Dec 10, 2004
Germany, Munich
Summary: This story is mostly about Irina and Nadia and completeley Alternative Universe. Irina finds Nadia after six years again in an orphanage in Buenos Aires and makes a decision which changes Nadia's life forever.

Disclaimer: I do not own Alias or its characters. There are all property of J.J. Abrams, ABC and Buena Vista. I don't plan to make money with this story.

A/N: I decided to write this story, because I found the plot very interesting to write. I hope you guys like it. Please, let me know what you think. That would be nice. :)

Prague, 1988

„Irina! Irina!“

Irina Derevko looked up from what she did and in her sister’s face. “Katya” she replied. The former KGB-Agent seemed tired and absolutely uninterested.

But her sister ignored Irina’s behaviour as if she didn’t recognise it, though she had. Katya was excited like a little child before Christmas, Irina thought. It was weird: How could she thinking about Christmas? It wasn’t nearly Christmas. It was summer, though it was cold in Prague.

“I think we found her. I think we found your second daughter!” Katya exclaimed as she watched her sister’s reaction.

To her surprise, Irina was upset. She raised an eyebrow. “Katya, we talked about this! We agreed to stop searching for her. It’s useless. We followed every lead in the last six years and we haven’t found anything.” Irina stood up and left her room, followed by Katya who wasn’t ready to give up so soon.

“Well, you said, you don’t want continue looking for her. I never stopped. She’s my niece and she deserves her mother to be around. You already lost Sy – “

“Don’t say her name!” The former KGB-Agent interrupted her sister angry, but behind her façade, Katya saw how much it still hurt her sister to remember she left Jack and Sydney. They were also a part of her family which she had to leave in order to keep them save.
Katya couldn’t imagine how it must be for her sister. But this was a reason more for Katya not to stop looking for her other niece. Irina lost Sydney, but finding her other daughter might be able to help to ease the pain a little.

“I’m sorry” Katya sighed.

Her sister nodded, but she also felt guilty. It wasn’t fair being so hard to her sister, she just wanted to help. “I’m sorry, I screamed at you.” Irina smiled a little while she stepped closer to her. “Tell me, what you found out.”

Katya raised an eyebrow. “Sure, you still want to know?”

Her sister only replied a nod. So Katya handed her a brown envelope. Her sister frowned and opened it. It had photos from a little, beautiful girl in it with black hair and dark eyes. “She lives in an orphanage near Buenos Aires. Her name is Nadia.” Katya explained. Irina couldn’t take away her eyes from that picture.

“Nadia” she repeated quietly. Irina wasn’t even sure if her sister had heard her. Finally she looked back at her sister who still worked for Russian Intelligence. “That proves nothing!”

Katya smiled mysteriously. “I sent one of your men in to run a DNA-Test on her. It was positive. She’s your long lost daughter.”

Irina’s eyes dilated. “Then I suggest we get her back.” Katya was relieved to see the old fire back in her sister’s eyes. She wasn’t wrong that Nadia would help Irina to deal with her loss of Sydney and Jack.



Irina watched the orphanage from outside. She saw Nadia who played with two other girls. The former KGB-Agent smiled. Her daughter was really beautiful. Indeed.

It was hard for her to say after this short time she saw her daughter again if she was happy or not. Irina couldn’t imagine her daughter was at this place without a mother and a father, only to live for the hope that one day a family picks her.

It seemed as if the spoken languages in that orphanage were English and Spanish, though Irina wished her daughter would’ve learned Russian. She smiled. She would teach her. Now they had all time in the world.

The former KGB-Agent went inside and directly in the director’s office. He seemed very sympathetic. Irina smiled at him.
First the secretary didn’t want to let her speak with him, but the director finally convinced her to let Irina in his office.

“Excuse my secretary. It has been a rough day and I spent most of my time talking to reporters. It’s sad, but it’s the truth, most people don’t come to adopt one of these kids, they only want to talk about how much money the orphanage costs.”

The explanation was friendly, but really didn’t interest Irina. “You’re very friendly, but I’m here to talk about one of the kids. One of your girls to be exact.”
“Really?” he asked happy and very interested. “You want adopt a child?”

“No. I’m just taking her with me. She’s my daughter, I’m here mother. I want her to live with me. Her name is Nadia.”

The expression on his face changed. It almost seemed as if he was sad which worried Irina. She expected he let her just go with Nadia. “We found a family for Nadia and they will be here in a few hours. Researching if you’re really Nadia’s mother could take months.”

