Alias101Freak
Cadet
Wow. So the good guys do always win. lol. Great update!!!!!!
~Em~
~Em~
guys and dolls
- Thread starter acting_chica
- Start date
acting_chica
Cadet
chapter twelve: meant to live
losin hope is easy
when your only friend is gone
and every time you look around
well it all it all just seems to change
the whole thing just happpened so fast. mccready did as he was told. he was up against the wall with his gun far from his hand; no one else complied. sark started shooting and sloane continued toward sydney with the knife. sloane was able to drip sydney’s blood into the device before he went down. sark was halfway to the door before he was shot. but by then the attention had turned to the device. it started rumbling and shaking. sark, mccready and sloane were subdued, and then all eyes were on the device. slowly, a vial started to fill with an orange liquid. sloane strained to get to it, but the bullet in his shoulder and the handcuffs around his wrists held him back. sark’s teeth gritted together as the vial filled. mccready simply stared at his feet.
when the vial was done, sydney picked it up. everyone stared at her as she examined it. suddenly it crashed to the ground. the orange liquid evaporated as it hit the cellar floor.
“you stupid woman,” sloane growled. “that could have given you everything you ever wanted.”
“maybe i don’t want them to kill you,” sydney sauntered over to sloane. everyone else in the room was still silent. dixon, weiss, all the other agents just stood there. sydney stopped in front of sloane. “certainly not because i don’t think it’s moral, i just think there could be worse things that happened in prison. i bet i could find you a nice cellmate.”
she pushed her hand into his wound. he screamed in pain. but soon vaughn had pulled sydney off. she collapsed into his arms. she didn’t understand what was happening. everything was like a dream. she wasn’t really asleep, but she wasn’t really awake.
she watched as mccready, sark and sloane were escorted out of the cellar. she watched as her father came back to consciousness. but it was all as though she were a bystander, up against the wall, vaughn’s hand in hers, just watching.
nothing was normal again until they were over california almost home.
***
“what even happened?” she asked vaughn on the plane.
“i came back to consciousness on the floor,” vaughn said. “i sent a message to weiss at the safe house, told him to bring a team.”
sydney sat in silence. “but it was all like a dream. did it seem that way to you? everything moved with a strange fluidity, nothing was blurry, but nothing was quite clear. i don’t understand.”
“that’s where you’ve got a problem,” he smiled slightly. “one of the doctor’s said you were overwhelmed by your anger. you have to go see barnett.”
“it’s nice that you think that’s amusing,” she scoffed, but she was smiling too.
they sat quietly, looking out the window, in their own portion of the plane. vaughn took her hand once more. it was just so comfortable, so known.
hangin’ on is easy
when you’ve got a friend to call
when nothing’s making sense at all
you’re not the only one who’s afraid of change
“finally,” sydney sighed.
“what?”
“finally, sloane is caught. sark is caught. mccready’s caught, even though he was only a problem for a little while. but it doesn’t matter. sloane and sark can’t do anything anymore. there’s nothing left,” she explained.
“you’re really going to quit this time?” vaughn asked.
she nodded. “i want to go back to a normal life. i miss graduate papers and going out with friends on a friday instead of different aliases and flying to sri lanka or poland on a friday night. i mean, don’t you?”
vaughn sighed. “i like what i do, but remember, i don’t have to lie about it. my friends get to know what i do. and i’m not ususally the one flying to sri lanka or poland. i get to be behind the scenes.”
sydney nodded. she understood. if she could have told people about what she did, it would have been fine. danny would be alive and well, will wouldn’t have to be in witness protection. but she didn’t want to think about that. that’s not the way it was, and wishing it that way wouldn’t make it any better.
“please sit down and fasten your seatbelts. we are descending into l.a. for landing,” the captain’s voice came over the speaker.
please return your seat tray to the upright and locked postion sydney thought. it was all so mechanical.
the plane landed. sydney found dixon as quickly as she could once she had gotten off the plane.
“dixon,” she started quietly.
he didn’t even need to hear it. “i know what you are going to say. i understand. your father and i have already discussed it,” he said.
“but i’m not going into witness protection,” she replied.
“no, of course not. there will obviously be some paperwork, some things you have to do. your father is taking care of most of it,” dixon explained.
“vaughn said that i was going to have to see doctor barnett, will i?” sydney asked.
