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Lonely Angel

Discussion in 'Creative Writing & Arts' started by mystery_chick, Jun 10, 2003.

  1. ...becomes a Lonely Angel

    Again, not by me, but my wonderful and talented niece. :D great job :) this is only two parts so enjoy :D

    Lonely Angel

    Part 1:

    The phone line went dead... In all her fury she didn’t even realize she’d thrown the phone to the other side of the apartment until she heard a loud crack!

    Grasping her head and holding it, Sydney Bristow screamed. The pain in her skull was excruciating. It was as though someone took a hail and hammered a nail straight into it, then used the other end to chip pieces away. She pushed her fingers through her hair and started to pull at chunks of it, hoping she could pull all the pain away. Why the hell did this have to happen? She thought wildly. Haven’t I been through enough? Apparently not, she realized, as another burst of pain shot through her.

    Leaning against a wall of her apartment, she had half a mind to bash her head straight through in an attempt to stop this pressure. Her eyes wide, she stumbled down the hall to her phone, hoping to have enough luck on her side to call someone. Anyone. She had barely made it two steps before her legs gave out and she fell forward, the floor rushing up to greet her.

    Trying hard not to start crying, she curled up in a ball, silently begging everything to go away. No such luck. If anything the pain seemed to spread. Clutching her chest, she willed the pain to cease and desist. But then, when did pain ever listen to her? She wondered, just as her heart seemed to squeeze too tightly. The resulting gasp led to a lone tear dripping down her cheek, sliding down along her nose and dropping onto the carpet.

    As hard as she tried to hold them back, more tears followed, gushed down her face as though a miniature Hoover Dam had broken and crumbled within her. The wracking sobs that followed soon had her lungs pleading for air, but the more she tried to breathe, the more powerful the sobs became. Her hair was sticky from the tears, and she felt like she was drowning in salt water. But this was just the beginning.

    Crawling to her dresser, she tried pulling herself up, succeeding slightly. Just before she could straighten herself out, her legs stopped holding her weight and she collapsed onto the floor again. Summoning all her strength, she tried again to pull herself up. Not a chance; she was already so weary from crying, her arms would no longer support her, all she could do was sit.

    Half blinded by the tears, she screamed once again. Somewhat comforted by the wails of a wounded animal, she kept screaming. She screamed random things, anything at all. Her hair was a tangled mess and blocked her vision, her ears were pounding, she could feel every beat as if someone was tugging on her ears from the inside out. Her gut was sore from the hysteria she was in. Her body was shaking, going through small periodic convulsions. Her mind felt like it had spun a million circles after getting drunk and spun around a million more just for laughs.

    Deeply deprived of air, it felt like someone had taken a sledge hammer and decided she was a plaster wall that needed to be torn down. Her ribs were throbbing with pain, her lungs might as well have collapsed, she couldn‘t really tell. All her muscles were sore, she could barely lift her head up anymore as the tears continued streaming down. The screams died down as she threw herself once more at the ground. Closing her eyes, she silently shook, no noise coming out of her opened mouth.

    One thought, and only one crossed her mind. Was this what it was like for a fish out of water? Drowning from the lack of air? As realization finally settled in, she became oblivious to her surroundings, and at last stopped fighting it. Letting herself go, she lay on the floor, and tears cascaded down as they never had before. But this time there would be no on there to comfort her. To hold her and say it’d be okay. Not like it mattered anyway. Nothing would be okay ever again.

    Finding a new strength, she lurches upwards, desperate to stand up. She stumbles down the hallway, crashing into the walls as her weary muscles struggle to hold her up. Her bawling continues as she makes her way to the phone. Fumbling, with her hands, she drops it a few times. Frustrated, she kicks the phone against the wall, hearing that one shatter and lay among the broken fragments of the other.

    Sliding down the side of the counter, she grabs her head again and cries even more, her eyes are bloodshot from the tears that have already been shed. Faintly, she can hear something ringing, but her mind pushes the thought away. Everything fades away, she hears nothing, she knows nothing. For a moment, the world has disappeared. Hugging her legs to her chest, she rocks back and forth trying to calm herself.