“But I have a DNA-Test!” Irina told him.

“Yes and how did you run it without taking the girl to a doctor?” The director wanted to know. Irina bit her lip. She couldn’t tell him that Katya sent one agent in to get Nadia’s DNA.

“I’m going now. With the girl” Irina firmly told him and before he could reply, she shot him with a tranquilizer she hid under her jacket. The former KGB-Agent was prepared for the opportunity, that it could be hard taking Nadia away from here.

She left the office, passed the secretary’s office. Finally she was in the playing-room. “What are you doing here?! You don’t work here…” the governess exclaimed angry. Irina saw Nadia who watched her in surprise. The brown hair woman stopped the woman by shooting her the tranquilizer in the neck. She felt to the ground. Some kids were screaming.
Irina reached for her daughter and knelt down by her side. “You killed her!” the little girl cried.

“No! She’s just sleeping. I’m sorry you had to see that. Nadia, you have to come with me, okay? You have to trust me. I’m your mother.”

Nadia looked puzzled. “But I thought I have a mommy now.”

Irina smiled lovingly at her. Nadia was really clever, definitely her daughter. “Sweetheart, I’m your real mommy. That’s why I know your name. I’m going to take you with me. Okay?” With these words Irina picked her up and carried her outside.

“No! Don’t take Nadia away.” One of the other little girls cried as she realized that woman was about to take her friend away.

Irina ignored her. She just knew she had to calm her little girl who must be scared to death.
“You’re going to be okay, honey” She whispered in her daughter’s ear while she stroked Nadia’s hair, to keep her calm. “Katya, I got her. Meet me with the car on the front door.”

“On my way” her sister replied and started the car. She parked near the orphanage, so Irina, Nadia and Katya could escape quickly.


They were at a non-public airport. Nadia yawned. Irina had given her a mild sedative, so her daughter could sleep. Maybe she would wake up when they already were in the plane. The little girl lied in her mother’s arms, which rocked her gently.

“I have a plane waiting to take you both back to Prague.” Katya hesitated and then added carefully: “Are you sure, you don’t want me to come with you?” She spoke in a low tone, because she didn’t want to wake her niece who finally felt asleep in Irina’s arms.

“No. You have already done so much. Your superiors could start get suspicious. We will be fine.” Irina looked down at her little girl and smiled happy. Actually the last time she was that happy was when she last saw Sydney. But remembering Sydney also made her sad. It reminded her on what she left behind.

Katya nodded. Irina knew her sister’s door was always open. That had to be enough for now. “She’s pretty beautiful!” Katya smiled.

Irina looked at her sister and then smiled down at Nadia. “She is…..perfect!”

Their flight was invoked. “I’m going to carry her. I don’t wanna wake her up, by no means” Irina looked down at her little girl. “She needs some rest.”

“Okay. Promise me, to call if you ever need my help.” Katya stood up to hug her sister tightly, but at the same she was careful not to wake Nadia. “Goodbye sweetheart. Your aunt will miss you very much.” Gently she placed a kiss on Nadia’s forehead then she watched them leave.

None of them noticed the man in the shadow who also watched Irina leaving the airport with her sleeping daughter in her arms.



Dec 10, 2004
Germany, Munich
Thanks for your reply, Amanda! I really apprecciate that. :flowers:

So here's the next chapter. I hope you like it. Replies would be great. :)

“No…” Nadia murmured. Irina looked up from what she was reading. The co-pilot asked Irina if her daughter needed anything and she replied that she’d take care of her. “No!” Her daughter talked in her sleep again.

Irina reached for her and gently stroked her hair. “Shhh…Sweetheart, you are safe. Mommy is here.” Finally Nadia woke up. She seemed really scared, almost in panic. Irina pulled her into a tight hug and rocked her gently. “It’s okay, honey. Mommy is here. You’re out of harm. I’m sorry, I scared you.” Nadia shivered a little, but soon became calm, though she still sobbed a little. “It’s okay. No one will hurt you” The former KGB-Agent reassured her.

It was Nadia who solved the hug. “Where are we?”

Her mother smiled and thought about an answer. She decided to tell her the truth. More lies wouldn’t help making Nadia trust her. “We are on an airplane honey. We’re flying home.”
“I already have a home” Nadia replied self-confident. That scared little girl seemed to be gone for a while. Irina was proud and impressed by the strength her little girl had, considering her young age.
“Now you have a new home Nadia, a home where you will live with mommy.”
Nadia seemed to think about these words. After minutes of silence she asked: “Can I still go see my friends?”

