Season 4 MissingSark/CJ Recap

Season 4: Episode 19 In Dreams…

Last night’s episode was pretty rad considering it was jen’s directing debut. I mean, how did u find the time to do that? In between breaking up with Vaughn and getting pregnant with Ben Affleck’s baby and all? I think Jen Garner has something against Ron Rifkin too. Doncha think? She totally made him look like the biggest pansie ever last night. I felt bad for him because he was so pathetic. Wouldn’t it be weird too if she casted Ben A$$fleck on the show too? That would’ve sucked. Seriously. Ben’s like King Mida$$ these days. Everything he touches turns to a$$. He would’ve made it alia$$ last night. Okay enough a$$ jokes. Time to get on with the recap.

The show starts off outside a mona$$tery. <sorry, that was the la$$t one. Whoops. I meant THAT was the last one>. So the Cloanemobile pulls up. Cloane is back! What’s he up to, now that he lost that big sphere of life? And Dr. Sandy Hands? I wonder how Sandy is doing these days. I doubt there are support groups out there for individuals depressed about having parts of their body sanded down. So the priests are pretty hardcore. They wait for Cloane at the gate. Cloane walks up to them. They give him the pat down. One priest has a freakin elephant gun! Damn father McSniper! Remind me to make sure to go to church this Sunday. So they allow Cloane in. They pan to the top of the gate. You see this .. <0>….duh duh duh! It’s the order of Rambaldi. They bring him to the head priest. Cloane says he’s involved in anti-terrorism and he wants to …..Father McExtra cuts in “our bees are not for sale.” Eh? Been taking one too many swigs from the wine, huh Father McExtra? You better watch who you’re talking to, Father. Just cuz you’re a priest doesn’t mean anything when you’re an……..EXTRA. It overrides your lifetime on the show by definition. Cloane asks for a tour of the Rambaldi Monastery. The Rambaldistery. So father McExtra is showing Cloane all the Rambal-bees. Explains that they have a deadly venom. But they are engineered in a way so that they have no aggression towards anyone. They just simply live to work hard and be productive. And they were created that way through some Rambaldi juice. From some kind of Rambaldi orchid. Any of you guys ever see that movie Equilibrium? With Jonathan Bale? It’s sort of the same concept. DEF recommend that movie. So yea, the Rambal-bees ARE really nice and flying around. Making the priests breakfast…..u know…picking up their dry cleaning…..all that stuff you hire interns for. So it’s kinda weird. They go into the greenhouse. Cloane spots his prize. It’s the Rambaldi orchid!! Some flower that was thought to be extinct. Marco Polo brought it to Europe centuries ago. And was thought to be extinct. Cloane asks for a cut from the orchid. Father McExtra is like “pssshhhyeawhatever man! Get lost!” Cloane says fine. But then calls up the Cloanemobile and there are 2 ppl in there. One guy and one hottie. They happen to have ANOTHER sphere of life. Damn. How many of those does Cloane have? Sloane already used one to give a beat down to Cloane’s last henchman extra. So they activate it. The bees start going nuts. They pretty much start stinging everyone in the Rambaldistery and all the priests die. Father McExtra is the only one left. He’s barely hanging in there. Cloane has his net on and is totally immune to bees at this point. Grabs the elephant gun. Walks over to father McExtra. Father McExtra is like “nooo. Please save me”. Cloane offers him an antidote as long as he gets the formula of the Rambaldi elixir. Father McExtra tells him to go to hell. <are priests allow to say stuff like that?> Cloane just aims his gun and says “you first”. BOOM! Shoots him right in the face! Damn, I kinda like Cloane! He’s pretty bad a$$. He carried on a mission himself?? Not even the REAL Sloane does that!

Cut to Xmansion. CJ and Syd are at the Dr’s office. He’s getting something done to him. Anti-Radioactive therapy or something like that. I assume that he’s cured. Or in the process of being cured thanks to the help of Dr. Lidell. The REAL Dr. Lidell. Not the fake one that tried to junky him all up in the abandoned warehouse of crazy hallucinating spy dads. CJ and Syd have a “moment” where he thanks her for helping him out last episode. Syd thanks him for not trying to seduce her on the kitchen floor. They get called in for a briefing.

