Loss Of Innocence

*gets out from behind the couch and waves timidly* Hi...So we really shouldn't promise to update often because we apparently suck at it but we do intend to finish the story, that's all I can promise. :smiley:






Chapter 20




‘This can’t be true’ This thought was running through her head nonstop. Staring out of the window, she desperately tried to find a solution. How was she going to get out of this? She had never expected Michael to do such a thing and she briefly wondered whether he had lost his mind. Because what he was doing right now was definitely insane.

When they finally pulled into a small driveway, away from any kind of civilization, Sydney felt more than a little uncomfortable at the thought of what was to come. She didn’t know where they were or even how much time had passed since she had gotten into the car. Turning her head to look at the clock in the car, she noticed that they must have driven for at least three hours. Therefore they really were far away from New York.

“Where are we?” Sydney asked, looking around and she was surprised that she was still sounding very polite, the complete contrary to what she was feeling.

“A cabin,” Michael answered, dodging to answer the question fully.

“I can see that,” Sydney said annoyed, rolling her eyes.

“Well, that’s all you need to know,” Michael opened the door and got out of the car, walking around to the car to help Sydney out.

Seeing him standing next to her, looking at her expectantly, she crossed her arm and shook her head, “I’m not getting out.”

“Come on, you don’t really have a choice, though if you want you can sleep in the car,” Michael shrugged. He hated being mean to her, especially since this whole situation could turn out really badly, but he felt like at the moment he didn’t have another choice. Being nice to her wouldn’t get him very far.

“Where the hell are we?” Sydney asked again, this time with more anger in her voice, clearly getting more and more worked up over the situation.

“Does it really matter?” Michael said but the look he received from her told him ‘yes’, “It belongs to my grandparents, and really, there’s nothing around. So, you might as well get out there and come inside with me.”

“I don’t think so,” Sydney replied stubbornly and wondered why he even thought she would do that, “You are gonna drive me home.”

“I don’t think so,” Michael repeated her sentence, “The next town is miles away, nothing you can walk, so get out and come.”

“Why should I?” Sydney raised an eyebrow at him. This whole thing was getting more and more annoying and she wondered how she would get him to change his mind.

“It gets quite cold during the night,” Michael shrugged and walked away, opening the door to the cottage.

“You’re insane, you know that, right?” Sydney shouted after him, finally leaving the car and followed him halfway. No way would she step into the cottage. “Why are you doing that?”

“I want to help you,” Michael turned and answered, looking at her determinately.

Sydney let out an annoyed, angry sigh, “Damn it, I don’t need you help, when will you get that? All I want from you is to drive me home and leave me the hell alone.”

”I can’t do that,” Michel shook his head sadly.

“Just mind your own damn business and butt out of mine,” This was ridiculous. He couldn’t just force her against her will to stay. She was sure that this had to be illegal in some way.

“Actually, I can’t,” Michael replied and walked inside, leaving the door open.

“I’m not coming in,” Sydney shouted after him, hoping he would could still hear her.

“Do as you please,” She heard him call back from the inside.

‘Do as you please’ Sydney rolled her eyes. If you could do what she wanted, she would have been gone minutes ago, or better wouldn’t even be here in the first place. She looked around and all she saw were trees, there wasn’t even something to sit down. It was already dimly and so she decided to have a look around before it was too dark to see anything.

Maybe there was something close and Michael had lied to her, though she doubted that. After all, it seemed as he had planned that thoroughly. So it was only logically that he had considered that, too. Walking to the back of the cottage, she saw a swing there. It probably had been for Michael when had been a child.

Since there was nothing else, she figured she could as well sit there. It was always better then sitting in the dirt. Swinging slightly, she wondered what she would do now for what must have been the hundreds time in the last hour. She had still no idea and the wind got colder. Staying outside all night wasn’t really an option at this point. But so was going in.

She just couldn’t give him the satisfaction of winning. What was bothering her even more was that soon she would get an even more serious problem than she had right now. She knew that Michael wouldn’t anything to her, even though he was acting like he was crazy. The reason for all this was pretty easy to figure out and soon she would give him the last piece of prove he needed to be sure of her problem.



TBC




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So, not only is Sydney being stubborn but soon she's going to be freezing and going through withdrawal. She's in for a looong night.

Chris
 
An update! YAY 👅 A little bit short though :rolleyes: (that's only because I'm a little bit impatient - no critic!) 👅

I want Michael to admit his feelings for her. I want Sydney to stop being so stubborn and let Michael help her...

