Chapter 26
When Sawyer opened his eyes the next morning, he was disappointed, but not surprised, to see the empty space by his side. Glancing around him, he noticed Eko was the only one there. Kate and Jack were nowhere in sight.
Sawyer sighed and closed his eyes again. He was a total jerk.
The previous night, the group had walked a couple of hours after Locke had followed Tom. Then, they had made camp. But during all that time, Sawyer had been haunted with Locke’s words. John believed Kate loved him enough to vow to spend her life with him, but he was having a hard time sharing his belief.
Kate loved him, yes, but what if it changed once they got off the island? What if she met someone else? Sawyer knew he was being ridiculous. Kate hadn’t given him her heart lightly. But a part of him was still unable to admit that.
After a frugal dinner, the party had settled down to get a few hours of sleep. Naturally, Kate had laid down close to him. Both of them on their sides, they had faced each other.
“You look preoccupied,” she'd said, concerned.
“No, I’m not,” he had replied more coldly than he’d wished he had.
“Ever since John left you’ve seemed bothered. Did he say something to you again?” she’d tried once more, putting her hand on his forearm.
“Look, nothing happened, so quit asking!” had been his answer.
At that moment, he was exasperated, mostly with himself. Why did he have to be such a moron? To take his insecurity out on her?
“James, I know something is wrong, so talk to-”
“Look, I don’t have to tell you everything! Just leave me alone, damn it!” he had exploded before jerking his arm away from her reach on rolling onto his back.
Kate had stared at him for a couple of seconds, a precious lapse of time he could have used to apologize. If he had, on the spot, he wouldn’t be alone right now. But he just hadn’t been ready to. He needed to think and he couldn’t do that when she was so damn close.
So he had pushed her away, even though he had promised himself he’d never do that again. She had been hurt, obviously, and that explained why she was absent at the moment.
“Good morning, James,” Eko suddenly said.
Sawyer slowly sat up.
“Where’s Kate?” he asked.
“She and Jack went to get some mangoes,” Eko informed him.
Praying ‘getting mangoes’ wasn’t a new code name for sex, Sawyer looked down and sighed once more. He hated that she had gone to Jack after fighting with him. And after a night of uneasy sleep, he realised one thing: he had to set things right with Kate. She loved him and he loved her. He had to have faith in that.
As he stared blankly at Eko, Sawyer suddenly noticed the cross he was wearing around his neck. And it gave him an idea.
“I heard you were a priest. Is that right?” he asked.
Eko smiled widely in response as he touched his cross.
“Yes,” he simply replied.
Before Sawyer could say anything, they heard rustling in the bushes. Kate and Jack were back.
Sawyer glanced at her bashfully, but Kate avoided meeting his gaze. Jack tossed he and Eko a mango each.
“We should go right away if we want to be there before sunset,” he declared.
Nobody objected and they went on their way, Jack, Kate and Sawyer impatient
to find out if this day was going to bring them what they were looking for.
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Since they had resumed their journey towards the Tailies’ beach, Kate had avoided Sawyer, chatting with both Jack and Eko while he was trailing behind.
She shunned him, but at the same time all she wanted was to be near him again and make things right between them. Even if she had only glanced briefly at him, she knew he was ready to apologize to her.
But she was hurt and she didn’t hate the idea of making him suffer just a little while longer.
She knew he loved her, but she had yet to understand why he’d pushed her away like he had. Sawyer was a man of frequent mood swings, she was fully aware of that, but she couldn’t help feeling hurt and scared. What if he decided he didn’t want to be with her anymore? Kate just couldn’t find any valid reason why he’d have such a sudden change of heart. What had she done? Everything was just fine between them before Walt and the others had returned… All she knew for sure is that she wasn’t going to be the one to take the first step towards reconciliation. No, that was something he would have to learn to do for himself.
From the corner of her eye, she could see him stealing glances at her from time to time. He didn’t know how to approach her, maybe he was worried she’d push him away in front of Jack? The thought made her smile tenderly. Maybe she could give the guy a chance.
