, Francie and Will and of course there’s Michael, he cares about you. You’re not alone Nadia, you may believe you are but you are not. Maybe you should call one of them; they have been worried about you.” I get up and I leave the room.
Serenah’s POV
“You know I am really starting to get sick of you.” Jack punches the side of my head. And leaves through the front door slamming it. I watch Sydney run up to me.
“Mumma you alright?” She starts examining the wound. “This has gotta stop.” She says with tears coming down my face.
“I know but what am I to do?” I say to her sadly.
“We could leave.” She pleads with me.
“We can’t, I have no legal right over you.” I say to her honestly. “An I won’t go because I won’t leave you two here.”
“If you took this to court you would win and besides dad will let you go because he won’t want his Lawyer’s reputation tarnished. We can leave.”
“When?” I say to her.
“Tomorrow.”
A/N
I wrote the poem above n it’s called ‘What I think of you.” Let me know what you think of it. Before xmas last year my nonna died, dis is what me n nadia have in common we write when we r upset or if sumthin aint going right. I wrote this after she died. Anywho wat did u guyz tink yah :clapping: or nay
let me no wat u tink.
y’all :inlove:
~elle
ps when syd says Aaron was her confident wat did u guyz tink dat is? see if u can guess.
dis is another 1 of my stories over @ sd-1 hope y'all enjoy, n remember i like quotes n constructive critisim
Confessions Of A Broken Heart
We all have secrets; hers is unimaginable
Written by: SydnVaughn4eva 2 ~elle
Disclaimer: I don’t own alias I just decided 2 meddle with va characters lives. But I do claim right 2 my new characters.
Summary: Everything thinks that Syd has the life, but they don’t know the secret she has, they don’t know that she has a heartbreaking confession. They don’t know what goes behind closed doors.
Prologue:
I am said to be perfect. Perfect, popular and beautiful. Well at least on the outside I am. But inside I am broken in a million pieces. My heart is in a million pieces. Sydney Bristow is in a million pieces. My life consists of going to school faking a smile everyday of my life, and coming home to a war zone of casualties with the enemy in close range amidst us. It only took one man to tear this family apart, one man to leave unmistakeable marks on my stepmother’s face; it only took one man to destroy Sydney Bristow.
Am I happy? It’s hard to say. I’m happy with school and my friends, but I’m not happy at home. It’s almost like love/hate. I love my life, I hate my father. Hate is such a strong word, but the reality is this is what it’s all become. It is hard to say when everything was normal and when the war started it’s as if the line is blurred. It is as if it has been going on for so long that I can’t even remember when it all started. We were all happy, well almost. I even admit we still had problems. Nadia never liked Serenah and resented Samantha but apart from that we were happy until it all came crashing down. We’re a family in crises that only grows older. No matter how much chaos happens, the blood never spills to the streets. We’re a family in crises but nobody knows, not even the people I’m closest to.
I love my friends, but somehow I feel as if I couldn’t trust them with my secret. Francie would be speechless. Will would be flabbergasted and start ranting, and Lisa being practical will tell me to tell someone. But I can’t. I hate my father, but he is still my father. Despite what he is doing to me, to Serenah, I could never do that to him. I hate my father but then again I love him at the same time despite what he is doing. Even if I love him, it is never enough to make peace, to stop this bitter battle to stop the tears and the heartbreak. Here it all is around me still ravaging. Here I am in a million pieces, with my heart in a million pieces. With my life in a million pieces. It only took one man to tear this family apart, one man to leave unmistakeable marks on my stepmother’s face; it only took one man to destroy Sydney Bristow.
TBC
Chapter one:
It’s Just an Ordinary Day
Sydney’s POV
I walk out the front like I do everyday of a school week and feel that wave of happiness rush through me, filling every single inch of me, inside and out. Except for one small place. My heart. My heart is twisted mangled and broken. I feel no pain anymore, pain has long since been forgotten. I am just numb. My heart is numb. But being away from the inside, away from the war zone, the happiness drowns out the numbness. It’s almost like I forget, but then I don’t. It still remains as a heavy weight, weighing me down. Though I am Happier, happy as I’ll every probably be. I hear the slamming of a door behind me. I turn slightly to see my sister Nadia striding toward me.