“i think you might want to see someone, but i’m not going to force you to do it. it’s up to you,” he said. “it’s been amazing working with you sydney. you were the best partner anyone could ask for. losing you for those two years was hard, and i thank god every day that you are back.”
“oh, dixon. i love you too,” sydney bit back tears. she hugged dixon. “you are an amazing person. i’ll miss you.…i have to go find my dad.”
dixon nodded. with one last squeeze of the hand, sydney said goodbye to the one man who had never wavered from her side, who had never betrayed her. they parted ways. dixon headed home to his kids, sydney went off to talk to her father.
“sydney,” his voice was just as flat and stern as always.
she hugged him before he could say anything else. “i don’t even want to discuss it right now,” she said as she pulled away. “i’m going to go see sark and sloane and mccready for the last godforsaken time. and then i am going home, and taking a nice bubble bath and drinking a glass of red wine.”
jack gave her his smile; it was more like a frown, but it seemed all he was capable of. he nodded.
“i’ll call you tomorrow,” he said. he hugged her one more time.
she pulled her luggage along on its wheels and headed to the cells. she never wanted to see sark and sloane and mccready again, but she knew she needed to see them one last time to get them out of her life. she went to sloane first.
***
“ah, sydney my dear. come to visit me?” sloane asked.
he was so slimy, so evil.
“i just came to make sure it wasn’t all a dream. to make sure you really were in custody and you really were going to die,” she replied. “i’m leaving the agency.”
“going rogue?” he chuckled. “you could do many things.”
“no i’m not going rogue. i am starting over; forgetting about the agency, the alliance, sd-6. forgetting about you. it should be a good life,” she said.
he shook his head. “you are your mother’s child. beautiful, smart, capable. you – ”
“i don’t care. i don’t need to hear anything you have to say. i just wanted to see you. this way, every time before i go to bed i can think of you looking the way you do now, in the custody of the united states, and i will sleep peacefully and happily.”
sydney didn’t even wait for a respondse. she headed out the door and to sark’s cell.
***
“mr. julian sark. finally captured. i suppose you still have flexible loyalties?” she wondered.
“you say that so condescendingly. as though sydney bristow, with her impeccable morals and unbreakable loyalties, is so high above me, i am simply a dot in the distance to her. but i’m so glad you’ll drop to my level so we may converse,” he scoffed.
she just stood in front of him, silently.
“admiring how handsome i am are you agent bristow?”
“no, i’m taking you in. taking in the sight of sark, captured and in custody. i’ll always treasure this moment,” sydney replied.
“leaving the agency i assume?” sark asked.
“good assumption. now that you and sloane are being brought to justice, i have no reason to be here,” she explained.
“also leaving dear charles then?”
“i was never with charles. i was with a man named guy. he wasn’t what i thought,” sydney replied.
sark chuckled. “you always have a way to make it okay. you can compartmentalize anything.”
“good bye sark. for the last time, good bye.”
sydney left. only one room to go. but it was that room that she was afraid of. she took a deep breath and was ready.
***
you were all the things i thought i knew
and i thought we could be
you were everything everything that i wanted
we were meant to be supposed to be but we lost it
and as the memories so close to me just fade away
all this time you were pretending so much for my happy ending
she looked at him. he couldn’t even look her in the face. he stared at the flat metal table in front of him.
“i can’t believe you are so wracked by guilt when you see me. you work for sark and sloane, i should mean nothing to you,” sydney said.
“like you mean nothing to them? you don’t mean nothing to them. sloane wishes you were his daughter. and julian, well i haven’t quite figured it out yet. he is infatuated with you,” mccready replied.
“it doesn’t even matter anymore,” she shrugged. “i don’t care. i just needed to see you all one last time to get it out of my system.”
“one last time? i thought you were going to see sloane’s execution. and if sark or i cooperate, won’t you be working with us?” mccready asked.
“i don’t understand you. i’m not sure you care about me, i’m not sure you don’t. you aren’t as evil and slimy as sloane, but you aren’t sarcastic and cocky like sark. i just don’t understand you,” sydney said. “but to answer your question, no i won’t be working with you. i’m leaving the agency.”
mccready looked at her. one last time she looked deep into his swirling green eyes. then she broke the stare.
