it was only a dream


welcome home
Mar 29, 2004
Ontario, Canada
Season/Timeline: it's really up to you, but i was thinking season 2
Situation/Plot: sydney thinking about how similar she and sark are. you can put in some sarkney if you want, it depends on how you write the story. u can neva really tell until u write the story, but do love sarkney
Shipper: sarkney
Song: 'I Am' by Killing Heidi

A/N- It’s sorta a dream sequence that you’ll understand at the end…just read it….also I am adding another song into it. ‘Shadow’ By Britney Spears…also- the name Ashley is a dedication to my good friend Ashley ((shotput25ash))…what else do you need to know…this is happening in season 2, but some things are out of place. If you have questions just ask.

‘oh my god, why the hell am I thinking about this???’ Sydney thought to herself as she sat in a daze in her apartment. “that damned bastard, I loved him and this is how he repays me? He runs back to that Alice woman whenever she calls his God damned name! He broke my heart, and out of all the things I could have forgiven him for- I cant forgive him for this” Sydney told herself outloud. ‘talking to yourself now Sydney, god, you have issues right about now’ She thought as she stood up and walked out of her apartment. She had running clothes on so she just broke out into a sprint.

I Know, I know, I know, I know,
What you'd say
I know, I know, I know, I know
All the, games, you play
I am, I am, I am, I am
Not afraid coz
I know, I know, I know, I know
What to say

Sydney ran for as long as she could, she didn’t know where the hell she was but she heard footsteps behind her. ‘what the hell?’ she thought to herself ‘its 3 in the god damned morning, who would be up or running this early?’
Sydney turned a corner and stopped, no matter what her spy skills hadn’t faltered- they never would. Even though she had left LA and that life, she hadn’t forgotten, she hadn’t forgotten the betrayal by everyone she thought she could trust. She couldn’t forget the connection she had made with someone she thought she could NEVER trust. She let out a long sigh, she didn’t know what to do. It had been a year, nothing had changed, the pain was still the same.

And I am, out on my own,
Moving in shadow, nobody knows who I am,
Standing alone,
And that's me, but you can't see, whoa oh