    Unfortunately, time wasn’t on her side and her mind started flying with questions as she started berating herself. How could I have been so stupid to think I’d be happy? This was all my fault, how could I have let it happen? Did he know I loved him? Despite what we said to each other? Does he know if I could, I’d take his place? Her mind whirls around with more questions. Her headache worsens, and the room begins to spin. Her heart racing, she hears her cell phone ringing. Practically dragging herself to reach it, she flips it open and answers with an out of breath, “Hello?”

    “Hey Syd!” Will answers cheerfully. She’s about to puke from the happiness in his voice. How can he sound so joyful when.. When Vaughn.. When Vaughn’s.. died. She wonders brokenly. How can he pretend everything is okay? “I was wondering, do you want to go out to dinner tonight?” He asked.

    Her stomach heaved and the acidic taste of her stomach juices greeted her mouth. “You bastard,” she hissed at him as her stomach emptied itself. Her eyes started tearing again, and her esophagus burned. Dimly she could hear Will’s voice asking if she was okay. Things started to spin out of control as she fell over, off balance. Even as she closed her eyes, she could feel the spinning increase, and once more her dinner jumped up to greet the floor.

    Screaming in agony, tears surge from her eyes just as they did moments ago in her bedroom. Crawling away from the harsh aromas of her partially digested food, her mind twists with more thoughts. Why me? She thinks, dragging herself along the carpet. Why does all this have to happen to me? I just want to be happy, is that too much to ask? In her heart though, she knew the answer. Of course it was too much to ask. Anything was too much to ask for her.

    How much more am I going to have to take? She wonders forlornly, ignoring the searing pain from the carpet burns. Oh god… Vaughn’s dead…Stopping for a moment, she tries to regain her bearings. The room spins more slowly as she tries to draw in oxygen. Slowly sitting up, she takes a deep breath and tries to regain some control. Her body shook from the lack of energy, muscles twitched like she was being electrocuted.

    Taking one more shuddering breath, she tries to stand up, bracing herself between the walls of the hallway. At last she sees the world at the same level as before. Taking another step, she lifts her chin up confidently. I can do this. I can live without him. I can take everything life throws at me, She tells herself. Her ankle folds out from under her and she falls to the floor again, fighting back the tears.

    How am I supposed to go on without him? I can’t… I just can’t… She groans softly to herself. Closing her eyes she can feel the pain welling up in her chest again. Just let me die, She wishes mutely. Just let me die… Don’t make me keep going through all this… Someone must really be against her, she thinks as her heart is chipped away. Scratch that, life is against me.

    Once again her body starts having small spasms from holding in all the emotion. Her foot jerks erratically, her stomach seems to twitch, her organs just seem to jump in every direction. With a new determination she gets up and walks stiffly down the hall.

    Reviews people!!!!
    --Mandy :angelic:
  2. IluvVaughn13

    IluvVaughn13 Vaughnster's Girl

    Dec 16, 2002
    Where ever Michael Vartan is (-:
  3. sweetie, it's not mine though i wish i can write that well :LOL:
    --Mandy :angelic:
  4. IluvVaughn13

    IluvVaughn13 Vaughnster's Girl

    Dec 16, 2002
    Where ever Michael Vartan is (-:
  5. allie

    allie Rocket Ranger

    Mar 21, 2003
    *sniffle sniffle* that was brilliant angst!! i really like the title!! hopefully vaughns not really dead *hint* *hint* Post!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
  6. IluvVaughn13

    IluvVaughn13 Vaughnster's Girl

    Dec 16, 2002
    Where ever Michael Vartan is (-:
  7. nance

    nance TUMS

    Apr 18, 2003
    :o Vaughn's dead....? holy felgercarb!!!! and hahahah will is a bastard hahahah!!! this is really good! and oh... poor syd!
  8. bluheart13

    bluheart13 Rocket Ranger

    Feb 26, 2003
    ohhhhhhhhh that was awesome!!!!!!!!!!i hope you post more.
  9. Ames47

    Ames47 Amy Strikes Back

    Mar 31, 2003
    the outskirts of HELL
    i know nance!! omg that was wonderful and depressing and i have so many questions that i need answered!! i hope she continues!!
  10. Xtremelimits08

    Xtremelimits08 Rocket Ranger

    Apr 19, 2003
    more!!!!!!!!!!! I gotta see what happens next!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!wait a minute VAUGHNS DEAD!!!!
  11. SydVaughn1001