War room. Sloane tells them about what happened at the Rambaldistery. And from satellite footage, they know Cloane’s back. Their mission is to retrieve the orchid and apprehend Cloane. Tells them to have a plan on his desk in a few hours. Then dismisses them. Nice. It’s soweet to be the boss sometimes. CJ asks for a moment after the team leaves. When they’re alone, they go at it. Not sure what is going on here but apparently CJ knew about the orchid and what’s it’s capable of and something Sloane did will get him in a lot of trouble. They agree that they will give it 72 hours before they go to CIA with the intel that will get them both thrown in jail. Oooh, what’s the info??

Syd’s house. They are having a spy pow wow in her living room. They figure out to set a trap for Cloane using Rambaldi pages. Well, Syd figures it all out. I mean, she’s directing and all. They set it all up to happen in an auction house. So where’s the terrornanny? Is hiding under the couch taking notes? Maybe she’s over at ADP’s making more of those empanadas he likes. That would explain why ADP wasn’t at the spy pow wow.

Parisian Auction House of Rambaldi felgercarb. Hottya and Dixon both go in as a couple. Syd is directing from the xmansion. Hottya is dressed like what looks like……Syd. Seriously. That red hair/glasses thing Syd does all the time. I think Hottya just jacked her alias. So they enter the auction hall. The next lot comes up. Guess what number it is…..Lot 47! Ding ding ding! So, the auctioneer brings it out. Instructs bidders to come up and examine the pages but not to touch it. Hottya goes up there. She kinda just pretends to be staring at the pages but in fact, using her camera glasses to ID all the ppl checking out the pages. One guy comes up. Sloane knows him Says he’s a rambaldi freak. Next guy comes up. Slaone knows him. Rambaldi freaks flock together I guess. The hot extra girl from the Cloane Mobilie comes up. Sloane doesn’t know who she is. Hottya sees her name on the nametag and they to ID her. They figure out she’s a fake because her name doesn’t exist anywhere. They have a target. The pages are taken away to some back room. Bidding starts. Hot Extra bids. Everyone else bids. For some reason, she doesn’t bid anymore. And walks out. The team senses something is wrong. Hottya goes after her. Hot extra starts running. Dixon gives chase too. I think Sloane figures that she’s a distraction and instructs Dixon to go after the pages. Too late. The other guy from the Cloane mobile stole them. Dixon tells Hottya to come back to go after the pages so they lose Hot extra. This is prob the worst trap ever set. Is Vaughn leading it by any chance? They show Vaughn and Marshall in the APO-mobile. I guess not. The Cloane baddie made it outside to some alley and runs to a truck. Dixon is giving chase. The truck takes off. The Apo-mobile blocks its path. Shooting. Dixon takes out the driver who was about to shoot Vaughn. <How many times has someone had to step in and shoot someone in order to save Vaughn? This must be like the 47th time!> Vaughn, Marshall, Dixon, and Hottya pull their guns out and open up the back door to the truck. Cloane is in there with the Rambaldi pages. Caught! Cloane says “hello Dixon”. Mission accomplished.

So they bring Cloane back to the Xmansion. They are in some interrogation room. Crazy Jack steps in. Cloane gives him a happy hello. Sloane walks in. Cloane says he has no clue who that is. So weird. So they chit chat but all that comes out of it is that Cloane really thinks he’s Sloane. This is crazy. I’m starting to doubt that Sloane is really Sloane. Maybe he’s Cloane and Cloane is really Sloane!

Marshall who is monitoring both their brainwave patterns compares them and says that everyone’s brain pattern should be unique but for some crazy reason, they are identical. So they can’t figure out who Cloane is because he won’t answer their questions. Jaymee pointed out, “why don’t they just check his fingerprints?….. I’m hungry.” Good point. Why didn’t u think of that, Marshall? Jen, stop taking directing suggestions from your boyfriend.

