Dominion
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syd_kicks_serious_ass
Angel, you've got wings baby
wow wow wow wow wow wow wow wow wow wow wow wow wow wow wow wow wow wow wow wow wow wow wow wow wow wow wow wow wow wow wow wow wow wow wow wow wow wow wow wow wow wow wow wow wow wow wow wow wow wow wow wow wow wow wow wow wow wow wow wow wow wow wow wow wow wow wow wow wow wow wow wow wow wow wow wow wow wow wow wow wow wow wow wow wow wow wow wow wow wow wow wow wow wow wow wow wow wow wow wow wow wow wow wow wow wow wow wow wow wow wow wow wow wow wow wow wow wow wow wow wow wow wow wow wow wowwow wow wow wow wow wow wow wow wow wow wow wow wow wow wow wow wow wow wow wow wow
i just found this and it is great.
not great, amazing.
no not amazing.......no words can describe how brilliantly crafted this fic is.
seriosuly, no review can do this justice. its just an amazing amazing fic.
you hav worded it so wonderfully, with what seems like maticulous precision, each word seems to hav its place, it belongs. Nothing is over-done or goes on too long. Seriously, this is just......wow.
and i love the use of quotes, they're really good, appropriate and add another dimension to the story.
LOVE EVERYTHING ABOUT THIS!
all the descriptive passages r so awesome too, OMG im just not over it.
PWEASE PWEETY PWETTY PWEASE upsate soon. like really soon, like RIGHT NOW. cos im so totally hooked.
and Pwease can i be added to ur PM list? taxxx
great work again, im sorry this review just doesnt do you or ur fic justice.
oh and i love the flashbacks too, they're just, great.
wow. wow, wow, wow.
OMG im not over this its sooooo good.
WOW!!!!!!!
Luv Rachxxx
i just found this and it is great.not great, amazing.
no not amazing.......no words can describe how brilliantly crafted this fic is.
seriosuly, no review can do this justice. its just an amazing amazing fic.
you hav worded it so wonderfully, with what seems like maticulous precision, each word seems to hav its place, it belongs. Nothing is over-done or goes on too long. Seriously, this is just......wow.
and i love the use of quotes, they're really good, appropriate and add another dimension to the story.
LOVE EVERYTHING ABOUT THIS!
all the descriptive passages r so awesome too, OMG im just not over it.
PWEASE PWEETY PWETTY PWEASE upsate soon. like really soon, like RIGHT NOW. cos im so totally hooked.
and Pwease can i be added to ur PM list? taxxx
great work again, im sorry this review just doesnt do you or ur fic justice.
oh and i love the flashbacks too, they're just, great.
wow. wow, wow, wow.
OMG im not over this its sooooo good.
WOW!!!!!!!
Luv Rachxxx
icklebit0711
Cadet
This chapter is dedicated to the birthday girl because she gave me cake with extra icing.
Disclaimer: Neither the poem or the Alias characters belong to me
Dominion
Chapter 4
I do not love you as if you were salt-rose, or topaz,
Or the arrow of carnations the fire shoots off.
I love you as certain dark things are to be loved,
In secret, between the shadow and the soul.
She does not spare a look back at the flustered agent repeatedly calling her name, rising in pitch with every unsuccessful call. Every instinct instructs her to get away, location unimportant as long as it is away from this building and the…her mind struggles to come up with a fitting title for Michael Vaughn in its harried state. A deeper voice has joined in with Agent Reed’s calls, she knows that voice well enough to speed up in her escape efforts. When the voice is joined by distinct quickened footsteps she accepts that a confrontation is going to be unavoidable.
Quickly changing direction as she spies an empty conference room and heads for the front of the room leaving the door open for the man that will shortly enter. She is not disappointed as no more than five minutes later she hears the metallic latch of the door catching signalling its closure.
Concerned about her abrupt exit from the interview you do not pay attention to the visible signs of wrath that would cause other men to turn tail and leave as quickly as they could. “What’s going on Syd, why did you run off like that? Did something happen in the interview?”
“Yeah I found out that me and that NSC agent have some things in common.” You are confused by her body language, her arms are wrapped tightly around herself, a protective gesture. But she is pacing having to vent the frenetic energy that fills her. But it is her eyes that cause you the most concern; the sumptuous chocolate brown has been darkened by some emotion that you are unable to identify; before she begins to circle you, stalking towards you the image of a cages animal assails you.
“What? You’ve never met her right?”
“Well we were having a nice friendly chat when I remembered something, I had this really weird sense of déjà vu, like I knew her from somewhere. Guess where it was? Turns out while I was being held by the Covenant I got away, I came back to see you only to find you in a bar kissing another woman. Want to guess who that woman was Vaughn?”
“What Syd? What are you talking about? You came back? Is that the only thing you remember?”
“Isn’t that enough, knowing I saw you with another woman hurt me enough that I went back to them Vaughn.”
“I don’t understand Sydney.”
“That makes two of us then, Weiss, my dad, Dixon they all said you were lost when I died; that you changed completely. I guess you got over me pretty quick, tell me was she the only one Vaughn? Or did you go out the day after my funeral, I bet women lapped up the sad story about your dead girlfriend.”
“Syd...” You foolishly make the mistake of reaching for her, trying to catch her hand. She pulls away from you as if the thought of physical contact sickens her.
Safe with the expanse of a table between you she feels able to attack you. She meticulously chooses every word knowing which will strike at you deepest. “No. I don’t want to hear it, just leave me the hell alone. I don’t want you anywhere near me.” You are rooted in place by accusations that she will not allow you the chance to refute as you accept that even if you told her the truth she would deny it.
“I thought you loved me.” Those five words, she cannot comprehend how much they wound you. That she could so willingly doubt the love that you have for her only serves to widen the gulf that separates you from each other. With that final denunciation left to ricochet off the veneered panel walls, you are left your head suddenly too heavy and your heart constricted by the impact of her words. While you don’t blame her for being distressed at what she thought had happened, you are angered by her inability to hear, to let you explain and tell her the truth about that night. Indignation gives way to resentment as you think that she has stubbornly chosen to run off, deal with her own pain because she fails to see the extent of yours.
I love you as the plant that never blooms
But carries in itself the light of hidden flowers;
Thanks to your love a certain solid fragrance,
Risen from the earth, lives darkly in my body.
***
There she is a black figure carved into a blue horizon shrouded in emotions that weigh too heavily on her mind. Drawn to her so that he is standing beside her without remembering ever taking a step, she does not turn to you, she offers no greeting or welcome but he is wise enough to acknowledge that he is encroaching on her private moment and that it would be better to not antagonise her further.
When she first senses the figure approaching her she had believed it to be Vaughn, when she realised it was Eric she had felt disappointed. Did Vaughn care so little, did she mean nothing to him that he wouldn’t try and explain or at least offer some penance. ‘But he did try to explain you just wouldn’t listen.’ Cursing the voice in her head for its infuriating logic she finally spoke; “Did he tell you to come?”
The scorn in her voice is partially unexpected, while he knew that something must be greatly amiss for Vaughn not to have been here he did not know the extent or the reason for the argument that was separating them. “You want to tell me what’s going on?”
“The woman that was conducting the interview…she…I…I felt like I knew her from somewhere. He kissed her Eric, I saw them.”