Tears filled Irina’s eyes. She had been selfish. Not even a second, she had thought about what taking Nadia away from Argentina could mean for her daughter. She lost her friends and her familiar surroundings. What right did she have to take that away from her?

You’re her mother! A voice in her head screamed.

She gently took her daughter in a hug, kissed her hair and stroked it. “I’m so sorry honey, but I’m afraid, you can’t see your friends anymore.” As Irina expected, the kid started to cry. “Please don’t cry, Nadia. You’ll find new friends, soon. I promise you…Shhh.”
It was almost impossible to make her daughter stop crying. It broke Irina’s heart. At the same time she was so happy to have her daughter back. How contradictory was that?!


Los Angeles

“I’m glad you found the time to come, Jack. Please take a seat.” Sloane said as Jack entered his office. He nodded in the direction of a chair which stood in front of his desk. “It must be a hard time for you.”

“What do you mean?” Jack asked as if he didn’t know what his old friend implied.
“Come on, Jack! I’m not stupid. It’s today, isn’t it? The anniversary of Laura’s death.” Sloane gave him a sympathetic look.

Jack tried to evade his look. Sloane shouldn’t see how much pain it caused him even if he knew the wife he was married with never had existed for real. She was her invention. Laura Bristow never had existed. Her real name was Irina Derevko and until she died, she worked for the KGB.
She was dead for six years now and still he couldn’t forget what she did to him, to Sydney, his little girl. How much she missed her mother! A mother never had existed, he tried to remind himself, which really didn’t help to ease the pain he was feeling.

“Her name was Irina, Arvin. Laura Bristow never existed and I don’t sorrow after her!” Jack told his friend firmly.

Sloane replied a sad smile. “Stop lying to yourself, Jack. I know it hurts you. You don’t need to be alone on this. Emily and I can help you, but you have to let us.” He made a break. Silence filled the office. “How’s Sydney?”

“I don’t know. She is very…” He searched for words. “Quiet” he finished. He had to admit that it was hard looking at Sydney who looked every day much more like her mother. But he was grateful he had her. Jack wouldn’t know what to do if he also would lose his daughter. The only good thing Irina had done to him, even though their time together was a happy time and he had fun watching together with his wife how this baby turned into a beautiful little girl.

“She’s sad, too. She needs you, Jack. Don’t avoid her open your heart to her. She’s a gift, your wife gave you.”

Jack didn’t feel comfortable talking about Laura or Irina, or whatever the hell her name was. So he decided to change the subject. “Is that the reason why you wanted to talk to me, Arvin?”

Sloane kept cryptic with his answer. “Yes and no.” Jack frowned. “She’s alive, Jack. Irina Derevko. She lives.”

First Jack wasn’t able to react, but soon he realized what Sloane had told him. “I think I need a drink.”

Arvin ignored his reply and handed a file to him. Jack knew what this file was about. He read it dozens and dozens of times after he learned that Laura Bristow was an alias of Irina Derevko, KGB-Spy. But these pictures were new. They showed Irina in an orphanage taking a little girl. “Do we know who this girl is?”

Sloane nodded. “Her name is Nadia Santos. The KGB is after her.”

“That makes sense. Irina works for the KGB” Jack replied.

“She didn’t go back to the KGB, Jack. She’s gone. No one knows where she is and what she does want with this child. But one of the men she worked with at the KGB might know it. He visits a club in Athens tomorrow. His name is Bruno Makalov. We could go in and try to find out what Irina has planed. Maybe we find her and could take her into custody. I need you on this mission, Jack. You know her best.”

A shadow crossed Jack’s face. He couldn’t believe it! Finally he should have the chance to get revenge? Now it was his turn. “You have no idea how much I want to help you. Count me in” he simply replied without looking up from the pictures of Irina.



Dec 13, 2005
Oh this is awesome!!
Steffi this is sooo cool! Im loving it! can I please pretty please have a PM when you update!!
Oh and I tried sending you a PM before about an update on my fic but it wouldnt let me send it *beats PM machine* so if you go looking for "Family Secrets" in General you'll find it :D

:D update soon!!!!


Dec 10, 2004
Germany, Munich
Thank you all so much for responding! I really appreciate them. (y) I added everyone to the PM-List.
I hope you like the new chapter.


