Dec 22, 2002
Here it is! ^_^ Chapter 3! Thanks for being patient... I know it's kinda short, but the chapter's are going to be getting longer soon. ;) Let me know if it isn't any good. :P

Chapter 3

Silence encompassed the room. Neither of the men knew what to say. Even if they had Sydney was deep in thought, and they didn’t want to interrupt.

“He’s alive…” Sydney whispered, her voice breaking the silence.

“We can’t be certain,” Jack replied. “But it remains a possibility. We have reason to believe it was Sloane who helped Sark escape- presumably through a hidden exit.”

Sydney soaked in all of the information she had been given. As her mind danced around the wish of memories that she longed to have, Jack and Vaughn sat in silence, watching her with pensive eyes.

The silence remained until Jack’s cell phone rang. He answered it, then quickly excused himself from the room, walking out into the hallway to take the call. Looming in the room over Sydney and Vaughn was an awkward silence. Vaughn kept his eyes fixed on the floor, not wanting to make eye contact with Sydney.

Sydney looked up. “Vaughn…”

He met her gaze, his eyes sad and concerned.

“I’d like to tell you I’m sorry,” she continued.

“Syd-“ Vaughn began to interrupt, but Sydney held up a finger to silence him.

“But I… I just can’t. I- I’m not.”

Sydney’s words shocked herself, and she could tell that Vaughn hadn’t been prepared for them either. He only nodded. She continued.

“I don’t remember any of it, Vaughn,” tears lightly began to fall from her eyes and down her cheeks again. “I don’t remember being engaged to Sark, marrying him. I don’t remember Luke. Vaughn, I can’t be sorry for this; I won’t be. Not until I know exactly what I did- what happened over the last year and a half.”

Then, after a moment, she whispered to herself, “Which means I have to find him.”

She looked up once again at Vaughn, whose eyes glistened in the light. “It’s okay, Syd. I understand.”

He leaned over and gave her as close to a hug as he could with the baby in her arms and being careful not to hurt her. “It’s okay,” he repeated as she cried. They stayed that way until she fell into a deep sleep.


The next several weeks slowly passed by. Sydney spent a majority of the time asleep, her father working by her side. Jack left the room only when necessary, and only if there was someone else who could stay with her. Several visitors came to see her- Marshall, Weiss, Dixon, even Barnett and Kendall each made a brief visit. All of them spent a time with Luke. None of them could help but fall in love with the bright-eyed baby.

Sydney knew her wound was healing. She could now fully sit up, usually without any pain. Despite the improvement on her physical condition, emotionally Sydney felt the pain deepen each day- each time she wished she could remember. Not knowing a part of her own life made her constantly wonder: Had she been happy during her time with Sark? Did Sark really love her? Had she loved him?

She knew better than to use logic. In the madness that surrounded her each day logic was hardly worth using in like circumstances, but Sydney couldn’t find anything else that could help her answer the questions she continued to ask herself.

It was only logical that she had, in fact, loved him. She had married him. They had had baby Luke. She had run to him when he was shot. She had to have loved him. And yet whenever she told herself that- whenever she tried to make herself believe that she had loved Sark, she couldn’t accept it, at least not fully. She knew she wouldn’t be able to until she found him. Once she saw him, once she talked to him- then she’d know.


Sydney rocked Luke in her arms, his eyes fluttering shut. Jack sat in a chair next to the bed, working on his laptop. Sydney’s eyes were fixed on her wedding ring that Jack had given her after careful analysis by the CIA.


Jack immediately shut his laptop and moved closer to her. “What’s wrong?”

“I’m going to need your help once I get out of here.”

“Sydney, I’ve already arranged for you and Luke to stay with me when you’re released. Everything will be fine.”

“That’s not what I meant. Once I get out of here I’m going to need your help to see Sark.”


“Dad, he’s the only one who knows, the only one who knows where I was, what happened. He’s the only one with answers. I need answers.

“I know the CIA won’t allow it- not without some sort of arrangement to bring him in, but, Dad, I need to go. I have to.”

“We don’t know where he is, or if he’s even alive. It might take months to find out either way…”

“Then take me to the house. Maybe if I go inside I’ll be able to find something that could help me remember.”