“good bye.”
she left the room. as soon as she was in the hallway, vaughn was by her side. she smiled at him.
“i heard you were here,” he said. he took her suitcase for her that she hadn’t bothered to put in her car yet.
“yeah. just had to see them all one last time. now i’m really free,” sydney replied.
vaughn nodded. they walked to their cars together. when they stepped out of the elevator into the parking garage, vaughn stopped. he set down her suitcase, and he suddenly kissed sydney. it was deep and passionate, and she returned the kiss. he smiled when he pulled away, took her hands in his.
“the kings are playing the avalanche on wednesday,” he beamed. “wanna go?”
she smiled but pulled her hands out of his.
“vaughn, i loved you. i loved you more than i ever thought i could love someone. then i lost you. and while i always had faith that we could be together again, now that i have the chance, i’m not as sure. i want out of the cia, completely. i want to live in a normal town with a normal job and have a normal life. i need to start over. completely start over. and i’m sorry, but this is the way it has to be,” sydney explained.
he nodded. “i understand. and i wish you the best.” the three little wrinkles in his forehead were all that gave away how deeply saddened he was.
we were meant to live for so much more
we want more than this world’s got to offer
we want more than this world’s got to offer
we want more than the wars of our fathers
and everything inside screams for second life
“this was never what i wanted. i wanted to be a teacher, like my mother. i never wanted my mother to have killed anyone, i never wanted my father to kill anyone, i never wanted to kill anyone. people i love have died too many times for me to stay in this. i have to get out,” she said.
maybe we’ve been livin’ with our eyes half open
maybe we’re bent and broken, broken
“while i have gone so many places and done so many things, it’s not what i wanted. i haven’t taken time to actually appreciate the eiffel tower when i was in paris. i was always too busy focusing on the mission. i’ve never gone into the grand canyon on the back of a donkey or mule or whatever they are. i’ve never been able to lie on foreign beaches in the sun, not worrying about work, or family or anything else. it’s like, even with as much as i have done, i haven’t really lived. it’s time for me to live.”
“well, if you ever get sick of living,” vaughn chuckled, “you can always come back and not live with me. seriously i would love to not live with you anytime you felt like it.”
“you know i won’t. i mean – ”
“shh,” he silenced her with a finger to the lips. “if i don’t have false hope, i don’t have anything.”
sydney laughed and nodded. she kissed him on the cheek, took her suitcase, and started for her car. as she walked to her car, she smiled to herself. life was going to change, but she wasn’t afraid. she was still smiling as she started the car. her mouth formed the words to the dave matthews songs as they floated from the speakers. and she drove out of the cia parking garage for the last time as an agent.
for once, none of this was about anything or anyone else. it wasn’t about the agency. it wasn’t about taking down the bad guys, getting the good guys whatever they needed to win. now it was about her. it was about sydney bristow. it wasn’t about danny or will or noah or vaughn or guy. it wasn’t for a man, it wasn’t for a friend. it wasn’t for her father. it was for her. plain and simple, for no one else, just for her. she wasn’t going to stay with the agency, and she wasn’t going into witness protection. she was going to lok through the paper, find a new apartment. maybe she would move to a different city. she would start over. get a cat, find a normal job, live peacefully. maybe she would meet someone, start a family. whatever happened was going to happen. she was going to go with the flow, play the cards she was dealt. and that, just that, was going to make her happy.
well, i suppose this is goodbye. i'll be back with thanks for all of my loyal readers . i've really had fun with this story and some of the twists, i didn't even realize were going to happen until they happened. a big group thanks to all of you for always giving me encouragement and reason to keep writing.
i realized i didn't write all the songs i used so here they are.
this chapter: switchfoot "meant to live" & (as much as i hate it) avril lavigne "my happy ending" & jack johnson "losing hope"
chapter ten: maroon5 "tangled"
chapter eight: maroon5 "she will be loved"
chapter six: hoobastank "reason"
thanks again, you guys have been great. hope you like
m-c
losin hope is easy
when your only friend is gone
and every time you look around
well it all it all just seems to change
the whole thing just happpened so fast. mccready did as he was told. he was up against the wall with his gun far from his hand; no one else complied. sark started shooting and sloane continued toward sydney with the knife. sloane was able to drip sydney’s blood into the device before he went down. sark was halfway to the door before he was shot. but by then the attention had turned to the device. it started rumbling and shaking. sark, mccready and sloane were subdued, and then all eyes were on the device. slowly, a vial started to fill with an orange liquid. sloane strained to get to it, but the bullet in his shoulder and the handcuffs around his wrists held him back. sark’s teeth gritted together as the vial filled. mccready simply stared at his feet.
when the vial was done, sydney picked it up. everyone stared at her as she examined it. suddenly it crashed to the ground. the orange liquid evaporated as it hit the cellar floor.
