Agent_Goodnight
Cadet
lol this is made up but I got it off a site!
<span style='font-size:21pt;line-height:100%'>Top Tens
Top Ten Ways Syd Celebrates Christmas</span>
<span style='font-size:14pt;line-height:100%'>10. Stocks up on mistletoe to use during meetings with Vaughn.
9. Wears a Santa hat with every disguise.
8. Forms a plan to find the Grinch and expose his connection to SD-6.
7. Sets her cell phone to ring to the tune of the song Sleigh Ride.
6. Gives Sloane a fruitcake. (Fights the urge to beat him with it.)
5. All alibis contain the words "reindeer" or "merry."
4. Refuses missions to anywhere but the North Pole.
3. Prefers to use the code name Silent Night.
2. Gift wraps her dead drops to the CIA.
1. Exclaims "And to all a good night!" as she shoots at bad guys and flees. </span>
<span style='font-size:21pt;line-height:100%'>Sloane's Top Ten Hints for a Festive Holiday Season**</span>
<span style='font-size:14pt;line-height:100%'>10. Not enough chairs at the table? Kill one of the guests.
9. A fake severed finger in the stuffing is a sure laugh-getter.
8. Tell visitors that when the timer pops up on the turkey, they have ten seconds before it explodes.
7. Question the pumpkin for secrets as you cut it up and make a pie.
6. Claim that the turkey's death was a mercy killing.
5. Reenact the story of the Pilgrims' first cranberry sauce weapon.
4. At end of meal, stand up and proclaim, "You must tell no one about this!"
3. Organize a covert operation to remove lumps from the mashed potatoes.
2. Blackmail relatives by threatening to reveal their secret recipes
1. Two words: gravy bomb. </span>
<span style='font-size:21pt;line-height:100%'>Top Ten Least Impressive Marshall Gadgets</span>
<span style='font-size:14pt;line-height:100%'>10. Digital clock that is also a radio
9. Cuff links shaped like dice
8. Wet-dry beard trimmer with night vision
7. Football-shaped phone
6. Glove-compartment Slurpee machine
5. Super-itchy pants
4. Pepper grinder that dispenses a little too much pepper
3. Self-cleaning Isotoner gloves
2. More-realistic-than-usual rubber vomit
1. Stapler with hidden scotch-tape dispenser
Top Ten Rejected Names for 'Alias'</span>
10. Days of our Spies
9. My So-Called Job
8. Bristow 'N Bristow
7. Lifestyles of the Mean and Nasty
6. Sloane in Charge
5. My Two Lives
4. Suspicious Minds
3. Who Wants To Be A Double Agent?
2. Sydney and The Man
1. Two Guys, A Girl and The CIA
</span>
<span style='font-size:21pt;line-height:100%'>Top Ten Signs You're Not a Bristow</span>
<span style='font-size:14pt;line-height:100%'>10. You don't own a single wig.
9. You trust members of your family.
8. You're in little danger of being investigated by the FBI.
7. The coolest gadget at your disposal is a staple remover.
6. You haven't been betrayed by anyone in the last week.
5. You speak only one language.
4. Telling other people about your job does not guarantee their untimely demise.
3. You can't remember the last time you were on an airplane.
2. Not once have you been accused of betraying your country.
1. You are happily involved in a relationship. </span>
<span style='font-size:21pt;line-height:100%'>Top Ten Things To Do While Alias Isn't On
During the Summer</span>
<span style='font-size:14pt;line-height:100%'>10. Whenever the phone rings, pick it up and whisper, "I'm ready."
9. Take classes to learn other languages, so you'll be prepared for the new season of Alias.
8. If a guy shows up at your office to do repairs, put him in a headlock and demand to know who sent him.
7. One word: stakeout.
6. Explore the comfort of inflatable furniture.
5. Say "Sometimes the truth hurts" whenever you hear the word "truth."
4. Wear a disguise when you leave the house.
3. Make friends with a reporter and tearfully ask him to stop working on a story.
2. Travel from room to room by way of the air ducts.
1. Ask everyone you meet if they'll be your handler. </span>
<span style='font-size:21pt;line-height:100%'>Ten More Things To Do While Alias Isn't On
During the Summer</span>
<span style='font-size:14pt;line-height:100%'>10. For one entire day each week, speak only lines that have been said on Alias.
9. Take up running, because you never know when you'll have to make a quick exit.
8. Whenever you can, change clothes in the restroom of a public building.
7. Begin work on your own spy gadgets.
6. Obtain a life-sized photo of Dr. Barnett and tell it all of your problems.
5. Pray that your boss never says he thinks of you as his own child.
4. Travel the world - or the Internet if you're on a budget - looking for locations where Alias episodes were filmed.
3. Reply "Where did you obtain your intel?" at any point that seems appropriate.
2. Practice your Sultry Lounge Singer act.
1. Spend time looking for ways you can save the world and/or right wrongs.</span>
<span style='font-size:21pt;line-height:100%'>Top Ten Signs You're a Bad Spy </span>
<span style='font-size:14pt;line-height:100%'>10. You often ask people, "Mind if I spy on you for a sec?"
9. Your photos of secret documents are all just close-ups of your thumb.
8. Your name: "Billy." Your secret code name: "Double-0-Billy."
7. Concealed within your umbrella is a slightly smaller umbrella.
6. Always order your malt liquor shaken, not stirred.
5. You keep accidentally chewing your plastic explosives.
4. Instead of trench coat, you wear a lovely pink bathrobe.
3. On your passport, occupation listed as "not a spy, that's for damn sure!"
2. You look through wrong end of your telescope and report that "them Russians is tiny."
1. You recently defected to K-Mart. </span>
:sideroll:
<span style='font-size:21pt;line-height:100%'>Top Tens
Top Ten Ways Syd Celebrates Christmas</span>
<span style='font-size:14pt;line-height:100%'>10. Stocks up on mistletoe to use during meetings with Vaughn.