“Sydney… Kendall’s ordered agents to stay at the house in case Sark returns.”

“There’s no way they’d let me in.”

Seeing his daughter’s tear-filled eyes and having seen her countenance change since her return, Jack became more determined than ever to give Sydney what she deserved: answers. “I’ll help you, Sydney.”

“Dad, Kendall’s not going to-“

“They’ll let you in.”

Tears that had filled her eyes now gently ran down her face. “Thank you,” she whispered.

Jack nodded. He took Luke from Sydney’s arms. The baby opened his eyes and happily looked up at Jack.

“Get some rest, Sweetheart. I’ll take care of Kendall.”

Jack retook his seat and began to softly talk to Luke. Sydney smiled at the sound. She then closed her eyes as her head laid down on the soft pillows. She listened to the one-sided conversation for a few more minutes until she fell into a deep sleep.

amy lynn

The Polish Pirate
Mar 23, 2004
So, I'm really loving this story! I have so many questions - which I'm sure you'll answer in later chapters ;)

Sark's body is gone...that means he's not dead...right!!! :unsure: He can't be dead! Sark's too crafty to die!! :LOL:

I hope that Sydney is able to find some answers!

Please PM me when you update next...this is a very interesting start to the story! :flowers:
Dec 22, 2002
I am so sorry that it's been so long! I had major writer's block going on, and I didn't like a thing I was writing... actually I still don't really like it, but I hope you will. Again, I'm sorry! The next update will be sooner, I promise! :)

Chapter Four

Jack continued to bring boxes of Sydney’s things from the closet. After her disappearance, Jack had gone to Sydney’s apartment and gathered a majority of her belongings. Will and Francie were told of what had happened, and were advised to enter into witness protection- which they reluctantly did.

Sydney sat on her new bed, Luke in her arms, watching her father bring in box after box. She stopped watching when she felt a light tug on her hair. Luke’s small fingers were tightly wrapped around a strand of her hair. A gummy smile appeared on his face as he pulled the strand up and down.

Sydney rolled over onto her back, lifting Luke into the air. She brought him down and gently laid him on her stomach. Placing his fingers up to her lips, Sydney pretended to eat them. This caused Luke’s smile to enlarge, as well as Sydney’s.

She looked into his happy blue eyes. Sydney adored him. She loved the way his eyes would sparkle and his toothless grin would appear. He would never have to try to win her heart, she had lost it to him from the beginning.

As Sydney thought about Luke and how much he’d grown in the month they had spent at the hospital, her father re-entered the room.

“This is the last one,” he informed her, smiling as he caught sight of Sydney and Luke’s smiling faces.

Sydney sat up. “Thanks, Dad.”

He nodded in acknowledgment. “Do you want me to watch him for awhile so you can unpack?”

“Actually, if you don’t mind, I’d like it if you stayed here for awhile.”

Realizing this to be more of a plea than a request, Jack immediately agreed to stay. He unfolded a blanket on the floor and began to help Sydney unpack.

Sydney was happy to see her belongings. Her favorite clothes were all safely tucked away in a few boxes. In another box were some of her favorite books, CDs, and a book of photographs.

A smile spread across her face when she saw the captured moments. Included were some pictures of Sydney with Will and Francie, a few old photos of her with one of both of her parents, and even a couple of ones with Danny. The last filled in pages held pictures of Sydney and Vaughn.

She shut the book then, gently setting it aside. For a few moments she fought back tears. The memories the pictures held, while precious to her, were painful all the same. So much had changed since she’d been away. Too much had changed. It was overwhelming her, and she was sure it was noticeable.

“Sydney,” her father’s voice penetrated her thoughts. “I have a meeting with Kendall tomorrow to discuss your visit to the house.”

It was then that Sydney realized that tears had begun to fall down her face. She gently wiped them away, only to make way for more tears to fall. Her foggy gaze turned from the floor to her father. Seeing the concern in his eyes, she tried to assure him, “I’m fine- really.”

“No, Sweetheart, you’re not. But you will be,” he pulled her into his arms, allowing her to cry on his shoulder. “You will be.”


The meeting between Kendall and Jack had gone relatively uneventful. There had been little yelling, no quarreling- only understanding. However, Kendall continued to protest.