Irina was in her office at her house, Nadia’s new home. A look on the watch confirmed it was midnight. She took Nadia in bed hours ago and hoped her daughter could sleep well. It had been a very emotional day for her.
She was at a place, she didn’t know with a woman who kidnapped her with the assertion to be her mother. Irina still didn’t know if her daughter really believed her.

Now the former KGB-Agent was here in the middle of the night, working. There were so many arrangements that had to done to form a new organization and more things to think about. She thought about using Project Christmas on Nadia. Her world was full of danger and lies. Irina didn’t want her daughter to be a victim once day and besides that: Jack used Project Christmas on Sydney.

Suddenly she heard footsteps from outside. Irina looked up and frowned. Immediately she started to worry about Nadia. The former KGB-Agent grabbed her gun which always lay in her desk and went outside.
She saw a shadow at the corridor. Slowly she approximated to the shadow and immediately dropped her gun when she saw it was Nadia who just looked at her.

The expression on Irina’s face got softer as she knelt down by her side. “Sweetheart, what are you doing here? Why don’t you sleep?” Her voice was softly and she didn’t sound angry, just worried.

“I – “her daughter trailed off and bit her lip.

Irina put her on her lap. Nadia’s face rested on her mother’s cheek. “Tell me, honey.” The brown hair woman demanded softly and placed a kiss on her forehead. It was obvious that this little girl didn’t want to be alone in this house she didn’t know. But although Irina knew that, she wanted to hear it from her little girl.

“I was scared, I would be alone when I wake up” the girl admitted.
“Oh sweetheart! Mommy will never, ever again leave you” The mother gently rocked her daughter and added. “Come on! Mommy takes you back to bed. Beautiful little girls should sleep at this time.”

“I’m already six years old!” Nadia protested which made Irina smile.

“Which doesn’t change the fact that you’re tired, Nadia.”

The former KGB-Agent picked Nadia up and was about to carry her in her room. “I’m not tired, mommy.” Nadia yawned sleepy.

Irina had tears in her eyes. Her daughter had called her “Mommy” for the first time. It sounded great! Now she knew that Nadia believed this woman was her mother.
Irina decided to stop working and take Nadia in her mother’s bed. Maybe Nadia would sleep easier if she sleeps in her mother’s bed and not alone.
“Yes, you are, honey. Mommy takes you in the big bed.” But Nadia didn’t hear her anymore, because she was already sleeping.

Gerard Cuvee stood in darkness, between bushes and peered up to the window of the room where Irina and Nadia were sleeping. “Enjoy your time with your little girl, Irina. It won’t be long.” He smiled a little then he walked back into the darkness. It wasn’t the time. He had to wait, but he wasn’t impatient. He could wait as long as necessary.


Los Angeles

“Oh! He’s here!” Sydney snapped as her father arrived home. Jack felt guilty, but he didn’t show it. He knew how far he went away from Sydney since Laura’s “death”. He just couldn’t stand the pain he saw in his daughter’s eyes of not having her mother around.

Every time Jack felt guilty. He was supposed to be a trained agent. Why didn’t he realize that the woman he was married with did not exist? She never was that lovingly wife and mother she played. There had must be signs: Why didn’t he see it? He could have spared Sydney so much pain.
“I’m sorry, sweetheart. I had so much work to do” he smiled at her, but she didn’t reply it. Her look was cold and she reminded him so much on Laura…Irina! He corrected himself.

Twelve year old Sydney snorted. “Yeah, I figured that out. Today I had a stage play in school. You promised me to come, but you didn’t!” Tears filled her eyes and seeing how much pain it caused her that her daddy wasn’t there though he promised, he would, broke Jack’s heart for his daughter. The only thing he had after Irina abandoned this family.

Suddenly Sydney ran upstairs and the next thing Jack heard was the door she slammed behind. He hesitated. Was it wise to follow her? He decided to check on her and went upstairs, knocked softly on Sydney’s door.

“Sweetheart, can we talk about this? Please! Look, I’m sorry, I missed your play. I really am.”

“Go away! I miss mom!” Sydney cried. Jack swallowed hard and tried to get in, but the door was locked, so he decided it was the best to give her some space. So he went downstairs and prepared dinner, hoping that Sydney would change her mind and at least try to talk to him.