War room. CJ and Sloane are giving the dl on a procedure from SD6 called “project brainstorm” in which the evil torture guy McCullough was experimenting on brain imprinting. It looks like Cloane had an imprint of Sloane’s brain slapped onto his so he really does think he’s Sloane. Syd: “Let’s get McCullogh and figure out what happened.” Sloane: “No can do. I tipped him off about the Phase One raid in S2 so he got away. I owed him a favor and this is how he repays me!” Whoa! Better not let Sloane near McCullogh if he has any Rambaldi objects in his hands! Sloane sends Dixon and Vaughn after McCullough.

Smokey Joe’s Torture Diner. Dixon and Vaughn find McCullogh. Dixon says the real Sloane sent them and they want to know where the orchid is, who he’s working for, etc. Dixon must have taken some of Vaughn’s stupid pills because he doesn’t notice McCullogh put something in his coffee. McCullough confesses that he made Cloane believe he’s Sloane, that he’s working for some unnamed baddie *coughElenacough* and that he’s not wearing any underwear. The he starts flopping around and says he put cyanide in his own coffee and of course, he dies without giving up any useful information. Should of known that this mission would be unsuccessful. Vaughn was part of the team.

Xmansion. Syd visits Cloane. She wants to know where the orchid is. Cloane wants Syd to ask him a question about evolution. He found a way to put one of Rambaldi’s formulas into practice. Cloane’s claiming to be a good guy because he can evolve people into good people by taking the aggressiveness out of them - like the terrorbees. Syd wants to know how Cloane was planning to do this. He was going to administer the formula into drinking water and it would quietly alter people’s brains and make them gentler, empathetic, push-overs that he could turn into his puppets and they would set him up as King Cloane.

Hallway of Criminal Mastermind Confessions. Sloane’s confessing that he put part of Rambaldi’s formula into the water to create a more peaceful species. He didn’t have the orchid so he tried to synthesize its nectar. 300 to 400 million people drank the contaminated water and if they’re exposed to the nectar from the orchid, the formula will be complete. It will probably lead to genocide or some evil terrornanny trying to take over the world. That’s just great.

Office of Rampaging Daughers who Forget that their Fathers Exposed Themselves to Lethal Amounts of Radiation in order to Save their Lives. Syd’s chewing out CJ because he knew what Sloane did. CJ tries to rationalize it because he wasn’t after genocide but world peace. I knew Sloane was a glorified hippie! Syd’s not buying it. Syd; “You as guilty as Sloane because you knew what he did and said nothing about it!” So much for the relationship progress they made earlier in the episode.

War Room. Marshall’s come up with this crazy idea to get Cloane to reveal the location of the orchid. They’re going to shock the truth out of Cloane by using hypnotic regression. Cloane’s real personality will reject it. Marshall: “In order to do this Sloane’s going to have to relieve a painful memory and then I’ll upload that painful memory into Cloane’s brain.” The way Marshall explains it, he makes it seem so easy ….kinda like uploading songs onto your ipod or something. Well, I always screw that up so I guess I shouldn’t be going around uploading ppl’s worst nightmares into anyone any time soon. Well that doesn’t sound like too much fun for Sloane, but who cares? He’s a Danny-killer, Francie-killer, Diane-killer, injected his daughter with green goo, and he kicks puppies. Sloane: “It’s time to go back to Jacquelyn.”

Interrogation/Hypnosis Room. Sloane’s all strapped in so Marshall’s ready to record his experience. CJ’s talking to Sloane. CJ: “Go back to your happy place Arvin and tell me about Jacquelyn.” In his dream, he’s with Emily at a villa. They’re upset. Sloane says that they will get past Jacquelyn, but Emily says that she doesn’t want him to say her name ever again. Sloane wants Emily to let him in but Emily says that she’s alone in this. In the dream, CJ appears. CJ: “Go back further to when you first met Jacquelyn.” Sloane rewinds his dream. He sees Emily gardening at the villa and she’s pregnant. He wants her to sit still because she’s too pregnant to be working so hard. They start talking about baby names. They decide to name their baby Jacquelyn. Back in reality, Hottya seems a little upset by this revelation. Sloane seems to be having brain problems because he’s resisting the hypnosis. CJ tells him to keep going. In the dream, Emily’s in the hospital. She wants to know what happened to Jacquelyn. Sloane: “She fought to stay with us, but her heart was weak.” Emily starts crying and Sloane starts crying. In the chair, Sloane’s crying for his baby and saying that he’s sorry. On my couch, I’m crying because it’s all so sad. Marshall says that he has enough to break down the imposter. Thank goodness! I can’t handle anymore talk about Jacquelyn.

