(FINALLLYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY) ^_^
Infinite Skies
Part II
Why must life be so hard? Why do I have to get pushed down just after I get up? Why do I have to get up? I feel like I’m going no where in my life. It’s like I take two baby steps forwards and 5 adult steps backwards. Will anything go right for me? These thoughts whirl through Sydney’s head as she stares at the open road. A sidelong glance assures her that her ever faithful cat Lorna, a.k.a Lorry, was sound asleep on the towel next to her.
It’d only been a few days since she’d left LA. Where she was now was anyone’s guess, she’d seen so many signs go by she’d thought they may as well be the crosses you see on those little dirt roads in the middle of no where. If she knew one thing though, it was that she was glad to be away from her old life, to finally take a break. She’d left her cell phone at her house so no one could reach her. She left behind all links to her past so she could forget it for a while.
Sydney figures she’s out of California by now, maybe in Arizona, maybe in Nevada, she wasn’t sure. All that mattered was that she had Lorry and they were alone. Her lips curve upwards a bit at the thought of her companion. With Vaughn and her father dead, Lorry was her favorite person, okay living being, in the entire world. At the thought of Vaughn her spirits darkened. Her mood changed and her eyes had the look of absolute grief and desolation.
Sometimes things just have to get so damned hard for me, I just don’t get it, her mind screamed. What the hell did I do? she wonders, grilling herself for answers. Then there’s always the question, will I go back? Sydney honestly had no idea. When she first had the impulse to leave it was just for a little while. But now as time passes she just wants to stay away forever. Bad things seemed to hang around that L.A. It wasn’t like she wanted to stay away... but she didn’t exactly feel like going back. Ugh, why do things have to be so hard? If only Vaughn were here... everything would be better.
Tears start to prick at her eyes, her vision blurs. The car swerves a bit from her lack of clarity, in both eyesight and in mind, nearly running off the road. The sharp turns wake Lorry up and she hops onto Sydney’s lap, pawing frantically at her. Pulling over to the side of the road, she stops the car. Dropping her head in her hands, she moans. “What am I doing out here?” She wonders aloud, knowing the answer. It was her idea in the first place. Sort of the spur of the moment thing really. For a moment she keeps her face buried into the palm of her hands, not thinking, not breathing, not even moving.
Lorna looks up from her position on Sydney’s lap. Seeing her owner in such distress, she puts her two front paws on her chest and rubs her head against Sydney’s chin, the way she always did. And as she always did, Sydney looked into her cat’s eyes, wondering just how intelligent Lorry really was and temporarily putting her pain and memories aside. “You’re right girl,” she said, stroking her kitty’s head. “We can’t just stop out here in the middle of no where, can we?” Starting up the car, she pulls back onto the road, this time with Lorry right beside her.
More signs go by, the sun begins to start it’s descent into the mountains. Sydney takes no notice and continues driving, flipping turn signals randomly when she reached a stop sign. It wasn’t until two hours after the sun went down that she finally realizes she needs to find a hotel or something, somewhere she and Lorry can stay for the night. As if on cue, a small inn rolls into view. “Hey, just our luck,” she muses. “For once it’s not our bad luck,” she adds, muttering. “Okay you, get in there,” she tells Lorry. Lorry gives her a pleading look in return. “I swear if you were a dog I’d give in every time I got that look. I know you don’t want to go in your carrier, but it’s just for a bit.” Propping the crate door open, she gives Lorry a little push in.
Taking a moment to look the place over before getting out, she sees it’s just one building. The kind of motel that only has 3 or 4 guests at a time. A Bed and Breakfast or whatever they’re called. It was a rustic place, with a quaint charm to it. There was literally nothing surrounding the place, the miles just stretched out before her, an infinite amount of ground. Not infinite, she reminds herself. Everything has an end. Looking back at the house, she saw a light on and decided she may as well go in now instead of sitting around in her truck.
After securing the enclose, she walks into the office. There’s only two people in there. One was a little dark haired boy, sleeping on a chair, blanket thrown over him. The other was an elderly woman, her skin hung loosely on her frame, her graying, almost white hair was pulled back. She pretty much looked like the grandma everyone wished was in their family. The older lady looked up from the front desk and smiled warmly. “Welcome to Liber Inn,” she said. “Gettin’ pretty dark out there, isn’t it?”