“Woah Syd slow down. You saw Vaughn kissing Agent Reed?” This was the last thing that he had expected to hear and was unsure whether the larger part of him found it amusing or utterly ridiculous. Evidently Sydney didn’t share his disbelief as her defeated body language and sombre tone confirmed.
Unable to give any sort of verbal response she nods her face obscured by a veil of chestnut. “Did you ask him about it?”
“What’s to ask I know what I saw Eric.” Unappreciative of his questioning her tone is clipped as she answers.
Weiss still dumbfounded that she believes Vaughn is capable of being with some one else, he does not pay heed to the dangerous ground that he is treading on. “So clarify it for me you saw Michael Vaughn kissing another woman. What the hell Syd are you even listening to yourself?” The incredulity of what he is hearing drives him on, unable to comprehend how she could honestly believe what she is saying.
Her eyebrow arches in silent challenge unaccustomed to being pushed so far by anyone beside Kendall or her father. “Yes I am, I remember it; seeing the two of them together.”
“When?”
“What why does when it happened matter?”
“It just does.” His answer is sure and strong rooted in a knowledge that is proving to be elusive to her
Slightly rattled by this revelation she does her best not to let it show, all the while Weiss is carefully chipping away at rage replacing it with self-doubt. “While I was missing so about a year and three months. You should know Eric you were there after all.”
A tired hand comes to alleviate stress lines that surely weren’t there before this little heart-to-heart began. ‘You owe me big time Mikey boy.’ His mind mocks but there are serious implications so he will continue to exacerbate a woman who could easily end his life with a flick of her wrist and a carefully placed finger. “Jesus Sydney you need to talk to Vaughn about this, there are things he needs to explain.”
“There’s nothing he can say to me Eric, he acts like he was broken when I die…when I disappeared but not so broken that he could kiss someone else and then conveniently forget to tell me.”
“You’ve been back what two days, aren’t you both supposed to still be in the jubilant reunion stage?” His tone is more mocking than he intended it to be bordering on derisive. Knowing that he is pushing for a reaction he allows a sarcastic small to briefly pass across his face just for long enough that you can be sure she has seen it.
“Look Eric why don’t you just run back to Vaughn, tell him next time not to send the monkey to do his pleading.”
Momentarily stunned by the tirade Weiss steps away perfectly ready to leave Sydney to wallow in her abysmal mood. He can’t recollect ever seeing her be so scathing and unrelenting in her anger but he knows that Vaughn is completely undeserving of being on the receiving end of Sydney’s wrath so instead of leaving he decides this is the best time for Sydney to listen to some home truths.
“Vaughn isn’t the one who should be pleading. You wanna know the truth Syd, Vaughn he died right along with you. He wasn’t the same person anymore, he wasn’t the same Vaughn. He cut everyone out of his life, me, his mom no one could reach him. No one except you.”
“What Weiss?”
Having garnered her attention he continues softening his tone in an effort to cushion the impact that he knows his words are going to have. “That night I forced him to come out with me, I thought if I got him out, just for a couple of drinks. He never left his apartment except to go to work or take Donovan for a run. He thought that he hid his grief from everyone; he put on a good show acted the way he thought people expected him to, but I saw. I watched as my best friend became a ghost of his former self and I couldn’t do a single thing to help him. Can you imagine what it’s like feeling that helpless, just watching him withdraw more and more each day?”
While her countenance has lost in uncharacteristic harshness fury is still apparent in her voice. “But he never told me, he hasn’t said anything.”
“Did you honestly think he would? What’s he meant to say Sydney that he sat in his apartment for two years staring at photos that he had taken from your file, not eating unless someone forced him to, that every time he slept he woke up screaming your name.”
“Oh god why Eric? I knew he grieved but I never thought…”
“Christ Syd are you in denial? Or are you just blind? I’m sorry but you have to know by now how he feels about you, everyone else who has ever seen you together knows. You’re it for Vaughn, you’re the one that makes all those stupid cliché lines about love true for him. And as much as chick flick sentimentally makes me want to wretch I pray that one day I will someone who feels even a tenth for me of what he feels for you.”
“Eric...but the bar…he kissed Lauren. If he was suffering so much how could he do that?” Her composure is rapidly disintegrating as she is presented with the debilitating truth of the man she loves torment.
“That kiss as brief as it was, was the most human contact he’d had in almost a year. I can’t believe that after everything evil crime syndicates, sociopath bosses and the protocol of an entire agency that a kiss with a freakishly unnatural blond is going to be the thing that comes between you.”
The flash of anger is quickly chased away by a look of firm admonishment and then sorrowful regret. Tears tremble on long lashes but are never permitted to fall but rather hastily brushed away hiding the evidence that they were ever there.
“I’m sorry, I know this must be hard for you to hear but someone needs to tell you; and since Vaughn isn’t going to that leaves me. Just listen Syd and quit giving me the Bristow glare, god you’re as lethal as Jack with that thing.”
A pitiful and smile spill forward unable to be contained in the light-hearted moment. “You’re a pig for trying to make me laugh now Weiss.”
“Hey less of the insults if you please, you do wonders for my self-confidence you know.”
Off another patented Bristow glare he decides it would be better to tell her before she throws him over the railing. Sobered enough to tell her the truth about that night he subconsciously moves closer to her preparing to offer the comfort that he knows she is going to need when he is through. He curses having to be the one causing her more unhappiness but this situation needs to be rectified quickly.
“I saw him run out the door but I didn’t know what had happened, I tried to catch up with him but he’s a speedy little bugger when he wants to be so I got in the car and staring driving around trying to think of every place that he could have gone to. I went to the train station first.” Her head flies up for confirmation of what she heard. “He told me once that you liked the train station watching normal people go to their jobs. He wasn’t there or anywhere else, of course just when I was getting ready to give up I spotted him. He was sitting outside of your apartment on the steps. I honestly think that he didn’t know I was there and then out og nowhere he just started talking about all the plans he had for the two of you, how he was going to take you to Santa Barbara, ask you to move in with him. He was planning out a future completely oblivious to the fact that you weren’t there to live it.” When a hand passes across his eyes he is not surprised by the moisture that stains his fingertips when he retracts them. He remembers crying that night as he realised that Michael Vaughn the strongest, most rational person he knew was lost in something that he was never going to come back from and the more crushing blow that wherever it was he languished he didn’t want to come back.
“When I finally got him to notice me I told him that I was going to take him home, he just looked at me like I’d said the most ridiculous thing then he told me he was already home. I’m not sure how I did it but I finally got him in the car and then home, he didn’t say a word the whole time so I sat him down on the couch expecting or maybe hoping that he would just fall asleep for once. I’d only left him for a couple of minutes just to go to the bathroom before I heard him. He had moved from the couch to the kitchen floor all curled up, he screamed your name over and over again and I swear my blood ran cold. It wasn’t the kind of scream like when you’re scared this was something else; something that I never want to hear again.”
Immersed in the memory the wails of desolation once again assail your ears, the pitiful cries wrung from the broken shell of a man before you. “Why can’t you leave me alone?” You are able to discern those words from the rest, thinking at first that he is addressing you but you know in your heart the truth, that he is trying to converse with someone who is beyond the reach of his question.
For Michael though there does come a reply; silence, deadly vacuous silence. Why had she abandoned him? She’d been so real in the bar, when he’d kissed her he had felt her soft breath puff against his face, the way her hair had tickled his cheek, the warmth of her skin and the fire of her passion had all been real. But she’d left him evaporated like the mist at dawn and he only knew that he had to find her again. Those few seconds when she’d been in his arms his heart had started to beat again, he’d felt the ice in his veins recede as her fire rejuvenated him.