“I can’t allow her to go, Jack.”

“After all she’s done for this agency, after all she’s been through- how can you deny her the one thing she needs to move on with her life?”

“It’s not that simple. There are rules, Jack. Rules that I have to follow. I wish I could help Sydney, but—“

“You know she’ll go with or without your permission.” Jack gave Kendall a glare before exciting the room.

A sigh escaped Kendall’s lips a few seconds later. With a small shake of his head he pulled out a pen and wrote on a small piece of paper. He then excited his office in search of Jack.

After scanning over the room a few times, Kendall’s eyes caught sight of him leaving. Kendall began to walk faster. Once Jack was in sight, he called out his name. Jack stopped walking and looked expectantly toward the man.

“You left this in my office,” he explained as he stepped close enough to hand Jack the paper.

With a glance down at the scrap in his hand, Jack nodded his thanks and agreement.


Sydney wasn’t clear about what was going on. All she knew was that her father had told her Kendall’s decision was a no, but to pack a few days worth of clothing for her and Luke. She had attempted to get more information from him, but he wouldn’t give anything away.

“Are you ready to go?” Jack stepped inside the room, Luke in his arms.

Sydney wanted to inquire where they were going, but decided against it. With a nod, she shut the two suitcases she had packed and slowly stood. She began to pick up the suitcases. When she looked up at where her father stood, she knew what he was thinking. The doctor’s orders about carrying anything. Even holding Luke was near crossing the line. With a sigh, she dropped the suitcases.

“It’s only for two more weeks,” Jack handed Luke to Sydney as he spoke.

This initiated another sigh to spring from her lips. “They can’t come fast enough.”

Her father smiled as he led Sydney and Luke outside to the car. Once they were inside and situated, Jack began to explain. “Kendall gave me this,” he handed her the scrap of paper as he continued, ”We’re going to meet him.”

Sydney looked down at the small paper. Hastily scribbled onto it were packing instructions, an address, and a time. She let this be enough of a reason to allow hope to resurface in her heart.
Dec 22, 2002
Here you go! Chapter five! ^_^ Enjoy!

Chapter Five

The warehouse Kendall had chosen to meet was set in the shadows. To the inexperienced, the sight of the massive and dark building would cause them to think it a wrong address and leave. But to the two agents who knew what they were doing (for the most part) and were expecting, this was exactly the right address and a nearly perfect place to do business.

The father/daughter pair walked up to the building. Luke lay asleep in Sydney’s arms, snugly wrapped in a blanket. The door on the side of the building that they used as an entrance creaked as Jack pulled it open.

After walking through a few more doors, they found Kendall in a dimly lit room. He was sitting on a crate, leaning against a wall. He stood once he saw Sydney and Jack enter. “Jack,” he nodded to the man, then to Sydney. “Sydney. How is the baby?”

“He’s fine. Tired, but he’s doing really well.” Sydney smiled at Kendall, who gave her a half-smile in return as he peered at the small bundle.

“Here is everything you need to know before you go into the mansion in Venice,” Kendall began his explanation as he handed Jack an envelope. “The guard team changes every 24 hours, so I’m afraid that’s as much time I can give you. Currently there is a team of five there. The two of you will have to convince them you’re partners were detained and get them to leave. After they’re gone, you can look through the house.

“When you return, you will have to give a full report. There’s no way around that.”

Jack looked to Sydney when Kendall paused, who nodded in acceptance.

“Your flight leaves in an hour. Your aliases, tickets, and credentials are all in the envelope. If you need anything, contact me and I’ll do my best.”

After signaling his thanks with a nod, Jack turned to leave with Sydney following closely behind.

“And Sydney,” Kendall called causing both Bristows to turn, “good luck.”

Sydney smiled then turned to leave, her longing for memories and the truth intensifying,

It didn’t take Sydney very long to convince the team at the house to leave. The five agents appears tired, agitated, and eager to return to their normal jobs. Only one agent, a female with bright green eyes that seemed to be constantly alert questioned Sydney’s remarks, and she was satisfied after hearing more to the fabricated story.

Once the team had signed out and left, Jack began to unload. He carried their belongings to two small rooms near the doorway. Sydney sat Luke down on a blanket on the floor and began to explore the house.

