Far Too Long


Feb 20, 2005
ok, time for a new fic :D

Author: me (obviously :P)
Rating: PG-13
Pairing: S/V (of course)

a big thank you to Sierra for betaing it :hug:

Chapter 1

She watched him leave. Like every time when they met, all she could do was watch him leave through that door, wishing she could do something to change his mind. To finally make him stay with her forever.

Every time he said that he loved only her. Every time she believed him.


That was a question she asked herself often. That was a question she didn’t know the answer to. She had tried to end it. He could always convince her not to. She knew it was wrong but she couldn’t help it. She loved him and no matter what she did she couldn’t change it.

Sighing, she let herself fall back on the bed, waiting for the apartment door to shut. She knew she couldn’t stop him, but she also couldn’t watch him leave her apartment. So she usually waited in her bedroom until she was certain that he was gone.

Slowly she got up and walked into the kitchen, making herself some coffee. It was late but she wouldn’t be able to sleep anyway, so why not drink some? It was the same as always. She would lay awake, thinking about her situation and how exactly she had ended up in it.

After finishing her coffee, she stepped into the shower. What she did was wrong, making her feel dirty and though she knew a shower wouldn’t make it better, it became routine.

They met. Then he left. She drank her coffee or whatever she felt like. And then she showered, wanting to feel better about what she did. She would go to bed and usually sleep wouldn’t come for hours.

This time wasn’t any different. Her thoughts were racing. Reason told her she had to stop it, that she would be the one getting hurt in the end. Her heart was saying she couldn’t break up with him, no matter what. She loved him and she hated herself for that.

As always she would open up the door again in two days. As always she would let him in. And as always she would hate herself for it.


Finally morning came around after hours of restless tossing in bed, before falling into a sleep far away from peaceful.

Groaning, she opened her eyes, feeling a headache forming. That would be a hell of a day. Not that she was expecting it to be any less. At least she didn’t have to see him today. She was glad that she didn’t work with him. That would make it even worse.

She couldn’t imagine working with him, pretending nothing was going on between them. That had been the reason she had changes workplaces two years ago.

She got herself a cup of coffee and then got ready to leave for work.


“Wow, you really look like felgercarb.” Nadia greeted her when she arrived at the hospital.

“Thanks a lot.” Sydney said slightly annoyed and rolled her eyes. She knew how she looked, no need to remind her of that.

“You spent the night with him again, right?” Nadia asked, looking at her knowingly.

Nadia was the only one who knew about him. She was also Sydney’s best friend, someone she could rely on and always listened to her ranting.

“Not the night.” Sydney reminded her, sighing deeply.

“Right. Why do you always go back to him?” Nadia tried hard to keep the anger out of her voice.

Sydney knew exactly what Nadia was thinking of the situation and that she wasn’t approving of it. But thankfully, she wasn’t judging her. That was the one thing Sydney had been afraid of when she had told her about him. Nadia just didn’t want her to get hurt. And Sydney knew that it was going to happen in the end.

“I don’t know.” Sydney said quietly, changing her clothes, “I know I shouldn’t but I can’t help him. I love him, no matter how wrong it is. And maybe some day….” Her voice trailed off.

“Syd, what you are hoping for is never going to happen, you know it.” Nadia said, trying once again to finally make Sydney end it with him, “He even told you himself.”

“This is so messed up.” Sydney said frustrated, brushing a strand of hair behind her ear.

“You have to end it.” Nadia said with certainty.

“I can’t.” Sydney said sadly, gazing to the door. She wished their conversation would end. At the moment she didn’t want to think about it. Honestly, she never wanted to think about it because she always came to the same result. One she didn’t want.

Luckily her pager went off and Sydney excused herself, going to work. It was her only way to stop thinking about the mess her life was.

you know what you have to do now... review :angelic:


Dec 28, 2003
Is Sydney having an affair with a married man? Seriously Sydney that's not good...

It seems like whatever she's doing is really weighing on her...But she needs to put a stop to it if she wants to feel better.

AS always Mary you have hooked me on your story. :)

Can't wait for the next chapter...lol
Mar 28, 2005
United Kingdom, London
oooooooooo bad girl sydney ... bad bad girl!!!

you go nadia!!!!!! good girl nadia good good girl :P

i wonder who the man is.. is it Vaughn or is it Sark or Will of Jullian or osmeone totally different * thinks really hard*

nope can't work it out ur just gonna have to update asap and put me outta my misery!!!

thankx for the pm

update soon !!!!!


Mar 23, 2004
Sydney is in a no-win situation. She's locked in an affair where the one who's really going to be hurt, is her. And as long as Sydney is willing to put out for the louse, he's going to continue to use her.

Thanks for the PM, I think it's going to be a great fic.

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