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Justified Retrribution

Discussion in 'Creative Writing & Arts' started by sugababyboo, Jun 2, 2003.

  1. sugababyboo

    sugababyboo mrs. charlie

    Dec 16, 2002
    Title-Justified Retribution
    Rated-R for language mostly
    Distribution-Just ask me first!
    Description-A mix between Fatal Attraction sans the bad hair and bunnies and a heist type fic.

    Justified Retribution

    Confidently, she traced the sleek exterior of her navy blue Jaguar convertible with her delicate hand. Gripping her mobile phone, she leaned against the hood and breathed in the evening air. A smile touched her thin lips when the scent of freshly cut grass caused her nose to wrinkle. Softly, crickets began to chirp and while others might have found this annoying, she enjoyed their rhythmic hums. The vibration of the mobile phone interrupted her listening session.
    “Hello,” Audrey said, knowingly.
    “Hey,” Jade replied. “Is everything packed up?”
    “Pretty much,” she answered while glancing at her empty house. She had auctioned off her personal effects on Ebay. For obvious reasons, she kept her clothes.
    “Great, I talked to Mark a half-hour ago. He just got back from Bali and now he’s staying at The Standard. I convinced that ******* to meet me at Throb in thirty minutes,” she applied her mascara.
    “He called me while I was packing. And guess where we agreed to hookup?”
    She smiled boldly as she dabbed blush on her medium skin. “He’s playing right into this.”
    “Yeah..a little too well.”
    “Audrey, don’t worry? We’ve been planning this for the past ten months, nothing can go wrong.”
    “I believe you, but I still have some doubts. Don’t get me wrong, I’m with you all the way,” she held the small gold crucifix that hung around her neck. “It’s just the way I am, I worry like hell.”
    She sighed and remembered how important religion was to her friend. “Audrey, you’re not going to hell because of this.”
    “Let’s hope,” she said still sounding a bit unsure.
    “Look, if God didn’t want this happen, then he wouldn’t have let Mark into our lives. He ****ed with the wrong *****es and this time, he’s going to pay.” It chilled Audrey to hear the heartlessness in Jade’s voice. “Besides, we’re doing other women a favor. God only knows how many other girls he’s played.”
    “I don’t even want to think about it.”
    “When will guys learn to think with their heads and not with their dicks?”
    “When J.Lo stays single for longer than a week, that’s when,” Audrey replied flatly.
    Loudly, Jade laughed as she finished putting on her lip-gloss. “ And we both know that’ll never happen.”
    Audrey looked at her wristwatch. “We should get going soon.” She paused. “I’m going to miss everyone. We’re walking away from our own lives, Jade.”
    “I’d rather walk away from it than rot in prison.”
    “I know. Is Solana still in?”
    “She’s my sister, she wouldn’t bail out on me.”
    “She’s a kid.”
    “She’s twenty and a ****ing genius. This is not to mention that she’s a computer hacker and that she’s doing about eighty percent of the felgercarb that is going on tonight-.”
    “OK! Sorry that I doubted her.”
    “No, I’m just defensive when it comes to her, sorry. She isn’t that young, we’re twenty-six.”
    “Yeah and I have to admit, she knows more than I did at the age. We need to be at the club in ten minutes.”
    “You’re right. I’ll see you there,” she placed her thumb over the end button.
    “I’m with you all the way.”
    She heard the sincerity in Audrey’s voice and smiled. “I know, bye.”
    “Bye, for now,” she hung up.
    Putting on her black coat, Jade went into the bathroom and examined her reflection. Her navel piercing glistened and complemented her black halter-top and low-rise pants. Two mahogany chopsticks held up her black tresses. Hurriedly, she exited the bathroom.
    Like Audrey, she had sold her belongings. Without giving the bare house a second glance, she left. Boldly, she got into her black vintage Ferrari and pulled out of her driveway.

    to be continued
  2. Azhria Lilu

    Azhria Lilu Rocket Ranger

    Nov 18, 2002
    Derbyshire, UK
    Very good so far. More?
  3. sugababyboo

    sugababyboo mrs. charlie

    Dec 16, 2002
    Oh ok, just because you're my main man :redhair: ;) :LOL:

    While driving through the lively streets of Los Angeles, she remembered the remarks Audrey had made about them leaving their lives behind. Although she would never openly admit it, apart of her miss her old life. A great career as an assistant to famed fashion designer Francisco Strucci, a loving family and supportive friends; almost perfect. It was just her love life that she wouldn’t miss. Every man that crossed her path had betrayed her. Enter Mark.
    He was everything her ex-boyfriends weren’t, or he seemed to be. His ravishing looks attracted him to her, but she was drawn in by his deceptive charm. It was like a fairytale and she should have known that it was too good to be true. It all came crashing down, when Audrey confronted her in Throb a few months ago. She had revealed to her that she had been seeing Mark as well. That was the straw that broke the camel’s back.
    Even though they were strangers, they formed an instant connection with their betrayal.
    Smoothly, Jade stopped in front of the entrance of Throb and got out of car.
    “Hey Hunter,” Jade said to the valet as he took her keys.
    “Jade,” he nodded. “She hasn’t arrived yet,” he said referring to Audrey.
    “Shame for you,” she winked at him and whispered into his ear. “But it won’t be too long.”
    “I hope everything goes well,” he whispered back.
    “Thanks,” she replied.
    She passed by the lengthy line and greeted the bouncer before entering Throb.
    Sighing, Audrey looked at her reflection before pulling up to the entrance. Brushing a lock of her chestnut hair away from her face, she remembered the life she was abandoning. Her superiors at Arden Records were shocked when she announced her two weeks notice. She loved that job and it wasn’t because of the multiple zeros that appeared on her paychecks each week. It was rewarding for her to see the artists that she had signed, garner success and respect in their careers.
    Her angular face formed into a smile when Hunter approached her car and opened the door.
    Like a gentleman, he helped her out and admired her beauty. A designer black corset covered her upper torso while supporting her full chest. The pantsuit that she wore hugged her curvaceous body. Her porcelain skin shimmered when she smiled at him.
    “Hey,” Audrey said.
    He leaned in and she smelled his cologne. “Nikki just got in line and Jade is already inside.”
    “Thanks,” she handed him her keys.
    He combed a hand through his black hair as watched her go into the club.

    Tracing her forefinger along the rim of the martini glass, Jade’s eyes followed Justin as he served drinks. The dim lights reflected off his gelled hair. His dark eyes penetrated her when he walked over.
    “You look good tonight,” he said with a hint of smile.
    She smiled at him flirtatiously and teased, “Tell me something I don’t know.”
    “Audrey’s here,” he gestured to the second level of club.
    Jade turned her head and nodded at her.
    Audrey did the same.
    From atop the second floor, she stared down at the dance floor. Herds of people gyrated their hard bodies to the techno beats. Their close proximity caused them to sweat profusely.
    Back at the bar, Jade continued to speak with Justin.
    “You know what I like about you and Audrey?” Justin asked.
    “I would guess but I wouldn’t want to come off as being crass,” she picked up a cherry from the small bowl in front of her.
    He chuckled. “You two are real, that’s hard to find in Los Angeles. A woman that’s genuine and not plastic, it’s like finding a needle in a haystack.”
    “Interesting,” she said before popping the cherry into her mouth.
    He looked at her curiously.
    The cherry emerged from her mouth, with the stem tied.
    “I see that you’re very talented with your mouth,” he stated.
    She gestured with her forefinger for him to lean in; he obeyed.
    “You have no idea,” she whispered assertively in his ear.
    He arched an eyebrow.
    Outside, Nikki stood in the front of the line and held her mobile phone. Unlike Audrey and Jade, she was never involved with Mark. However, she had been friends with Jade since childhood and wasn’t the unreliable type.
    Mark pulled up in his red Porsche and got out of the car. Dressed in an Armani suit, he gave Hunter a look of disdain before giving him his keys.
    “If there is even a scratch on my car, I’ll make sure that your ass is fired by the end of the night,” he said to Hunter.
    Hunter suppressed the urge to strike him and simply said, “Yes, Sir.” After getting into the driver’s seat, he muttered, “*******.”
    Slyly, he winked at Nikki as he walked into Throb.
    Subtly, she sent Jade and Audrey a text message.
    Inside, Audrey dug her fingernails into the railing when she saw Mark enter the club. She felt the fury flowing through her veins; it invigorated her like some kind of drug. Surprisingly, she relished in the moment.
    A maniacal smile crept across her face when he approached Jade.
    Mark wasn’t the first man to exploit her, but she knew that he was going to be the last.

    to be continued that is it for today! :redhair:
  4. Azhria Lilu

    Azhria Lilu Rocket Ranger

    Nov 18, 2002
    Derbyshire, UK
    I love martini glasses. I don't know why! :LOL:
  5. sugababyboo

    sugababyboo mrs. charlie

    Dec 16, 2002
    LOL I think sycofancy's past avatar had an influence on you :LOL:
  6. pasta_sauce385

    pasta_sauce385 Rocket Ranger

    Dec 21, 2002
    wow, i can't get over how well you write....you've got me intrigued on this story.
  7. sugababyboo

