Fool's Paradise

first!
yay!
and no!
i got tears in my eyes in the last bit
he can't be transferring!
no!
syd has to stop him!
does weiss know? he could talk him out of it
and he didn't even say goodbye properly
and tomorrow?
DUDE!
what a bombshell!
awesome chapter though. thanks for the pm, and keep up the amazing writing!

JuJu :harp:
 
Another great chapter!! I loved it! But so sad. I hope Vaughn isn't really going to leave!
Thanks for the PM! I cant wait for more! Update soon!
 
What???
What is happening/??
He cannot transfer!! Syd must go after him and freaking make him realize that his life IS NOT over and the only thing that is making syd sad is the WAY HE"S ACTING!!
Great chap. Thanks for pm
Becky
 
Thanks to everyone who reviewed and thanks to everyone that still reads this. Much appreciated :smiley: I didn't think I had enough to write more than a one-parter but I apparently I do :lol:

Hope you enjoy! ^_^


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Chapter Four
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Slamming the door out of frustration I refrain from crumpling into a worthless heap on the floor of the foyer. The drive home was torturous as the crushed look on Sydney’s face was and still is fresh in my mind; the pained look in her eyes permanently etched in my memory. My lower lip trembles as I attempt to steady my chaotic breathing associated with an impending outbreak of tears. I steal a glance of my reflection in the mirror I had shattered the day before and draw strength from the conviction that I had made the right decision. The glow in my eyes have faded to a lone flickering light struggling to ward off the surrounding darkness – how can I be anything to anyone when I look so hollow?

Despite the deep ache in my heart longing for something…someone…the deep exhale evolving into heavy sigh personifies my acceptance of the situation; the way things have to be. Love does not exist without hurt but the equilibrium has shifted because I have definitely been experiencing far too much of the hurt.

The emptiness of my soul returns full strength and my determination reminds me its time to let go and move on. However, I should have anticipated this was never to going to be an easy task as I hear someone softly knocking on the front door. I already suspect who stands beyond the threshold as my stomach lurches and my heartbeat rapidly increases. Again, the person knocks but this time there is a sense of urgency and I reluctantly turn the doorknob.

“Hey.”

Sydney’s greeting is almost lost in the whirling wind of the frigid night. I watch as she dips her head and compacts her body in an attempt to preserve body heat that her rather thin coat is failing to do. She opens her mouth to say more but I step aside allowing her to enter.

“Your new place is nice.” We both know her small talk is to ease the tension that is saturating the atmosphere and weighing down on both of our shoulders. I do not pay her the courtesy of a first-time visitor and leave her comment unaccompanied by the standard phrase of gratitude. She casts a glance at the debris from the shattered mirror decorating the floor. Her eyebrows arch in disbelief, but before she can enquire, I cut her off.

“Why are you here?” The hostility radiates off me in waves.

“Why do you think I’m here?” She counters quickly and her hostility clashes with mine; they struggle to gain control but it is in vain. I carefully watch her shift her weight so she can straighten her posture to reflect her confidence and control of the situation but I am unfazed as the nothingness vacating my being holds up against her.

“Are you going to tell me why you’re leaving?” I almost scoff at her superfluous question, as she already knows the answer but I control the impulse to express a tinge of emotion; the hint of annoyance is captured by the black hole existing inside me before it can reveal itself. I can read her like a well-worn book tattered due to countless readings and continue playing the game.

“Why do you think I’m leaving?”

She becomes flustered; her temper is evident as she clenches her jaw and her hands curl into tight fists while her anger paints her eyes a darker shade of brown – a hue that I am unfamiliar with. Her frustration simmers beneath her placid exterior as she remains silent, but her glare is as sharp as daggers and even in my state of indifference I know never to push a Bristow too close to the precipice. So, I answer the only way I know how to – honestly.

“I’ve had the best moments of my life here, but I’ve also had the worst.” I remain nonchalant. “There’s nothing left for me here.”

“That explains why you’re leaving L.A.” She states and the tension making every muscle in her body taut does not ease. “So, why are you leaving me?”

I am caught off guard by her question and it leaves me a little stunned, however, I quickly recover and hope she did not see the emotion flicker behind my eyes; see the darkness succumb to the light; see the tumultuous ocean slightly still.

“I left you a long time ago.”

“That was then, this is now. Why are you giving up everything we have here?”

”What we have here are years of betrayal, more years of deceit, a mountain of unresolved issues and let’s not forget that I willingly left you and married the woman who was involved in your disappearance.”

“We’ve been through this. All of it…it’s in the past. ”

“Why did it have to happen it all? It’s killing me that it even occurred in the first place. If only I didn’t have that debrief, if only I walked inside with you, things could be different…things would be different. Is everything really in the past if you cry yourself to sleep every night because of it?”

Emotions begin to bubble beneath my placid exterior, but I remain composed not allowing the emotions to boil over.

“Vaughn…” Sydney voice breaks slightly but she perseveres. “You have to stop punishing yourself over something you had no control over.”

“I hate to even contemplate what you’ve been through…what you’re going through. I hate that ever since you returned you’ve had no one. But what I hate the most is myself…that somehow I did this to you…I caused your pain.”

“No, you didn’t.”

I look at her pointedly, not believing her words. “Do you really believe that? I know I hurt you, that’s why I’m leaving.”

“I can take care of myself. I know what I need and want in my life, you don’t need to make those kind of decisions for me.”

Silence.

I hang my head in shame knowing full well that Sydney is right but it is still not enough to change my decision or feeling of guilt. “Despite that I’m still unworthy because all I seem to do is cause you pain. I’m the source of your greatest sadness.”

“But you’re also the source of my greatest happiness.”