So she slowed down her pace, letting the distance between her and Jack and Eko increase. Only seconds later, she felt his hand on her arm.
“Kate…” he said huskily.
She stopped walking, but remained silent and waited. Sawyer pressed his lips together, something he often did when he was unsure what to do.
“I’m sorry,” he finally said as his apologetic eyes met with hers. “It’s just that… sometimes I still can’t believe how you could love a guy like me.”
It broke Kate’s heart to realise just how insecure he was. He had to understand, once and for all, what he meant to her. She took a step towards him and cupped his face with her hands.
“A guy like you? Are you insane? How could I not love you?” she said, speaking very clearly. “I’ve never met anyone as amazing as you are. I’m a murderer, but yet when I look into your eyes, I… I feel like the most incredible person on the planet. I know that you’d do anything for me...” Kate’s voice broke as Sawyer’s emotion became apparent. “When you push me away, I get so scared it’s for good…”
She hadn’t finished her sentence when they were in each other’s arms and kissing like there was no tomorrow.
“Kate,” Sawyer said when their lips parted at last, “Will you marry me?”
She was taken aback, looking at him with widened eyes, but a smile slowly creeping up on her lips.
“What?”
“You heard me,” Sawyer repeated, his dimples showing. “Let’s get married today. What do you say?”
Kate took a few seconds to take in the question. He wanted to marry her! That was probably the last question she would have expected from him after he had shut her out the previous night. But yet, the answer she was about to give him seemed to her as natural as if she had been waiting for years for him to ask her that one question.
She smiled, beaming. Her eyes locked into his blue ones, she replied firmly:
“Yes… Yes, I will marry you.”
As he heard her answer, Sawyer grinned widely and kissed her deeply, fervently. Kate knew what he had in mind at the moment; she felt the same desire burning inside of her. As she decided to give in, the couple heard Jack calling for them.
Once again fighting their urges, Kate and Sawyer reluctantly let go of one another and headed towards their companions.
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It took less time than expected for the group to reach the beach where the tail of the plane had crashed. Being able to count on a few more hours of sunlight, Jack decided that he wanted to unbury his father and begin the journey back without wasting any time.
As Jack and Eko built a stretcher, Kate and Sawyer looked for a tarp and for pieces of wood that could be used as shovels. When everything was done, Eko showed Jack his father’s grave. Everyone stood by it for a moment, each reflecting on how hard it was to lose a loved one, especially in violent circumstances.
Sawyer was glad he’d had the chance to tell Jack about his father’s feelings for him, to give him some peace. The doctor wasn’t a bad man, he had always known it even though they’d had many disagreements. So when Jack reached for a so-called shovel, Sawyer stopped him.
“Eko and I will do it, Doc.”
Jack stood tall in front of him, ready to stand his ground.
“It’s my father, Sawyer,” he replied coldly.
But Sawyer stayed very calm.
“No son should ever have to see his father’s dead body like this, Jack,” he said quietly.
His kind words, doubled with the use of his real name, for once, seemed to make Jack freeze. He suddenly seemed exhausted. For over two months he had been, as Sawyer liked to say, the ‘hero’ for the whole group, but now he felt like giving in. Like letting someone else help him, be strong for him.
“Okay,” he replied, emotion lacing his voice. “Thanks… James.”
At the mention of his own first name, Sawyer felt as Jack just had. All he could do was nod, knowing that from now on things would be different between them.
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As Sawyer and Eko dug, Jack and Kate sat on the beach in silence. Kate could imagine what Jack was thinking about and she felt she shouldn't invade on that moment. So she focused on what was on her own mind.
Would she and Sawyer ever get the chance they were waiting for? She was getting a little desperate. Should they just stay there on that beach, letting the doctor and the priest cross the island without them? She didn’t have any answer to those questions and it drove her crazy.
Finally, Christian Shepard’s body was wrapped in a tarp on the stretcher, ready to go back to camp. Kate and Jack stood up as Sawyer and Eko came to them. Strangely in such a time, Eko was smiling widely.