The Other Interrogation/Hypnosis Room because the Xmansion has more than one. CJ’s strapping Cloane into the chair while Cloane’s raising holy hell. Apparently, CJ taught Sloane how to withstand torture so Cloane thinks that he can handle whatever CJ throws at him. <So did CJ and Sloane used to get together for a weekly torture session instead of the usual poker game? CJ: “Tell me your secret recipe for chocolate chip cookies or I’m going to stab you with hot pokers!” Sloane: “No! Never! Aaggh!” CJ: “You gotta make me believe it, Arvin!”> They shock Cloane’s brain with the memories of Jacquelyn and this snaps Cloane out of it. Cloane says that his real name is Ned Bolger. He’s an army guy. He says that the orchid is in a warehouse in Switzerland. Then Ned tells CJ that he betrayed him because he thinks he’s Cloane again. Then he says that they can’t torture a US army guy because he’s Ned again. Ned Cloane is clearly having some issues. Hottya comes in: “We have a more important problem than Ned’s multiple personality disorder.” Sloane’s not waking up out of the hypnotic state.

Back to the First Interrogation/Hypnosis Room. Sloane’s in the chair. He’s all happy and smiling to himself because he thinks his still at the villa with Emily and baby Jacquelyn. His serotonin levels are high and he’s stuck in Happy La-La Land. Marshall: “This is dangerous because he could literally die from happiness!” Syd: “No way is that going to happen! We’re not going to let him die of happiness! He needs to suffer many years for his crimes and die in some horribly violent way! Find a way to wake him up now, Marshall!” Marshall suggests they reboot his brain by having someone try and talk him into leaving Happy La La Land and coming back to Unhappy LA Land. Hottya’s going to do it since she’s really the only one who likes Sloane. She suddenly appears in Sloane’s dream. Sloane: “Do I know you? You’re hot!” Hottya: “It’s me, Hottya. Your daughter. You can’t stay here because your work isn’t done.” Sloane: “I can’t come with you because of all the bad things I’ve done. Why don’t you stay with me and my family in Happy La La Land? You don’t have to pretend to like that ADP guy if you stay here.” Hottya: “Emily and Jacquelyn are gone. You gotta snap out of this.” Sloane: “I used to be a good man but now I’m a monster who contaminates the drinking water of millions of people and beats hoodlums to death with Rambaldi objects.” Hottya: “I know you used to be a good man and now you’re a crazy psychopath. You haven’t earned the right to rest. You must come back and redeem yourself. Prove to me that you are a good man by coming back to me. Don’t betray my belief in you again.” Sloane smiles at Hottya and says goodbye. Hottya calls out to him: “Dad!” and that snaps him out of it. They make with the huggies and the tears while the rest of the APO gang tries not to throw up. That whole scene was weird. Seeing Sloane act like the biggest sissy in the group with all the crying and chuckling to himself and whining like a baby and sucking his thumb.

Outside the Second Interrogation/Hypnosis Room. CJ and Sloane are staring at Cloane aka Ned who I think is dead. Sloane: “When I first heard about Rambaldi, I didn’t care about him. I put him and his teachings aside. Then when the baby died, I felt abandoned by everything. One night, I found some Rambaldi writings and they filled me with hope and thus began my crazed Rambaldi obsession.” CJ: “That’s a beautiful story.” Sloane: “I will rectify the mess that I have made.” CJ: “I want to believe you, but all I ever get from you are empty promises.” Sloane says that ever day’s a struggle but he will overcome and make the world a better place. He and CJ grab hands and start singing: “Heal the World! Make it a better place for you and for me and the entire human race except for terrorbees and masquerading terrornannies!”

Next week: Looks like Vaughn wants to add to his wife-killing count
 
CJ, this was gr8!!! I loved it!!! this was a really good one!!!
I think that sydney has taken some of vaughn stupidty pills 2!!
yea, from the preview i saw, vaughn wants 2 add another wife to his WKC, and it seems he is not the only one.... (mayb they could revive emily and kill her again)
 
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