Dec 13, 2005
Oh I loved Irina with Nadia, she loves that little girl soooooo much. And whats Cuvee up to? he better not hurt Nadia!!! :mad: He better not try and take her away or spymom will go Amazon on his arse and tear him to shreds, your one dumbass spy if you think you can mess with irina derevko.

I loved Little Nadia! She is sooo cute! AND SHE CALLED IRINA MOMMY!! OMG how awesome!!!

Jack and Syd, well what can you say, she misses her mom and he misses the wife he thought he had and hates the woman she really was... complicated doesnt even begin to cover it.

You write incrediably well Steffi! Please PM me! I'm loving this! update soon!


Dec 10, 2004
Germany, Munich
First of all thank you all so much for your replies. I read them all and was very happy. Sorry for the delay. I just couldn't find the time to update. :)


“Sweetheart!” Irina whispered. A tray with breakfast, pancakes and orange juice, was in her hands as she entered the room. Nadia still was sleeping. Irina smiled at how peacefully she slept.
The former KGB-Agent went down to her ear and whispered again: “Sweetheart. Come on wake up, honey. I have breakfast for you.”

Nadia rolled on the other side so her face was on her mother, who smiled at her and stroked a strand of hair out of her face. “Good morning, mommy” she yawned.

Her mother smiled. She loved it when Nadia called her “Mommy”. It was wonderful she had her back after she thought she would never see her again.
Irina would see Sydney again, once day, she was sure of that. But with Nadia she already had lost hope.

“I have pancakes for you. Do you like pancakes?” The former KGB-Agent asked her daughter.
Nadia nodded immediately and grabbed the tray, started to eat breakfast. “I woke you, because I have to work today. I will be done in the afternoon and then we’re doing something nice, okay?” Irina explained, though she rather would’ve spent the whole day with her little girl. “Svenja, the housekeeper, will stay with you here while I’m away.”

Nadia seemed disappointed. She didn’t want to spend the half day with a woman she didn’t know, in a country she didn’t know. This was her mother, why couldn’t she be with her? The work didn’t interest Nadia. She only wanted her mommy to be around. She didn’t want to be alone.

The little girl was about to cry. “Why can’t you work here, mommy?” she asked innocently.

Irina smiled a little. It was a strange feeling, in a good kind of way, to have someone who didn’t want to be without her, someone Irina had to take care of. “Sweetheart, the work I have to do is in the city. I can’t do it here. When I’m back, I only spend time with you. We can do anything you want. Listen to what Svenja is saying to you. She will watch you, okay?”
The former KGB-Agent kissed Nadia’s forehead and then left the house. Going to do some business was never that hard before. She decided to do this deal very quick, so she could be back very soon.

Now she had someone, she wanted to go back to, Nadia.



Sloane and Jack entered the club. Their looks searched for Makalov. Loud music came out of the boxes.
Jack nipped on his drink, which didn’t taste any good. Even though he was on a mission and he should be focused on it, his thoughts still were on Sydney.

He still was hurt by the things she said. If his daughter would only know who her mother really was, maybe she would think different. But he could never tell her. It would be too painful, more painful than it was for her to learn about her mothers “death”.
Jack was helpless: What should he do, to build a better relationship with Sydney? “Jack?” Sloane suddenly said. First Jack didn’t look up, but after his old friend touched his arm, he did.

His look followed Sloane’s. They saw Makalov in the rear part of the club. Three beautiful, young ladies were with him.
Jack nipped on his drink for the last time then he nodded in Sloane’s direction and followed him to Makalov.

Makalov’s attention was on the ladies. He bit one of them in the lip. “Oh Sweetheart! You taste so good!” As he recognized Jack and Sloane standing in front of him, he looked up. They just stared at him with cold faces. Jack’s expression was colder than Sloane’s.

“Hello!” Sloane said.

“Who are you, guys?” He smirked. “Do you wanna join?”

“No, but we like to have answers.” Jack replied and handed something to him, which seemed like a billfold, but as Makalov opened it, he saw it was a CIA identity card.
Makalov frowned, but was too surprised to reply. “We know you work for the KGB; we also know you were in America to steal information about Project Christmas.” Jack’s expression was still emotionless.

But Makalov seemed to get scared. He was really little now. With the girls he seemed so big. Jack and Sloane hated people like him. He was just a nominal member, no one with a conscience or with an own opinion, just a poor figure. “What do you want?”

Jack smiled coldly. It was just too easy to scare people like him. “Irina Derevko. You helped her coming to the states in order to get married with…” He trailed off and bit his lip. He couldn’t finish, the rest should have been “me”, but his anger was so big that he even couldn’t speak it out. Besides that, it wasn’t any of this guys business.

