SydneyAnneVaughn
Cadet
Bring Me Down
By: Eva Marie Rayne
Rating: PG
POV: Sydney (but there's a switcheroo)
Ship: former S/V
Disclaimer: I don’t own the song used or Alias.
Summary: You can look me in the eye and break my heart…
*Sweet like a kiss, sharp like a razorblade
I find you when I’m close to the bottom*
I looked around the cold, bare cell I’d been thrown in. We’d been caught by the North Korean army and were minutes away from facing a firing squad.
“We’re not gonna make it out of here.” Vaughn said, breaking the tension-filled silence between us.
“There’s something I need you to know.” I stopped pulling at the shackles around my wrist to look at him.
“Vaughn…” I said, knowing what was coming.
“In my life, there is only one person…” He began.
“Don’t do this.” I pleaded, tears beginning to form in my eyes as I looked away.
“Look at me.” He said. I slowly looked back into his eyes. I saw what was coming, but I couldn’t bear to hear him say it.
“Vaughn.” I started, but abruptly stopped myself to think.
“The only reason I pushed you away…” He said, trying to explain himself.
“Please.” I pleaded, trying to get him to stop.
“The only reason I pushed you away…” He said. I heard keys rattling and soldiers shuffling about.
“They’re coming.” I said, looking at the door.
“Sydney.” He tried again.
“I know, Vaughn. I know.” I said, turning to whisper in his ear, “We’ll find each other. We always find each other.”
I smiled at him weakly and kissed his cheek. He turned to me, crashing his lips into mine. We kissed gently, but with a frantic pace, knowing we might not have the chance to do it again.
The guards ripped us apart violently and we were led outside to face the firing squad. We looked into each others’ eyes, knowing we’d find each other. Instead, we were saved and brought back to Los Angeles. I thought things would finally go back to the way they should be, but Vaughn found himself in Lauren’s arms once again and I was left heartbroken.
*You can't appreciate the time it takes
To kick a love I always knew was kind of wrong*
“Vaughn, I can’t do this anymore.”
“What do you mean?”
“I can’t sit here and watch you with another woman while you keep me on a baited hook.”
“Baited hook? Sydney, you know I care about you but I’m not-“
“I won’t be the other woman in your marriage.”
“You’re not the other woman. Lauren and I are divorcing anyway.”
“I’m leaving.”
“What? Where?”
“I don’t know.”
“How can you just leave when you don’t know where you’re going?”
“Because after 2 years of being in love with you unconditionally, there have been too many conditions now. I can’t do it anymore.”
“Sydney, don’t leave like this.”
“I’m sorry Michael. Goodbye.”
*And as I'm putting out the flame
Somebody brings up your name*
I packed the last of my things and got myself ready for bed. I would load my truck in the morning and just drive until I found a suitable place. There wasn’t much else I could do.
As my head was about to hit the pillow, I heard a knock at the door, followed by the door opening.
“Syd, it’s me.” Eric’s familiar voice rang through my apartment.
“I’m back here.” I called. I heard his footsteps come closer until he peeked his head into my bedroom doorway.
“Why’s it so empty around here? You planning on moving and leaving us behind?” I said nothing.
“You’re seriously leaving?”
“Yeah. Tomorrow morning I’m getting up early and probably going to New Mexico. It seems really nice there.”
“You know you can’t leave like this.”
“Eric, I just can’t live this life anymore.”
“You mean you can’t live your life with Mike around?” Tears began to fall down my cheeks.
“I can’t sit by every day, watching him with her. He breaks my heart so much and he doesn’t even care.”
“He cares, but he doesn’t know the right way to show it.”
“That’s for sure.”
“You know what I mean. You two are destined to be together, but he hasn’t quite figured that out yet.”
“He figured it out before I was gone.”
“And then you were gone. You know as well as anyone that you being gone almost killed him.”
“But then how could he give up on me if he loved me that much?”
*Oh oh oh oh
Baby, baby, baby, bring me down
I wanna be right where you are
Baby, baby, baby bring me down
So you can look me in the eye and break my heart
Break my heart*
I had to see him one more time before I left for good.
“Sydney, thank God you decided to stay.”
“I’m not staying.”
“What? Then why are you here?”
“I wanted to say a last goodbye before I left.”
“Please Sydney, don’t leave.” He pleaded, taking my arm.
“Don’t.” I replied coldly, ripping my arm from his grasp.
“Sydney, I can’t do this without you.”
“Yes you can. You have Lauren.” I said, willing the tears forming in my eyes not to fall.
“She’s not there for me like you are. Come on, I know there’s some part of you that wants to stay.”
“I can’t.” Some of my tears began to tread gently down my face.
“Sydney, baby, please don’t cry. It’s like you said: we’ll find each other. We always find each other.”