I hesitate. The pause is only for a few contemplative seconds but it drags on for a few lifetimes before my lips part allowing syllables to become airborne which link together to form a chain of words that finally construct a poignantly honest question.

“Is it worth it?”

The words that have tumbled out of my mouth hang heavily in the space separating us. No words are spoken, enough has been said, and so we stand dejectedly in the moonlit room letting it cast a melancholy aura on two dejected souls wanting to selflessly help each other before helping themselves. The strong wind howls in the chilly night causing tree branches to rhythmically sway in unison. The sounds from outside slowly permeate the walls of the house, slicing the silence but still nothing is said between Sydney and I as we both carefully weigh the situation before us.

With enough been said, Sydney prepares to leave but I do not move to bid her farewell, as my mind is numb from the myriad of emotions weaving through the deserted landscape of my body, bringing life-sustaining water to the dehydrated barren region of my heart.

Before the door shuts behind her retreating form a faint “Yes” escapes her lips, echoing throughout the bare apartment and ricocheting off the blank walls to finally reach me to reverberate in my once hollowed form. But before I can digest the ramifications of her answer the door is already silent as it rests obediently in its frame and she has walked out of my life.


------------------------------------------------


Sand fills my shoes as I lazily meander the beach with only the lights emanating from the nearby pier lighting a path for me. I listen to the wind whistling in my ear and the waves periodically crashing on the shore before retreating into the endless ocean, which looks a vast black hole at night.

I silently curse myself for my indifference; for thinking that was the solution for the overwhelming pain. I was too late to realise that the solution was right in front of me the entire time...Sydney. The people I care about the most have been supporting me in this dark time of my life and I have shunned them. I did not even give them the courtesy of honesty. I did not tell them that all of this has been ebbing my soul into mere non-existence.

Casually, I cast a gaze at the horizon; its promise of tomorrow evident with the hint of a faint orange glow infiltrating the darkness. Not aware of how long I had been staring at the horizon I sense a figure approaching from behind. My gaze does not waver as I can tell who the figure is from their build and determined gait.

“Jack.” I state to the night sky.

Jack stands to my left and turns to watch the horizon as well. We stand there for several moments as I wait for him to say something but he remains silent. Puzzlement floods my mind as I give a quick sideway glance at Jack who seems content observing the everyday miracle of a sunrise. “What are you doing here?”

“You know why.” Jack answers coolly, not bothering to shift his gaze.

“Final goodbye?”

“Hardly.”

I pull my eyes away from the horizon, which is growing brighter by the minute to stare at Jack, silently demanding for him to elaborate. This conversation will be interesting…I silently mutter. Especially since we only have one thing in common.

“If you think…”

“It doesn’t matter what I think.” Jack interrupts.

“Then it’s pointless for you to be here.”

“Do you have the same attitude with Sydney?”

I struggle to answer Jack’s question so I return my gaze back to the horizon where the sun is beginning to peek over the edge, preparing to awaken the world.

“It’s complicated.” I weakly respond.

“And you expected something else?”

“I want what’s best for Sydney.”

“So do I.” Jack states honestly as shine from the early morning sun lights his face in a muted arrangement of yellow and orange. “That’s why I’m here.”

The waves crash on the shore as I soak in Jack’s words. I feel like I have ruined every opportunity to rebuild my life and, in the process, rebuild my relationship with Sydney. Every touching gesture she has shown has been brushed off by my apathy and selfishness.

“I’ve dealt with this in the wrong way.” I state sadly – the first hint of true emotion.

“It doesn’t mean all is lost.”

I silently berate myself for my past actions not only towards Sydney but also to everyone. I believed I had nothing left to lose after Lauren’s betrayal, but I have been proven many times that I was wrong. But now Jack stands next to me, witnessing the birth of a new day, telling me that it’s not too late. It’s not too late to start living again.

The sun is now glistening brightly over the horizon as the starry night retreats for slumber. I welcome the sun’s light and warmth as it defrosts my ice-bitten body wrapped in nothing more than clothing suitable for autumn. Jack detects the tension slowly flowing away from my body and retrieves an envelope from the left breast pocket of his overcoat. Reflexively, I look at the envelope that Jack is idly holding in his hand and accept it when he offers it to me.

“That is for your eyes only.” Jack dictates. “I hope you adhere to that condition.”

“What’s in here?” I enquire as I curiously turn the envelope over repeatedly letting the sun’s rays touch every inch of it.

“Closure.”

Befuddled by Jack’s cryptic response I hope to get a more detailed description that is longer than a word but all I see is his retreating form trudging through the sand with the waves lapping at his feet.


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TBC....

Thanks for reading! :smiley:

Sorry about the angst. I swear that's the only thing I can write. Bad habit of mine :lol: But there will be fluff soon enough ;) Wonder what's in the envelope... :P


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I'm 1st! I'm 1st! I'm 1st!!! :jump: lolz

“I want what’s best for Sydney.”

“So do I.” Jack states honestly as shine from the early morning sun lights his face in a muted arrangement of yellow and orange. “That’s why I’m here.”

Good 'Ol SpyDaddy :D

Great update

Aly xx :angelnot:
 
OKay...you need to come back, and give us more....you can't leave it there!!! What's in the envelope?? Is Vaughn going to get a clue and stay?? OHHH!!! I neeed more!!! Great update. I really liked the convo with each of the Bristows....wow!!! So please come back soon with some more for us!!! I absolutely loved it!!!
:love: Shelz
 
waaaa? WOAH is it just me or was that a cliffy? :hmmm: bah! damn you!!!! Now i don't even have time to give a proper review. but just thought I'd let you know that I've read the chapter, and I will (remind me) to give you a proper review, so now i must go do my homework so that I can watch Alias on Wednesday in peace. :P
--Mandy :angelic:
 
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