    sugababyboo mrs. charlie

    Dec 16, 2002
    She sent him a text message and slide into the booth. Minutes later, he appeared and strutted over to her.
    “Hey Baby,” he said joining her.
    “Hey,” she ran her fingers through his dirty blond hair.
    He gave her a slow once-over and she felt cheapened.
    “You’re looking fine tonight,” he placed a hand on her thigh and leaned in to kiss her.
    She sensed his body heat and smelled his Armani cologne. When his lips were on hers, she felt sick to her stomach and struggled to keep herself from vomiting.
    “How was Bali?” She asked after he withdrew from her.
    “It was all good. I haven’t seen my family in a long time.”
    His father was the CEO of a major film production company and owned many villas, one of them being in Bali.
    “Have you gotten a chance to settle in?” She stared into his green eyes.
    “No, I put all of my furniture and stuff in storage. I’m going to have my guys move it back into the house tomorrow.” Nikki walked by and gave him a come-hither look. “I gotta go to the little boys room,” he smiled at her before leaving.
    She waited a few minutes and then casually left Throb.
    As she drove with the top down, she wiped away the strawberry lip balm.
    Jade leaned on the hood of her Ferrari and watched Audrey pull into Nick’s driveway.
    Audrey turned off the ignition, and lifted up the latch that opened the trunk. Her heeled boots clacked against the asphalt when she grabbed the black nylon backpack out of her trunk and made her way to Jade.
    “I see that you’re ready,” Jade said handing her a pair of leather gloves, an earpiece and a black knit cap.
    “Please, I am always ready,” she put the earpiece in and tapped it on.
    “Hey biotches,” Solana said from their earpieces.
    “You have such a bad influence on her,” Audrey said to Jade.
    Jade simply shrugged, then smiled.
    “You two know what to do. Jade, go on the North side of the house, I left some gifts for you,” Solana said.
    “Thank you kindly,” Jade quipped as she marched to the side of house.
    “Did you do what I told you?”
    “Yeah, I got his mobile phone and sent all three of his girlfriends a text message.”
    “Great, I’m switching to Audrey’s piece now,” Solana informed Jade before going silent. “Audrey, you don’t have to worry about the security system, I hacked into the company’s database and turned it off.”
    “Thanks,” Audrey said as she picked the lock and stepped into the house.
    “And a few weeks ago, I got into the warehouse where Mark kept his stuff. I sold all of it as well.”
    “How did you do that without the cops finding out?”
    “Let’s just say that it pays to have friends in low places. And by the way, you two are extremely lucky that Mark has no neighbors.”
    “How much did it come out to?”
    “Well, this includes his collection of cars, statues, high tech toys and many other things. About 8 million dollars and that’s not including the cash you and Jade got from selling your own stuff.”
    “Also, that’s not including what he has in his safe.”
    “I’m on it,” Audrey said as she walked into the master bathroom. “Where’s the safe?”
    “Its behind the television above the bathtub. Press the volume button three times and the enter button twice.”
    Audrey obeyed and seconds later the television pulled back revealing the safe.
    “Now, its time to see if those classes paid off,” Audrey said taking the instruments out of her backpack.
    “Of course they did, I was your teacher.”
    Carefully, she began cracking into the safe. To her amazement, she was completely calm.
    “Whoa,” she said in awe.
    “What?” Solana asked
    “There are ..a lot of platinum and diamond jewelry in here,” she watched the diamonds shimmer as she held them in her gloved hand.
    “Take pictures of them using your phone and I can send them to my guy. He can give us an estimate. And some of my other guys are taking care of you and Jade’s cars as we speak. They’re putting them in a safe place.”
    “I don’t even want to know how you have all these connections. And by the way, if there’s a scratch on my Jag, I’ll kick their asses.”
    “You’re right, you really don’t. I don’t doubt you on that kicking their asses part.”
    “Ok, I’m taking pictures of them now and …they’re sent.”
    “Good, go out to the dock behind the house and wait with Jade. I’ll be there in a few minutes.”
    “Good luck,” Audrey added.
    “You too.”
    Speedily, Audrey exited the house and joined Jade on the dock.
    Meanwhile, at Throb, Mark ran his hands through Nikki’s red hair and kissed her.
    She lightly pushed him off of her when her mobile phone rang. She cackled.
    “What’s so funny?” Mark asked curiously.
    She showed him the picture that Jade had taken of Mark’s house.
    His heart stopped.
    “If I were you, I’d haul my ass home,” she before laughing.
    The maniacal tone of her laughter terrified him. Immediately, he ran out of the club and drove like a mad man.
    The speedboat ripped through the water and nearly flew on the surface as Solana drove towards the dock. Grasping the steering wheel tightly, she felt the wind flow through her thick black her and delighted in the power beneath her fingertips. Fearlessly, she swerved the boat and it stopped a few inches shy of the dock.
    “Finally,” Jade said jumping into the boat.
    “I’ll take that as a thank you,” Solana replied.
    “Nikki just called us, Mark is on his way,” Audrey added while removing her earpiece and throwing it in the ocean. Jade did the same.
    “I guess that means that we don’t have time to find a great seat,” Solana said with a sly smile on her face. “Hold on tight,” she turned the boat and steered it a few yards away from the dock.
    “Solana, what are you doing?” Audrey asked.
    “You’ll see in about 80 seconds,” Jade answered.
    “Just trust us. Oh and my guy gave me an estimate on the jewelry,” Solana said.
    “And?” Audrey said.
    “All together, it’s valued at 3.5 million dollars.”
    “****, I guess it pays off to work for daddy” Jade said sounding dumbfounded.
    “I combined your assets. Excluding the major expense I had to purchase, the total comes out to 13.5 million dollars,” Solana added. “All of it is in cash, except for the jewelry.”