“you stupid woman,” sloane growled. “that could have given you everything you ever wanted.”
“maybe i don’t want them to kill you,” sydney sauntered over to sloane. everyone else in the room was still silent. dixon, weiss, all the other agents just stood there. sydney stopped in front of sloane. “certainly not because i don’t think it’s moral, i just think there could be worse things that happened in prison. i bet i could find you a nice cellmate.”
she pushed her hand into his wound. he screamed in pain. but soon vaughn had pulled sydney off. she collapsed into his arms. she didn’t understand what was happening. everything was like a dream. she wasn’t really asleep, but she wasn’t really awake.
she watched as mccready, sark and sloane were escorted out of the cellar. she watched as her father came back to consciousness. but it was all as though she were a bystander, up against the wall, vaughn’s hand in hers, just watching.
nothing was normal again until they were over california almost home.
***
“what even happened?” she asked vaughn on the plane.
“i came back to consciousness on the floor,” vaughn said. “i sent a message to weiss at the safe house, told him to bring a team.”
sydney sat in silence. “but it was all like a dream. did it seem that way to you? everything moved with a strange fluidity, nothing was blurry, but nothing was quite clear. i don’t understand.”
“that’s where you’ve got a problem,” he smiled slightly. “one of the doctor’s said you were overwhelmed by your anger. you have to go see barnett.”
“it’s nice that you think that’s amusing,” she scoffed, but she was smiling too.
they sat quietly, looking out the window, in their own portion of the plane. vaughn took her hand once more. it was just so comfortable, so known.
hangin’ on is easy
when you’ve got a friend to call
when nothing’s making sense at all
you’re not the only one who’s afraid of change
“finally,” sydney sighed.
“what?”
“finally, sloane is caught. sark is caught. mccready’s caught, even though he was only a problem for a little while. but it doesn’t matter. sloane and sark can’t do anything anymore. there’s nothing left,” she explained.
“you’re really going to quit this time?” vaughn asked.
she nodded. “i want to go back to a normal life. i miss graduate papers and going out with friends on a friday instead of different aliases and flying to sri lanka or poland on a friday night. i mean, don’t you?”
vaughn sighed. “i like what i do, but remember, i don’t have to lie about it. my friends get to know what i do. and i’m not ususally the one flying to sri lanka or poland. i get to be behind the scenes.”
sydney nodded. she understood. if she could have told people about what she did, it would have been fine. danny would be alive and well, will wouldn’t have to be in witness protection. but she didn’t want to think about that. that’s not the way it was, and wishing it that way wouldn’t make it any better.
“please sit down and fasten your seatbelts. we are descending into l.a. for landing,” the captain’s voice came over the speaker.
please return your seat tray to the upright and locked postion sydney thought. it was all so mechanical.
the plane landed. sydney found dixon as quickly as she could once she had gotten off the plane.
“dixon,” she started quietly.
he didn’t even need to hear it. “i know what you are going to say. i understand. your father and i have already discussed it,” he said.
“but i’m not going into witness protection,” she replied.
“no, of course not. there will obviously be some paperwork, some things you have to do. your father is taking care of most of it,” dixon explained.
“vaughn said that i was going to have to see doctor barnett, will i?” sydney asked.
“i think you might want to see someone, but i’m not going to force you to do it. it’s up to you,” he said. “it’s been amazing working with you sydney. you were the best partner anyone could ask for. losing you for those two years was hard, and i thank god every day that you are back.”
“oh, dixon. i love you too,” sydney bit back tears. she hugged dixon. “you are an amazing person. i’ll miss you.…i have to go find my dad.”
dixon nodded. with one last squeeze of the hand, sydney said goodbye to the one man who had never wavered from her side, who had never betrayed her. they parted ways. dixon headed home to his kids, sydney went off to talk to her father.