Sydney stared blankly for a few seconds. Is she trying to have a conversation with me? Duh Syd, she rolled her eyes at herself. “Yeah. I barely noticed it though.” The old woman smiled knowingly.
“Got a lot on you mind?” She asked, smiling kindly. Sydney just nodded wordlessly, her voice was too thick to reply. “Well,” she said, clapping her hands together, “Are you looking for a room?”
Clearing her throat, she puts on a mask. “Yes, I am. Do you have any rooms available?”
“Plenty,” she answers. “Well, just two actually, the other one is occupied. Anyhow, I’m sure you don’t want to hear me start babbling on far into the morning,” she says laughing slightly. “How many people?” she inquires, a pen poised to write the information on her bill.
Sydney’s heart falls a bit. “Just... just one,” she answers softly. Do not do this, she warns herself. That was a perfectly reasonable question, there’s no reason to get all moony about it. Of course, there wasn’t. There wasn’t if she was getting a room for two. Her heart clenches.
Surprised, the lady looks up. “Just one?” A look at Sydney’s pained face has comprehension running her over. “Oh, I see,” she says quietly. Trying to muster herself back together, she plows through the rest of the questions and then some. “Any pets? How long will you be staying? Would you like anything in the mornings? I make breakfast for the guests,” she realizes she must be rambling. Sydney’s still mute, looking down at her hands. “Oh, dear,” the woman mutters. “I’m terribly sorry about your loss. I know what it’s like.”
Sydney’s head snaps up, and angry retort on the tip of her tongue. Before any words fly from her mouth, she sees the woman is actually sincere. Sydney can see the pain registering on her face, the misery in her eyes. Her furious temper vanishes. She wants to ask, but they both know within these few moments that neither want to talk about it. “One,” she says suddenly. The woman looks up, confused. “One pet,” she repeats. The lady starts scribbling away on her pad. “I’m not sure how long I’ll stay. Maybe a few days, maybe. . .” she trails off.
Silence swallows the air around them once more. “May I have your name please?” the woman asks. “By the way, my name is Becca,” she adds, a warm smile flashing across her face.
Sydney briefly considers using an alias, but she finds herself saying, “Sydney. Sydney Bristow.” Bristow. The last bit made her feel like she had been run over by a truck. Twice. When did I become Sydney Bristow? she wondered desperately. I was always, and will always be Sydney Vaughn. The thought of using her maiden name saddened her so much, she felt disturbed at what a simple thing could do. Lost in her thoughts for a few moments, she looks up to see that Becca is watching her quite intently. She must have asked a question. “I’m sorry?” Sydney asks.
“I was saying dear,” she said quickly, “that if you waned to go get your bags and your pet, I’d show you to your room.” Disconcerted between the dreams and reality, she nodded and strode out the door, back to her truck. Muttering to herself quietly, she watches the ground roll underneath her as she walks on. Everything seems to keep rolling along no matter what. Even if she stopped walking, the world would keep rolling. And yet, it would roll even when she was walking. Was there any difference? Did she really need to keep going? Certainly nothing needed her around to help them roll along. Realizing how ridiculous these thoughts were, she pushes them out of her mind.
Looking up, she sees Lorry, escaped from her carrier and watching her intently. Smiling, Sydney opens her truck door and pulls a few bags out. “Back in there you,” she tells her cat affectionately. “We’ll have our talks later, I have other things to take care of.” She gives Lorry a small push back in. Picking her cage up by the handle, she loads the bags into her arms and starts back into the office.
She’s lead upstairs to her room, Becca tells her breakfast will be at 8 tomorrow morning. Sydney just nods mindlessly, her mind on other things. She barely even notices when Becca leaves, jumping when the door shuts. Coming back to her senses, she drops her things, she opens the door to Lorry’s carrier to let her out. The cat immediately bounds over to the bed and flops down, ready for sleep. Not wanting to disturb her cat, Sydney goes to her window, staring out at the blackness covering the world.
Random thoughts and feelings enter her mind, and she just lets them come. There’s no bother trying to stay with one and answer it. She wouldn’t be able to figure it out anyway. So she just leans against the wall and continues staring out at the infinite nothing. For once she doesn’t correct herself, because nothing is infinite.
Her eyes remain motionless as the feeling of despair and melancholy sweep over her, accompanied by the blanket of loneliness. Barely breathing, she stays there for hours, just letting herself think, letting herself be completely alone.
Sydney Vaughn... :
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