“Do you know where we can find her?” Sloane asked.

“I’ve heard something, rumors that she tries to form a new organization, since she escaped from KGB custody. That’s all I can say.”

“She was in KGB custody?” Jack asked in surprise.

Suddenly his scary face turned into a smile. “I know who you are. I had to think about it, but now I remember. You are Jack Bristow, the man, Irina was supposed to marry.” As he laughs, Jack hits him in the face.

He would have done more if Sloane wouldn’t have grabbed his arm. “Jack” he said calmly. Jack’s attention turned to his friend. “He’s not worth it.”

“What do you know about the girl?” Jack asked more calm than before.

Makalov frowned as if he tried to remember something. “I don’t know what you are talking about, but maybe you mean the girl Irina gave birth while she was in prison.”

Jack’s eyes widened. As he spoke, his voice was just a whisper: “Are you telling me, Irina Derevko has another daughter?!” Suddenly he grabbed him by his shoulders and shook him. Was it possible? Did he have another daughter?
If she was Irina’s daughter, it meant she could be also his daughter. He needed to find Irina!! He needed to know if it was true.



The first thing Irina smelt as she arrived home was lunch, meat loaf with a delicious sauce.

Svenja was in the kitchen, cooking for Irina and Nadia. The former KGB-Agent smiled and entered the kitchen.
The housekeeper and nanny turned around as she heard the footsteps. “Hello, Ms. Derevko. How was work?”

Irina tried not to laugh. Her question sounded as if she were a normal mother with a normal job. Her relationship with her daughters was anything but not normal, so was her job. She frowned. Sometimes she really missed Sydney, wished she had her around her.
Her eldest daughter must be….how old now? Twelve? Irina shook her head. So much time had passed by since the last time she saw Sydney.

“I had a successful morning, thank you” Irina answered. “Where is Nadia?”

Svenja smiled at the mention of Nadia’s name. Irina could see that the housekeeper already adored that cute little girl.
The former KGB-Agent had only to look at Nadia for one minute to know how special she was. “She’s upstairs, painting. I was about to get her, because lunch will be ready soon.”

“It’s okay. I’m here now. I’m going to get her.” With these words Irina turned to leave, went upstairs until she reached Nadia’s room. Irina opened the door slightly so she could watch her daughter painting. She smiled lovingly at how concentrate her little girl worked.

Softly she knocked. Her daughter turned around to the door. A big smile was on her face as she recognized her mother. “Sweetheart…” her mother whispered.

Nadia ran to her and hugged her very tightly. Irina could feel how much she missed Nadia and was overwhelmed. She missed this feeling since she left Sydney. “I’m glad you’re back!” Nadia exclaimed happily.

“So am I honey.” The former KGB-Agent placed a kiss on her baby girl’s forehead before she solved the hug. “What did you paint? Can I see it?”

Nadia nodded quickly and stepped back to the table, came back with a picture in her hand and handed it over to her mother who watched it.
Irina frowned. There were three people on that picture leaving a house. “Do you want to tell me who they are?” She asked while she knelt down by Nadia’s side.

“This first woman is you mommy and these two girls are me and Sydney.”

“What ?!” The former KGB-Agent gasped. Nadia, surprised by her mother’s reaction, wasn’t able to respond at first.
Irina was shocked. How did Nadia know about Sydney? The former KGB-Agent couldn’t remember she told her anything. “What did you say?” Her voice was just a whisper.

“I said these two girls are Sydney and me. I have a sister, right?” Suddenly Nadia was sure that she either did something bad or said something wrong, but she didn’t know what exactly it was.

“Who told you this?” Irina still whispered. Her shock didn’t allow her to speak aloud.

“Svenja, she said –“

“You wait here until I’m back!” Irina ordered sternly. Then she went quickly downstairs back to the kitchen. Svenja already laid the table. “Why the hell did you tell her?!” Irina turned furiously to her housekeeper.

Svenja seemed to be confused. “Ms. Derevko, I don’t know –“

“I mean Sydney! Why did you tell Nadia about Sydney?! That’s none of your business!” Irina interrupted her angrily.

The housekeeper swallowed hard. Her face reflected how guilty she felt about telling Nadia. “I didn’t know…I-I mean you didn’t tell me that she doesn’t know anything. She asked me about your past and about her family. She was scared to ask you, I think.”