I felt my heart break into a million pieces with that statement and I just couldn’t hold my composure anymore. I burst into tears, only for him to wrap me in his arms and comfort me.
“Ssh Syd, it’ll be alright.”
“No it won’t.”
“Yes it will. Just wait and see.”
“That’s just it. I’m tired of waiting.” I dried my tears and looked him in the eye.
“Sydney, I love you.” I felt my heart swell with happiness.
“But I’m still married to Lauren and I have to deal with that responsibility first.” Once again, my heart shattered.
“Then don’t bother. I’m not gonna sit here and let you constantly break my f*cking heart. Goodbye.”
And with that, I left the man I’d loved through everything. I took one last glance at him as I walked out of the rotunda and felt more pain than ever run through me.
*Six AM, unruffled pillow
Laughs out loud at my trusting heart
It's like I didn't see the penny
I missed the fountain by a couple yards*
I spent another sleepless night in my almost empty apartment just thinking about him. How stupid could I be to trust him again when he said those 3 words? It’s like I never learned a thing from that day we came back from North Korea.
How could someone who used to have such a generous heart suddenly be so unyielding to someone he once loved unconditionally? How could he give up after only 6 months? How could he marry someone like her?
*If you would only stay gone
Maybe I could move on*
I heard a knock at my front door around 9:00am. I went to the door, wondering who could be round this early. The answer to my question stared at me with a sleep-deprived and tear-stained face once I opened the door.
“What is it Vaughn?”
“Sydney, I need to talk to you.”
“So talk.”
“Can I come in?”
“I suppose.” I sighed as he came in, immediately sitting on the single chair left in the mainroom.
“Sydney, you can’t leave.”
“You said that yesterday.”
“I know, but I talked to Lauren last night.”
“And?”
“Our divorce is final at the end of the month.”
Before she could say anything else, her cell phone rang. She picked it up from the mantle and answered it as I watched her intently.
“Hello? Alright. No, that’s fine. Thank you very much. Same here. Goodbye.” She hung up the phone and looked at me sadly.
“What was that?” I asked her.
“That was the Director of the office in New Mexico. They’re sending a moving truck later today to get all my stuff.”
“Sydney…”
“I’m sorry Vaughn, but I have to do this.”
“But…”
“No. I can’t stay here. But remember, we’ll always find each other.”
*Baby, baby, baby, bring me down
You can look me in the eye and break my heart
Break my heart*
By: Eva Marie Rayne
Rating: PG
POV: Sydney (but there's a switcheroo)
Ship: former S/V
Disclaimer: I don’t own the song used or Alias.
Summary: You can look me in the eye and break my heart…
*Sweet like a kiss, sharp like a razorblade
I find you when I’m close to the bottom*
I looked around the cold, bare cell I’d been thrown in. We’d been caught by the North Korean army and were minutes away from facing a firing squad.
“We’re not gonna make it out of here.” Vaughn said, breaking the tension-filled silence between us.
“There’s something I need you to know.” I stopped pulling at the shackles around my wrist to look at him.
“Vaughn…” I said, knowing what was coming.
“In my life, there is only one person…” He began.
“Don’t do this.” I pleaded, tears beginning to form in my eyes as I looked away.
“Look at me.” He said. I slowly looked back into his eyes. I saw what was coming, but I couldn’t bear to hear him say it.
“Vaughn.” I started, but abruptly stopped myself to think.
“The only reason I pushed you away…” He said, trying to explain himself.
“Please.” I pleaded, trying to get him to stop.
“The only reason I pushed you away…” He said. I heard keys rattling and soldiers shuffling about.
“They’re coming.” I said, looking at the door.
“Sydney.” He tried again.
“I know, Vaughn. I know.” I said, turning to whisper in his ear, “We’ll find each other. We always find each other.”
I smiled at him weakly and kissed his cheek. He turned to me, crashing his lips into mine. We kissed gently, but with a frantic pace, knowing we might not have the chance to do it again.
The guards ripped us apart violently and we were led outside to face the firing squad. We looked into each others’ eyes, knowing we’d find each other. Instead, we were saved and brought back to Los Angeles. I thought things would finally go back to the way they should be, but Vaughn found himself in Lauren’s arms once again and I was left heartbroken.
*You can't appreciate the time it takes
To kick a love I always knew was kind of wrong*
“Vaughn, I can’t do this anymore.”
“What do you mean?”
“I can’t sit here and watch you with another woman while you keep me on a baited hook.”
“Baited hook? Sydney, you know I care about you but I’m not-“
“I won’t be the other woman in your marriage.”
“You’re not the other woman. Lauren and I are divorcing anyway.”
“I’m leaving.”
“What? Where?”
“I don’t know.”
“How can you just leave when you don’t know where you’re going?”
“Because after 2 years of being in love with you unconditionally, there have been too many conditions now. I can’t do it anymore.”
“Sydney, don’t leave like this.”
“I’m sorry Michael. Goodbye.”
*And as I'm putting out the flame
Somebody brings up your name*
I packed the last of my things and got myself ready for bed. I would load my truck in the morning and just drive until I found a suitable place. There wasn’t much else I could do.
As my head was about to hit the pillow, I heard a knock at the door, followed by the door opening.
“Syd, it’s me.” Eric’s familiar voice rang through my apartment.
“I’m back here.” I called. I heard his footsteps come closer until he peeked his head into my bedroom doorway.
“Why’s it so empty around here? You planning on moving and leaving us behind?” I said nothing.
“You’re seriously leaving?”
“Yeah. Tomorrow morning I’m getting up early and probably going to New Mexico. It seems really nice there.”
“You know you can’t leave like this.”
“Eric, I just can’t live this life anymore.”
“You mean you can’t live your life with Mike around?” Tears began to fall down my cheeks.
“I can’t sit by every day, watching him with her. He breaks my heart so much and he doesn’t even care.”
“He cares, but he doesn’t know the right way to show it.”
“That’s for sure.”
“You know what I mean. You two are destined to be together, but he hasn’t quite figured that out yet.”
“He figured it out before I was gone.”
“And then you were gone. You know as well as anyone that you being gone almost killed him.”
“But then how could he give up on me if he loved me that much?”
*Oh oh oh oh
Baby, baby, baby, bring me down
I wanna be right where you are
Baby, baby, baby bring me down
So you can look me in the eye and break my heart
Break my heart*
I had to see him one more time before I left for good.
“Sydney, thank God you decided to stay.”
“I’m not staying.”
“What? Then why are you here?”
“I wanted to say a last goodbye before I left.”
“Please Sydney, don’t leave.” He pleaded, taking my arm.
“Don’t.” I replied coldly, ripping my arm from his grasp.
“Sydney, I can’t do this without you.”
“Yes you can. You have Lauren.” I said, willing the tears forming in my eyes not to fall.
“She’s not there for me like you are. Come on, I know there’s some part of you that wants to stay.”
“I can’t.” Some of my tears began to tread gently down my face.
“Sydney, baby, please don’t cry. It’s like you said: we’ll find each other. We always find each other.”
I felt my heart break into a million pieces with that statement and I just couldn’t hold my composure anymore. I burst into tears, only for him to wrap me in his arms and comfort me.
“Ssh Syd, it’ll be alright.”
“No it won’t.”
“Yes it will. Just wait and see.”
“That’s just it. I’m tired of waiting.” I dried my tears and looked him in the eye.
“Sydney, I love you.” I felt my heart swell with happiness.
“But I’m still married to Lauren and I have to deal with that responsibility first.” Once again, my heart shattered.
“Then don’t bother. I’m not gonna sit here and let you constantly break my f*cking heart. Goodbye.”
And with that, I left the man I’d loved through everything. I took one last glance at him as I walked out of the rotunda and felt more pain than ever run through me.
*Six AM, unruffled pillow
Laughs out loud at my trusting heart
It's like I didn't see the penny
I missed the fountain by a couple yards*
I spent another sleepless night in my almost empty apartment just thinking about him. How stupid could I be to trust him again when he said those 3 words? It’s like I never learned a thing from that day we came back from North Korea.
How could someone who used to have such a generous heart suddenly be so unyielding to someone he once loved unconditionally? How could he give up after only 6 months? How could he marry someone like her?
*If you would only stay gone
Maybe I could move on*
I heard a knock at my front door around 9:00am. I went to the door, wondering who could be round this early. The answer to my question stared at me with a sleep-deprived and tear-stained face once I opened the door.
“What is it Vaughn?”
“Sydney, I need to talk to you.”
“So talk.”
“Can I come in?”
“I suppose.” I sighed as he came in, immediately sitting on the single chair left in the mainroom.
“Sydney, you can’t leave.”
“You said that yesterday.”
“I know, but I talked to Lauren last night.”
“And?”
“Our divorce is final at the end of the month.”
Before she could say anything else, her cell phone rang. She picked it up from the mantle and answered it as I watched her intently.
“Hello? Alright. No, that’s fine. Thank you very much. Same here. Goodbye.” She hung up the phone and looked at me sadly.
“What was that?” I asked her.
“That was the Director of the office in New Mexico. They’re sending a moving truck later today to get all my stuff.”
“Sydney…”
“I’m sorry Vaughn, but I have to do this.”
“But…”
“No. I can’t stay here. But remember, we’ll always find each other.”
*Baby, baby, baby, bring me down
You can look me in the eye and break my heart
Break my heart*