She walked upstairs first. Along the walls were paintings that relaxed her. There were several rooms she peered into—an office, nursery, bedroom, bathroom, library and a few guest rooms.

Sydney longed to continue the look through the rest of the house. However, exhaustion swept over her. She yawned as she went back downstairs. Picking up Luke, she went into the room she was to sleep in. After situating Luke and herself, Sydney soon fell asleep.


“I’m sorry, Sydney…”

A whispered voice plead forgiveness. Sydney slowly opened her eyes—just in tine to see a dark shadow flee to the hallway. She could hear faint footsteps outside the room.

Sydney looked over to the spot where Luke laid. The baby was fast asleep, his small chest gently rising and falling as he breathed. After rearranging the pillows around him, Sydney kissed his forehead.

The dark hallway was empty when she emerged from the room. Sydney decided to go upstairs. She entered a room at random. It was an office with a dark wooden desk buried under papers and a small computer sitting in it’s corner. Opposite it was bookcase after bookcase—a good sized library filled with a variety of books.

Sydney browsed through the shelves, quickly forgetting about the person she knew had been in her room. As she continued to look around, she found another shelf. This one however, was different the rest. Photo albums and framed pictures filled it’s wooden boards. After taking a closer look, Sydney longed for the memories the photographs held. Some were from her wedding day. These were filled with joyful faces—evidence of a happier time. Some were from Luke’s birth. In those pictures, Sydney could see sincere love and utter joy in Sark’s eyes, as well as in her own. Other photos were family portraits, Luke, Sark and herself at random places and of them when they first bought their home.

Sydney took a few pictures from one of the albums. As she was doing so, she heard movement coming from back in the library. She went to investigate as quickly as she could. But when she arrived, no one was there.

She walked back to the desk and sat down, contemplating the events since her arrival at the house. Soon her suspicion grew. Sark was in the house. He had to be. She could feel him.

Quickly, she grabbed a piece of paper and a pen. She jotted down only two words—they were all she needed to write—‘Help me.’ Sydney looked around the desk and eventually found a roll of tape. She walked back to where the noise had come from, and taped the sign to one of the bookshelves.

Sydney went back downstairs to check on Luke. She found him still asleep, and she sat down on the edge of the bed, content in watching her baby sleep. Then, after awhile, Sydney longed to check and see if Sark had seen her note. Quietly, she left Luke again and went back to the office.

She pulled the paper off the bookcase. He had found it and left a reply: ‘What do you need?’ After thinking for a minute, she summed up her answer by writing: ‘Answers.’ She grabbed a book off the shelf and sat down to read. Soon though, her eyelids grew heavy and she fell asleep.


There was someone else in the room. She could feel it. Sydney opened her eyes and he was there. Sark was standing next to her, reading the note she had left.

He looked down and saw Sydney’s chocolate eyes looking at him. Before either of them said a word, Sark dropped the paper and pulled out some books that lined a wall. On the wall was a button. He pressed it twice, causing the bookshelf to reveal a hidden exit. Sark rushed in, then everything went back into place.

Sydney quickly repeated Sark’s actions and entered the exit. She followed a long hallway—not seeing any trace of her husband. She began to walk faster and soon found herself in a large garden.

Her eyes scanned the area for any sign of the man she was searching for. She found him, heading for a small bridge that had been built over a pond. She got closer than lost track of him.

“Sark!” She called out to him, hoping the words would reach him through the darkness. “Please. Please, just talk to me for a minute!”

Sydney continued to make her way to the bridge as rain began to fall. Walking faster, she finally made it to the bridge. And there he stood.

At the other end of the bridge Sark waited, the large raindrops beginning to soak his clothes. Seeing him, Sydney walked across the bridge to his side and stood in front of her husband. Before she thought about what she was doing, she found herself kissing him as her arms wrapped around his neck
Dec 22, 2002
...and four years later, she returns!