“Let’s go.” She says sharply.
“Someone got out on the wrong side of the bed.” I say smiling slightly. She just gives me one meaningful look and doesn’t reply. I walk towards my Lexus Convertible and hop in. Nadia slides in beside me and I start the engine, reverse out of the driveway and head off to school.
“So do you think it’s gonna stop...everything is just gonna go back to normal again?” Nadia says, breaking the silence. “Because I can’t take this anymore.” She starts to cry. “We’ve…lived…through…this…for a year now...I just can’t…take it anymore.” She says between her sobs. Tears start to fall down my face.
“I don’t know.” Is all I can manage and all I can answer, because I have no answer. I can’t take it either.
“Not even she deserves it.” Nadia says wiping away her tears.
“So you actually admit you like her.” I say laughing through my tears.
“No!” She says shortly. It’s funny how quickly her emotions can change. “I’m just saying that even people like her don’t even deserve this.” She says sighing.
“Yeah sure.” I say teasingly. I love teasing my sister because she bites very easily.
“Shut up, Sydney.” She says grinning.
“I will when you admit you like her.” I say still teasingly.
“Can we just drop it?” She yells at me. Like I said easy to bite.
“Okay, okay, I was just joking.” I say smiling at her.
“I’m sorry, it’s just everything is getting to me at the moment.” She says looking down at her hands.
“Yeah me too.” I say agreeing with her. I turn into the school entrance and the movement of my arm makes me flinch.
“What’s wrong?” She asks in concern, studying me carefully. I don’t reply. “Dammit Syd, did he hit you?” I still don’t reply. A huge lump I in my throat and my stomach fluids start to churn. I feel like I’m going to be sick. I park the car. I get out and walk away not even looking back. I’m trying to keep Nadia from knowing that he’s harming me too. But somehow I think she has known all along.
Nadia’s POV
No one’s hurting as much as she is right now. I know Syd was very close to our mother and father. Even more so when mom died. Syd was devastated, she was so lost without mom, and dad sorta saved her from falling off the face of the earth. And now he’s disappointed her. I sigh. I look near the school building and I see my friends. “Hi guys.” I say brightly. The don’t reply. They just walk away. I walk after them. “What’s wrong?” I ask, confused.
“Oh, I think you know what’s wrong, Nadia.” Amanda turns around abruptly and yells at me. The rest of the group follow suit.. They all look like they have all being crying.
“No actually I don’t.”
“You sure, well then let me give you a run down. You cheated on Aaron at his party with your ex-boyfriend Shane West!” She yells at me punctuating every word.
“I don’t remember such a thing, and I wouldn’t do that to Aaron any way. I love him.” I exclaim to her.
“Oh really. Because it’s funny, because we all saw it with our very own eyes. And guess what Nadia:? Aaron knew it happened.” She says.
“Knew what do you mean knew.” I say confused.
“It’s all your fault.” She says now crying.
“It’s all my fault what. And why are you saying new as if it is past tense, as if he is like dead or something.” I say to her sharply.
“Because he is dead. He committed suicide of you. Nadia Bristow. The pathetic little s**t of the school.” I stare at the wall. “He’s dead.” I stutter.
“Yeah Nadia he’s dead and it’s all your fault.” I just cry. “Go ahead and cry, no one feels the slightest bit sorry for you.” She says sharply and walks away. I fall to the ground crying even harder. I’ve lost the one guy I truly cared about. I loved him, didn’t he know that. Didn’t he know I must have been drunk or something. What happened? And somehow I know. My hands start beating the ground until I am completely overcome with exhaustion. I then feel warm hands picking me up and taking me inside.
Sydney’s POV
“Hi guys.” I approach Lisa, Francie and Will. :How’s your weekend.
“Didn’t you hear?” Lisa says to me, she looks strangely pale.
“Hear what.” I say, confused.
“Aaron Walker committed suicide.” Lisa says.
“What, you mean as in my sisters boyfriend Aaron?” I say bewilded and worried how my sis was gonna take this.
“Yeah, you better find your sister cause the rumors that are going around are saying that she cheated on Aaron with her ex, and this made him commit suicide everyone’s saying it is her fault.” Francie says looking worried. Knowing that b**ch of a friend she has Amanda she’s probably turned everyone against her.