    Nervously, Mark headed towards his driveway. The car halted, and the tires screeched against the asphalt. Getting out of the car, he bent down and saw the barbwire blocking the car’s path.
    “What the ****?” Mark asked examining the damage done to his tires.
    Without warning, his house exploded violently causing him to stumble backwards. His eyes widen in absolute shock.
    “Oh my God,” Audrey said. “How-.”
    “It’s handy to have a genius for a little sister,” Jade answered.
    Audrey nodded and watched in astonishment. Debris from explosion landed in the water. Flames tore away at the house and illuminated midnight sky. It was most beautiful site she had ever seen in her life. Blissfully, she smiled. She never knew the meaning of retribution until this very moment.
    “We gotta go, they’re waiting for us at the marina,” Jade said.
    Audrey turned to her and said, “Let’s go.”
    Solana nodded and drove away from the wreckage. They never once looked back.
    Mark felt the warm asphalt under his palms and gawked at the remains of his house.
    “Ah-hem,” Nikki said from behind him.
    He turned his head and said, “Oh felgercarb.”
    Behind her, were all three of his girlfriends; all shared the same look of fury.
    “It seems that all of these ladies need to talk to you,” Nikki said. “I’ll leave you all alone. You can thank me later,” she smiled and walked to her car.
    As they closed in on him, he prayed to God.

    to be continued
  8. Scarlet Crystal

    Scarlet Crystal Bibbity Rabbity

    Dec 30, 2002
    kewl!!!! we finally have one of these forums.
  9. pasta_sauce385

    pasta_sauce385 Rocket Ranger

    Dec 21, 2002
    holy felgercarb, that was awesome! thats all i can say. ;)
  10. alias8000

    alias8000 Rocket Ranger

    May 26, 2003
  11. sugababyboo

    sugababyboo mrs. charlie

    Dec 16, 2002
    In solitude, Mark sat in is hospital bed. It had been over two months since that night. His legs, right arm and a couple of his ribs were broken. The gash on his lip would leave a scar. His mobile phone rang; the caller ID on the screen said, “Not available.” He pressed the talk button.
    “Hello,” his voice was weak.
    “Didn’t your mother ever tell you to not talk to strangers?” Audrey said with a hint of amusement in her voice.
    “Audrey. You did this?” He was in utter disbelief.
    “They say that money can’t buy happiness, but no one ever said a thing about retribution. I’ll keep in touch,” she hung up.
    She stood on the deck of the yacht and flung the disposable mobile phone into ocean. Solana had built it and made it impossible for anyone to trace.
    Waves crushed against the yacht as she gripped onto railing and took in the beautiful view. The sun shone down on her bikini-clad body, the warmth made her feel as if she was out of harm's way.
    She remembered Solana calling it an expense and smiled boldly. Two strong arms snaked around her body.
    “Nikki just e-mailed us, she’s in Tuscany waiting. She said that your cars just arrived,” Hunter said.
    She rested her against his muscular chest and asked, “How long until we get there?”
    “Justin told me a few more hours,” he replied and breathed in the scent of her hair. “We’d get there faster if he would just keep his hands off of Jade.”
    She laughed, ”And Solana?”
    “She’s watching a DVD in her room.”
    “This just seems so unreal.”
    “What? That you guys got away with it?”
    “No, I mean us. When I wakeup next you, I feel like I’m in some of kind dream. I never want to wakeup.”
    “Well, you won’t have to,” he slipped a diamond ring on her left ring finger. “You don’t have to say yes just yet. Just wear it.”
    “That makes sense, since I’m saying yes.”
    “I knew it,” he smiled. “And there’s another thing I know,” he added. She looked at him curiously. “I will never cheat on you.” He bent down and kissed her tenderly.
    She traced his strong jaw with her fingertips and savored the moment.
    The End
  12. Scarlet Crystal

    Scarlet Crystal Bibbity Rabbity

    Dec 30, 2002
    yay! you saved him!!! very good. nice end... ah...
  13. aliasrocks515

    aliasrocks515 Rocket Ranger

    Jul 31, 2003
    New Jersey, U.S.A
    This was very good! Totally a great anti-guy story. I laughed my butt off when you were describing Mark in the hospital! Great job.

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