You are relieved by the quiet so welcome after the unholy sounds of mere seconds ago. Observing that Vaughn has gained enough control to slip back on his mask of indifference. The comfort provided by your thoughts is speedily rescinded by the torrent of words that fill the room. “I kissed her Eric she was right there at the bar. Did you see her? I have to find her, the ocean’s so dark at night, I can’t leave her in the dark. Can you bring her back? Find out why she left me?”
“Eventually he passed out and I managed to drag him back to the couch. I sat in the chair watching him the whole night, debating the ways in which I could help him, while part of me argued that I was his best friend so surely I could fix this, the other part knew the truth; knew that there was no way for me to mend him and I knew that if I tried I’d end up being pulled right down with him. I wouldn’t have been strong enough to get him out without losing myself to the same thing. So I made a decision to walk away from him, I stopped calling, visiting the whole lot. When he took his extended leave from the agency he disappeared from my life completely. But I don’t regret making that choice, you see watching him that night what I realised was that Vaughn didn’t need rescuing; not really because wherever he was he had you Sydney. He let go of everything else in his life except you. The rest of us never understood that but I get it now because I know that it was you that got him through those two years just like I know without a doubt that he’s what got you through the time that you were gone.”
Words fail her as this time she lets the tears flow unchecked, as sobs burn and choke her throat with trying to repress them. She had never considered that Vaughn could have reacted in such a way. She had assumed, foolishly it appeared that his grief would run a similar course to hers for Danny. As Weiss holds her close she feels intense sorrow for him, she would never have the memories of Vaughn’s pain and anguished grief. She would never have to watch him come apart as this man had been forced to stand by and observe.
“Thank you for telling me Eric, I needed to know.” As she brushes tears away with the backs of her hands she replays the scene in the conference room, the accusations she had slung at him and her parting comment all adding to the misery from what she had learnt. “How am I ever going to tell him how sorry I am?”
A previously invisible figure emerges out of the shadows, your gruff voice alludes to the tears that you have shed whilst listening to your friend relate events that you wished could be exorcised from your memory. The crushed figure nearest you calls to you begging you to forgive any wrongdoing and lose yourself in her fierce embrace without ever uttering a single word. “Shouldn’t you be asking me that?”
There’s something so exquisitely beautiful in her tears that you cannot help reaching for her. Taking her into your arms and comforting her, being her rock as much as she is yours. “Vaughn, oh God I’m so sorry for what I said to you, I didn’t know. Why didn’t you tell me?”
Forgiven is the pain she caused you and practically forgotten with the sensation of her being so close that mirth colours your voice as you reply. “You didn’t really give me the chance before you ran off.”
Weiss discreetly withdraws himself knowing that the couple need their privacy. Quietly he mumbles a prayer to whatever higher power is out there that there won’t be any more heartache for these two people that have already suffered enough to last a lifetime. With a wistful look back at his two friends wrapped up tightly in each other’s arms he knows indisputably that they will overcome whatever they have to face in the future because they have each other, because they have love and because there is nothing in existence stronger than that.
I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where.
I love you straightforwardly, without complexities or pride;
So I love you because I know no other way
Than this: where I does not exist, nor you,
So close that your hand on my chest is my hand,
So close that your eyes close as I fall asleep.
~TBC~
**The quotes in this chapter are taken from ‘Sonnet 17 (I do not love you…)’ by Pablo Neruda**
Hope you liked it
Icklebit aka Jady T
A/N: I hate dialogue yet the whole chapter is riddled with it, I apologise it wasn't meant to come out like that!! :angry:
Disclaimer: Neither the poem or the Alias characters belong to me
Dominion
Chapter 4
I do not love you as if you were salt-rose, or topaz,
Or the arrow of carnations the fire shoots off.
I love you as certain dark things are to be loved,
In secret, between the shadow and the soul.
She does not spare a look back at the flustered agent repeatedly calling her name, rising in pitch with every unsuccessful call. Every instinct instructs her to get away, location unimportant as long as it is away from this building and the…her mind struggles to come up with a fitting title for Michael Vaughn in its harried state. A deeper voice has joined in with Agent Reed’s calls, she knows that voice well enough to speed up in her escape efforts. When the voice is joined by distinct quickened footsteps she accepts that a confrontation is going to be unavoidable.
Quickly changing direction as she spies an empty conference room and heads for the front of the room leaving the door open for the man that will shortly enter. She is not disappointed as no more than five minutes later she hears the metallic latch of the door catching signalling its closure.
Concerned about her abrupt exit from the interview you do not pay attention to the visible signs of wrath that would cause other men to turn tail and leave as quickly as they could. “What’s going on Syd, why did you run off like that? Did something happen in the interview?”
“Yeah I found out that me and that NSC agent have some things in common.” You are confused by her body language, her arms are wrapped tightly around herself, a protective gesture. But she is pacing having to vent the frenetic energy that fills her. But it is her eyes that cause you the most concern; the sumptuous chocolate brown has been darkened by some emotion that you are unable to identify; before she begins to circle you, stalking towards you the image of a cages animal assails you.
“What? You’ve never met her right?”
“Well we were having a nice friendly chat when I remembered something, I had this really weird sense of déjà vu, like I knew her from somewhere. Guess where it was? Turns out while I was being held by the Covenant I got away, I came back to see you only to find you in a bar kissing another woman. Want to guess who that woman was Vaughn?”
“What Syd? What are you talking about? You came back? Is that the only thing you remember?”
“Isn’t that enough, knowing I saw you with another woman hurt me enough that I went back to them Vaughn.”
“I don’t understand Sydney.”
“That makes two of us then, Weiss, my dad, Dixon they all said you were lost when I died; that you changed completely. I guess you got over me pretty quick, tell me was she the only one Vaughn? Or did you go out the day after my funeral, I bet women lapped up the sad story about your dead girlfriend.”
“Syd...” You foolishly make the mistake of reaching for her, trying to catch her hand. She pulls away from you as if the thought of physical contact sickens her.
Safe with the expanse of a table between you she feels able to attack you. She meticulously chooses every word knowing which will strike at you deepest. “No. I don’t want to hear it, just leave me the hell alone. I don’t want you anywhere near me.” You are rooted in place by accusations that she will not allow you the chance to refute as you accept that even if you told her the truth she would deny it.
“I thought you loved me.” Those five words, she cannot comprehend how much they wound you. That she could so willingly doubt the love that you have for her only serves to widen the gulf that separates you from each other. With that final denunciation left to ricochet off the veneered panel walls, you are left your head suddenly too heavy and your heart constricted by the impact of her words. While you don’t blame her for being distressed at what she thought had happened, you are angered by her inability to hear, to let you explain and tell her the truth about that night. Indignation gives way to resentment as you think that she has stubbornly chosen to run off, deal with her own pain because she fails to see the extent of yours.
I love you as the plant that never blooms
But carries in itself the light of hidden flowers;
Thanks to your love a certain solid fragrance,
Risen from the earth, lives darkly in my body.
***
There she is a black figure carved into a blue horizon shrouded in emotions that weigh too heavily on her mind. Drawn to her so that he is standing beside her without remembering ever taking a step, she does not turn to you, she offers no greeting or welcome but he is wise enough to acknowledge that he is encroaching on her private moment and that it would be better to not antagonise her further.
