A/N: About the last chapter, the original version i wrote of it explained that Jacob wouldn't be back in the city until the morning, which is why he was with Sydney at the hotel, and after, she also rented him a room until his apartment conditions were livable. My mistake, i'm lazy.
~Part 15~
“Disappointment is…the worst feeling any rational person can have. And, I’m not talking about being disappointed in someone else. Disappointment in ones self is the one that really kills you. It makes you wonder what kind of a person you really are.”
“You think felgercarb can never happen to you, that you're f**king untouchable and that your naive sense of morality will get you through life because you're a good person. You think you're a good person?”
Phillip Greene stares at his patient with a blank feature, and briefly, Michael Vaughn looks over to the corner of the room to see Greene’s student intern taking notes.
“Alot of people are convinced they’re good. I did until I lost someone very close to me, and not because of death. But losing a part of your heart, that felgercarb makes you realize what's really important in life. It's not about being who people want you to be, it's being who you want yourself to be. Being a better friend, being supportive, not getting upset about life's little f**king problems, accepting people for who they are. I regret only one thing in life, and that's making this person regret something about themselves. You learn from mistakes, and while it hurts to have lost her for as long as I did, I don't think I’d realize all I’ve learned from her if she’d stayed.”
“By her, you mean Sydney?”
Michael looks down at his hands in his lap for a moment before continuing.
“When I told her everything that she had missed while she was in New York, I knew she regretted leaving. It was something maybe she didn’t see in herself, but I could see it clear as day. She was disappointed in herself for not being the one to pick me up when I was down.”
There’s silence in the room for a moment.
“But things have gotten better with your friendship?”
Michael looks up and stares at Phillip for a moment.
“We haven’t talked very much about the past. We don’t really talk much about anything when we’re together. The thing I’ve realized now is that no words need to be exchanged between us. Because I know her smiles, I know her laughs, I know her looks of boredom and anger, and I know she wasn’t lying when she told me she loved me.”
He leans forward and folds his hands at his mouth.
“It’s not something you can explain to someone, it’s not something you’d probably understand if I told you that when she calls me I know by the tone of her voice how her day went. It’s something that can’t be measured or weighed by any system except for love.”
The student intern, who happens to be a woman, sits in the corner staring at Greene’s patient with utter amazement.
“I’ve already accepted the fact that I’m going to die. The treatments…they’re only pushing back my final day. I wasn’t scared when I found out, because I had nothing else to lose in this world. Everything I had was already gone. But…now she’s here, and that scares me.”
He nods softly to himself.
“She scares me. Because the way she loves me, the way she looks at me, the way she kisses me is something that I never want to be without.”
Silence fills the room once more as Phillip stops writing on his note pad and just stares at the man across from him as if he’s God himself.
“When I started talking to you, I was a bitter son of a bitch. Talking to you, it’s never helped me much. I come because I have too. But she…” He pauses and takes in a slow deep breath. “…something about her has caused me to feel again. The other night, before we ended up making love, she told me the zamboni has always been her favorite part. I’ve always been ashamed of my job, but once she said that, I think it’s the first time I’ve ever truly been happy for a long time.”
Michael stops talking, and a few moments later the timer starts going off, signaling the end of the session. He promptly gets up and slips on his coat, straightening it on the way to the door.
“Michael?”
Michael turns his head to look at Phillip.
“Take care of yourself.”
Michael gives a nod before leaving and the room is again silent.
The intern looks at her boss.
“Who is that man?”
~
The hallway leading to his apartment is cold, but as he steps inside he finds the temperature rise immensely. The landlord had replaced the radiator and since then the heat has been working better than ever.
He closes the door behind him and sheds his coat and shoes near the door before walking over towards his bedroom to use the bathroom. As he enters his heart flutters and he jumps back slightly as he finds a figure wrapped up in the warm blankets on his bed.
He watches from the doorway as Sydney sleeps with the blankets up to her shoulders and one of his pillows pulled tight to her chest.
Landlord must have let her in again.
He smiles softly as he walks into the bathroom and closes the door very softly. After he uses the toilet he turns on the shower and strips down from his t-shirt, jeans, and boxers before stepping into the warm stream of water.
He hadn’t complained to the landlord about the problems with his apartment, but he had an idea who did.
He’s caught off guard when he feels a small pressure on his right shoulder blade. He turns his head slightly to find Sydney resting her cheek against his back with her eyes closed. He turns around and wraps his arms around her as she buries her face in his chest.
“How long have you been here?” He asks.
“Few hours. I was going to wait for you, but I was sleepy. I like your bed.”
He chuckles softly and she smiles at the grumbling under her ear.
“Well, you can use it as much as you want.”
“Well, how about every night?” She asks as she pulls back slightly.
He searches her eyes in confusion.
“I broke it off with Jacob. I’m sure he’s having my stuff removed from his apartment as we speak…”
“The bastard doesn’t deserve you.” He says seriously.
Sydney smiles softly before running a hand over his stubbly cheek.
“Can I stay with you?”
How was he supposed to say no to her?
“Stay for however long forever lasts.”
,