Sydney didn’t know what to do she started up running again and hit a shadowy figure.
“sorry-” she mumbled and put her head down, with the intention of continuing on her run.
“excuse me miss” a mans voice asked as she started up again.
“yes?” Sydney swung her head around, content on not letting him see her puffy red eyes and not even looking up to see who it was.
“im looking for a certain individual, do you think you could help me?” the man asked her.
“well, sir, its 3 in the morning, I doubt that individual will be awake…” Sydney laughed and shook her head slightly.
“well you are. Anyway- im looking for a teacher, I’ve been looking for her for a while. Theres something I need to let her know. Her name is Ashley Lucyk” the man told her, she looked up slightly.
“-well, sir you’ve found her, what exactly do you need to ‘do’ to me?” Sydney laughed, she let down her ‘spy’ mechanics and looked into the man’s eyes, they were so familiar, but she couldn’t pinpoint where she had seen them in the past. She let out another long sigh before paying attention to the man once again.
“-Well, Sydney, its been a while…but I’ve found you, there are several things I could do right now” his thick accent came out and Sydney immediately recognized it.
So close but you don't know
It's me, but you can't see
“-sark” Sydney turned to run but he grabbed her arm. Bringing her close to him, there lips, mere centimeters apart.
“your not leaving, I said I had several options of what to do, wouldn’t you care to hear them?” Sydney could feel his breath on her, it sent shivers down her spine.
“what are they sark? I mean rumour is you’re the CIA’s new top asset…what the hell could you want with me?” Sydney asked bitterly, since she had left, sark had become ‘reformed’ and ‘good’ he was there top agent. She couldn’t believe that HE was now the good one and SHE was on the run; not illegally, but she kept leaving places as people came too close. Vaughn, well, he ran back to Alice, just like he always did, she loved him, but she couldn’t bare to see him being with her. After she left, he came looking, and he found her multiple times, but it didn’t change anything. Finally, he go the message, she didn’t want him. She needed him, but she didn’t want him in her life anymore. There just wasn’t room. However, this is the only place she hadn’t been found yet and she was content, not happy but content, sometimes she wondered if Vaughn even bothered to look for her, or her dad, or even her mother- Irina Derevko.
“Sydney, I didn’t come here because the CIA sanctioned something. If you must no I took some vacation and came to find you…I needed, I needed to see how you are. I know the whole Vaughn thing shook you pretty bad. But you just ran, people are still looking for you…” his voice trailed off.
“but only the best could find me right” Sydney gave him a sarcastic smile.
“-I don’t believe you found yourself Agent Bristow”
“when did we get so formal?” Sydney sniped.
“Listen, why don’t we go somewhere that we can actually talk? Your place perhaps?” Sark suggested, unsure of the reaction he would get.
“Alright” Sydney told him before starting to walk in the direction of her apartment.
“you know Sydney, I do have a vehicle” Sark gestured to the BMW parked behind him.
“you always did travel in style” Sydney mumbled before walking towards the car, lost in her thoughts. Surprisingly, her thoughts didn’t drift back to Vaughn, they drifted back to Sark, all the time’s they had met up on missions, all the similarities to them. They thought the same way, they were both driven, although at the time they were driven for completely opposite sides. It struck Sydney as odd how she had never before realized that she and Julian Sark were like the male and female version of each other.
“whats on your mind Bristow?” Sark asked as he started up the car.
Sydney was startled out of her thoughts- “nothing, not that you’d care” Sydney spat back, she didn’t really understand why she was being so mean to him, but she figured it was her defense mechanism, she didn’t have to get too close to anyone.
So close but you don't know,
And it's me but your never gonna see who I am,
So close but you don't know,
And it's me but you just can't see who I am.
“Sydney- I think you know why im here” Sark told her as he pulled up to what he already knew was her house, he had driven by the complex about 15 times that evening. Wanting to knock, but never going through with it.
“Come in sark- we’ll talk there” Sydney told him with a smile, it was more of a half smile, so it could be considered a smirk. Sark laughed.
‘was that Sydney Bristow using MY trademark smirk??’ he thought to himself as he walked to the door and entered her townhome.
“Home sweet home” Sydney smiled as she ushered him into the living room. He didn’t really look around. He had a point to get to and he intended to do it!
“so- julian, what were you here for if its not business?” Sydney asked ‘wow, did I just call him julian?’ she thought to herself.
“I needed to do something…as I told you on the street” Sark told her.
“What was that?” She asked still standing in front of him, beside her leather sofa.
“this” Sark took in a deep breath and moved closer to her, he gently kissed her, Sydneys mind didn’t know how to react, but her heart did, she gently wrapped her arms around him and kissed him back with a fierce passion that was practically undescribable.
“Sark” Sydney gently moaned as he moved his kisses down to her neck and gently pushed her down on the couch. He may have started working for the good guys, but he hadn’t turned soft in the least.
“Sark” Sydney mumbled it again before she felt the need to push him off.
“what?” he whispered, his eyes were closed and Sydney noticed how at peace he looked, like nothing had ever hurt him. But she knew better, she knew that so much had hurt him and that it was a reality neither of them could ignore, she didn’t want to hurt him.
Sydney didn’t want to just take him to bed, it wasn’t her style. She wanted him to be there with her.
“-Can we just talk?” Sydney asked as she pulled Julian’s arms around her on the couch.
“anything” Julian whispered as he pulled Sydney closer to him. He didn’t really care what they did either, he always felt so content when he was with her, even when they were aiming guns at eachother.
“how are things…there?” Sydney whispered, pulling her head further into Julian’s chest.
“been better, they did lose there best agent, but I suppose I know exactly what or should I say WHO your asking about. He’s doing okay, he misses you a great deal, resents’ me just as much and he’s trying to deal with it all. He’s confused and he wants someone he loves to listen to him. What did you expect Sydney?” Julian asked as he gently played with the hair on the top of her head.
Sydney gulped, she didn’t know what she expected. “I don’t know” she answered honestly before abruptly changing the subject. “How long are you on vacation for?”
“as long as I want. I’m Julian Lazarey, they need me, I do what I want” He laughed and again kissed Sydney’s forehead.
“I wish they acted that way with me” Sydney let out a small laugh and a deep sigh.
“Well- I’m sure if you went back now, they’d be more willing to let you do whatever the hell you wanted” Julian told her, she immediately bolted up from his arms.
“Julian, you are not going to try to friggin’ convince me to go back there- you can’t be serious” Sydney told him with a look of desperation in her eyes.
“Sydney- don’t pretend that you enjoy this” Julian told her as he picked up a ‘style at home’ magazine and motioned towards the rest of the house. “This isn’t you, it never has been and it never will be. So stop trying to convince yourself” Sark threw the magazine across the room, “your not domestic, you don’t want to be teaching third graders for the rest of your life, you live for the adrenaline rush that you got at the agency. What the hell do you think your going to do here Sydney? Teach for the rest of your life, marry some poor sap who doesn’t realize how in love with that Vaughn character you are, have children who grow up in a one-sided-love marriage? Grandkids playing behind the god damned white picket fence?” Julian shouted again.
“Shutup!” Sydney screamed, she couldn’t take all the felgercarb he was throwing at her, it was all true, she knew it, he knew it. Anyone who knew her knew that what he was saying was true.
“Why Sydney- you cant bare the truth? You can’t stand hearing that people understand but still think its bull?” He shouted again, this time he was caught off guard by her lips crashing into his.

