Author: Well, me.
Genre: Angst.
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: I own Alias, and I have a dog who can tap dance and say good morning in all existing languages. He spend our vacations ar Mars, with a family's friend.
Author's Note: You didn't expect me to post another fic that soon, did you? Thanks to neumy for beta'ing and easing my doubts regarding this fic.
*-*-*
Even In Death
give me a reason to believe that you're gone
I see you're shadow so I know they're all wrong
moonlight on the soft brown earth
it leaves me to where you lay
They want me to stop believing.
They thing I’m going mad.
I’m not.
Not now, not yet.
It’s funny, actually, that I’m not. I should be going mad, shouldn’t I?
We went to Venice today. We were going to get you.
You were not there.
It seems to me, tough, that there is a trail of smoke you leave, almost undetectable, lingering in the air, letting me know of your presence, letting me know you are waiting for me.
Are you?
She was staring off into space, her eyes distant, and devoid of any emotion. She seemed unreachable.
Jack hesitated once, twice. Slowly, he approached her, and put a hand over her shoulder. She didn’t turn. She continued to stare at the darkening sky, at the stars that slowly became visible as the blue overcame the pinkish sunset glow.
Sydney hated the day.
Sydney dreaded the night.
“You didn’t answer your phone.” Jack said, and his voice was softer than usual.
“I didn’t want to answer it.” Sydney replied simply.
“Sydney, you have to understand that-”
“We’ve met here once. Vaughn and I. I like it here. I’ve always did.”
“Sydney, please-”
“When I was a child, I used to come here, did you know that? No, you didn’t.” she answered to herself. “I came alone. It was my hiding place.”
Jack didn’t reply. He looked down, and then back at her.
“I’ll take you home.”
“I don’t want to go home.”
“Your friends will be worried.”
“They’ll be fine.”
She still wasn’t looking at him.
Jack swallowed down hard.
“It was not your fault that-”
“Daddy, please… Don’t say anything. Just… don’t.” Jack could see a tear slowly making its away down her face. Other than that, nothing gave away how she felt. “He’s not dead.” Sydney affirmed. “His body wasn’t found. He’s not dead.”
“It’s been three weeks.” He said.
“I wouldn’t care if that was three years. Until I see his body with my own eyes, he’ll be alive for me.”
Jack knew nothing he could say would help her. He walked away, and Sydney was left alone to stare at the sky.
Do you know why I don’t like the night? Because it’s when I think.
During the day, although your presence never leaves me, other things distract me from actually thinking about you.
I go to work, and I do what I’m told.
I get on automatic mode, and it makes me through the day.
But at night I’m alone.
At night there are no missions, no people, no distraction.
At night there’s only a void.
they took you away from me but now I'm taking you home
I will stay away forever here with you, my love
the softly spoken words you gave me
even in death our love goes on
I think I am going mad.
Am I?
Why am I not crying?
I should be crying, right?
I should be crying for your death.
What’s going on? Everyone’s talking to me. Why are they talking to me? I don’t want them to talk. Make them stop. You can make them stop.
Can you take my pain away?
I feel like I’m falling.
Will you hold me? Will you hold me if I fall?
Answer me.
Answer me.
You always could answer everything… answer me now.
All eyes were down.
All voices were hushed.
Agent Vaughn was dead.
Sydney knew what had happened before anyone spoke to her. Their silence was loud enough.
She didn’t react.
She didn’t know how to react.
“Sydney? Sydney?” Jack called, as Sydney slowly started to shake, convulsively, involuntarily, her eyes wide and full of shock, and pain.
She didn’t notice that she was crying. She didn’t notice that she was trembling.
Inside of her mind, an incessant voice repeated over and over that he was dead, and yet she couldn’t believe it. It was all too much like her dreams.
No, not dreams. Nightmares.
She didn’t have any more dreams.
They were all shattered the day Vaughn was taken away from her, to never return.
She felt like she was falling, but she wouldn’t meet the ground.
Strong arms were holding her, but she was still falling.
She would fall forever.
Vaughn was dead.