I was going around reading fanfics on and decided to try to find my screen name on there. I searched for this story and found myself. I realized that I hadn't ever updated it past chapter 5. So I came here to see if I'd posted the rest that I'd written. To my great shame, I hadn't. I went to SD-1... and I can't even find the thread anymore, which just makes me sad. So I got on my external hard drive and searched and found that I have at least two more chapters done that never got posted. Why? I haven't the faintest idea. One of my goals for this year is to start writing this again. So I come bearing a chapter. Yay. :)

In this next two-part chapter you learn all the things you've wanted to know. Well, most of them if I remember right. :ph34r:

Chapter Six {Part One}

The kiss was dead. She had poured all of her hope into it, and he had killed it- murdered it with no regard to her feelings. It was if he couldn’t love her; as if he were stopping any emotion from going to her.

Sydney broke away, hurt. He would not look at her. He simply turned to walk away.

“Sark,” she pleaded for him to turn around, but only saw him wince.

“Sydney, you can’t just-- you don’t understand.”

“Then make me,” she walked in front of him. “I know you must be upset with me for not remembering us, or even most of you, but I can-- ”

“That’s not--”

“Please, just give me a chance to explain. Please, Sark. I’ll remember again. I promise you I will remember everything. I’ll remember I loved you, and- and the wedding, being engaged, when Luke was born… I’ll remember it all, just let me try! And help me--”

“Sydney!” Sark raised his voice as his emotions got the best of him. “You don’t know me at all.”

“I told you, I’ll remember,” Sydney stopped him from continuing.

“No, you won’t. Sydney, you never knew me. You never knew me.”

She stared as he began to pace, rubbing the back of his neck. “But I thought--”

“You thought what, Sydney? That we were happy together? That you loved me? Chose me as your husband by pure choice? Tell me, what could I have ever said to you to gain your trust, let alone make you fall in love? No… you thought wrong. You never loved me.”

“Then you tell me,” Sydney ordered, becoming angry and desperate for answers. “You explain to me why I loved you, or didn’t love you. You tell me why we got married, had a baby together. I want to know what I can’t remember, and what I never knew- I want to know it all,” she paused for a brief moment, meeting Sark’s deep blue eyes. “Right now.”

By this time, Sark had calmed down. He saw the determination in Sydney’s eyes more clearly than he had ever before. Knowing she would never let him leave without them and acknowledging how much she deserved the answers she sought, Sark nodded in agreement. He led Sydney to a bench beneath a tree a short distance from the bridge. There they sat, better sheltered from the rain.

Not certain where he was to begin, nor of what to say, he began with a confession. “I have always loved you, Sydney. Ever since I first met you I was attracted to you. I wanted you to love me as much as I love you. I wanted you to be mine and mine alone. More than that, I wanted you to want to be mine. Remember that and know I still feel that way.”

His words had surprised her; he could see it in her eyes. However he also knew she didn’t know what to think or say about it. After a moment of silence and a deep breath, Sark began his explanation, Sydney’s eyes fixed on him as he spoke.


He had been waiting for an hour. Patience wasn’t something that Sark had much experience in, nor was it something he enjoyed exercising. Normally he would have left by now, but this meeting would not be normal.

He sat on the hood of his car in the deserted parking garage of a nearby bank. Next to him was a briefcase. Both were waiting for the same man—Arvin Sloane.

Sloane finally arrived—a full half-hour late. He didn’t mention his being late. Instead, he immediately began to speak.

“When I first heard of what you wanted to do, I can’t say I was surprised. I did, however, keep asking myself one question—what would Julian Sark want with Sydney Bristow?”

An agitated expression came over Sark’s face and he shot Sloane an icy glare as he slid off his car. “That would be none of your concern.”

“Ah, but it is. If you’re requesting my help, it most certainly is.”

“No. Your concern is getting the doctor and Bristow to the correct locations, and making sure the doctor does as planned,” he grabbed the suitcase and opened it. “The money in this briefcase is your concern. My reasoning is my own.”

Sloane took the briefcase; an amused look painted on his face that matched the smirk that had momentarily appeared. “I’ll make contact when everything is in place.”

With those words he returned to his car and drove away, leaving Julian Sark alone with his thoughts.


As badly as he wanted to pace, he restrained. He had to remain still and quiet. Everything was in place. Sydney would be his in less than seventy-two hours. All he had to do was wait.

Sloane casually walked into the room. He was calm, a sly smile plastered onto his face. One glance from him told Julian that Sydney would fin them shortly.