“sydney,” his voice was just as flat and stern as always.
she hugged him before he could say anything else. “i don’t even want to discuss it right now,” she said as she pulled away. “i’m going to go see sark and sloane and mccready for the last godforsaken time. and then i am going home, and taking a nice bubble bath and drinking a glass of red wine.”
jack gave her his smile; it was more like a frown, but it seemed all he was capable of. he nodded.
“i’ll call you tomorrow,” he said. he hugged her one more time.
she pulled her luggage along on its wheels and headed to the cells. she never wanted to see sark and sloane and mccready again, but she knew she needed to see them one last time to get them out of her life. she went to sloane first.
***
“ah, sydney my dear. come to visit me?” sloane asked.
he was so slimy, so evil.
“i just came to make sure it wasn’t all a dream. to make sure you really were in custody and you really were going to die,” she replied. “i’m leaving the agency.”
“going rogue?” he chuckled. “you could do many things.”
“no i’m not going rogue. i am starting over; forgetting about the agency, the alliance, sd-6. forgetting about you. it should be a good life,” she said.
he shook his head. “you are your mother’s child. beautiful, smart, capable. you – ”
“i don’t care. i don’t need to hear anything you have to say. i just wanted to see you. this way, every time before i go to bed i can think of you looking the way you do now, in the custody of the united states, and i will sleep peacefully and happily.”
sydney didn’t even wait for a respondse. she headed out the door and to sark’s cell.
***
“mr. julian sark. finally captured. i suppose you still have flexible loyalties?” she wondered.
“you say that so condescendingly. as though sydney bristow, with her impeccable morals and unbreakable loyalties, is so high above me, i am simply a dot in the distance to her. but i’m so glad you’ll drop to my level so we may converse,” he scoffed.
she just stood in front of him, silently.
“admiring how handsome i am are you agent bristow?”
“no, i’m taking you in. taking in the sight of sark, captured and in custody. i’ll always treasure this moment,” sydney replied.
“leaving the agency i assume?” sark asked.
“good assumption. now that you and sloane are being brought to justice, i have no reason to be here,” she explained.
“also leaving dear charles then?”
“i was never with charles. i was with a man named guy. he wasn’t what i thought,” sydney replied.
sark chuckled. “you always have a way to make it okay. you can compartmentalize anything.”
“good bye sark. for the last time, good bye.”
sydney left. only one room to go. but it was that room that she was afraid of. she took a deep breath and was ready.
***
you were all the things i thought i knew
and i thought we could be
you were everything everything that i wanted
we were meant to be supposed to be but we lost it
and as the memories so close to me just fade away
all this time you were pretending so much for my happy ending
she looked at him. he couldn’t even look her in the face. he stared at the flat metal table in front of him.
“i can’t believe you are so wracked by guilt when you see me. you work for sark and sloane, i should mean nothing to you,” sydney said.
“like you mean nothing to them? you don’t mean nothing to them. sloane wishes you were his daughter. and julian, well i haven’t quite figured it out yet. he is infatuated with you,” mccready replied.
“it doesn’t even matter anymore,” she shrugged. “i don’t care. i just needed to see you all one last time to get it out of my system.”
“one last time? i thought you were going to see sloane’s execution. and if sark or i cooperate, won’t you be working with us?” mccready asked.
“i don’t understand you. i’m not sure you care about me, i’m not sure you don’t. you aren’t as evil and slimy as sloane, but you aren’t sarcastic and cocky like sark. i just don’t understand you,” sydney said. “but to answer your question, no i won’t be working with you. i’m leaving the agency.”
mccready looked at her. one last time she looked deep into his swirling green eyes. then she broke the stare.
“good bye.”
she left the room. as soon as she was in the hallway, vaughn was by her side. she smiled at him.
“i heard you were here,” he said. he took her suitcase for her that she hadn’t bothered to put in her car yet.
“yeah. just had to see them all one last time. now i’m really free,” sydney replied.
vaughn nodded. they walked to their cars together. when they stepped out of the elevator into the parking garage, vaughn stopped. he set down her suitcase, and he suddenly kissed sydney. it was deep and passionate, and she returned the kiss. he smiled when he pulled away, took her hands in his.
“the kings are playing the avalanche on wednesday,” he beamed. “wanna go?”
she smiled but pulled her hands out of his.