When she first senses the figure approaching her she had believed it to be Vaughn, when she realised it was Eric she had felt disappointed. Did Vaughn care so little, did she mean nothing to him that he wouldn’t try and explain or at least offer some penance. ‘But he did try to explain you just wouldn’t listen.’ Cursing the voice in her head for its infuriating logic she finally spoke; “Did he tell you to come?”
The scorn in her voice is partially unexpected, while he knew that something must be greatly amiss for Vaughn not to have been here he did not know the extent or the reason for the argument that was separating them. “You want to tell me what’s going on?”
“The woman that was conducting the interview…she…I…I felt like I knew her from somewhere. He kissed her Eric, I saw them.”
“Woah Syd slow down. You saw Vaughn kissing Agent Reed?” This was the last thing that he had expected to hear and was unsure whether the larger part of him found it amusing or utterly ridiculous. Evidently Sydney didn’t share his disbelief as her defeated body language and sombre tone confirmed.
Unable to give any sort of verbal response she nods her face obscured by a veil of chestnut. “Did you ask him about it?”
“What’s to ask I know what I saw Eric.” Unappreciative of his questioning her tone is clipped as she answers.
Weiss still dumbfounded that she believes Vaughn is capable of being with some one else, he does not pay heed to the dangerous ground that he is treading on. “So clarify it for me you saw Michael Vaughn kissing another woman. What the hell Syd are you even listening to yourself?” The incredulity of what he is hearing drives him on, unable to comprehend how she could honestly believe what she is saying.
Her eyebrow arches in silent challenge unaccustomed to being pushed so far by anyone beside Kendall or her father. “Yes I am, I remember it; seeing the two of them together.”
“When?”
“What why does when it happened matter?”
“It just does.” His answer is sure and strong rooted in a knowledge that is proving to be elusive to her
Slightly rattled by this revelation she does her best not to let it show, all the while Weiss is carefully chipping away at rage replacing it with self-doubt. “While I was missing so about a year and three months. You should know Eric you were there after all.”
A tired hand comes to alleviate stress lines that surely weren’t there before this little heart-to-heart began. ‘You owe me big time Mikey boy.’ His mind mocks but there are serious implications so he will continue to exacerbate a woman who could easily end his life with a flick of her wrist and a carefully placed finger. “Jesus Sydney you need to talk to Vaughn about this, there are things he needs to explain.”
“There’s nothing he can say to me Eric, he acts like he was broken when I die…when I disappeared but not so broken that he could kiss someone else and then conveniently forget to tell me.”
“You’ve been back what two days, aren’t you both supposed to still be in the jubilant reunion stage?” His tone is more mocking than he intended it to be bordering on derisive. Knowing that he is pushing for a reaction he allows a sarcastic small to briefly pass across his face just for long enough that you can be sure she has seen it.
“Look Eric why don’t you just run back to Vaughn, tell him next time not to send the monkey to do his pleading.”
Momentarily stunned by the tirade Weiss steps away perfectly ready to leave Sydney to wallow in her abysmal mood. He can’t recollect ever seeing her be so scathing and unrelenting in her anger but he knows that Vaughn is completely undeserving of being on the receiving end of Sydney’s wrath so instead of leaving he decides this is the best time for Sydney to listen to some home truths.
“Vaughn isn’t the one who should be pleading. You wanna know the truth Syd, Vaughn he died right along with you. He wasn’t the same person anymore, he wasn’t the same Vaughn. He cut everyone out of his life, me, his mom no one could reach him. No one except you.”
“What Weiss?”
Having garnered her attention he continues softening his tone in an effort to cushion the impact that he knows his words are going to have. “That night I forced him to come out with me, I thought if I got him out, just for a couple of drinks. He never left his apartment except to go to work or take Donovan for a run. He thought that he hid his grief from everyone; he put on a good show acted the way he thought people expected him to, but I saw. I watched as my best friend became a ghost of his former self and I couldn’t do a single thing to help him. Can you imagine what it’s like feeling that helpless, just watching him withdraw more and more each day?”
While her countenance has lost in uncharacteristic harshness fury is still apparent in her voice. “But he never told me, he hasn’t said anything.”
“Did you honestly think he would? What’s he meant to say Sydney that he sat in his apartment for two years staring at photos that he had taken from your file, not eating unless someone forced him to, that every time he slept he woke up screaming your name.”
“Oh god why Eric? I knew he grieved but I never thought…”
“Christ Syd are you in denial? Or are you just blind? I’m sorry but you have to know by now how he feels about you, everyone else who has ever seen you together knows. You’re it for Vaughn, you’re the one that makes all those stupid cliché lines about love true for him. And as much as chick flick sentimentally makes me want to wretch I pray that one day I will someone who feels even a tenth for me of what he feels for you.”
“Eric...but the bar…he kissed Lauren. If he was suffering so much how could he do that?” Her composure is rapidly disintegrating as she is presented with the debilitating truth of the man she loves torment.
“That kiss as brief as it was, was the most human contact he’d had in almost a year. I can’t believe that after everything evil crime syndicates, sociopath bosses and the protocol of an entire agency that a kiss with a freakishly unnatural blond is going to be the thing that comes between you.”
The flash of anger is quickly chased away by a look of firm admonishment and then sorrowful regret. Tears tremble on long lashes but are never permitted to fall but rather hastily brushed away hiding the evidence that they were ever there.
“I’m sorry, I know this must be hard for you to hear but someone needs to tell you; and since Vaughn isn’t going to that leaves me. Just listen Syd and quit giving me the Bristow glare, god you’re as lethal as Jack with that thing.”
A pitiful and smile spill forward unable to be contained in the light-hearted moment. “You’re a pig for trying to make me laugh now Weiss.”
“Hey less of the insults if you please, you do wonders for my self-confidence you know.”
Off another patented Bristow glare he decides it would be better to tell her before she throws him over the railing. Sobered enough to tell her the truth about that night he subconsciously moves closer to her preparing to offer the comfort that he knows she is going to need when he is through. He curses having to be the one causing her more unhappiness but this situation needs to be rectified quickly.
“I saw him run out the door but I didn’t know what had happened, I tried to catch up with him but he’s a speedy little bugger when he wants to be so I got in the car and staring driving around trying to think of every place that he could have gone to. I went to the train station first.” Her head flies up for confirmation of what she heard. “He told me once that you liked the train station watching normal people go to their jobs. He wasn’t there or anywhere else, of course just when I was getting ready to give up I spotted him. He was sitting outside of your apartment on the steps. I honestly think that he didn’t know I was there and then out og nowhere he just started talking about all the plans he had for the two of you, how he was going to take you to Santa Barbara, ask you to move in with him. He was planning out a future completely oblivious to the fact that you weren’t there to live it.” When a hand passes across his eyes he is not surprised by the moisture that stains his fingertips when he retracts them. He remembers crying that night as he realised that Michael Vaughn the strongest, most rational person he knew was lost in something that he was never going to come back from and the more crushing blow that wherever it was he languished he didn’t want to come back.
“When I finally got him to notice me I told him that I was going to take him home, he just looked at me like I’d said the most ridiculous thing then he told me he was already home. I’m not sure how I did it but I finally got him in the car and then home, he didn’t say a word the whole time so I sat him down on the couch expecting or maybe hoping that he would just fall asleep for once. I’d only left him for a couple of minutes just to go to the bathroom before I heard him. He had moved from the couch to the kitchen floor all curled up, he screamed your name over and over again and I swear my blood ran cold. It wasn’t the kind of scream like when you’re scared this was something else; something that I never want to hear again.”