She better move her butt into that cabin otherwise I'm gonna kick her inside :D

Thx for the update!

:hug: cookie
 
Chapter 21



He had gone inside. He had actually gone inside the cottage and had left her out there. Didn't he undestand that she was not gonna come in? She had thought that once he saw that she was not coming in, he would come back out, see that she was serious and drive her home. Wishful thinking she knew, but it had been nice while it lasted. Now, probably half an hour later, she was still out and he hadn't even come to check on her once.

She had tried to walk around a bit to see if she could find something around. Another house, a car, a phone...anything. But Michael had been truthful about that at least. There wasn't anything at all. Only the forest around them. They really were in the middle of nowhere. So she had decided to walk back to the house since the night was starting to fall and she didn't want to get lost in the middle of a forest she did not know.

The sky was almost completely dark now, a few stars starting to shine in the night and she kept looking at it, gently swaying back and forth on the swing, hoping that maybe if she stared up in long enough it would give her the answers she was looking for.

“Seriously?” Sydney muttered disbelievingly looking up at the sky again, and, although she failed to notice it, her lip trembled as she spoke. “Do you really hate me that much?” She asked quietly. Who she was talking to, she wasn't really sure herself. God, Fate...or whoever was up there had to hate her, because she was the one who had been getting the short end of the stick every time. It had started when she was a child and it still hadn't stopped now.

She didn't understand. Didn't understand why or how she had ended up here with Michael. How did they go from her helping him after almost killing him to his quasi-kidnapping of today. Why didn't he listen to her when she told him to stay out of her life? Why did he have to be so damn stubborn? She didn't need him to play the knight in shining armor to her damsel in distress. She didn't need it, she didn't need him. She wasn't in distress. She was fine. She may not have a perfect life but she had stopped believing in happily ever after a long time ago. And she was fine with it... Great...Now she even sounded delusional to herself.

She didn't understand why he would want to help her. Hadn't she been clear the last few times they saw each other? He couldn't help her. They were too diferent. They belonged to two diferent worlds that did not mix...at all.

The night was chilly and she tried to wrap her small coat tighter around herself. As she swayed, she rested her head against one of the rope that was holding the swing she was sitting on. A small tear escaped out of her eye as she she kept looking at the sky, trying to clear her head, trying to get back that feeling of numbness that so often took place inside of her. It was easier that way. Things hurt less.

She finally looked around once more. The cabin looked old but well taken care of. Small flowers and plants were strategically placed all around the small cottage to give it a lived-in feeling. She imagined the inside of the house had to be the same.

Somewhere to her left, she noticed a few flowers planted at the feet of a willow tree. But what drew her attention was the marks on the tree. She got up and walked toward it, kneeling down next to the tree and lightly brushing her fingers over them. They looked like the kind of marks children drew sometimes on trees or rocks with their parents to leave an imprint of their passage here. M which she guessed was Michael. A heart with two capital letters under it another M and a D followed by a date.

She remembered doing that once with her father. Before he died and her mother got married again to that...No need to think about it again, she snorted, It's over and done with.

After a few seconds, she stood up again, stretching her legs as she did so. Her coat wasn't really doing anything for her. She was getting colder by the minute but she reeled at having to admit defeat and go inside with Michael.

She couldn't spend a long time in an enclosed place with him or it wouldn't be long before he noticed something was wrong with her. Well, he already knew that since he had more or less kidnapped her to bring her here. But it didn't mean she wanted him to know all the details or to see it.

She couldn't stomach the thought of him seeing her like that. He had been the first person in a long time who treated her normally, who didn't seem to want something from her except be her friend which is exactly why she was trying to push him away. He had made her feel normal once again and she knew that if he stayed in her life, it wouldn't end well for him. It never did.

Sydney took a minute to watch the house. It was a small wooden colored log cabin overlooking the forest below. Windows spanned the side of the house that faced the side where the sun would rise. A porch wrapped around the entire structure. Small bushes had been planted along the edge of the home.

She walked toward the house quietly a few minutes later, when the temperature became much too cold for her to stay outside, trying not too make too much noise. She walked up the few stairs and onto the porch, stopping to stand next to a window a few fee away from the door. She peered inside and saw sitting inside the open kitchen, casualy leaning against the counter reading some kind of book while something was cooking on the stove.

The kitchen was open on the living room, a large fireplace situated in front of the couch, a TV placed on an old looking piece of furniture on the left side of the house.

