I Can't Love You



This is my first time during fan fic. It's about syd and vaughn after he got married 2 lauren. please post comments. sorry if it isn't good :thinking:

I Can’t Love You

Chapter 1
Michael sat on the edge of the bed, sunk in deep thought. He took a short glance at his sleeping wife Lauren. He loved her, but he never did love her as much as he loved Sydney. Never.

Suddenly his whole life seemed to flash in front of him. The day he shared that first kiss with Syd, the day that he discovered Syd was so-called dead, the day he met Lauren, the moment when he had married Lauren, and the moment that he found out Syd was alive. In that single hour of his life he had experienced more happiness than ever when he discovered she was alive and more pain than any of his injuries when he had told her that he was married. He still could remember her expression; of utter pain and sadness the moment he had broken the news to her. He reminisced on that day, where he had returned home to his wife feeling like an absolute fool, like life had cheated him.

He suddenly felt complete regret for marrying Lauren, a sensation that had come up from time to time ever since Syd showed up alive. He shook his head. Moments of his past had haunted him for those empty two years. His life wasn’t so empty now after knowing that Syd was alive. Yet it would only be complete if Syd understood that his heart ached for her, that he still loved her forever even if he was married.

He stole another glance at Lauren. How he wished that Syd could be in Lauren’s place, how they could be happy together. Instead, here he was, thinking about love; the last thing CIA operatives should think about. Forget CIA agent, Michael, you’re a human. You’re supposed to be thinking about love. He buried his face in his hands. When he had first started out at the CIA all he wanted to do was protect his country. Now all he wanted to do was disappear.
*

Sydney sat down in the plane, with the mission info on her lap. She set it down on the table, and took out a pen. Across her she knew Michael Vaughn had a fixed stare on her. Pretty easy trying to review the mission when the love of your life is staring at you, she thought. She looked down at the info, sometimes glancing up at him and flashing a smile. He had a worried expression on his face, like always when they went on missions together.
“Need any help?” he said.
“No, not really?” she replied. Even though she really wanted his help.
“Okay,” he said. “You know, Marshall wanted me to give you the op-tech.” Sydney looked up. During mission briefing she had wondered when Marshall was about to give the op-tech.
“What is it?” she asked, immersing herself in the mission info. She couldn’t bear to look straight into his eyes. Every time she did she could see the complex emotions buried inside him staring back at her. Before he could answer, a voice crackled over the radio. “Landing in five. “I’ll give it to you later,” Michael whispered. Sydney smiled yet again and packed her things hurriedly into her suitcase. She loved it when he whispered. His voice was like music to her, even when he was angry. Sydney remembered when they used to meet in an old warehouse for counter-mission briefings. That was when SD-6 wasn’t destroyed yet. When they had their disagreements they would yell at each other at the same time and finally one would draw back, realizing the other was correct. Usually he was correct.
Sydney could feel the plane landing. Michael was staring out of the window, his eyebrows arched down. Sydney wondered if he had been getting enough sleep. By the looks of it, probably not much. Sydney couldn’t help asking, “Are you okay?”
“Yeah, sure,” he said, quickly looking away from the window. Sydney wished she could wipe the unhappy expression off his face. She wanted to see him smile like when they used to play ice hockey together. In happier times. Sydney looked down at her sandals. She could have sworn she heard a soft sigh from him.
*
Michael parked his car into his usual parking space. His wife Lauren took off her seatbelt and opened the door, sulking. Apparently they had a fight that morning. Michael unbuckled his seatbelt then slammed the door after he went out. Lauren pushed a strand of blonde hair behind her ear and adjusted the coat of her dark blue business suit. Michael swung his briefcase irritably as he walked. Lauren walked behind him, and just seemed to fiddle with everything she had on. They walked into their office building together, both silent. They greeted people that they knew with a tinge of bitterness. Michael headed off to his desk without saying a word, still glaring at Lauren who headed off in a different direction. Eric Weiss leant close to him.
“What’s up with you two?”
“Nothing,” Michael mumbled. “Michael, I’ve been your partner for years. Had a fight with her?” Eric asked. Michael nodded. They did have a major argument that morning. “Was it about Syd?” Eric asked again. “No,” Michael answered quickly in defense. “Since when did you and Lauren fight about anything else besides Syd?” Michael stacked a few papers on his desk.
“Well, since this morning. Now will you drop it?”
“Fine, fine. Even though you did fight about Syd.” Eric went back to doing his work. It’s miraculous how he knows, Michael thought. The last thing he wanted Weiss to think was that he still loved Syd, even though he did.
Michael looked at his in-tray. There were only two sheets of paper in there. He had read both. He looked up at the ceiling and tapped his fingers on his desk. Then Syd walked in. “Hi,” she muttered to Marcus Dixon, who had congratulated her on the mission. He had received several compliments that morning on the mission’s success. Just as he was starting to drift away in his daydreams, he realized that there was a new paper in his in-tray. He started reading when he felt someone’s hand on his back. “Hey Vaughn, mission briefing’s in five minutes.” He turned around in his chair. It was Weiss. He smiled his most convincing fake smile, then got up after Weiss left his chair. He headed to the meeting room and saw Lauren’s blonde head in front of him.
*
On the next mission, Michael and Sydney were supposed to infiltrate a bank in Switzerland. Michael and Sydney walked along the corridor disguised as husband and wife. Sydney almost wished they were. Michael was so dominating. He walked cautiously down a corridor. Sydney followed, making sure they weren’t followed.
Suddenly Sydney heard voices. “Vaughn!” she whispered. He looked back, his green eyes looking worried. She beckoned backwards. He looked behind, grabbed her hand and dashed into the nearest door. It was a tiny closet. They were almost squeezed together.
“Stay here,” Michael whispered, letting her hand go and taking his gun out. Sydney loved the way he seemed to care. It was like old times, when they were together. He got out of the closet and shut the door. Sydney heard gunshots, then a loud groan. Was that Vaughn? Did he groan? Is he okay? Sydney’s mind was racing. She pushed the door open. Lying on the floor was a black leather coat.
 
sorry people if it isn't good. if u like it, i'll post a new chapter soon! thanks if u read it.
max
and im a gurl
 
Like it? I LOVE it! This is great. I hope Vaughn is ok, and that last scene was really cute. Stupid Lauren, get rid of her. Love your story, and please continue soon, I really, really can't wait to read what happens next. Can I get a pm when you update. It's excellent! (y)

Love ya,

Penny :angelic:
 
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