Immersed in the memory the wails of desolation once again assail your ears, the pitiful cries wrung from the broken shell of a man before you. “Why can’t you leave me alone?” You are able to discern those words from the rest, thinking at first that he is addressing you but you know in your heart the truth, that he is trying to converse with someone who is beyond the reach of his question.
For Michael though there does come a reply; silence, deadly vacuous silence. Why had she abandoned him? She’d been so real in the bar, when he’d kissed her he had felt her soft breath puff against his face, the way her hair had tickled his cheek, the warmth of her skin and the fire of her passion had all been real. But she’d left him evaporated like the mist at dawn and he only knew that he had to find her again. Those few seconds when she’d been in his arms his heart had started to beat again, he’d felt the ice in his veins recede as her fire rejuvenated him.
You are relieved by the quiet so welcome after the unholy sounds of mere seconds ago. Observing that Vaughn has gained enough control to slip back on his mask of indifference. The comfort provided by your thoughts is speedily rescinded by the torrent of words that fill the room. “I kissed her Eric she was right there at the bar. Did you see her? I have to find her, the ocean’s so dark at night, I can’t leave her in the dark. Can you bring her back? Find out why she left me?”
“Eventually he passed out and I managed to drag him back to the couch. I sat in the chair watching him the whole night, debating the ways in which I could help him, while part of me argued that I was his best friend so surely I could fix this, the other part knew the truth; knew that there was no way for me to mend him and I knew that if I tried I’d end up being pulled right down with him. I wouldn’t have been strong enough to get him out without losing myself to the same thing. So I made a decision to walk away from him, I stopped calling, visiting the whole lot. When he took his extended leave from the agency he disappeared from my life completely. But I don’t regret making that choice, you see watching him that night what I realised was that Vaughn didn’t need rescuing; not really because wherever he was he had you Sydney. He let go of everything else in his life except you. The rest of us never understood that but I get it now because I know that it was you that got him through those two years just like I know without a doubt that he’s what got you through the time that you were gone.”
Words fail her as this time she lets the tears flow unchecked, as sobs burn and choke her throat with trying to repress them. She had never considered that Vaughn could have reacted in such a way. She had assumed, foolishly it appeared that his grief would run a similar course to hers for Danny. As Weiss holds her close she feels intense sorrow for him, she would never have the memories of Vaughn’s pain and anguished grief. She would never have to watch him come apart as this man had been forced to stand by and observe.
“Thank you for telling me Eric, I needed to know.” As she brushes tears away with the backs of her hands she replays the scene in the conference room, the accusations she had slung at him and her parting comment all adding to the misery from what she had learnt. “How am I ever going to tell him how sorry I am?”
A previously invisible figure emerges out of the shadows, your gruff voice alludes to the tears that you have shed whilst listening to your friend relate events that you wished could be exorcised from your memory. The crushed figure nearest you calls to you begging you to forgive any wrongdoing and lose yourself in her fierce embrace without ever uttering a single word. “Shouldn’t you be asking me that?”
There’s something so exquisitely beautiful in her tears that you cannot help reaching for her. Taking her into your arms and comforting her, being her rock as much as she is yours. “Vaughn, oh God I’m so sorry for what I said to you, I didn’t know. Why didn’t you tell me?”
Forgiven is the pain she caused you and practically forgotten with the sensation of her being so close that mirth colours your voice as you reply. “You didn’t really give me the chance before you ran off.”
Weiss discreetly withdraws himself knowing that the couple need their privacy. Quietly he mumbles a prayer to whatever higher power is out there that there won’t be any more heartache for these two people that have already suffered enough to last a lifetime. With a wistful look back at his two friends wrapped up tightly in each other’s arms he knows indisputably that they will overcome whatever they have to face in the future because they have each other, because they have love and because there is nothing in existence stronger than that.
I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where.
I love you straightforwardly, without complexities or pride;
So I love you because I know no other way
Than this: where I does not exist, nor you,
So close that your hand on my chest is my hand,
So close that your eyes close as I fall asleep.
~TBC~
**The quotes in this chapter are taken from ‘Sonnet 17 (I do not love you…)’ by Pablo Neruda**
Hope you liked it
Icklebit aka Jady T
A/N: I hate dialogue yet the whole chapter is riddled with it, I apologise it wasn't meant to come out like that!! :angry:
syd_kicks_serious_ass
Angel, you've got wings baby
first?
syd_kicks_serious_ass
Angel, you've got wings baby
:thud:
:thud:
ok im completely at a loss for words. this is just.....amazing.
i know ive said it and cai has said it before but no words can describe how brilliant this fic is.
that chappie was.........amazing. Every single moment was heart-wrenching, every word emotive. the thing that impresses me the most is the way this incredible standard is sustained throughout the entire fic, thruout all chappies.
Beautiful use of Weiss's character. many do not give him such depth as you did, it showed that yes he is not just someone there purely for comic relief. He is a human being and not only did you show this but something more....you gave him this pure heart. All that stuff he did for Vaughn, everything he was telling Syd, it showed how geniune he was, how much he cared for his two friends and i just loved every minute of it. You write Wess's character with a depth that is so real.
Vaughn's back story, how he dealt (or didnt as the case was) with the loss of SYd was so emotive and sad. Every moment you wrote for him brought tears to my eyes. The way he was so lost, so confused, he'd lost his soul mate and couldn't go on without her. You conveyed so much of his views through his actions, how important Syd was to him.
and lastly Syd. She's so broken and i feel so sorry for her. I love the way you give her all these conflicting emotions, one minute shes angry the next she crying.
You're taking all the characters beyond what they are now, you're adding a new dimension,a new layer to their personalities and i think it's amazing.
wow. :thud:
thankyou, this fic is beautiful and has me hanging off every single word.
please update soon!
luv Rachxxx
:thud:
ok im completely at a loss for words. this is just.....amazing.
i know ive said it and cai has said it before but no words can describe how brilliant this fic is.
that chappie was.........amazing. Every single moment was heart-wrenching, every word emotive. the thing that impresses me the most is the way this incredible standard is sustained throughout the entire fic, thruout all chappies.
Beautiful use of Weiss's character. many do not give him such depth as you did, it showed that yes he is not just someone there purely for comic relief. He is a human being and not only did you show this but something more....you gave him this pure heart. All that stuff he did for Vaughn, everything he was telling Syd, it showed how geniune he was, how much he cared for his two friends and i just loved every minute of it. You write Wess's character with a depth that is so real.
Vaughn's back story, how he dealt (or didnt as the case was) with the loss of SYd was so emotive and sad. Every moment you wrote for him brought tears to my eyes. The way he was so lost, so confused, he'd lost his soul mate and couldn't go on without her. You conveyed so much of his views through his actions, how important Syd was to him.
and lastly Syd. She's so broken and i feel so sorry for her. I love the way you give her all these conflicting emotions, one minute shes angry the next she crying.
You're taking all the characters beyond what they are now, you're adding a new dimension,a new layer to their personalities and i think it's amazing.
wow. :thud:
thankyou, this fic is beautiful and has me hanging off every single word.
please update soon!
luv Rachxxx
LaurenRachael
Mommy, can I please have a snow plough?