Irina’s face softened. Her baby girl didn’t dare to ask her? Apparently there were still things Irina had to work on in her relationship with Nadia. But wasn’t that normal?
It had been foolish from her to think one day could make her daughter trust her.

“Please, wait a few minutes with lunch. I have to talk to my daughter first.” The former KGB-Agent ordered and her voice sounded apologizing. She left the room without waiting for a reply from Svenja.
Irina thought about the right words while she went upstairs. Her heart sank as she saw Nadia sitting on her bed crying. O my God! She thinks it’s her fault!

“Sweetheart?” Irina asked softly. Her daughter didn’t look up as if she felt ashamed. So Irina stepped into the room and sat down by her daughter’s side, put Nadia on her lap.

“I’m sorry, mommy! I didn’t mean to make you angry.”

Irina closed her eyes for a second and opened them again. Her chin rested on Nadia’s head. Softly she stroked her daughter’s hair to comfort her. “I am not mad at you, sweetheart. Why didn’t you ask me first? I’m here if you have any questions, you know? You weren’t supposed to learn about your sister from another source.”

“I was….” She bit her lip. Irina rocked her gently. Nadia didn’t need to add anything. The former KGB agent knew what the reason was for Nadia not asking her mother first. She still was scared, didn’t know if she could trust that woman who kidnapped her the day before. Nadia believed Irina was her mother, but she was unsure if she could trust her.

Irina knew she had to do something to make her daughter trust her. Otherwise it would be hard to build any kind of bond with her. “I know, sweetheart. But you can trust me. I’m your mother.” She gently kissed Nadia’s forehead. Both of them kept silent for a few minutes.

It was Nadia who broke it. “Do you still love me?”

Tears filled Irina’s eyes. How could Nadia ask this question? Of course she loved her, her and Sydney, more than anything in the world!
“Nadia, look at me!” The former KGB agent gently ordered. Nadia did so. “I will always love you. Nothing can ever change that. Okay?”

Nadia allowed herself a smile. “Okay.” She hesitated, because she wasn’t sure if it was the right time to ask her mother this.

Irina realized something was bothering her daughter. “Sweetheart, what’s on your mind?” she asked softly.

“I was just wondering if I can see my sister. Why isn’t Sydney here?” Nadia spoke with the innocence of a little girl who desperately wanted answers from her mother.
How could Irina refuse to give Nadia that? She would ask again until Irina tells her anything. Nadia would always think about Sydney, would always wish to get to know her.

The former KGB-Spy swallowed hard. She couldn’t tell Nadia everything about the reason why Sydney wasn’t here. It wouldn’t help to make her daughter trust her. “It’s complicated, honey” Irina sighed while she again started to stroke her daughter’s black hair.

Nadia seemed as if she was disappointed. “If adults say it’s complicated, it only means, they don’t wanna talk about something.”

Irina couldn’t help but smile while she wondered how her daughter could be so smart. After all she was only six years old! “Who told you that?” she asked, still smiling.

Her daughter shrugged. “TV” was her only reply.

“I think from now on somebody should watch what you’re looking on TV.” Irina said amused.

“Don’t change the subject, mommy! What about Sydney? Where is she? Does she live with daddy?” Nadia replied sternly, demanding for answers.

Her mother sat Nadia back on her bed. “Listen, I tell you anything you want about Sydney, okay? I promise, but not today. It isn’t time yet.” It was silent for a minute. “Come on, sweetheart. Let’s go downstairs. Lunch is getting cold.”

Though Nadia nodded, she wasn’t satisfied with her mother’s answer, but she didn’t say anything. The discussion was finished. She had to respect that and asking more could only make her mother angry.
Hesitantly she grabbed her mother’s hand, which Irina was offering, and let her mother lead her to the kitchen.

Dec 18, 2005
that was wicked i mean really amazing i liked it soo much, oh and sorry i haven't replied in a while i was on vacation....umm... updATE SOON very soon okay, keep writhing pm when you have the new chapter please and thanks



Jun 21, 2006
I love this STORY, is wonderful. I like that nadia and Irina are bonding. I'm so excited when Nadia and Sydney meet each other (if they do). Keep up thr good work its really Great

YeahYo 4 Yayo


Dec 10, 2004
Germany, Munich
Thanks to everyone of you for reading and resonding to this fic. It's really appreciated and I apologize for not updating for so long. I hope you enjoy this one and you'll still respond, despite the delay. Thanks! And a happy new year to each and everyone of you! :)

Los Angeles

Jack felt guilty about coming home lately, which happened very often in the last time. His way led him upstairs to Sydney’s room. He heard the music of New Kids on the Block coming out of boxes, very loud.
Oh god! How much he hated boyband-music! But Sydney loved them. She’s about to become a teenager, indeed.