How can I tell if you mean what you say
You say it so loud but you sound far away
Maybe I had just glimpse of your soul
Or was that your shadow I saw on the wall
I'm watching you disappear
But you, you were never here
It's only a shadow
Never yourself
It's only a shadow
Nobody else
It's only a shadow
Filling the room
Arriving to late
And leaving to soon
And leaving to soon

Sark doesn’t know what to do, 15 minutes ago all he wanted was to be with her, now he doesn’t know what he wants, he wants her in his life no matter what and that will never change, they are so alike its almost disturbing.
“Sydney” he gently pulls away from there kiss.
“-don’t talk” Sydney whispers and starts kissing down his neck, gently un-buttoning his shirt.

Your body is warm but you are not
You give a little not a lot
You coup your love until we kiss
You're all I want but not like this
I'm watching you disappear
But you, you were never here

Sark really can’t understand what’s happening. One minute she wants to talk, the next she’s practically jumping him; not that he’s complaining. He gently pulls her up to him and kisses her again. Before either of them know what is happening he is deep inside her and she feels more desire than she has in her entire life…

Your body gives but then holds back
The sun is bright
The sky is black
Can only be another sign
I cannot keep what isn't mine

Sydney wakes with a start, she looks around her, she has sweat beading off her from the intense dream she just had. She looks beside her and sees Vaughn, looking back at her. Puzzled as ever.
“Syd- you okay?” He asks, pushing a stray piece of hair out of her eye and kissing her gently.
“yeah, fine” Sydney mustered a smile and let her head fall back on the pillow.
“syd, you said something in your sleep…-” Vaughn told her.
“what? Don’t frost the pie?” Sydney laughed.
“no, sark”

Alrighty, I hope people like this!
Mar 26, 2004
Maine we discussed earlier gonna copy it into mw so i can read it, lol.....
i HAD to be thr FIRST to reply, ill talk to you about this tmorrow!!!
Mar 26, 2004
ok..i couldnt wait til tomorrow to like COmpLETELY going to get my parents pissed if they find out im on line right now, so im taking a big risk for you Carolyn, lol.....
alrighty..FIRST..iM IN THE FIC!!!!!!! hehehehehehe and Caorlyn dear, you do realize that you said something like... Her name is Ashley Lucyk” the man told her, she looked up slightly.
“-well, sir you’ve found her, what exactly do you need to ‘do’ to me?” Sydney laughed, she let down her ‘spy’ mechanics and looked into the man’s eyes, they were so familiar, but she couldn’t pinpoint where she had seen them in the past. She let out another long sigh before paying attention to the man once again.
“-Well, Sydney, its been a while…but I’ve found you, there are several things I could do right now” his thick accent came out and Sydney immediately recognized it.
So close but you don't know
It's me, but you can't see
“-sark” Sydney turned to run but he grabbed her arm. Bringing her close to him, there lips, mere centimeters apart.
you said BASICALLY kissed Sark, hehehehehehehe, LMFAO!!!! thanks Carolyn, lol...hehehehe, now i get to dream about this....
ALSo..that was SOoOOOOOOOO fantastic!!!!! like i REALLY loved that!!!! omg i read it four times, lol....
Oh yeah.....the last line...hehehehehehe the no sark..POOR VAUGHN!!!! but goo Syd.....hehehehehehe.....
that was sooooo fantastic Carolyn liek ReaLLLLlllllllYYYYYY AMAZING!!!!!
im gonna go read it agian, lol.......
and who requestied you write that?? at first i was all im gonna ring their necks, but now..NOW..i wanna know who requested it so i can thank them, lol.....
I LOVED IT!!!!!!
and you dedicated it to MOI!!!!! YEAH!!!!!!
im going to ACTAULLY STOP babbling now, lol..and go have my dreams about making out with sark...
OOH EYAH....and if syd wants, the basic last scene...ill trade places with syd if she wants..she can go have sark, lol...ill sleep in the same bed as Vuaghn ANY DAY!!!!!! lol....but then agian, dreams of sark are always good too, LOL!!!!!!


welcome home
Mar 29, 2004
Ontario, Canada! wow! im like laughing hysterically. you do realize you admitted you liked SARKNEY in a post right?...just making sure! lol! im glad you liked it...and yes, you madeout with sark! YAY! lol!


Feb 28, 2003
Hey, don't like Sarkney much, but that was good. Poor Vaughn, having to hear Sydney say Sark's name instead of his. lol. Oh well, it was very good, thanks for the PM Carolyn.


Jun 23, 2004
Darn...just a dream? hopefully youll turn into something more than that ;)
Thanks for the PM, I liked it ...besides her waking up, lol, na its was all good. :)


Jan 9, 2004
Sydney must have eaten something really weird before she went to bed to have a dream like that. Or maybe she was really stressed about something.
I'm glad it was just a dream and that Vaughn was still there by her side.
Feb 2, 2004
that was good :) liked the Sarkney....I like S/V and Sarkney, sooo i'm almost always happy lol can I get a PM when you update again?
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