WHERE THE FUDGE DO YOU GET ALL OF THIS TALENT?!
If this were a book, it'd be a freakin' bestseller. *nods* It's just one of those masterpieces that are worded just so, that makes your emotions like.. boil over. You seriously had me in tears 99% of that chapter. I've never read *anything* so.. powerful.
Do you KNOW how hard it is to form sentences after reading something so amazing as that?!
Can't.. get... thoughts.. written down...h34r:
I need moreeeee!!
Love it. I can't express that enough!
Lauren
P.S. I seriously think you get the best reviews on AA, which is like.. amazing because everyone usually writes "great chap PM me please. update soon" (which kind of pisses me off ) Take that as a VERY BIG compliment!
If this were a book, it'd be a freakin' bestseller. *nods* It's just one of those masterpieces that are worded just so, that makes your emotions like.. boil over. You seriously had me in tears 99% of that chapter. I've never read *anything* so.. powerful.
Do you KNOW how hard it is to form sentences after reading something so amazing as that?!
Can't.. get... thoughts.. written down...
h34r:I need moreeeee!!
Love it. I can't express that enough!
Lauren
P.S. I seriously think you get the best reviews on AA, which is like.. amazing because everyone usually writes "great chap PM me please. update soon" (which kind of pisses me off
) Take that as a VERY BIG compliment!vaughnsgurl4lf
Cadet
omg that was an amazing chapter
couldn't have written it better
great chap can't wait for more
really great fic i really enjoy reading it
couldn't have written it better
great chap can't wait for more
really great fic i really enjoy reading it
oh goodness... it was... bloody brilliant. i am really lost for words. really utterly lost for words. you write so so so so so well. i especially love how you presented eric's character as someone who is not just there as a clown or supporting actor or whatever... his character, personality, his speech... how you managed to describe how he felt when he saw vaughn so broken and didnt want saving nor rescuing from what he experienced when he lost sydney. how he cried even when he was just telling Sydney how Vaughn was. If i were Eric... i for one do not know what i would do. Honestly... i have no idea.
But what amazes me most is how you have described vaughn's grief over the loss of sydney. how you have detailed his depression, his -insanity-, how he talked to her, thought he was kissin g her, how sydney was his very life and when he lost her, he lost his life. he was just existing and not living. you used that line before. and the fact that you also added pablo neruda's work... it just adds more beauty to this chapter. Excellent: this is how i would describe this chapter.
MORE PEOPLE SHOULD BE READING THIS. Honestly, more people should. and with the dialogue, i for one was amazed how you inserted a dialogue because in the previous chapters, there was only a few. but now, even if there were a dialogue, you pulled it off really well. this are those days when you would just end up saying, DAMN. You would shake your head in amazement and you would sigh. And this is because you are utterly speechless. and I am speechless. and yet i have babbled this whole lot. My simple point is that...
EXCELLENT.
please keep me posted when you do update. Youre the best. definitely.
But what amazes me most is how you have described vaughn's grief over the loss of sydney. how you have detailed his depression, his -insanity-, how he talked to her, thought he was kissin g her, how sydney was his very life and when he lost her, he lost his life. he was just existing and not living. you used that line before. and the fact that you also added pablo neruda's work... it just adds more beauty to this chapter. Excellent: this is how i would describe this chapter.
MORE PEOPLE SHOULD BE READING THIS. Honestly, more people should. and with the dialogue, i for one was amazed how you inserted a dialogue because in the previous chapters, there was only a few. but now, even if there were a dialogue, you pulled it off really well. this are those days when you would just end up saying, DAMN. You would shake your head in amazement and you would sigh. And this is because you are utterly speechless. and I am speechless. and yet i have babbled this whole lot. My simple point is that...
EXCELLENT.
please keep me posted when you do update. Youre the best. definitely.
BrownEyedGirl
Cadet
that was sooo good
wow! that was so sad and yet so beautiful! Im sorry for all the ppl who havent have the chance to read this beatiful, amazing fic!
I love that u made their love even more powerful then the regular on screen s/v! I loved that he kissed lauren bcuz he thought it was syd. Its so beautiful and you write it so beautifuly! you have such a talent I hope you are using it as much as u can!
I love the quote, esp. since they had the same quote in "patch adams"
thanx the pm!
btw- what laurenrachel said, I think she is totally right! u get the best responds but u truely desrve it! I think we are specific kind of FF readers.
btw2- I loved the dialouge (and the chapter of course!) so I dont understnd why u didnt like it that way!
I love that u made their love even more powerful then the regular on screen s/v! I loved that he kissed lauren bcuz he thought it was syd. Its so beautiful and you write it so beautifuly! you have such a talent I hope you are using it as much as u can!
I love the quote, esp. since they had the same quote in "patch adams"
thanx the pm!
btw- what laurenrachel said, I think she is totally right! u get the best responds but u truely desrve it! I think we are specific kind of FF readers.
btw2- I loved the dialouge (and the chapter of course!) so I dont understnd why u didnt like it that way!
icklebit0711
Cadet
Ok so in light of all the amazing responses I have had I thought I would leave a message for you all to say thank you. I actually only started posting this fic last week so I realise the response I have had in that time has been phenomenal and I truly appreciate it.
I am working on chapter 5 at the moment so it will be posted at some point tomorrow, depending on when it gets finished everyone who has asked for a PM will recieve one as soon as I've posted.
Anyway again thank you for all the support, it's more than I ever expected. Oh and by the way I am just started to plan out a new story which I will post as soon as I can.
Thanks
Icklebit
I am working on chapter 5 at the moment so it will be posted at some point tomorrow, depending on when it gets finished everyone who has asked for a PM will recieve one as soon as I've posted.
Anyway again thank you for all the support, it's more than I ever expected. Oh and by the way I am just started to plan out a new story which I will post as soon as I can.
Thanks
Icklebit
LaurenRachael
Mommy, can I please have a snow plough?
:bounces:
icklebit0711
Cadet
my apprehensive face!!Disclaimer: Neither the characters or the poems are mine so please don’t sue, my mom and dad would hate to pay.
Dominion
Chapter 5
Of all the souls that stand create
I have elected one.
When sense from spirit flies away,
And subterfuge is done;
When that which is and that which was
Apart, intrinsic, stand,
And this brief tragedy of flesh
Is shifted like a sand;
When figures show their royal front
And mists are carved away,-
Behold the atom I preferred
To all the lists of clay!
The chill of the sea breeze forces you further into each other’s arms searching for a warmth that will drive away the cold for a few minutes more. Eventually you realise the ineffectiveness of your search and pull back from her just far enough so your foreheads can rest together. “How about we head beck to my place before we get hypothermia?” Able to spy the shock before she can hide it you are relieved when she grins and nods her head.
“We’ll have to stop by a store and get some groceries.” You are comforted by the normality of the statement and so apparently is Sydney as she melts further into your side releasing a giggle at the prospect of shopping with her boyfriend. Such a mundane task may not have the appeal to others that it holds for you and Sydney; but you have discovered that after the high octane adrenalin rushes that are part and parcel of your job there is a serenity to picking out which Ben and Jerry’s ice cream you should indulge yourself in.
“Vaughn wait, we need to talk about today.” While happy that the day has come to a better conclusion than she had imagined it would. There is a doubt that mars her cheerfulness and Eric’s words play over in her mind.