For some reason, this made her angry. He kidnapped her and he didn't have the decency to come outside at least once to see if she hadn't died from hypotermia, instead he was reading and cooking. Oh, she might not have a choice in staying or going but that didn't mean she had to let him play this little game of will he seemed to want to play.

She willed herself to go in, strenghtening her resolve to get out of this and move on as she always did.

She put her hand on the knob of the door and pushed it open, not bothering to knock or say anything as she walked in the living room.





TBC




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Please R and R :smiley:
 
Well, we know who won the first round of the battle of wills. But you know it isn't over- not by a long shot. However, I do wonder if Michael does feel guilty about not checking up on her?

Thanks for the PM.

Chris
 
Sydney Derevko Bristow said:
An update without any interaction, you know you are killing us here, don't you? 👅
Click to expand...


Maybe... but we still got a very good insight into what Sydney is thinking and we also learn that her childhood wasn't as pink as we might have first believed.... at least I thought that at some point of her life (teenage years) things went wrong for her.... not since her childhood...



First : YAY you updated ! Well then again… servers have been way too busy lately… *sigh *

Anyway… there’s no use sulking about that subject. :smiley:

I feel sorry for Sydney. Does she really think that Michael has kidnapped… all right he might have in some way… but we all know that he technically didn’t kidnap her… I hope that at some point of this she is going to realise that he only want what is best for her. Sydney might not believe in a happy ever after life… but she could still believe in love, couldn’t she? She deserves it so bad after all!!!!!

Sydney thinking that they are too different from one another is also a little bit delusional. How could she think this way without even knowing him? Without even trying to getting to know him???

Message to Sydney: Let yourself be happy for once in your life! This way you will be happy forever and you will have your happy ever after life – as long as you listen to your heart!
 
Finally, a new update :Ph34r: God, it's been long. But we're still writing, just very slowly. Please stick with us :smiley:


Chapter 22

Ignoring him was harder than she had thought. Even though she sat at the very end of the other site of the room and was reading a book, she was still feeling him watching her. It was unnerving her to say the least, more like annoying her immensely. Couldn’t he at least mind his own business while they were in the same room? It’s not like she could do anything.

She tried to concentrate on her book for a few more minutes before she sighed and looked up angrily, “What is it, Michael?”

He glanced at her like a deer caught in the headlight and mumbled ‘nothing’ before looking away. To Sydney’s dislike he managed to keep that up for exactly two minutes before she saw him staring at her again.

“Michael!” She scolded angrily, “What?”

“Sorry, nothing, keep reading,” Michael replied quietly.

“No, seriously, what is it?” Sydney asked, giving him an indefinable look; something between curiosity and pure anger, “What do you want?”

“What do you mean?” The confusion in his voice mirrored his expression.

“Why are you doing this? And don’t give me this ‘I want to help you felgercarb’.” Sydney answered, letting out a frustrated sigh while closing her book and discarding it to the floor somewhere close to her. Not that she cared much about it, she couldn’t even remember what it was about anymore.

“But that’s why I’m doing it,” Michael replied a bit desperate, trying to make her understand his reasoning.

“Yeah, right,” Sydney rolled her eyes in response, “Is it sex?” She asked coldly, “’Cause honestly, you could have just paid for it,” So that wasn’t really true but seeing him flinch was more than worth it. She wouldn’t have done that, but Michael didn’t know that.

“God, no! Is it so hard for you to believe that someone wants to help you?” He asked, giving her an angry look.

“Actually, I don’t,” Sydney shook her head and crossed her arms in front of her chest, “No one ever does anything without wanting something. So, what’s the deal with you?”

Michael was silent for a moment, wondering if he should explain it, or better, if he could explain it. First he didn’t want to tell her how he felt about her because he didn’t want to freak her out, or scare her away. Now, he had already freaked her out so it shouldn’t matter anymore. But it did. “Do I really need to have a reason for wanting to help someone I care about?” Okay, saying ‘care about’ was as close to the truth Michael as wanted to go.

“Yeah, as if you really cared about me,” Sydney scoffed, “I’m not your charity project, can’t you just leave me alone and go away? Forever?”

“I can’t,” Michael said firmly, finally closing the book was still holding in his hands and looking directly at Sydney and she could see conviction written all over his face.

“But why?” Her voice was a mix of frustration and desperation. She needed a reason, something to understand why this was happening. “Just give me something here,” She hated the urgency and need with what she was saying this.

