Politics Depression

im glad that you are... and remember im always here even if i dont help :blush:
mmmm i had a really good day today and i was really happy and stuff now i just feel like emotionally drained its not right that ive just had the best day in months and now i feel like this (n)
i went shopping with my best frend, i hardly get to see her since we moved away from each other two years ago and dont go to the same skool and i laughed the most i have in a while and i just miss her i suppose and its not great mm. i was just talking to this guy i am frends with and he fancies me and i think i dont talk to him in the right way i mean im kinda flirty and he told my frend all this stuff bout me and i dont want him to get the wrong idea because i really care about him as a frend. xxx
 
mm hi people :hug:
dont really have a lot to say today. urm im frozen still! even tho ive put another layer on, so i have 3 layers on. i ended up going to sleep at 2am but luckily i slept through till 11 today. mm im not looking forward to school and yer... dont think ill stay online a lot longer really. how are people today??
:throb: 🦋 :sadangel:
just looked through all the emotion... some are really sweet like the butterfly one :smiley: love you all :throb:
xxxxxxx helen xxxxxxxx
 
s*** now that really makes me upset

errrr, today was ok, didnt end up drinking all the vodka in my bag..., i just i dunno, wish it wouldnt have to be this har,d but hey life is a challenge
 
:hug: You never tell me this stuff, and I'm supposed to be your best mate, please talk to me, I get worried about you :sadangel:

Hi the rest of you people, Helen :hi:
 
yeah, it is easier helen... i love you and u can always talk to me and i will listen or read whatever you type, or i can give hugs :smiley:
:hug: :hug: :kiss:
xxxxx
 
thanks... first i swear this and the depression one have kidna merged.... i mean the topics we talk about in here cross over.
i just got really upset and started crying loads. it started with evertime i sed something my frend disagreed... sounds very pathetic, but it was like i sed do you like this song blabla. no i think that band are common. so i say something else and she says the opposite again. then she goes on about changing and how people changing really annoys her and people changing for others really annoys her. that cums from her, whos best frends completely changed from the quietest girl ever into an exact image of her. its stupid i know but it annoyed me.
then she sed i needed to respect her after all this time i shud. and i lost it so i sed:
''do you know how much i fuking went thro with you. do you realise how much it hurts for you to dissappear and give me a note like the one you gave me after we had a fight and say it wasnt my fault... obviously it fuking felt my fault. how many nites ive sat awake s*** scared that the next day you would be fuking dead''

after that she calmed things down between us. im still really angry at her but i cant be bothered to argue. shes just made me hate myself so much and made me feel the most useless, selfish person on earth. mm xxxxx helen xxxxx
 
hey hun :hug:

it's good you've had it out with her and now maybe sh'll be more considerate of your feelings, I think she needed somewhere to throw all her feeligns, but dumping them on you wasnt fair.

here for you.

take carexxxxx
jayc
 
hmmm yer she didnt and i wish i had been stronger to take them. i had a bad night last night... after that. I didn't realise how much I had cut my arms until i woke up with the pain. Its difficult to continue in the school enviroment with it. Sounds odd, but so many people bask into you, and the amount of sport and dancing i do... mm. I wish i could stop it, but it isnt as easy as that. i mean, one moment im fine, the next minute I am wanting to die. and taking out my anger and all my inside pain seems a lot easier and fairer than killing myself or trying to sort the problem out. and i dont want to seem a selfish problem, so for me suicide is a no no. mmm the stupid this is i had stopped for ages... over 2 months and then a started again but stopped and about 3 weeks it had been before last nite. it makes me hate myself even more for doing it. i am not expecting any of this to make sense, just wana get it out.
love you all xxx :throb:
 
I am very glad you are not suicidal. However, please do seek help about cutting. If your cuts get infected or you get blood poisoning, it could become fatal.
 
I already have help... well its not much help, but sumbody to talk to occaisionally who knows what they are on about. Hm councillers and that just seems to make me more unhappy but maybe its just me. i dont cut really deep cos i dont have anything sharp enuff. dont worry about me. xx
 
do you ever get that feeling where no matter who you are with and what you are doing, you have this feeling of lonlyness pulling you down inside. and thinking about why you feel lonely hurts and you begin to cry. i think its just me. i think i started feeling lonely from losing people i love in my family then i think its the confdence taken from me by bullies... but then it mite just be that i feel im losing a lot of my frends at the moment. im glad i have some people like steph she really helps and i hope i help her too. then only a few others can make me really smile from inside. i have a family councilling thingy 2moro nite and im terrified :thinking: i hav no idea. she said she wouldnt say anything to my parents about anything ive sed to her recently. but i am supposed to anniciate the convosation but wen im in there i go all clammy and i cant say anything... all the words get stuk in my throat and i feel trapped and get really hot. hmmmm.
how is everyone?xx
 
I'm good thankyou, I 've spent the night out with my best mates.

As for the loneliness thing, I always feel lonely, and I thurts so much inside, I can't let it out or understand it, it just makes me feel so unloved. So you're not the only one :hug:

Write down on a prompt card what you want to say at your family counselling and if you get lost passs it to the councillor and they can say what you have in mind. Plus, you can read it and won't get scared and not get out of it what you want, at least as you go through your bullet points you know you are gettting answers.

love ya helen,
cinders xxxxxxxxxxx
 

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