Regretfully you nod your assent, you had been planning to keep the past where it belonged or tell her the edited version one day when you thought she would be ready to hear it. But now she knows the truth and the fallout from what she had learned has to be dealt with promptly so he resigns himself and tells her; “I know we do Syd after dinner we’ll talk all you want.”
She is quiet on the journey watching the scenery as it passes by her window, you glance at her every few seconds to ascertain if she is all right. Not as unaware of your glances as she pretends to be she reaches for the hand resting on the gearshift and entwines your fingers. You sense that she wants to apologise but she stops herself, swallowing the words before they can escape.
When you reach your local grocery store Sydney immediately goes for a basket while you fish out change for a trolley. Seeing this she puts back the basket again giggling to herself as she returns to your side. “Why are you laughing? Has the cold addled your brain?”
A secret smile slowly spreads out from the corners of her mouth as she inquires; “how much are you planning on getting exactly?” Suspecting you know the reason for both the smile and the question you happily play along.
Appearing guileless you nonchalantly shrug your shoulders as you tell her. “Enough for a week I guess maybe more since they’ll be two of us.” Quickly turning away pretending to be preoccupied with the varieties of lettuce you hear her quick in take of breath as she figures out exactly what you have been insinuating.
The rest of the trip is enjoyable as you play rock, paper and scissors to decide what type of bread, cereal and more importantly which flavour of ice cream you should be getting. All of her choices now sit on your counters waiting to be unpacked, setting aside the ingredients you are going to need for dinner you store everything else away in the correct places whilst Sydney contentedly sits at the breakfast bar memorising everything for future reference.
You let her choose the wine since she so magnanimously offered to set the table, with the placing of two tapered candles that you didn’t even know you had she declares herself finished and returns to her perch. A taster of the sauce you are making is followed by a quick kiss which has the potential to turn passionate very swiftly until it is interrupted by a cell phone, confused since you had left yours at work you conclude that Jack must have given Sydney her new encrypted phone earlier.
“Be back in a minute.” Gracefully she hops down, running into the living room to dig the phone out of her bag. The screen proclaims that she has one new message; flicking through the menus in haste to get back to Vaughn and continue the kiss they had started the text when she reads it stops her dead. Two words swim before her vision condemning her to an action that she is loathed to take. Deleting the message she shoves the cell back into her bag; the inanimate object an outlet for the anger she feels at the ruining of another perfect moment in her messed up life. Reaching to the bottom of the bag she runs her fingers along the seam until she reaches the hole that she had dreaded being there. Carefully extracting a slim black case she stares in disbelief ‘Why did it have to be now?’ Of course she knows why had been told that this was the way it would all occur but she regarded that box as a herald announcing that her life would never be the same again.
“Syd it’s nearly ready.” Tears fall as she mentally prepares herself, vainly wishing that there were another way to accomplish her task. Sliding her nail under the catch the lid flips open revealing a vial and a syringe. Speedily removing both; the now useless case is cast aside as she prepares the needle then diligently checks for air bubbles.
Her feet drag as she journeys back to the kitchen, the syringe hidden behind her back, invisible to the man who it is meant for. Unaware he still stands at the stove checking the food before he prepares to serve it. Her heart breaks as she reflects on the day your happiness after the fight and Eric’s words seems destined to be short lived and she prayers that you will be able to forgive her in time for what she has to do, in her mind though not brave enough to speak the words aloud she tells him she loves him that she’s always loved him.
You are instantly aware of her return as she presses her body firmly into yours, pleased that she appears to want to rekindle for her cell disrupted. She artfully wraps one arm around your waist while the other sojourns north to play with the hairs at your neck. With gentle nips and kisses she coaxes your head to the side while her hand resting in your hair holds you captive, before you can register anything besides the lust which has fogged your mind a sharp pain in your neck sends you reeling.
Within seconds you are woozy as the room spins and tilts on its axis, you reach for Sydney who you think is before you although she appears disproportionately tall and her voiced is slurred like a movie played in slow motion. “I’m so sorry.” Fills your senses as everything fades to an all-encompassing black.
***
Groggily you become aware of a light piercing through your eyelids, not allowing its access you further squeeze your eyes shut. Your attempts prove to be futile as the light appears to be getting brighter despite your obvious protests. Deciding that the light is not going to wane you attempt to open your eyes giving in to the inevitable, heavy with the lingering remnants of sleep they are slow to lift and disclose your view of the world. Eventually you are able to process your surroundings, the light that was shining so determinedly in your face has been dimmed reducing the light so that the majority is submerged in murky shadow.
There must be an open window somewhere on your left you deduce as you feel a gentle wind wisp occasionally against your face. It carries the scent of the ocean, conveying a salty tang that dries on your lips when the wind recedes. Annoyed by the sting of the salt on your cracked lips and unable to provide any relief with your parched mouth; you bring your hand up to wipe away the briny residue or at least that is what you attempt to do. The heavy clang of steel meeting steel and the undulation of pain that travels through your arm alert you to your weakened position.
Repeating the procedure with your right arm and then both legs each time you are confronted with the same metallic tolling. Pinioned presumably by handcuffs at both hands and feet you are completely helpless. Convincing your neck to twist affords you visible proof of your predicament; four pairs of handcuffs hold you captive in what appears to be a hospital bed, but this is not hospital as you confinement suggests it is more of a prison.
“Here drink this, you’ve been out for a long time.” Sydney steps out of the shadow carrying a plastic cup and straw; vainly you try out the strength of your bonds trying to escape the woman approaching you. Setting the cup down she uses both hands to turn your face towards her. Although the fight is useless you pull harder and harder until you feel the metal tearing into the flesh at your wrists. Alarmed by your actions she runs a hand down your face to cup your jaw paying little attention to the revulsion that is unmistakable in your eyes; she continues to stroke her fingers against your stubble.
“Here, drink this.” When you show no signs of accepting the straw she signs then finds the cleft in your chine with her unoccupied hand. “It’s only water Michael I promise.” The cruel sneer that spreads across your face must hurt her for she momentarily falters in hr actions until her steely resolve takes over. “You need to drink this and I’m not going anywhere until you do.” Encouraged by her promise to leave you accept the straw into your mouth and cautiously begin to suck.
“There are things that I need to tell you, explanations that I need to give and apologies that I have to ask for but there are reasons for what I did Michael; I promise you.” The sincere pleading that fills her eyes causes you to soften turning your face into her hand. As her fingers travel the length of your neck she accidentally brushes over the raised puncture mark from the needle. Harshly pulling away from her as you remember what she did, that she was the cause of your precarious situation you turn away facing the wall. Her tormented voice when it reaches you is thick with tears that you wish you didn’t have to doubt the sincerity of. “I’m so sorry Michael but I had my orders to follow.”
The confusion that flares up like a beacon in you is almost enough to make you face her but you catch yourself at the last moment knowing that regardless of what she has done the sight of her tears will cut you to the bone. Instead you allow your anger free rein knowing that it will drive out all of the other emotions. You very nearly spit out the words; “orders? What orders Sydney?”
Reacting to your anger she raises her voice equally your fury with the self-recrimination of her guilt. “I can’t answer that.”
“Why the hell not?” You cannot prevent yourself from turning got her this time, desperate to get to the root cause of her deception. Looking directly into her eyes you witness a veritable miasma of emotions, one giving way to another before you can identify them but there are some that are easily recognisable no matter how fleeting their appearance may be, love is one chased out by sorrow and then fear. “Why can’t you tell me Sydney?”