    SydVaughn1001 Rocket Ranger

    Feb 27, 2003
    New York
    All I can say is - WOW!! That was intense!
  12. pasta_sauce385

    pasta_sauce385 Rocket Ranger

    Dec 21, 2002
    i agree...very intense...that was amazing!!!
  13. liliana

    liliana Rocket Ranger

    Jan 8, 2003
    South Africa
    that was good Mandy your niece is very talented we all know where she gets that from don't we guys.great chapter boo hoo Vaughn's dead can't wait for more
  14. Crawstinium

    Crawstinium Rocket Ranger

    Jan 15, 2003
    wow this is very nice . . . i must know what happened to vaughn!!! thats not the end, is it?
  15. kate_jones

    kate_jones Rocket Ranger

    Apr 10, 2003
    That was amazing! I love these stories that you bring us, they're so well written. And that was so...I don't know...great! I can't wait to read the second part!
  16. Chapter II

    She enters the bedroom and stands for a few moments, trying to decide which decision would be best. Her stomach churns at the thought of life without Vaughn. Almost enough to make her throw up again. But on the other hand, she has so much left for her. Almost so much. Maybe not. Nothing at all, really, she figures, her heart squeezing painfully.

    If I go, I won’t have to deal with anything anymore. No more pain, no more suffering, no more responsibilities, nor taking care of the world and carrying it around on my shoulders. But does she really want to do this? How should I know? She thinks bitterly, anger swirling in her stomach. People never know what they want. In the end it’s always the wrong thing to want anyway.

    Her lungs seemed to have shrunk, her breathing started to take more of an effort, more so then just sitting on the floor was. Her insides were still swimming from the news, her eyes were rough like, it felt as though someone had slit her eyes so every time she blinked, her eyelids would catch on the flap and it would tear farther. She trembles slightly. Not so much from the cold, more from the trepidation of having to face everything alone now. Being alone forever and that bit.

    Already the isolated feeling had entered her, wrapping around her like a huge blanket, keeping her away from everything else. How she longed to rip that blanket off, watch it burn in the fire. For several moments, she sat there, trying to draw in enough air to feed her starving lungs, listening to the pounding in her ears. Oddly, she felt a certain weight lift from her. She was done with anger. Was that anger? She doubts. It felt more like pain, more like hurt. She wasn’t sure if she wanted to stick around much longer if pain had yet to settle in.

    Groaning, she wants to fall over, she’s too drained to hold herself upright anymore. But she doesn’t. Something inside her makes her stay sitting. That tiny, dratted voice deep down. The voice she’d thought was lost forever. That faint voice called hope. Don’t give up, she hears the voice calling. Her eyes narrow to slits, drawing in a sharp breath. How dare you tell me not to give up? She screamed silently at it. How can you ask me to keep going? It’s never worked before! NEVER! I don’t see why the hell I have to do it again!

    Pushing the voice away, out of mind forever, she wracks her mind furiously, coming to a decision. How should it happen? She wonders. It doesn’t matter that much. As long as it happens. She remembers a small bottle. She’d gotten it some time ago, she didn’t even know why. Maybe it was the gut feeling that she’d need it sometime. Obviously she was right. Staggering to her feet, half blinded by pain and sorrow she makes her way back down the hall.

    Practically dragging herself, her hands fumble for support as she tries to hold herself up. Her empty stomach churns as she passes the regurgitated food, reminding her of earlier hurt. The thought of the pain yet to come makes her all the more desperate to reach the bottle, to find her release. Tripping over anything in her path, she reaches the kitchen and begins her raid, pulling out drawers and opening cupboards. Dumping things out, she can’t find anything. For a minute she wonders if it’s here at all. But I remember it so clearly, she thinks frantically, seeing the bottle in her mind. Other bottles go crashing to the floor, the glass shattering everywhere, cans of food collide with the floor and burst open, spitting the contents in every direction.

    She doesn’t care though. All that matters is finding that bottle. She lets out a cry of frustration as she realizes she’s been through all the compartments and not found it. “Dammit!” She screams, kicking the fridge. Why can’t I just get one damned break? “Why?!” She shrieks, her thoughts becoming words. “Why can’t I just have this one thing?” She asks, sinking down onto the cold tile, tears pricking once more at her eyes. “It just isn’t fair,” she murmurs as her heavy heart sinks lower in her chest.