“So, it seems I have a wedding to celebrate?” he asked Kate who looked down, feeling a bit uneasy at the idea of Jack witnessing such a thing. But she felt his hand on her shoulder and raised her eyes to meet his.
“You two are made for each other, Kate. It’s… fate,” he said honestly, his eyes nonetheless showing a hint of regret.
Tears invaded Kate's eyes as she hugged him. Jack's acceptance of her feelings for Sawyer meant a lot to her. He had been such friend, such a rock for her since the crash that the last thing she would have wanted was to hurt him. There even had been a time when she thought she could have loved him... But that time had passed, what seemed like a life time ago.
As she let go of the doctor, Kate caught sight of Sawyer standing a few feet away, dirty and sweaty but looking at her with such love that she felt her heart swell. Like there was no one else there but them, she walked towards him and took his hands in hers.
They stayed that way all the time Eko spoke. And when he finally pronounced them husband and wife, the kiss they shared was beyond intense, beyond passionate. It simply was the best kiss a woman could ever dream of.
Kate was still in Sawyer’s arms, wishing Jack and Eko could disappear for a couple of hours when she heard Jack gasp.
“Can you see this?! There’s... a sailboat out there!”
That was probably the only thing Jack could have said to make her and Sawyer let go of each other. The newly married couple turned to scrutinize the ocean. Jack was telling the truth: a sailboat was coming towards them.
Kate and Sawyer exchanged a knowing glance: their moment had come. Without an hesitation, Jack and Sawyer removed their shoes and shirts, secured their guns into the waistband of their jeans and went into the water.
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As he swam back to the beach, Sawyer could hardly repress his smile. He and Kate were going to make it after all, he was now convinced of it.
Moments later, he and Jack finally stood in front of Kate and Eko again. Kate seemed restless, impatient to know what they'd found.
"Who's on that boat?" she asked eagerly, having noticed a third silhouette on the deck with them.
Jack was the one who answered.
"It's Desmond," he revealed to Kate's surprise. "He was the man who lived in the hatch before we opened it," he then explained for Eko's benefit.
Sawyer was unable to detach his eyes from Kate as the news sank in. And when she finally gazed at him, he saw something he had never seen before in her eyes: hope.
That obviously didn't go unnoticed by Jack who continued:
"We have a plan, Kate."
Quickly, Jack explained how, now that the island wasn't in a snow globe anymore, the sailboat could finally leave. Desmond had agreed to take she and Sawyer aboard and would then take them wherever they wanted to go.
"But what about you and Eko? And the rest of the survivors?" Kate wondered.
"Well, according to Tom if we call for help with our radio they'll be able to hear us. If they don't, if Desmond doesn't hear that we've been rescued within a week, he'll call the authorites. They'll find us, Kate. Don't worry."
Kate still seemed to be preoccupied, and Sawyer could tell what it was. She was probably gearing herself up for more running, more hiding.
"Kate," he said softly. She looked at him and he explained, "We have a plan. You won't have to run anymore."
"What? How? I know the marshal is dead, but they'll still be searching for me..."
"We’ll tell them you and Sawyer died, Kate. That you couldn't face the prospect of running again. And... Sawyer could find the strength to go on without you..."
"I have some money under false IDs, Freckles," Sawyer said as he cupped her face. "We'll be fine, I promise."
Finally reassured, Kate grinned. But that smile quickly faded away when she realised it was time to leave the friends and the island she had grown to care deeply about over the last months.
Kate hugged Jack again before turning to Eko. While she spoke to the black man, Sawyer and his former rival shook hands amicably. They didn't need words; they both knew how much respect there was between the two of them.
Sawyer then faced Eko, the man who had repeatedly stood up in front of Ana-Lucia to save his life. To bring him back to Kate. For that, he would be eternally grateful.
When the goodbyes were done with, Sawyer took Kate's hand in his and they shared a look. A look that showed they were ready to begin a new chapter in their lives.
Without looking back, they went into the water.