And so was she.
I guess I should stop believing now.
…
I never said I loved you.
We were together, maybe not for a long time, but for time enough.
And I never said I loved you.
No, not enough. The time we spent together will never be enough, because I know we had a lifetime ahead of us.
I wish the world would stop spinning.
I can’t think.
Maybe it’s better that way.
You’re dead.
There’s nothing else to be thought.
some say I'm crazy for my love, oh my love
but no bonds can hold me from your side, oh my love
they don't know you can't leave me
they don't hear you singing to me
and I can't love you anymore than I do.
How long now? Five weeks? Five months? Five years?
The days seem to carry on forever, but time seems not to have passed at all.
You died yesterday.
You died one hour ago.
I think I’m dieing now.
It was a day like any other for the rest of the world.
It was a day of desperation and pain for Jack Bristow and Irina Derevko. They had lost their little girl.
It was a day of grieving for Will Tippin. He had lost his best friend.
It was a day of sadness for the CIA agency. They had lost their best asset.
It was a day of sorrow for many. They had lost a hero.
It was a day of peacefulness for Sydney Bristow. She had found her love.
It’s funny… I got used to the pain… the sharp edges of it, and the numbness that it causes.
I won’t feel any pain anymore.
Am I going to Heaven?
Am I going to Hell?
I don’t care.
I’m going to you.
I need to find you, because I need to say it.
I need to say I love you.
Wait for me.
We’ll be together now, love.
“Sydney died to find peace. The peace she had been yearning for since a very young age. She found that peace once, even if not on its fullness. But it was taken away from her, like most things that mattered to her. Sydney didn’t have a mother. And as much as it pains me to say, Sydney didn’t have a father. She found love on a man, it he was killed. My daughter was dead a long time ago. She died when he did.”
He took a deep breath, and fought back the knot on this throat.
“I can only hope that my daughter found in death what she couldn’t find in life. I hope that, wherever she is, she’s happy, complete, and smiling. Amen.”
------- Even in Death, by Evanescence
Genre: Angst.
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: I own Alias, and I have a dog who can tap dance and say good morning in all existing languages. He spend our vacations ar Mars, with a family's friend.
Author's Note: You didn't expect me to post another fic that soon, did you?
Thanks to neumy for beta'ing and easing my doubts regarding this fic. *-*-*
Even In Death
give me a reason to believe that you're gone
I see you're shadow so I know they're all wrong
moonlight on the soft brown earth
it leaves me to where you lay
They want me to stop believing.
They thing I’m going mad.
I’m not.
Not now, not yet.
It’s funny, actually, that I’m not. I should be going mad, shouldn’t I?
We went to Venice today. We were going to get you.
You were not there.
It seems to me, tough, that there is a trail of smoke you leave, almost undetectable, lingering in the air, letting me know of your presence, letting me know you are waiting for me.
Are you?
She was staring off into space, her eyes distant, and devoid of any emotion. She seemed unreachable.
Jack hesitated once, twice. Slowly, he approached her, and put a hand over her shoulder. She didn’t turn. She continued to stare at the darkening sky, at the stars that slowly became visible as the blue overcame the pinkish sunset glow.
Sydney hated the day.
Sydney dreaded the night.
“You didn’t answer your phone.” Jack said, and his voice was softer than usual.
“I didn’t want to answer it.” Sydney replied simply.
“Sydney, you have to understand that-”
“We’ve met here once. Vaughn and I. I like it here. I’ve always did.”
“Sydney, please-”
“When I was a child, I used to come here, did you know that? No, you didn’t.” she answered to herself. “I came alone. It was my hiding place.”
Jack didn’t reply. He looked down, and then back at her.
“I’ll take you home.”
“I don’t want to go home.”
“Your friends will be worried.”
“They’ll be fine.”
She still wasn’t looking at him.
Jack swallowed down hard.
“It was not your fault that-”
“Daddy, please… Don’t say anything. Just… don’t.” Jack could see a tear slowly making its away down her face. Other than that, nothing gave away how she felt. “He’s not dead.” Sydney affirmed. “His body wasn’t found. He’s not dead.”
