ok.. here's the latest chapter.. sorry it took a while.. july 4th and all.. i had a lot of stuff to do..
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Happy Belated Birthday America...
anyway.. if any of you actually read these header things.. I'm looking for a beta-type person to read over the chapters for typos and input on where to go and stuff.. just reply or PM or whatever if you're interested..
anyway.. i like to say anyway...
anyway..
on with the chapter
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Chapter 6
Sydney POV
I walk in the living room looking a mess.
Donned in a red tank top and blue pair of boxer shorts.
His boxer shorts, actually.
I'd never admit that to anyone though.
And there he is.
The moment I had been dreading and wishing for since I moved here.
"Vaughn, what are you doing here." I say standing in the doorway.
"Can I come in?" He says stepping towards me.
"I don't know if that's a good idea." I say look into his eyes.
"I just want to talk Syd, please."
The desperation and love on his face make me give in.
I step out of the way and lead him into the room.
I look away
Then I look back at you
You try to say
The things that you can't undo
If I had my way
I'd never get over you
Today's the day
I pray that we make it through
We sat silently for several minutes before I finally spoke.
"Vaughn, if you came here to talk, you aren't doing a very good job."
It came out a little more harsh than I meant for it to.
"Oh, sorry. I just came to apologize mostly. I know I can never take back all the things I did, but you have to know that I never meant to hurt you."
He looks at me searching for some kind of understanding, but I won't give him what he wants.
"Syd, I.. when you.. died.."
Hearing that pulled my heart into my stomach.
"I almost went insane. I sat in the dark. Lived off alcohol and the occasional slice of bread. I even talked to you. Like you had never gone away."
He paused scratching at an invisible blemish on his right hand.
"You actually started speaking back. That's when I realized that talking to my dead girlfriend was never gonna bring her back. That realization almost killed me. I thought that you would want me to move on."
He finally broke his gaze and looked up at me.
"I thought it's what you would have wanted."
Tears were now pulling at the corners of his eyes.
Make it through the fall
Make it through it all
I still had not made a sound.
Seeing him so broken, I wanted to run to him and comfort him.
But I only sat and stared into his eyes.
Into his soul.
"I miss you." He said standing from the couch he had been sitting on and coming to sit by me on the adjacent love seat.
"Vaughn, don't.." I said on the verge of tears myself.
"Don't what? Apologize? Tell you how I feel? What?"
"Just don't come in here and tell me how you did all this because you thought it was what I would have wanted. The truth is, you did this all for you. If you would have done what I wanted,
you would have waited. You wouldn't have given up. You would have kept looking until you found some answers."
Much to my dismay tears, again, began rolling down my face.
"I can barely sit here and keep from breaking down uncontrollably. Because I know that if it had been reversed, and you had
died... I would have waited."
And I don't want to fall to pieces
I just want to sit and stare at you
I don't want to talk about it
And I don't want a conversation
I just want to cry in front of you
I don't want to talk about it
Cause I'm in love with you
I stood from beside him and walked to the opposite side of the room.
I wiped away the fallen tears and stood absent-mindedly out of the window into the darkness.
I could feel him behind me before he ever said a word.
His presence alone comforted me.
And I hated it.
I hated how he always calmed me down.
I hated how he always knew what to say.
I hated that no matter how he had hurt me, all I could do was love him.
"I didn't come here to pick a fight, Sydney. I'm just telling you that I'm here."
He gently pulled my hair behind my ear.
"And I'm not going anywhere."
You're the only one,
I'd be with till the end
When I come undone
You bring me back again
Back under the stars
Back into your arms
With that he walked out the door.
I heard his car door shut and his engine come to life.
Before I knew what I was doing, I ran out the door behind him.
I ran into the road, in front of his car.
He opened his door and stood behind it.
"Stay."
That's the only word I could get my mouth to say.
He nodded and pulled his car back into the empty parking space.
Then, we walked through the still wide-open apartment door.
And I don't want to fall to pieces
I just want to sit and stare at you
I don't want to talk about it
And I don't want a conversation
I just want to cry in front of you
I don't want to talk about it
Cause I'm in love with you
Avril Lavigne - "Fall to Pieces"
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pms in a sec..
well not P.M.S. haha
but ya know what i mean.. hopefully..
hasta later, REVES