“vaughn, i loved you. i loved you more than i ever thought i could love someone. then i lost you. and while i always had faith that we could be together again, now that i have the chance, i’m not as sure. i want out of the cia, completely. i want to live in a normal town with a normal job and have a normal life. i need to start over. completely start over. and i’m sorry, but this is the way it has to be,” sydney explained.
he nodded. “i understand. and i wish you the best.” the three little wrinkles in his forehead were all that gave away how deeply saddened he was.
we were meant to live for so much more
we want more than this world’s got to offer
we want more than this world’s got to offer
we want more than the wars of our fathers
and everything inside screams for second life
“this was never what i wanted. i wanted to be a teacher, like my mother. i never wanted my mother to have killed anyone, i never wanted my father to kill anyone, i never wanted to kill anyone. people i love have died too many times for me to stay in this. i have to get out,” she said.
maybe we’ve been livin’ with our eyes half open
maybe we’re bent and broken, broken
“while i have gone so many places and done so many things, it’s not what i wanted. i haven’t taken time to actually appreciate the eiffel tower when i was in paris. i was always too busy focusing on the mission. i’ve never gone into the grand canyon on the back of a donkey or mule or whatever they are. i’ve never been able to lie on foreign beaches in the sun, not worrying about work, or family or anything else. it’s like, even with as much as i have done, i haven’t really lived. it’s time for me to live.”
“well, if you ever get sick of living,” vaughn chuckled, “you can always come back and not live with me. seriously i would love to not live with you anytime you felt like it.”
“you know i won’t. i mean – ”
“shh,” he silenced her with a finger to the lips. “if i don’t have false hope, i don’t have anything.”
sydney laughed and nodded. she kissed him on the cheek, took her suitcase, and started for her car. as she walked to her car, she smiled to herself. life was going to change, but she wasn’t afraid. she was still smiling as she started the car. her mouth formed the words to the dave matthews songs as they floated from the speakers. and she drove out of the cia parking garage for the last time as an agent.
for once, none of this was about anything or anyone else. it wasn’t about the agency. it wasn’t about taking down the bad guys, getting the good guys whatever they needed to win. now it was about her. it was about sydney bristow. it wasn’t about danny or will or noah or vaughn or guy. it wasn’t for a man, it wasn’t for a friend. it wasn’t for her father. it was for her. plain and simple, for no one else, just for her. she wasn’t going to stay with the agency, and she wasn’t going into witness protection. she was going to lok through the paper, find a new apartment. maybe she would move to a different city. she would start over. get a cat, find a normal job, live peacefully. maybe she would meet someone, start a family. whatever happened was going to happen. she was going to go with the flow, play the cards she was dealt. and that, just that, was going to make her happy.
well, i suppose this is goodbye. i'll be back with thanks for all of my loyal readers
. i've really had fun with this story and some of the twists, i didn't even realize were going to happen until they happened. a big group thanks to all of you for always giving me encouragement and reason to keep writing. i realized i didn't write all the songs i used so here they are.
this chapter: switchfoot "meant to live" & (as much as i hate it) avril lavigne "my happy ending" & jack johnson "losing hope"
chapter ten: maroon5 "tangled"
chapter eight: maroon5 "she will be loved"
chapter six: hoobastank "reason"
thanks again, you guys have been great. hope you like
m-c
iLoVeAgEnTvAuGhN
Cadet
That was a good ending. I loved it. Thanks for a great fic.
I am devoid of all interesting comments. I have turned into a horrible reviewer. Real Life is quite busy now...
Sorry for the lack of review on the last chapter. I loved the twist with Mac, and the taking down of Sloane.
It might be interesting to see an epilogue () with Sydney in her normal life...but you are the boss of this story after all
Wonderful job.
Sorry for the lack of review on the last chapter. I loved the twist with Mac, and the taking down of Sloane.
It might be interesting to see an epilogue (
) with Sydney in her normal life...but you are the boss of this story after all Wonderful job.
sydneyalias
Cadet
iNTERESTING!!! UNIQUE FIC ...um...syd tentatively ending up with nobody, not even vaughn in the end was interesting....
keep it up!!!
aliasaddict ^_^
UNIQUE FIC ...um...syd tentatively ending up with nobody, not even vaughn in the end was interesting....keep it up!!!
aliasaddict ^_^