“I…” Michael stopped for a moment, pondering if he should really say it. It could make the situation so much worse. Though, who was he kidding; it would make this situation so much worse. No doubt about that. But he also sensed that he needed to give Sydney some kind of reason if he wanted to gain some kind of trust from her. Even if he had to put himself out there. “I think I’m in love with you.”

His voice was so low and quiet that at first Sydney wasn’t sure she had heard right. “You think you’re in love with me?” She gulped and when he nodded weakly, she sighed heavily. The first thing that came to her mind was ‘felgercarb’, quickly followed by a very sarcastic ‘great’. This was getting worse by the seconds. “Well, that… must suck for you,” She said coldly, “And I don’t really care. Remember I have a boyfriend?”

There was this tiny voice in her head telling her she was unnecessarily cruel to him, but most of her wanted to get away and him out of her life. If it meant hurting him, then so it be. It wasn’t like she had asked him to butt into her business.

“Yeah, right, your boyfriend,” Michael replied, admittedly a little bit hurt by her coldness but he should have expected that, “Guess he’s a junkie just like you.” He regretted the words as soon as they had left his mouth.

“Oh, and you’re so high and mighty. What you wanna do? Save me, help me get clean?” Sydney gave him a cold glance and anger was boiling inside of her, “You just miss the point. I don’t want your help or get clean. I’m fine just the way I am.”

“It must be great being addicted to that felgercarb and working at that place,” Michael snapped at her, “You seem so freaking happy with your life.”

“And you want to be my knight in shining armor or what? Save me from myself?” Sydney laughed bitterly, “You think I come running to you once you got me straightened out. That’s my life. What do you think happens once we leave here? You can’t keep me here all my life.”

“No, I can’t. But I can help you get your life back on track,” Michael talked back, wanting to make her see his point. He could help her, if only she let him.

Sydney sighed frustrated, “Could you just get over yourself? I don’t need anyone to save me; I’ve been fine by myself all my life.” Maybe not all her life. But she had learned to look after herself, take care of herself. There had been no one else she could rely on. She would be damned if she started now. “I won’t be thankful, I won’t be grateful, or whatever you expect.”

“I don’t expect anything from you,” Michael hurried to assure her. This was all going so wrong. He wasn’t getting one bit closer to getting her trust or even getting her to agree to let him help. He hadn’t thought it would be this hard.

“Yeah, right.” Sydney rolled her eyes. No one expected ever nothing, no one did ever do something for no reason. Whatever he thought of his reasons, Sydney knew he had expectations to what was going to happen. “You know nothing about me or my life. You don’t understand it, and you won’t. Just get out of my life.”

“Then tell me about your life,” Michael pleaded lightly, “Help me understand.”

Sydney shook her head and replied evenly and detached, her voice free of any emotion, “I don’t think so. I have no reason whatsoever. My life is none of your business.”

The first light tremble in her left hand caught all her attention and she stopped focusing on Michael. ‘Damn’, it was starting and Sydney had no clue what to do. She flexed her hands a few times and the moved it under her thigh to hide it.

Unfortunately, this didn’t really go unnoticed by Michael. “You okay?”

“What do you think?” She snapped. Why was he asking such stupid questions. He knew very well what was going on. After all this was the reason why she was in this mess in the first place. “I’m just gonna go to that bathroom for a moment,” She said while standing up, grabbing her purse.

“Wait,” Michael called and was next to her in a matter of seconds, grabbing her arm lightly.




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I am very happy that you guys don't give up on this story. I liked how this chapter was about them talking things out but I would have loved to read a longer chapter :blush: since the updates are infrequent Sydney's misunderstanding of Michael is taking months and it is heartbreaking :blush:
 
Michael may have wanted Sydney to open up to him but what he's getting instead is her temper. And soon he's going to be getting something else along with her anger- withdrawal. Things are about to get ugly.

Thanks for updating.

Chris
 
We all know what Michael's feelings are for Sydney and Sydney knows it too now. Although she doesn't really get what he means... You can't just tell something that you think you are falling in love without actually meaning it. Sydney doesn't know what the feeling of being in love is, hence she starts building another wall all around her to protect herself. Now she even has an other reason for building that wall higher (am I making sense here?) :thinking:

Michael wants to help, but all Sydney sees is that he is surely expecting something in return. I guess that in some point Michael still expects her to love him (or to have the same feelings for him) as he does for her. It's not going to work that way though! It won't be that easy...

Now Michael has cornered Sydney and all he is going to get out of this is a HUGE withdrawal from her side like ChrisM said.

Thanks for the update and please update soon again!

👅

MERRY CHRISTMAS

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