“Sydney?” Jack asked carefully as he entered the room.

Sydney turned to him very shortly and turned back to the book she was reading. Her father was surprised that she could read with this noise. “Hi Dad!” she just replied without sounding happy he was back, though it was very rarely that he was home.

Jack let out a sigh and turned the music off so he could talk to his daughter without screaming.

His daughter frowned at him, but didn’t protest.

“I know you’re mad at me, because I missed your play” Jack started. He narrowed his eyes. He really wasn’t good at apologizing. He never was. But he really meant it. It hadn’t been his intention to hurt Sydney.

“Actually I must get used to this, that you’re never here.” Tears were running down her cheek as her attention turns to her father. “You’re not here since Mom….since she died as if you would think it’s my fault.”

“Sydney….” He couldn’t remember the last time his voice was shaking. Apparently it must be a long time, but hearing Sydney saying, he blames her for Irina’s death was too much, even for him.

Jack gently places a hand on her shoulder. “I never blamed you for what happened to your mother. It’s just….” He cleared his throat before he continued speaking. “If I could give her you back, I wouldn’t hesitate to do it. I’m sorry, I can’t, sweetheart.”

“I’m not mad at you, because she’s gone. I’m mad at you, because you’re avoiding me. You constantly do that, Dad and I need you, because I miss her so much and I don’t know how to deal with that.” Suddenly she hugs him tightly and cries heavily.

Jack just held her close, relieved that his daughter forgave him.



Irina and Nadia were at the zoo. The girl was so excited! It was the first time for her at the zoo.
In the orphanage they never did anything like that. Their only excursions were to the playground. They never had money to go to the zoo or anywhere else.

“Hey! Nadia!” Irina exclaimed. She had to run not to lose her daughter in the middle of all the people who were there with their families. She reached for her little girl, grabbed her by the arm and made her stop. “Mommy told you not to run! I could lose you here.”

Nadia was too excited to listen to any word her mother had to say. “Can we go to the playground, mommy? Please!” The radiance in her eyes made Irina smile. Words couldn’t describe what kind of feeling it was to see her daughter like that.

“Okay. But stay where I can see you, okay?” The former KGB-Agent replied.

“Okay” was the hectic answer from Nadia, then she ran to the other kids who already were playing. Irina watched her lovingly.

“They grow up so fast, don’t they?” A woman next to her said. Her hair was blonde and she held several backpacks in her arm, probably all from her kids.

“Yes, they do” Irina slowly replied as her eyes went back to Nadia who played with another girl at her age in the sand. Nadia laughed and really seemed to have fun.

“I’m Alexa.” The woman introduced herself with a friendly smile.

“Irina” the former KGB-Agent answered.

“That girl with black hair, is she yours?” Alexa asked and looked over at Nadia.

Irina’s gaze followed Alexa’s. She nodded. “Yes, that’s my daughter.”

“She’s beautiful.”

The former KGB-Agent smiled. “Thank you and your kids where are….” As Irina looked back, she realized Nadia was gone. She looked back to Alexa who also was gone.

Alexa had fooled her in order to get Nadia! Panic overcame Irina. She ran to the playground, hoping to find Nadia, but she wasn’t anywhere.
Irina asked some of the kids, some parents. Only one father told her that he saw a man grabbing Nadia.

“Thank you” Irina just said, immediately grabbed her cell phone and dialed a number.

It was Katya who answered it. She smiled as she recognized Irina’s number. “It’s nice to hear from you. I wanted to call…”

“Katya Nadia disappeared!” Her sister cut her off.

“What do you mean disappeared?” Her sister asked, frowning, trying to keep the alarm out of her voice.

“Disappeared like gone! Someone abducted her. You said I can call if I need anything. I need you here in Prague.” Irina replied impatiently, while she made her way back to her car. With these words she hung up. Her sister would know how to find her.

Irina wasn’t the tough agent she used to be, right now. Her little girl was gone and god knows what the kidnappers were up with her!

Irina couldn’t think much now. She only knew she had to get back her little girl, at all cost!