Slowly and quietly Sark moved toward the door. His hand firmly grasped his gun as he prepared himself to move.

The door quietly opened, and there she stood. From where Julian was standing, Sydney could not see him. He watched a fire light up in her eyes which caused a hate filled glare to be shot in Sloane’s direction.

While it caused Sark to tense, the glare seemed to have no effect on his partner. For a long moment, there was an eerily kept silence. The room was so quiet that each angry breath Sydney took could be heard.

Sloane finally spoke. “Hello, Sydney.”

Julian quickly moved behind her. He lifted his gun as Sydney spun to face him. He forcefully brought the gun down onto Sydney’s head, then caught her when she fell.

He gently tied her arms together. Then he lifted her into a more comfortable carrying position. Looking to Sloane he spoke forcefully. “Let’s go.”


They quickly exited the building and within an hour Sloane, Sark and Sydney were all aboard a plane, well on their way to their destination. To make sure Sydney caused no problems, she had been sedated before the left to make her sleep the entire flight.

Once they had landed, Sark prepared Sydney for surgery, while Sloane helped the doctor set up. It wasn’t long afterward that the sedative began to ware off of Sydney. She awoke to a pair of bright blue eyes staring intently at her.

“Good morning,” Sark smiled.

He was given a confused look, which he suspected would soon evolve into a glare. Before Sydney could say or do anything, he spoke again.

“Sydney, I assure you that you are safe here. I give you my word.”

An amused smirk came onto her face as she shook her head.

“What?” Julian inquired.

“I’m safe here? Somehow I don’t see my being a prisoner considered very safe,” she tiredly responded as she rubbed her eyes, the sedative still fading away.

“If you truly were a prisoner, Sydney, don’t you think you would be tied to a rather uncomfortable chair in a cold, bland room instead of lying on a bed with no restraints?”

Sydney took several minutes to observe the room, and, finding there to be nothing but an unarmed Julian Sark preventing her escape. She sat up, running her fingers through her hair.

With a challenging look, she returned her gaze to Sark. “Why am I here if I’m not a prisoner?”

“A valid question,” Sark responded with a nod. Then, following a moment of silence, he spoke again. “One of which I am able to answer.”

Sydney gazed at him expectantly. Sark took a deep breath, and then began to speak.

“In truth, Sydney, you are here because I want you here. I have arranged for you to have an operation. I assure you, it is entirely safe, and I will supervise it personally.”

Sydney stared at him, her gaze intensifying into a glare with every passing second. “What kind of operation?”

“It will cause us to no longer be enemies. We’ll be… different. Better.”

Sydney’s gaze did not lessen. “Better? What makes you think that I’m going to allow anything to change between us? Especially after this?”

“You won’t have a choice. You won’t remember not having a choice, either. All you will know is what I want for you to know. Whatever I want for you to believe.”

“Sark… it won’t be real. How are you going to live with the knowledge that you forced my love? That’s not fair to you or me. I know that you’ve made this decision, but I promise you. One day, you will regret this.”

A knock on the door caused Sark’s response to stay inside his mind. A man looked in, and said, “Dr. Rham is ready, Sir.”

Sark nodded. Then, turning to Sydney, calmly stated, “Please don’t make this any more difficult.”

Sydney complied. Solemnly she allowed him to lead her out of the room. Her eyes were filled with pity for Sark. She knew that his desires would not be met with the surgery’s outcome.

He looked at her, and could see it. It unnerved him, not seeing hatred or anger. Those were things he knew how to deal with. But, no, she gave him her pity. Something he did not understand. Part of him didn’t want to, while another part of him longed to be able to.

In complete silence they walked down the hall to the room where the operation was to take place. Sark became more anxious with every minute that passed. The words Sydney had spoken to him raced through his mind.

‘One day, you will regret this...’

With a shake of his head Sark dismissed the words as a desperate attempt for escape. However, as he looked into Sydney’s eyes as she struggled to remain conscious as the gas she inhaled began to set her free to her dreams, he knew the words were more than mere words—and they were certain to never fully escape his mind.

Part two will be here soon if I can locate the end of it. [Somehow it stops midsentence...?]
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