“I better go find her.” I say.
“Don’t worry.” A voice says behind me. That voice I love. A voice I could never miss. Michael Vaughn. So yeah I have a huge crush on him but I have no chance when Lauren Reed the head cheerleader has her nails sunk deep into him.
“Hi” I say. Quickly noticing he has my sister crying into his shoulder. “Thanks, where did you find her?” I say gratefully.
“Outside n the ground crying I saw Amanda tear deep into her. He says as he makes eye contact with me. I could literally get lost in those beautiful green orbs.
“B**ch.” Lisa say.
“I agree,” Michael says.
“Do you know if it is all true?” I ask him.
“Yeah they are, but I know for a fact that Nadia didn’t drink much at the party, so she wasn’t drunk, so it is possible Shane drugged her, which wouldn’t surprise me because he is a sleaze.” He says honestly.
“Bastard I say.” Reaching to grab Nadia out of his arms. She won’t budge. “Doesn’t look she is going anywhere.” I say.
“We can take her to an empty classroom see if she wants to talk.” He suggests to me.
“Good idea, you should probably stay because she obviously finds comfort in you,” I say softly rubbing Nadia’s back. We walk to empty classroom and Michael sits down with Nadia. “Nadia.” I say gently. She lifts hr head to look at me.
“It’s all my fault, I could have stopped him, he came to say goodbye to me, I said goodbye, I should’ve known by the look in is eye what he was about to do. I should’ve known, he was going to kill himself. I’m supposed to love him and I can’t even tell when he is about to kill himself. I am a hopeless human being and I don’t deserve to live. He hates me, he killed himself because he hates me. But then again that’s pretty hard not to, since I’m a slut and all. I’m a dirty skank.” I just stare at Michael with worry on my face. If I leave her alone, what’s going to happen? Will she do it too?
TBC
Chapter Two:
A Million words wouldn’t Bring you Back
Recap:
“Good idea, you should probably stay because she obviously finds comfort in you,” I say softly rubbing Nadia’s back. We walk to empty classroom and Michael sits down with Nadia. “Nadia.” I say gently. She lifts hr head to look at me.
“It’s all my fault, I could have stopped him, he came to say goodbye to me, I said goodbye, I should’ve known by the look in is eye what he was about to do. I should’ve known, he was going to kill himself. I’m supposed to love him and I can’t even tell when he is about to kill himself. I am a hopeless human being and I don’t deserve to live. He hates me, he killed himself because he hates me. But then again that’s pretty hard not to, since I’m a slut and all. I’m a dirty skank.” I just stare at Michael with worry on my face. If I leave her alone, what’s going to happen? Will she do it too?
Nadia’s POV
It’s al a blur one minute I’m in a classroom crying and the next I am in a church witnessing with great heartache my boyfriend’s funeral. It should have never been this way, he should have grown old experiencing his whole life, but instead he cut it short and it is partly my fault. I turn my head side ways and I see his brown coffin with the bouquet of roses on top. Tears cloud my vision and I cry for the thousandth time in two days. I look back at my sister who is about to start the Eulogy, reminding me that after her I have to speak. I haven’t spoken one word since I was in the classroom with Syd and Michael. I feel that if I speak I will kill Aaron even more then he already is, I feel like if I speak I’ll, drive a dagger deeper and deeper into him. I am shame brought upon Aaron his body lying limp in his coffin represents that clearly and I think majority of the people in this room believe the same thing. It was my entire fault.