9. Wears a Santa hat with every disguise.
8. Forms a plan to find the Grinch and expose his connection to SD-6.
7. Sets her cell phone to ring to the tune of the song Sleigh Ride.
6. Gives Sloane a fruitcake. (Fights the urge to beat him with it.)
5. All alibis contain the words "reindeer" or "merry."
4. Refuses missions to anywhere but the North Pole.
3. Prefers to use the code name Silent Night.
2. Gift wraps her dead drops to the CIA.
1. Exclaims "And to all a good night!" as she shoots at bad guys and flees. </span>
<span style='font-size:21pt;line-height:100%'>Sloane's Top Ten Hints for a Festive Holiday Season**</span>
<span style='font-size:14pt;line-height:100%'>10. Not enough chairs at the table? Kill one of the guests.
9. A fake severed finger in the stuffing is a sure laugh-getter.
8. Tell visitors that when the timer pops up on the turkey, they have ten seconds before it explodes.
7. Question the pumpkin for secrets as you cut it up and make a pie.
6. Claim that the turkey's death was a mercy killing.
5. Reenact the story of the Pilgrims' first cranberry sauce weapon.
4. At end of meal, stand up and proclaim, "You must tell no one about this!"
3. Organize a covert operation to remove lumps from the mashed potatoes.
2. Blackmail relatives by threatening to reveal their secret recipes
1. Two words: gravy bomb. </span>
<span style='font-size:21pt;line-height:100%'>Top Ten Least Impressive Marshall Gadgets</span>
<span style='font-size:14pt;line-height:100%'>10. Digital clock that is also a radio
9. Cuff links shaped like dice
8. Wet-dry beard trimmer with night vision
7. Football-shaped phone
6. Glove-compartment Slurpee machine
5. Super-itchy pants
4. Pepper grinder that dispenses a little too much pepper
3. Self-cleaning Isotoner gloves
2. More-realistic-than-usual rubber vomit
1. Stapler with hidden scotch-tape dispenser
Top Ten Rejected Names for 'Alias'</span>
10. Days of our Spies
9. My So-Called Job
8. Bristow 'N Bristow
7. Lifestyles of the Mean and Nasty
6. Sloane in Charge
5. My Two Lives
4. Suspicious Minds
3. Who Wants To Be A Double Agent?
2. Sydney and The Man
1. Two Guys, A Girl and The CIA
</span>
<span style='font-size:21pt;line-height:100%'>Top Ten Signs You're Not a Bristow</span>
<span style='font-size:14pt;line-height:100%'>10. You don't own a single wig.
9. You trust members of your family.
8. You're in little danger of being investigated by the FBI.
7. The coolest gadget at your disposal is a staple remover.
6. You haven't been betrayed by anyone in the last week.
5. You speak only one language.
4. Telling other people about your job does not guarantee their untimely demise.
3. You can't remember the last time you were on an airplane.
2. Not once have you been accused of betraying your country.
1. You are happily involved in a relationship. </span>
<span style='font-size:21pt;line-height:100%'>Top Ten Things To Do While Alias Isn't On
During the Summer</span>
<span style='font-size:14pt;line-height:100%'>10. Whenever the phone rings, pick it up and whisper, "I'm ready."
9. Take classes to learn other languages, so you'll be prepared for the new season of Alias.
8. If a guy shows up at your office to do repairs, put him in a headlock and demand to know who sent him.
7. One word: stakeout.
6. Explore the comfort of inflatable furniture.
5. Say "Sometimes the truth hurts" whenever you hear the word "truth."
4. Wear a disguise when you leave the house.
3. Make friends with a reporter and tearfully ask him to stop working on a story.
2. Travel from room to room by way of the air ducts.
1. Ask everyone you meet if they'll be your handler. </span>
<span style='font-size:21pt;line-height:100%'>Ten More Things To Do While Alias Isn't On
During the Summer</span>
<span style='font-size:14pt;line-height:100%'>10. For one entire day each week, speak only lines that have been said on Alias.
9. Take up running, because you never know when you'll have to make a quick exit.
8. Whenever you can, change clothes in the restroom of a public building.
7. Begin work on your own spy gadgets.
6. Obtain a life-sized photo of Dr. Barnett and tell it all of your problems.
5. Pray that your boss never says he thinks of you as his own child.
4. Travel the world - or the Internet if you're on a budget - looking for locations where Alias episodes were filmed.
3. Reply "Where did you obtain your intel?" at any point that seems appropriate.
2. Practice your Sultry Lounge Singer act.
1. Spend time looking for ways you can save the world and/or right wrongs.</span>
<span style='font-size:21pt;line-height:100%'>Top Ten Signs You're a Bad Spy </span>
<span style='font-size:14pt;line-height:100%'>10. You often ask people, "Mind if I spy on you for a sec?"
9. Your photos of secret documents are all just close-ups of your thumb.
8. Your name: "Billy." Your secret code name: "Double-0-Billy."
7. Concealed within your umbrella is a slightly smaller umbrella.
6. Always order your malt liquor shaken, not stirred.
5. You keep accidentally chewing your plastic explosives.
4. Instead of trench coat, you wear a lovely pink bathrobe.
3. On your passport, occupation listed as "not a spy, that's for damn sure!"
2. You look through wrong end of your telescope and report that "them Russians is tiny."
1. You recently defected to K-Mart. </span>
:sideroll:
