Lines You'll Never Hear on Alias
- Thread starter SarksScrtAgntGrl
- Start date
ReedCordial bandit
Cadet
Sydney looking pleased with herself walks into the room and weiss rushes her to the side,
(after about 30 seconds of talking....)
Sydney: What do you MEAN she got out of the cement mixer?
(after about 30 seconds of talking....)
Sydney: What do you MEAN she got out of the cement mixer?
ReedCordial bandit
Cadet
*sydney returns to the cia, to see Dixon as the head of the task force*
Dixon: Ive got a lovely bunch of coconuts, didlidilidddie
Dixon: Ive got a lovely bunch of coconuts, didlidilidddie
winter_snow
Cadet
Well I just thought id make an attempt. Here it goes:
Sydney: You just got married?!
Vaughn: Oh hell no!...I had kids first!
(yeah that was mean but,well it was the only thing that was comin to me!)
Lauren: Helloo, Im michael Vaughns wife.
Sydney (looks at Lauren, wonders why its talking and whispers into Dixons ear): He married a cow? :blink:
So watcha think, am I complete failure?
Sydney: You just got married?!
Vaughn: Oh hell no!...I had kids first!
(yeah that was mean but,well it was the only thing that was comin to me!)
Lauren: Helloo, Im michael Vaughns wife.
Sydney (looks at Lauren, wonders why its talking and whispers into Dixons ear): He married a cow? :blink:
So watcha think, am I complete failure?
vaughnandsydforever
Cadet
Lauren: Sorry Vaughn, I am in love with someone else!
Vaughn: What, Who is that???
Lauren: It's Sydney, Shes mine you cant have her.
Vaughn: Thats ok Im in love with Weiss anyway
*Sorry* vaughn and syd forever
Vaughn: What, Who is that???
Lauren: It's Sydney, Shes mine you cant have her.
Vaughn: Thats ok Im in love with Weiss anyway
*Sorry* vaughn and syd forever
julesvartan
Cadet
Sydney: Sorry, Vaughn you just aren't man enough for me anymore. I'm into someone else.
Vaughn: What after all those shirtless scenes I'm not "man" enough for you. Who is he?
Sydney: It's Weiss.
Vaughn: Weiss?
HA!!! S/V ROCK!
Vaughn: What after all those shirtless scenes I'm not "man" enough for you. Who is he?
Sydney: It's Weiss.
Vaughn: Weiss?
HA!!! S/V ROCK!
svfan4ever
Cadet
Lauren: Moo moo moo
Vaughn: I wanna be a child forever! All you have to do is believe. Believe in Neverland Sydney...
Sydney: *slowly walks away*
Vaughn: I wanna be a child forever! All you have to do is believe. Believe in Neverland Sydney...
Sydney: *slowly walks away*
tippinlover
Cadet
Syd: Will, I really never should have slept with you, it was selfish of me. I have been gone for over two years...and...well... I didn't mean to lead you on...
Will: Syd, it's ok, I needed to get laid too
Will: Syd, it's ok, I needed to get laid too
svfan4ever
Cadet
Vaughn: I'm a lean mean kicking machine. I could take on anyone!
Sydney: Good for you.
Vaughn: OMG! A bug! Ahhhhhhhhh! Help!
Sydney: Good for you.
Vaughn: OMG! A bug! Ahhhhhhhhh! Help!
aliassyd47
Cadet
Lauren: Are my eyebrows really that bad???
Sydney: Yep. It looks like you have two caterpillars on your head.
-A REAL caterpillar starts sleeping on one of Lauren's eyebrows-
Lauren: Does this bug make me look fat??
That sucked. :blink:
Sydney: Yep. It looks like you have two caterpillars on your head.
-A REAL caterpillar starts sleeping on one of Lauren's eyebrows-
Lauren: Does this bug make me look fat??
That sucked. :blink:
Jack: Well done Syd a fully completed mission where you didn't get caught, set on buy one or possible two fairly large guards. Then after disposing of them using ingeniously placed objects to sneakily get away...
Sydney: eeeeeeeeerrrrrrr?! thanks dad...?
***isnt that why we love it so much***
Sydney: eeeeeeeeerrrrrrr?! thanks dad...?
***isnt that why we love it so much***
Tenderbear
Scout
LMAO!
Here's another...
Dixon: We must be very focused on this next mission... it is going to be very dangerous and very hard to do. From now on its 100% work and no play--
Jack: But Dixon!
Dixon: Jack! Put away the Hungry Hungry Hippos!
+++++++++++++
(Sydney and Dixon are watching the task team on multiple CIA monitors.)
Dixon: (pointing) And you see there, he is shooting that guy... and then they go into the building... and then--
Sydney: [excited] OH MY GOD! *gasps and points*
Dixon: What is it?
Sydney: Carly Patterson stuck her dismount!
++++++++++++++
(Back when SD-6 was around...)
Sloane: Sydney, Dixon, you must hurry back from your mission before my forehead wrinkles completely consume my eyes...
++++++++++++++
Jack: Sydney, I lied to you. I'm not your father, I'm not even related to you. I'm just a creepy pedifile(sp?) who kidnapped you and trained you to become an assassin when you were a little girl--
Sydney: Look! I can touch my tongue to my nose! (touches tongue to nose)
VaughnsAHottie
Cadet
Ok got this from a pepsi commercial I think...so someone work with it ok because i'm not talented lol.....
(sark as a bobble head)
Ok someone did one like this but I'm making my version
Vaughn:Syd I have some good news
Sydney:Your leaving Lauren?
Vaughn:No I just saved a lot of money on car insurance
Sydneywalks away)
Vaughn:I SAVED! I thought that meant something to you!
(sark as a bobble head)
Ok someone did one like this but I'm making my version
Vaughn:Syd I have some good news
Sydney:Your leaving Lauren?
Vaughn:No I just saved a lot of money on car insurance
Sydney
walks away)Vaughn:I SAVED! I thought that meant something to you!
aliasluver47
Cadet
**don't know if anything like this has been used cuz I don't feel like reading all 60 pages!**
Weiss: Lauren you look so different today...I can't put my finger on it...(thinking to himself, "Looking more like a Cow, that is")
Lauren: Oh well, I'm not wearing my ridiculously thick black eyeliner today, I seemed to have mis-placed it...
(Lauren walking into bathroom, Jack is there)
Lauren: Jack this is the women's restroom! **ghasp** Jack! Why are you putting on my eyeliner?!
...bad I know... :blink:
Weiss: Lauren you look so different today...I can't put my finger on it...(thinking to himself, "Looking more like a Cow, that is")
Lauren: Oh well, I'm not wearing my ridiculously thick black eyeliner today, I seemed to have mis-placed it...
(Lauren walking into bathroom, Jack is there)
Lauren: Jack this is the women's restroom! **ghasp** Jack! Why are you putting on my eyeliner?!
...bad I know... :blink:
mountaineer68
Cadet
*in the middle of a breifing*
Dixon: Sydney here's your disguise. You have a red wig too.
Sydney: *suddenly stands up and shouts* Red! Red! Razzle Red!! I need Razzles!!!
*grabs Vaughn's arm and runs out the door, dragging him with her*
*back in the briefing room*
Dixon: Razzles?
Sorry, my first attemp, and I was thinking of 13 Going on 30..so... :lol: lol
Dixon: Sydney here's your disguise. You have a red wig too.
Sydney: *suddenly stands up and shouts* Red! Red! Razzle Red!! I need Razzles!!!
*grabs Vaughn's arm and runs out the door, dragging him with her*
*back in the briefing room*
Dixon: Razzles?
Sorry, my first attemp, and I was thinking of 13 Going on 30..so... :lol: lol
Katrina Halliwell
Inspiring Alias writer
I'm halfway to the end but thought up this last night so I'll post it... I dunno if it's funny cuz I'm usually serious but I do have my moments.
What would've happened in "Conscious" if Jack and Lauren were the only ones awake, alone in the same space.
Lauren: Jack?
Jack: Hm?
Lauren: I have something to tell you...
Jack: (turns so that he's facing her) What is it?
Lauren: Well... uh... I have this fetish for old men and...
Jack: God, Lauren! You can't believe how relieved I am that you said that! Kiss me!
*HUGE makeout scene*
Later...
At the CIA
Jack: Everyone, I have an announcement to make.
Syd: What is it, Dad?
Jack: (pulls Lauren close to him, she's beaming and flushed) Lauren and I are getting as soon as Vaughn signs those divorce papers.
Syd: You're marrying that cow????
Vaughns hands the papers to Jack.
Jack: Thank you! Now Syd, don't call your future stepmother names.
Syd: I-I... But... What about Mom? What'll she think?
Voice from the shadows: Actually Sydney... (the person walks out of the shadows, revealing that it's... Irina!) I'm the one who set it all up.
Syd: (confused) But why?
Irina: Well, after I dumped him and betrayed him for the er... *thinks* umpteenth time, I figured that your father needed someone else who'll have sex with him, betray him, and dump him all over again. *shrug* Maybe he'll actually stop her from doing that. Your father loves good sex, you know?
Syd: (covers her ears) Ewww!! Don't tell me that!!
Vaughn: (taps Syd, she turns around and puts down her hands) You wanna go to my place?
Syd: Umm.. *thinks* OK! (turns to her dad) You were planning this all along, weren't you?
Jack: (evil grin) Yes, I was.
Syd/Lauren: But what about Sark?
Sloane's office in Zurich
Secretary: Mr. Sloane? There's someone here to see you.
Sloane: Send them in.
Sark walks in wearing yummy leather pants, black muscle t-shirt and shades.
Sark: (takes off his shades, he and Sloane makeout a little) Shall we get going, love?
Sloane: (sly grin) Here or at the house?
*Kat runs away from the really wrong thoughts*
What would've happened in "Conscious" if Jack and Lauren were the only ones awake, alone in the same space.
Lauren: Jack?
Jack: Hm?
Lauren: I have something to tell you...
Jack: (turns so that he's facing her) What is it?
Lauren: Well... uh... I have this fetish for old men and...
Jack: God, Lauren! You can't believe how relieved I am that you said that! Kiss me!
*HUGE makeout scene*
Later...
At the CIA
Jack: Everyone, I have an announcement to make.
Syd: What is it, Dad?
Jack: (pulls Lauren close to him, she's beaming and flushed) Lauren and I are getting as soon as Vaughn signs those divorce papers.
Syd: You're marrying that cow????
Vaughns hands the papers to Jack.
Jack: Thank you! Now Syd, don't call your future stepmother names.
Syd: I-I... But... What about Mom? What'll she think?
Voice from the shadows: Actually Sydney... (the person walks out of the shadows, revealing that it's... Irina!) I'm the one who set it all up.
Syd: (confused) But why?
Irina: Well, after I dumped him and betrayed him for the er... *thinks* umpteenth time, I figured that your father needed someone else who'll have sex with him, betray him, and dump him all over again. *shrug* Maybe he'll actually stop her from doing that. Your father loves good sex, you know?
Syd: (covers her ears) Ewww!! Don't tell me that!!
Vaughn: (taps Syd, she turns around and puts down her hands) You wanna go to my place?
Syd: Umm.. *thinks* OK! (turns to her dad) You were planning this all along, weren't you?
Jack: (evil grin) Yes, I was.
Syd/Lauren: But what about Sark?
Sloane's office in Zurich
Secretary: Mr. Sloane? There's someone here to see you.
Sloane: Send them in.
Sark walks in wearing yummy leather pants, black muscle t-shirt and shades.
Sark: (takes off his shades, he and Sloane makeout a little) Shall we get going, love?
Sloane: (sly grin) Here or at the house?
*Kat runs away from the really wrong thoughts*