    So overwhelmed, she doesn’t even realize she’s lying on glass, the pieces cutting into her flesh as she sobs, her blood mixing with the liquids. Numbness seems to shelter her from physical pain. Rolling over, more glass pierces her, embedding themselves into her skin. A sudden sadistic feeling comes over her, as she watches her blood twisting around, changing the clear water into pink. The desolation gathering in her stomach brought her to reality. She has to find that bottle. Gripping the oven handle for support, she heaves herself upward.

    Stumbling into the counter, she climbs onto it and opens the overhanging cupboards. Discarding all the items onto the floor, she spots it. The blue bottle. Her feelings betray her as she feels a small flicker of hope. It doesn’t matter, she thinks. I finally have my release. Holding onto the bottle like it was her savior, she gets down. Her bare feet crunch over the glass, but she doesn’t feel the stinging bite. She just needs to get to her bedroom, and then she’ll be fine. Blood trials behind her, leaving deep red stains on the carpet.

    She holds her head high, determination setting in her. Not one trace of a doubt haunts her. Sitting down on her bed, she holds the bottle and stares at it. She knows she wants this. After all the pain she had to suffer, everyone dying, everything changing for the worse, nothing going right. The betrayal, the lies, the hurt. She just wants all the hurting to numb and go away. Uncapping the bottle, she takes a breath to prepare herself. Who knew it would be so hard? She asked. It was hard. Not because of the people she might hurt, God knows there were so few. None, even. It was because, for a moment anyway, she didn’t want to know she’d stooped this low to get rid of her pain.

    Her brain suddenly freezes on something. She realizes there is one person who still cares. Maybe two. Placing the bottle carefully on her nightstand, she stumbles over to her desk. Her heart is still aching painfully as she takes a pen and a piece of paper. There were so many things to write, to tell, but she didn’t want to be here any longer. She scratches a few words down and seems satisfied. Pondering a bit, she realizes there is the other still. Even fewer words are stained onto the paper by the pen. As she caps the pen, she feels a small elation run through her. She’s taken care of things. Now she can finally take care of herself.

    Finding herself back at her bed, she clutches the bottle once more. Another moment of despair creeps to her, engulfing her until she feels as though her heart has broken from the agony of life. Her will to live is gone. Her spirit has shattered. She can only imagine what would people would say. Everyone has a breaking point, she figures. A point when they can’t take anymore, they can’t go on. A moment when they feel they’ve been destroyed by life. She’d gone well beyond hers.

    No regrets. That was the last clear thought in her mind as she lifts the bottle to her lips and drowns herself in the fluid. Different feelings come over her. This time it isn’t pain; it isn’t misery, or anguish. It isn’t even anger. Now it’s drowsiness that brings a certain kind of calm and tranquility. The feeling of comfort over comes them all, knowing she’s finally away from it all. Finally found her outlet.

    A small smile crawls to her lips as all the energy is drained from her, all the fury that had contained her earlier flowed from her, a sense of peace replacing it. No more suffering. It’s all over. The lonely angel has finally found her soul once more. :angelfly:

    *cries* well there you have it .... :(
    --Mandy :angelic:
  17. krzykty57789

    krzykty57789 Rocket Ranger

    May 7, 2003
    that was sad, but wonderful writing...wipes away tears....is there another chapter or is this it
  18. Italian fan

    Italian fan Rocket Ranger

    May 6, 2003
    Oh my god.....this is so sad!!! :(
    It's very thouching!!
    i hope there is another chap!!
    Great job!
  19. pennstatechic

    pennstatechic Rocket Ranger

    Jan 26, 2003
    Florida (Now PA for college)
    OMG, this is soad. I feel so bad for sydney. You can feel her pain. Such great writing. Vaughn's Dead? :( What no...... I hope he some how gets um risen, or um.. he's not really dead! :D wink, wink!! ;) Anway, it's lovely, and I think it's an awesome start. Can I get a pm when you update? Thanks :D

    Love ya,

    Lauren :angelic:
  20. Alias Fan Gillian

    Alias Fan Gillian Rocket Ranger

    Jun 21, 2003
    This is really well written. Are you going to post more? If you do can you pm me.

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