“It’s been three weeks.” He said.
“I wouldn’t care if that was three years. Until I see his body with my own eyes, he’ll be alive for me.”
Jack knew nothing he could say would help her. He walked away, and Sydney was left alone to stare at the sky.
Do you know why I don’t like the night? Because it’s when I think.
During the day, although your presence never leaves me, other things distract me from actually thinking about you.
I go to work, and I do what I’m told.
I get on automatic mode, and it makes me through the day.
But at night I’m alone.
At night there are no missions, no people, no distraction.
At night there’s only a void.
they took you away from me but now I'm taking you home
I will stay away forever here with you, my love
the softly spoken words you gave me
even in death our love goes on
I think I am going mad.
Am I?
Why am I not crying?
I should be crying, right?
I should be crying for your death.
What’s going on? Everyone’s talking to me. Why are they talking to me? I don’t want them to talk. Make them stop. You can make them stop.
Can you take my pain away?
I feel like I’m falling.
Will you hold me? Will you hold me if I fall?
Answer me.
Answer me.
You always could answer everything… answer me now.
All eyes were down.
All voices were hushed.
Agent Vaughn was dead.
Sydney knew what had happened before anyone spoke to her. Their silence was loud enough.
She didn’t react.
She didn’t know how to react.
“Sydney? Sydney?” Jack called, as Sydney slowly started to shake, convulsively, involuntarily, her eyes wide and full of shock, and pain.
She didn’t notice that she was crying. She didn’t notice that she was trembling.
Inside of her mind, an incessant voice repeated over and over that he was dead, and yet she couldn’t believe it. It was all too much like her dreams.
No, not dreams. Nightmares.
She didn’t have any more dreams.
They were all shattered the day Vaughn was taken away from her, to never return.
She felt like she was falling, but she wouldn’t meet the ground.
Strong arms were holding her, but she was still falling.
She would fall forever.
Vaughn was dead.
And so was she.
I guess I should stop believing now.
…
I never said I loved you.
We were together, maybe not for a long time, but for time enough.
And I never said I loved you.
No, not enough. The time we spent together will never be enough, because I know we had a lifetime ahead of us.
I wish the world would stop spinning.
I can’t think.
Maybe it’s better that way.
You’re dead.
There’s nothing else to be thought.
some say I'm crazy for my love, oh my love
but no bonds can hold me from your side, oh my love
they don't know you can't leave me
they don't hear you singing to me
and I can't love you anymore than I do.
How long now? Five weeks? Five months? Five years?
The days seem to carry on forever, but time seems not to have passed at all.
You died yesterday.
You died one hour ago.
I think I’m dieing now.
It was a day like any other for the rest of the world.
It was a day of desperation and pain for Jack Bristow and Irina Derevko. They had lost their little girl.
It was a day of grieving for Will Tippin. He had lost his best friend.
It was a day of sadness for the CIA agency. They had lost their best asset.
It was a day of sorrow for many. They had lost a hero.
It was a day of peacefulness for Sydney Bristow. She had found her love.
It’s funny… I got used to the pain… the sharp edges of it, and the numbness that it causes.
I won’t feel any pain anymore.
Am I going to Heaven?
Am I going to Hell?
I don’t care.
I’m going to you.
I need to find you, because I need to say it.
I need to say I love you.
Wait for me.
We’ll be together now, love.
“Sydney died to find peace. The peace she had been yearning for since a very young age. She found that peace once, even if not on its fullness. But it was taken away from her, like most things that mattered to her. Sydney didn’t have a mother. And as much as it pains me to say, Sydney didn’t have a father. She found love on a man, it he was killed. My daughter was dead a long time ago. She died when he did.”
He took a deep breath, and fought back the knot on this throat.
“I can only hope that my daughter found in death what she couldn’t find in life. I hope that, wherever she is, she’s happy, complete, and smiling. Amen.”
------- Even in Death, by Evanescence
sadness...
wow...that was amazing, I'm in tears! 