“Aaron was a fun-loving person and a dear friend too everyone in this room. Aaron had the ability to make anyone smile when they are down. One of his biggest gifts was being able to make me smile. It’s not easy to make me smile when I’m down but he always did and that is a gift within itself. He was able to make my sister happy and cherish her in more ways then I can imagine. I thank you so dearly for looking after my sister when I couldn’t for being there for her when I couldn’t. Aaron was a bit of a goof most of the time but we all loved him for it. He could do the most stupidest things and usually anyone would scold him for it but it was his laughter which drew us to all turn away from that, his laughter was contagious. One of my most funniest memories of Aaron would be when I was in homeroom and we were halfway through saying our prayer and Aaron walks in late saying: hi guys. Really loudly. It caused the teacher to give him a dirty look but for the rest of us it caused us to fall to the floor laughing so hard we nearly all cried. The funniest part was when Aaron didn’t know what he had just walked in on. His blank expression was priceless. I still don’t think he knows. Aaron is a great loss to us all and is going to leave a huge whole in our hearts. We’re all emotional, we’re all crying, we’re all grieving for one of our greatest friends. Aaron’s probably looking down on us right now shaking his fist telling us ‘this is my funeral, you should all be laughing.’ Aaron we may not be able to laugh at your funeral but I’m sure we will be able to laugh about the silly things you did and smile at the beautiful memories you left us with in the near future. On behalf of the students, friends and your family, we all say goodbye to our best friend, Son, Nephew and grandson. We will never forget you, no time will ever change that. As painful as it is to say goodbye, it is something we all have to do. On a more personal note. I thank you Aaron for being there for more, my best friend and my dear confident. I owe you so much, because you taught me the most precious lesson in the world. You told me what my heart is for. So goodbye Aaron, I’m gonna miss you so much, I hope you are finally at peace.’ I see the tears fall down her face after she finishes and she steps down. I walk up to the podium.
“Losing Aaron was like losing my mother all over again, except in a more deeper and personal way. When I found out about his death I did the one thing I have always done when things upset me. I write. This one is for you Aaron:
A million words wouldn’t bring you back, I know because I Have tried.
Neither would a million tears, I know because I have cried.
They say that memories are golden,
Maybe this is true.
But I never wanted memories,
I only wanted you.
My heart still aches in sadness,
And secret tears still flow.
What it meant to lose you,
No-one will ever know.
“Well.” I sob. “I guess…I guess this really is goodbye.” I sob even harder. “No…matter what you think about me, no…matter…what you do. All I know is that I…I still love you.” The tears just come down. I can’t continue, my words are meaningless to them. I feel warm arms dragging me away and holding mw tightly. I smell the scent of the a woman I despises, but with those warm arms I finally come to terms with that. I finally love her.
Sydney’s POV
I walk into Nadia’s room later that day. She’s lying on her back staring at the ceiling. I approach her ad she sits up.
“I’m gonna get Dad to change me to a different school.” She says straight away.
“Running away isn’t the answer.” I say to her solemnly.
“Then what do you suggest I do then. Go back there to people who hate my guts, who are going to make my life a living hell then it already is.” She says yelling angrily at me.
“Nadia you didn’t lose all your friends, you may not realize it now but there are some people who are still behind you, who still care for you. Believe me Nadia you still have friends. If anything you can learn something from this, the people who left you and accused you when you needed tem most are not your friends. Think about it Nads, remember who was there in that group, not everyone was there. Rachael wasn’t there, Haylee and Ashlee and what about Jessica. Sometimes you learn who your true friends are and those people are your true friends the one who have stuck by you. And it’s not only them, you have me, Lisa, Francie and Will and of course there’s Michael, he cares about you. You’re not alone Nadia, you may believe you are but you are not. Maybe you should call one of them; they have been worried about you.” I get up and I leave the room.
Serenah’s POV
“You know I am really starting to get sick of you.” Jack punches the side of my head. And leaves through the front door slamming it. I watch Sydney run up to me.
“Mumma you alright?” She starts examining the wound. “This has gotta stop.” She says with tears coming down my face.
“I know but what am I to do?” I say to her sadly.
“We could leave.” She pleads with me.
“We can’t, I have no legal right over you.” I say to her honestly. “An I won’t go because I won’t leave you two here.”
“If you took this to court you would win and besides dad will let you go because he won’t want his Lawyer’s reputation tarnished. We can leave.”
“When?” I say to her.
“Tomorrow.”
A/N
I wrote the poem above n it’s called ‘What I think of you.” Let me know what you think of it. Before xmas last year my nonna died, dis is what me n nadia have in common we write when we r upset or if sumthin aint going right. I wrote this after she died. Anywho wat did u guyz tink yah :clapping: or nay
let me no wat u tink. y’all :inlove:~elle
ps when syd says Aaron was her confident wat did u guyz tink dat is? see if u can guess.