Assured footsteps you would have heard had you not been so intently focused on Sydney echo off the concrete. A voice cuts through the silence halting whatever words were ready to tumble from Sydney who aware of the third person has become noiseless. The speaker remains hidden in the shadows that are now lurking at the foot of the bed. “She can’t tell you Michael but I can.”
“Dad?”
You left me, sweet, two legacies,-
A legacy of love
A Heavenly Father would content,
Had He the offer of;
You left me boundaries of pain
Capacious as the sea,
Between eternity and time,
Your consciousness and me.
~TBC~
**The quotes in this chapter are taken from ‘Choice’ and ‘Bequest’ both by Emily Dickinson**
A/N I know that came out of nowhere but everything will be explained in the next chapter I promise. I mean I couldn't just let them live happily ever after (well not yet anyway)
Icklebit
syd_kicks_serious_ass
Angel, you've got wings baby
first?
crrrap i gotta go read two cahppies! be back in a sec!
crrrap i gotta go read two cahppies! be back in a sec!
syd_kicks_serious_ass
Angel, you've got wings baby
:thud:
ok im sooooooooooo confuzzled! so so so so very confuzzled!
but OMG good confuzzled cos this is so intense and so amazing!
im seriously in love with this, its got this great rhythm to the writing that is inspiring.
i'ms orry this review does in now way do you justice, but this is amazing! and i'm loving every moment of it.
love the twist, its great and keeps us all on our toes!
PLEASE UPDATE SOON!
oh and i was wrong...i only had one chappie to read! yay!
LOVED THIS! it was amazing!
Holey guacamole...
Okay so here's the thing. I just read chapter four, after missing it, and since I feel like I can't move on until I've properly reviewed chapter four first, before reading and reviewing chapter five... I have to review for chapter four. :lol: So if you don't understand what the heck I'm talking about in this review... I'm reviewing chapter four, and haven't yet read chapter five
Lol I just confused the heebie jeebies out of myself, but here we go!
That chapter was just... Jeebus, I can't believe you thought I didn't like it just because I hadn't gotten the time to review! :lol: *pats Jady on the head* Silly billy... But you know when you get a pm for this update for a fic that is just INCREDIBLE beyond words, and you decide since a short review won't do it justice, you'll have to wait till a time when you have all the time in the world to babble on about how great it is and leave a review worth reading? Welps, this is one of those times! I just can't read it if I don't have the time to read it at an tremendously slow snail's pace to appreciate every word, and babble on and on in my review about how great it is...
This is one of those fics
And holey moley, NEVER in the history of... Well, reading, have I ever read anything so slow. Lol, so I'm not that quick of a reader anyway... Or in other words, I'm incredibly slow. But hey... I now read at a pace ten times slower for this fic, just so I can truly appreciate every single word, and how they're so perfectly arranged... Sounds kinda freakish, but dudey, if you had any clue about how amazing your writing is... You'd know realise what I'm talking about
Ooh, and one more thing I need to mention.
Well, before I rush off to read chapter five anyway, because I'm starting to get impatient with myself...
The dialogue in chapter four! I know what you mean when you say you hate dialogue... It feels like it's ruining the mood of the whole fic, doesn't it, when someone speaks? But gosh... You've used dialogue in a way that it flows so naturally with the rest of the fic, and it actually WORKS. Like... WOW. I LOVE how you use the dialogue in that chapter... Amazing. Don't have a clue why you didn't like it, but that doesn't matter, because I think it's positively amazing.
Anyway, Chapter Five, here I come!
Cai
x
Okay so here's the thing. I just read chapter four, after missing it, and since I feel like I can't move on until I've properly reviewed chapter four first, before reading and reviewing chapter five... I have to review for chapter four. :lol: So if you don't understand what the heck I'm talking about in this review... I'm reviewing chapter four, and haven't yet read chapter five
Lol I just confused the heebie jeebies out of myself, but here we go!
That chapter was just... Jeebus, I can't believe you thought I didn't like it just because I hadn't gotten the time to review! :lol: *pats Jady on the head* Silly billy... But you know when you get a pm for this update for a fic that is just INCREDIBLE beyond words, and you decide since a short review won't do it justice, you'll have to wait till a time when you have all the time in the world to babble on about how great it is and leave a review worth reading? Welps, this is one of those times! I just can't read it if I don't have the time to read it at an tremendously slow snail's pace to appreciate every word, and babble on and on in my review about how great it is...
This is one of those fics
And holey moley, NEVER in the history of... Well, reading, have I ever read anything so slow. Lol, so I'm not that quick of a reader anyway... Or in other words, I'm incredibly slow. But hey... I now read at a pace ten times slower for this fic, just so I can truly appreciate every single word, and how they're so perfectly arranged... Sounds kinda freakish, but dudey, if you had any clue about how amazing your writing is... You'd know realise what I'm talking about
Ooh, and one more thing I need to mention.
Well, before I rush off to read chapter five anyway, because I'm starting to get impatient with myself...
The dialogue in chapter four! I know what you mean when you say you hate dialogue... It feels like it's ruining the mood of the whole fic, doesn't it, when someone speaks? But gosh... You've used dialogue in a way that it flows so naturally with the rest of the fic, and it actually WORKS. Like... WOW. I LOVE how you use the dialogue in that chapter... Amazing. Don't have a clue why you didn't like it, but that doesn't matter, because I think it's positively amazing.
Anyway, Chapter Five, here I come!
Cai
x
now my question is, who was the one who said 'DAD' was it sydney or michael? if it were sydney, she was just talking to Jack who had answers. if it were michael, wow, what a twist you have!
but anyway, the way you have described vaughn's struggle with anger and his love for sydney, you, further elaborating this struggle within him, not wanting to see her tears, its amazing. how conflicted he was in still loving her, yet at the same time, being angered and detesting an act that could be characterized as betrayal in some ways.
what confuses me is that after she has learned the severity of his depression for the passed two years, all thanks to eric, she still obeyed the orders given to her by *someone*. Despite everything that they both had went through, even with the knowledge of how much he has loved her, she has managed to obey orders. i always wondered and thought that when it comes to each other, breaking protocols and orders were, without a question, their priority. these thoughts just added more curiousity... how long must we wait for the explanation...?
but lastly, i really love how you described sydney's struggle as well. amazing as always. which just leads me to wonder... again... how long... must we wait for the next instalment!
hehe, thank you very much for sharing your story with us. and please do PM me when that new story is up. thanks for the pm! i really enjoyed reading your wonderful story.
but anyway, the way you have described vaughn's struggle with anger and his love for sydney, you, further elaborating this struggle within him, not wanting to see her tears, its amazing. how conflicted he was in still loving her, yet at the same time, being angered and detesting an act that could be characterized as betrayal in some ways.
what confuses me is that after she has learned the severity of his depression for the passed two years, all thanks to eric, she still obeyed the orders given to her by *someone*. Despite everything that they both had went through, even with the knowledge of how much he has loved her, she has managed to obey orders. i always wondered and thought that when it comes to each other, breaking protocols and orders were, without a question, their priority. these thoughts just added more curiousity... how long must we wait for the explanation...?
but lastly, i really love how you described sydney's struggle as well. amazing as always. which just leads me to wonder... again... how long... must we wait for the next instalment!
hehe, thank you very much for sharing your story with us. and please do PM me when that new story is up. thanks for the pm! i really enjoyed reading your wonderful story.
